Dear Ed,
I know this is going to sound ludicrous, I know this Nothingness/Emptiness well yet not really in silence until now. After reading Autobiography of a Jnani page 87 to 92 it came to me so I went and meditated on it and went straight into this nothingness in silence.
I saw how the "I am" is not real and how the mind deludes me into believe everything else is real. This is kind of a first with me. Although I have had similiar sensations.
This nothingness/emptiness was my September expierence, which I had difficulties articulating to you. Looking back over my lifetime many, many times I have been here not knowing what it was.
Several weeks ago I had a small death with an "I am" luckly you had just explained about getting a new one to another so I did. Yesterday again felt as if I was dying with some strange sensations when I was talking to a friend about nothing related to realization but the sensation was, was this real or not.
Early on when you first stated as my Master I was looking for the gap finding it briefly and did lose sight and understanding of it. I will review the gap in which you talk with Rajiv. These talks have helped my understanding greatly! Thank you and Rajiv.
Unless you indicate anything else I will continue with "I am" the Gita as well as reflecting on it through out the day. I sense that my sittings are more advanced than what I can understand and/or articulate. Is this normal? Any luck with the pet food bank? My depression has lifted greatly thanks to you Ed and your teachings.
Be well Master,
K.
Ahh, my mind lying to me again.
ReplyDeleteKeith