26 March 2010

Dear Ed,

Read your "Hunting the I." Think it's made one important thing clear. You talk about discovering "the anomaly, that which never changes, which is the subject of all the myriads of objects." I think I've discovered that and in fact discovered it a long time ago. I don't mean to be bragging. It would indeed be an odd thing to brag about, since it's so...well, simple.  I'm able to access it in day-to-day life as well as in formal meditation without difficulty.

The "experience" in meditation is one of resting. It does not require effort. It seems to be something (not a "thing or "object, though) that is apt for abiding.  Abiding in it brings a deep and satisfying samadhi.

There is a sense of "Amness" that goes with or is identical to this abiding. This I AMness is somewhat different from feelings/sensations I have at other times identified as I AM feelings, feelings that do nonetheless seem to be aptly characterized as I AM feelings. It's different for example from the feeling I AM that seems to contract in response to narcissistic wounds. The "feeling" is constant in the sense that, when I have, it is always the same.  It's not something that can be punctured.

The "experience" definitely is not one of finding the self or subject as a thing or object. It is one of being the experiencer or witness. It's a kind of self-awareness but somewhat paradoxically it is not reflective at all. The self-awareness is immediate.

If I understand you correctly and am describing my own experience accurately, then it seems that this is what you call the "real" I AM feeling-the feeling you encourage us to abide in. Does this seem right to you?

Thanks Ed.


Exactly M., 100% spot on.

Just abide there and that is all that has to be done.

Of course, the inner landscape will continue to change and sometimes it will be hard to continually abide in the anomaly, but you've got the method down pat.


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