01 March 2010

Dear Ed,
I know this is going to sound ludicrous, I know this Nothingness/Emptiness well yet not really in silence until now. After reading Autobiography of a Jnani page 87 to 92 it came to me so I went and meditated on it and went straight into this nothingness in silence.
I saw how the "I am" is not real and how the mind deludes me into believe everything else is real. This is kind of a first with me. Although I have had similiar sensations.
This nothingness/emptiness was my September expierence, which I had difficulties articulating to you. Looking back over my lifetime many, many times I have been here not knowing what it was.
Several weeks ago I had a small death with an "I am" luckly you had  just explained about getting a new one to another so I did. Yesterday again felt as if I was dying with some strange sensations when I was talking to a friend about nothing related to realization but the sensation was, was this real or not.
Early on when you first stated as my Master I was looking for the gap finding it briefly and did lose sight and understanding of it. I will review the gap in which you talk with Rajiv. These talks have helped my understanding greatly! Thank you and Rajiv.
Unless you indicate anything else I will continue with "I am" the Gita as well as reflecting on it through out the day. I sense that my sittings are more advanced than what I can understand and/or articulate. Is this normal? Any luck with the pet food bank?  My depression has lifted greatly thanks to you Ed and your teachings.
Be well Master,

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