Self-Knowledge and Self-Realization

Hi Ed


Sorry for not getting back to you in the two weeks you said. I guess I needed more time to sort some things out.


Anyways, I need your advice please. I can finally 'pinpoint' a wordless sensation of "I Am". Though it itself does seem to change. Sometimes appearing in front of me, other times between my heart and belly, though I know these feelings themselves are not the I am sense. I understand intellectualy that this sense is observed and arises in what is observing it and hence it cannot be real either. Alot of peace has arisen just by abiding in this I am though. I am not sure what to do from here, do I just continually abide in this I AM? Or the 'sense of looking or observing' this I AM?


That Nisargadatta-Gita you gave me,has been a tremendous help !


Thanks a lot!


R.


RESPONSE:


For now, abide in the feeling I Am. Get to know it full well. The the I Am eventually will become the observer by itself.


Ed


TO ME (Two weeks later) :


Ive undergone quite a change in perception. It is as you said. Its like the I sense feels foreign and 'I' am observing it. Sometimes it feels like I have nothing to 'cling on to' as the I Am sense or 'me'. So I guess now its more a thing of being 'me' and resting as that?


Thank you


R.


RESPONSE:


Yes, yes, yes!


Find that which feels most like "me" and then rest in it.


Ed


TO ME:


I feel like something is going to happen pretty soon. I feel like I am losing myself. It feels like things happen on their own at times, like a thought or my body moving etc. Concepts feel strange and foreign, even an urge such as hunger for example. It just feels like its there. I dont really know how to explain this. But I also feel frightened and I don't know why. It feels like this enquiry also happens with very little effort and runs on its own spontaneously. It feels like something is pulling 'me' along ?? Any advice would be great, but il keep abiding.


Thanks!


R.


RESPONSE:


R., you are doing well. Don't let fear deter you, continue to go straight ahead as you have been doing.


TO ME:


I hope you are well (how could you not be lol). Anyways I have a question, would like your guidance. I have had a taste of Turiya quite a few times, some more 'deeper' than others. I can see that thoughts and so on, desires, etc are empty and just float on 'my' surface. My question is, is it necessary to stabilize there 24/7 to go beyond? Because it comes and goes (get distracted and seem to 'chase' the images on the surface). Though I try to self-abide as much as I can and it comes, without seeing Turiya as the actual goal of course. There have been points where I can see that anything I am is beyond mind or any appearance and I can understand why any attempt at describing is futile, though of course some 'I' still remains. Would Turiya eventually become more permanent the more I go back to it?


Thank you, I have deep gratitude for your help, its much appreciated!


R.


RESPONSE:


Stay away from labels such as Turiya, the Absolute, Consciousness, etc.  They only make sense within the context of a philosophy of existence and knowing. You want to go beyond all understanding and knowing, which is just the mind. The point of all true spiritual philosophy is to satisfy the mind with explanations, so that it doesn't wander in thought any longer, and stops and observes and rests in the fundamental state. 


Therefore, just stay as much in the sense of 'I Am' as you can, whatever that means to you. Like I say, that sense varies as meditation matures. All through the day, go to that place whatever you are doing, and of course in formal meditation.


But you have to become totally stupid without any understanding of Advaita philosophy or terms.


Ed