21 September 2014

RAJIV KAPUR: A DETAILED CRITICISM

Rajiv sent the following two comments to my post about teachers, including him. They were anonymous, but were posted from a device in Mumbai between 8:38 and 8:52 AM Sunday, and only one device was looking at the blog for a 36 minute interval that covered both comments.

I know Mumbai has millions of people, but only Rajiv or his students look at my blog, and only one had 265 visits during the past couple of years.

With all due respect Ed, isn't it possible that you simply have fallen to your own mind playing tricks on you? I don't believe that you are Self-realized, too bad that Robert is not around anymore setting you straight. A Jnani certainly doesn't create that much drama you do, unless that "Jnani" has still subtle attachments to his ego/mind. Did it ever occur to you that you can be wrong and therefore leading those people who are following you astray? May the Masters bless you my friend.

Ed, I sense that the real issue is Rajiv’s disrespect to “you”. If he still would praise you as his master and guru you would still praise him as you did years ago. The real reason for this comment is to lash out to someone who had the audacity to diss you. “Who” is reacting to all of these irrelevant issues, perhaps your subtle mind/ego attachments?

Rajiv, I have been holding onto this situation for almost two years, protecting you and dying a little inside for not speaking out.  Lisa is long gone, and you have not talked to me in over a year. Now that I am telling this story, a heavy weight is lifting, just as it lifted for Lisa when she told me her story of her relationship with you. People who keep a lot of secrets inside, suffer from all kinds of physical and mental disorders.

With Rajiv in LA, 2013.  We had the best of time.
My anger—yes, anger—towards you arises out of your actions with one of your students 2012, one who we supposedly both loved and cared for. Lisa, is not her real name, I remain protective still even though she left our Sangha long ago.

I have secondary concerns about your emotional maturity, integrity, and obsessive need to hide everything, and also criticism of your simplistic "new" Implosive Chakra meditation method which is the same as taught by dozens of energy teachers, and is unrelated to Ramana Maharshi in any way. Ramana never advised any Chakra meditation.


---------------------------

Lisa fell deeply in love through Rajiv by email and Skype over a period of a year or two during 2011--2012,  She told me their relationship began when Rajiv wrote to Lisa, that "Edji doesn't see you. He has over looked a diamond on the sidewalk."  He went on to tell her what a diamond she was and even helped her build a website to promote her, and when she visited him in Mumbai, he shot a video of her to promote her.  I should mention that Lisa had been consistently emailing me in 2011, but less and less in 2012, stating much later that Rajiv wanted to keep everything between them secret and not to write to me so much.

After a year of this Skype romance when she landed in Mumbai he picked her up at the airport and took her to her hotel where they began an intense sexual relationship continued at his home while she stayed there his wife and kids.

After a week of the affair at his house, she became very ill, vomiting and was bedridden for three days. Rajiv contacted me as to what to do as he was worried about her.

Apparently about this time Rajiv’s wife also began suspecting Rajiv was cheating on her, so Rajiv made Lisa leave their home and stay at a nearby ashram even while she was ill.

A few months later Lisa came to see me in LA. She was in love with our crazy lineage of Ramana, Robert, Ed, Rajiv and herself. She came as a mouthpiece for Robert, who she saw in visions, telling me she was there to set me straight because I had deviated from the straight and narrow.

She became ill again while here and I emailed Rajiv about it asking in more detail how she was in terms of illness and behaviors when she was with him.

Lisa left Los Angeles after two weeks.  About six weeks later she emailed me that Rajiv was withdrawing from her and wanted if I knew why or could I find out why.

When she visited me again a couple of months later, Rajiv had all but told her to leave him alone.  I found out later that my telling him about her getting sick again in Los Angeles, along with his wife's suspicions, made him back away from her.  He wrote me an email that he was up to his ears with responsibilities, that he couldn't think of taking on a new "burden" in the form of a Lisa that often became ill.


Lisa was quite upset with his leaving and then told me a huge secret that had been killing her, literally making her physically and emotionally ill. I want to make this clear: people who keep things bottled up and secret always suffer from physical and/or mental disorders due to stress, and not being open to feeling and expressing emotions cuts the seeker off from an enormous supply of energy that could be used for spiritual growth.


She admitted she had had an intense sexual affair with Rajiv while she was in Mumbai, and he had been continually withdrawing since, with “guru proper language” replacing the romantic and poetic language he had spoken before.

Lisa wanted me to “fix” her relationship with Rajiv because she was desperately in love with him.  She was quite emotionally shaken, and tormented by her lost love and abandonment.  She said when they met in Mumbai they almost tore the clothes off each other, and wanted me to tell Rajiv she was willing to be his secret mistress as she did not want to harm his marriage or his wife. (I have emails to this effect and Rajiv's responses.)

To tell you the truth, at first I did not believe her.  Lisa herself was not the most open and forthcoming person, and I thought then she was maybe making it up or had fantasies.  


So I kept checking.  I checked with Rajiv, I questioned her.  But the stress and pressure she was under, apparently as the result of their relationship, had taken a huge toll on her ability to cope and work.

She blamed me for Rajiv's withdrawal because I had told him of her repeated illnesses, and insisted that I fix their relationship by telling Rajiv that there was nothing wrong with her. She insisted I tell no one of her relationship with Rajiv, and that I must continue to love him to preserve the lineage of Ramana to Robert, me, and Rajiv through to her.  

Anyway, I wanted to establish a three-way communication with Rajiv over this matter, openly, just the three of us at Lisa’s request. I wanted to hear Rajiv's side of the story and had hoped to help Lisa work through her pain which had been crippling her ability to function by an open and honest three way exchange, as teacher for both these former students, and having acted in the capacity of a psychotherapist (Licensed psych assistant under other professional licenses) for over 25 years.

Rajiv just flatly refused to admit anything, and refused to talk about the situations and Lisa's accusations, saying he was maintaining a “dignified silence” and would say no more. He even sent an email saying he was done with this matter and I should not bother to talk to him about it any more. (Another email I have.)

He then talked to his wife saying Lisa was in love with him and was making up stories.  Rajiv then wrote Lisa (and me) saying his wife forbids him to have anything to do with her, and Lisa is not to come to Mumbai unless she acted like a proper student. In other words, he ran to mama with a cover-story.


Let us just say that Lisa was deeply hurt by the whole ordeal, especially after Rajiv sent her an email saying, “You have cast a dark shadow over our sacred love” (by telling Edji about their relationship). Even now, I believe she still wants Rajiv back and pines for him as her lost sacred love. In other words, for him, the love affair was sacred, but it was all her fault for talking to me about it. 

TWO YEARS AGO WHILE TALKING TO RAJIV OVER SKYPE, HE TOLD ME: Ed, I have never been in love with a woman.  I just miss the whole point.  I flirt with them and play with them, but I can’t take them seriously.” 

He also told me he feels dead inside.  He just has no warmth, love, or anything when alone, but when a student comes to him with a lot of love for him, he feels their love deeply and comes alive—for a time.  When they leave, he feels dead again.

I believe Rajiv lives off the love of his students.  Lisa’s love was not strong enough to make him traverse the reverse spiritual path back into his body and heart the way I teach now as a result of another student loving me.  Lisa feels she failed to bring Rajiv back to life as this other student did for me, permanently, and herself felt she did not have the necessary love or power to awaken him.

But I do not think Lisa’s self-assessment of failure is correct. I think Rajiv is fundamentally more schizoid and possibly sociopathic than anyone could have brought to lasting self-love.  His heart was not “ignitable,” at least back then.

So, I do not trust Rajiv with women students.  He does not love them, only lives off their love while they are around.  He will cast them out if they appear to become a burden, or makes his wife suspect he is cheating on her.

RAJIV, THIS IS MY MAJOR MOTIVATOR FOR MY CRITICISM: You are callous, tossing Lisa out of your house even while she was ill, because your wife suspected something. You are even more callous when you refuse to address Lisa’s desperate love for you by refusing to talk about what happened and work on hurt feelings all around. 


You have criticized me for violence and hurting my students, but you do what you want to do, then hide it, and then deny everything. Apparently you consider such deviant behaviors alright if not talked about and that “silence” is proper Jnani behavior, while I am demented from a parasite attacking my brain creating openness and drama.


SECONDLY: You had your initial realization happen through me over a period of two or three months by daily email contacts. But this was the Robert Adams style of awakening as the Witness of Consciousness only. You have not turned the corner to return to Self-Realization of the Manifest Self, the Atman, through emotional work, energetic work, or through love, the Bhaktic way. 

Your method is basically elementary a three Chakra meditation.  It is Kindergarten spirituality, basic energetic stuff.  But there is no love here of your own, only the reflected love of your students, yet you criticize me about non-stop talk of love.

In fact, three years ago, when you thought I was bedding all my female students (I was not), you told me that you were going to have sex with more women than I, have more students than I, and be a bigger teacher in all ways.

THIRDLY: You say a Jnani certainly does not create the drama we have around our Sangha.  But this drama is secondary to your callous handling of someone I care for a lot and the pain you caused her and therefore me.  I wonder how many other women would tell similar stories.

In fact, a Sangha without “drama” is dry indeed. I would relate stories about the drama in Robert's Sangha, which led to your disowning him also.  Only the appearance of propriety is allowed in your Sangha.

I certainly do not live by your nineteenth century, Indian “proper appearance and dignified silence” protocol behind which you hide your deviant behaviors.

My "deviant" behaviors are more or less in the open and many of them are part and parcel of my teachings of becoming once again a fully embodied human being filled with emotions, loves, desires, and crazy energies that entertain from moment to moment as well as being aware of the transcendent Witness, and becoming that Witness, Parabrahman. You need identity with the Life Force and real love and you are missing that or you remain dead inside.


FOURTHLY, I felt hurt when you totally abandoned me.  There is no mention of Robert or me as your teachers on your website rajivkapur,com, even though our book about your awakening under me is still there. AND, you came to LA 4 times, and only contacted me once just to talk. That hurt.  It also hurt Lisa who was in LA during one of your visits.


Also, you have sold yourself to become a Hollywood guru, and I am sure I will hear more about that later. That is another part of your distancing; going with students who don't care about you except to build a large organization in Los Angeles.

Be all this as it may, I have to report my possible complicity in Rajiv's behavior.  When I fell in love with a student in 2010, and eventually had my third awakening to the Manifest Self, I excitedly told Rajiv that if love came knocking at his door again, he should jump on board and love deeply so that he may also awaken out of his deadness to the Life Force I had found.  Lisa even blamed me for setting Rajiv up by telling him to fall in love when it was offered. But because of Lisa's specialness to me, and that she had been my student before Rajiv romanced her away, I felt especially hurt.  It was all done in silence and behind my back, even before Lisa visited him in Mumbai.








RAJIV'S ANONYMOUS RESPONSE TO MY POST ABOUT HIM AND OTHER GURUS

THESE ANONYMOUS COMMENTS CAME IN THIS MORNING AT 8:38 AM AND 8:52 AM FROM MUMBAI. 

While I am not certain it is from Rajiv because I don't know the device he uses--I am sure he has more than one--I assume the comments are from him as they attack me and staunchly defend him, or from a student in Mumbai. 

This single device was the only one open to my blog during the interval covering these two posts. I have tracking software that tells me the time, duration, and location of all visitors to this site. I also assume it was Rajiv, because that device was used to access the blog 265 times over the past two years.

I will reply with specifics with regard to my warning about Rajiv as a teacher later today or tomorrow.


Ed, I sense that the real issue is Rajiv's disrespect to "you". If he still would praise you as his Master and guru you would still praise him as you did years ago. The real reason for this comment is to lash out to someone who had the audacity to diss you. "Who" is reacting to all of these irrelevant issues? Perhaps your subtle mind/ego attachments? on I HAVE TO SPEAK 



at 8:52 AM
With all due respect Ed, isn't it possible that you simply have fallen to your own mind playing tricks on you? I don't believe that you are Self-realized, too bad that Robert is not around anymore setting you straight. A Jnani certainly doesn't create that much drama you do, unless that "Jnani" has still subtle attachments to his ego/mind. Did it ever occur to you that you can be wrong and therefore leading those people who are following you astray? May the Masters bless you my friend. on I HAVE NOT ABANDONED ROBERT, RAMANA, OR NISARGADATTA
Anonymous
at 8:38 AM



20 September 2014

I HAVE NOT ABANDONED ROBERT, RAMANA, OR NISARGADATTA

I have just added an emphasis on Love to their emphasis on Knowledge (Jnan). This makes the path juicier and more human-focused.  I call this the incarnational or devotional aspect of spirituality.

Many people have left our Sangha because they feel I have abandoned Robert and Ramana.  That is simply, totally false.  I have just added an emphasis on Bhaktic introspection of the I Am sensation to activate the Subtle Body energies and the emotional body energies which adds powedr to anyone’s attempt to know themselves.

You see, Nisargadatta started his spiritual practice looking for the I Am sensation, finally found it, and experienced the endless internal energies and bliss he called Krishna Consciousness.  But later in life he entirely abandoned his body and Consciousness and identified with the Witness, the Absolute, Parabrahman.

In my own experience, and watching Robert’s students, Zen students, Muktananda students over the years, practices that emphasize on the visual/knowledge aspect of spirituality cannot touch or resolve depression.

Many of Robert’s students just got caught into an emotionaless Void, or inner emptiness which was devoid of the Life Force, Shakti.  Some committed suicide. Others just remained lifeless or depressed.

With my background of 30 years in psychology, I spent much time exploring, empowering, and learning about the human self, the personal self, especially as taught in the British Object Relations School. Much later I was to learn that actively directing love to aspects of that inner personal Self, which was called the Inner Child during the 1970s and 1980s, allowed access to buried emotions, memories, anger, jealousy, and most importantly, to fear, grief, and depression.

I find that a majority of those who practice Self-Inquiry in the way taught by Robert or Ramana results in a stabilized but unresolved depression, a huge pool of denied anger, and fear.  These are by-passed and undermine complete realization, or Self-Realization because the power of the personal is missing.  Also, there is little compassion there, because compassion requires openness to the physical and emotional pain of others. Those who have practiced just the direct self-inquiry of Robert and Ramana discount the external world altogether as not touching them, or else say everything is them, but do so from a remote and peaceful emptiness.

Treading down this emotional exploration and integration path should be looked at as following one thread of exploring the I Am, which is closely associated with a separate, parallel thread of the Subtle Body energies, or Shakti.  Many Bhaktis follow this thread backwards to the Self.

But everything I teach centers on Self-Realization by “descending” backwards or downwards through several separate threads or aspects within the experience of I Am.

I call what I teach Incarnational Spirituality, or Devotional Advaita, which is emphasizing the human interpersonal emotions and energies that keep us real, so to speak, keep us in a place we can feel compassion and love, which when turned backwards onto ourselves, will result in the explosive Self-Realization of the divinity, power, and love, that lies within us.  Ramana called this realization of the Self as Atman.  This is purely an energetic/emotional experience that keeps us empathic rather than aloof and distant.

Now, I also still emphasize realization of the Self as the Absolute, parabrahman, but very clearly state that without the continued experience of the personal, love, empathy, the Atman, realization of the Absolute can be very dry and lifeless.

Both paths should be done together.  This makes spirituality more fun, more exciting, less dry, and keeps us involved with mankind.

I have emphasized human love as essential to realization of Atman, but not to realization of the Witness, Parabrahman.

In the end, after having both styles of Self-Realization, of both Atman and Brahman, one KNOWS and one LOVES the Oneness of Atman/Parabrahman unity.

19 September 2014

CHARLEY AMAZES US AGAIN!!!

UNBELIEVABLE CHARLEY!!!!!!!

Every day we give Charley a steroid shot, fluids under the skin for hydration, pain medication, and a healing session.  Yesterday we had an extraordinarily deep healing session, which I’ll describe on a different post later.

Charley has been able to eat again after 3 weeks of being only able to drink liquids.  For two weeks he has been ravenous for baby food and has actually gained weight. But today he stopped eating baby food, rejecting it all.  I was worried until Kerima told me that last night Charley began eating regular cat food again, just like all of our other cats!!!

I JUST CAN’T BELIEVE IT!!!  A CAT WITH A 100% FATAL DISEASE, WHO SHOULD HAVE BEEN DEAD TWO MONTHS AGO, IS GETTING BETTER!


BACKGROUND:

Charley, our 7 year old cat has squamous cell carcinoma ot the mouth (Mandibular), which is 100% fatal with no known cure.  His oncologist told us on June 10 he had a month to live.  He is still alive.

In fact, the longest any cat has live with squamous cell mandibular cancer with surgery, radiation, and chemotherapy is 435 days.  The mean time until death for cats receiving all three is 7 months. Cats who receive none of these treatments live about a month.

Charley received no such treatments, as the tumor was inoperable, and the palliative radiation alone would have cost $2,800, which we no longer have, and would have only given him only an additional 2 to 4 months of life.

Five weeks ago Charley stopped being able to eat anything, and could only get liquids past the tumor.  If he ate ANYTHING, it caused severe bleeding from the tumor.

Then two weeks ago, after many healing sessions by many people, Charley began eating baby food, Beachnut and Gerbers, and has been doing so for over two weeks, eating 4-5 bottles a day and gaining weight.

LAST NIGHT AFTER OUR USUAL HEALING SESSION, HE STOPPED EATING BABY FOOD AND BEGAN TO WOLF DOWN REGULAR CAT FOOD!!!! NO BLEEDING!!!

17 September 2014

I HAVE TO SPEAK TRUTH ABOUT CERTAIN TEACHERS

I have tried to teach in ways never done before by any teacher I have actually been with, by being as honest about myself, other teachers, and sometimes ex students as I can be, within the limits of my own ability to be truthful with myself.

I have met and corresponded with several modern gurus, some of whom receive my highest recommendation, some a moderate recommendation, and a few who I feel may be or are harmful.  Francis Bennett reminded me of my duty is to warn potential students against the latter, while promoting the former.

One teacher who should be warned of is Rajiv Kapur, a former student of mine who coauthored a book with me. Rajiv is a liar, has actively bad mouthed me to others, denied me as his awakening teacher, denied Robert Adams, and has used my Sangha as a springboard to fill his own, and to support others in his own Sangha.

Rajiv even told some of my closest students he believed that some parasite from my cats had invaded my brain causing dementia. This was not said in jest. Rajiv just does not understand or experience emotional openness, interpersonal honesty, nor does he value openness and discussion. He considers such as a mental illness, and that the highest form of practice is silence, which allows him to do many things, and get away with them by hiding behind silence.

Rajiv has inflicted great pain on some of my students, and publicly denied these painful acts and refused to discuss them openly with those students and myself, saying he is taking a position of dignified silence.
He should have said of "Self-protective silence."

Rajiv is a typical Indian guru, calm, composed, and aloof on the surface, but beset by inner emptiness and pain, even while using students to promote his Sangha and become a Hollywood Guru. He hides everything in silence, and as he puts it, is dead inside until a loving student approaches him, and then he finally feels love in himself, which goes away when the student leaves his presence.

My favorite line of Rajiv's is when he told a student of his, who had told me about some of his actions, that by telling me (Ed), "You have cast a dark shadow over our sacred love."

Unlike Ramana, me, or Robert Adams, his grand-teacher, he charges for Skype sessions and online lessons, teaches chakra meditation, and badmouths our lineage, all acts completely at odds with Ramana Maharshi, who he now claims is/was his sole guru and inspiration.

Others related teachers, like Deeya, have my highest respect and greatest love. She is a gentle flower who needs a lot of support, love, and protection, and is not cut out to go the guru route, which she has admitted to many.  Crowds of people overwhelm her.  She likes small groups for intimacy.

I still recommend students to go to Deeya on a quiet, one-on-one basis, or through her Quantum Touch classes. She has the highest integrity and is a magnificent healer, but she does not like the public life, and faded from ours as "Too much pressure!"

More than that, she has the gift of psychic powers and an easy ability to transition to different dimensions and dwell in ecstatic states for days and weeks at a time, a psychic ability of which I am still striving to attain.

I also highly recommend Swami Chetanananda in Portland, who is extremely generous as a human with his teachings, direct healing work, and material things.  However, he never stops moving and newcomers may find him difficult to get close to due to the size of his ashram and Sangha, almost 2,000 people in Portland.  But he is from a lineage of great masters, such as Rudi and Nityananda, and is a practical, down to earth Tantric Guru. I love his presentation in this video of a quatralogue between him, Sw. Shankarabanda, Master Charles =, and Andrew Cohen.

Also I love Shankarananda as a brother and a friend and I am sure he is doing fantastic work for students in Australia.

Francis Bennett is another recommendation because of his humility and depth, and easy accessibility. We have communicated off and on over the past three or four years. He has integrity and clarity, and deals with the emotional aspects of spiritual pain. There are a few others that are popping up here and there, and are not so famous as to be unapproachable.

I also recommend Jan Esmann, but he has a thin skin and often takes credit for things he should not. He refused my offer of friendship on Facebook because three of my former students now are with him, including Waldo, who publishes his books.  Apparently he is afraid of offending Waldo and losing a publisher.

But he thoroughly understands the Emptiness/Bliss apparent dichotomy and can transmit awakening through Shaktipat for those who are ready.

I have one special mention, and that is of Eric Pepin, also in Portland. Many pooh, pooh Eric as a New Age salesman, and he certainly is not shy in that department, with a wide array of DVDs and courses for sale at increasingly expensive prices.

But I read two of his books and like them.  He has a way of restating and reframing spirituality that is incredibly powerful, and offers techniques of meditation to enter the world of energies and dimensional travels.  But his organization, Higher Balance offers much that is free and helpful; however, the size of his organization means you are unlikely to get that close to him.  Nor can I gauge the depth of his teachings, because his books are written basically for beginners and focus on Subtle Body energies, psychic phenomena, and astral travel and getting students to take his classes. I have not seen him touch on the Manifest versus Unmanifest Self, and the mechanism of the origin of Consciousness.

16 September 2014

EVERYTHING I HAVE OFFERED HAS BEEN COMPLETELY FREE!!

I started teaching meditation and Zen after several years of Zen practice at four University of California Extensions: UCLA, UCIrvine, UCSD, and UC Santa Barbara from 1975 to 1981.  I also taught meditation and led Zen retreats at the International Buddhist Meditation Center under the Venerable Thich Tien-An during all during the 1970s.  There I studied with many Zen masters, including Sasaki Roshi, Maezumi Roshi, Ven. Song-Ryong Hearn, Kozan Roshi, and Seung Sahn Soen Sa. I was ordained as a Zen monk both by Thich Tien-An and later by Seung Sahn Soen Sa.

For several years during the late 1970s I studied with Dhyan Yogi, a Kundalini grandmaster, who came to the IBMC every year for 4 years in a row, as well as Dr. Ed Wortz, a Zen-Gestalt psychotherapist. I also met the Dalai Lama and Shakya Tenzin, head of the Shakya sect, when both were hosted for long stretches, at the IBMC and Thich Tien-An.

During the 1970s as well as later during the 1990s, I was an instructor at the College of Oriental Studies and later, an officer and spokesperson for the American Buddhist Congress under Dr. Ven. Ratanasara.

As a result of this background, I was invited to go to Seoul Korea by the Chogye Zen order, and was installed as America’s First World Teacher of Chogye Zen  which basically allowed to found a lay order of my own anywhere in the world.

In 1978 I met my fried Swami Shankarananda at his Ashram in Los Angeles, and studied with him and Swami Muktananda from then until 1983 with Muktananda’s successors, Sw.  Nityananda and Chidvilasananda.  I was on the security staff for Muktananda when he was in Los Angeles for 6 months in 1980, and was head of Ashram security and bodyguard for the successors when they were in Los Angeles.

During the 1980s I studied psychotherapy, especially that of the British Object Relations school of Fairbairn, Guntrip and Klein while attending Sierra University, obtaining a Ph.D. in psychology, and began treating patients during 1987.  My dissertation was on spiritual bypassing, the use of meditation and other techniques as ego defenses.

In 1989 I finally met my Guru, Robert Adams, and stayed close by him for 6 years in Los Angeles, and two more years after he moved to Sedona.  Under him I obtained awakening first to the no-boundary experience of unity Consciousness, the experience of the interpenetration of Void and all phenomena, inner and outer, and then the realization that I was beyond even Consciousness itself. I was the observer of it and it did not touch me.

From 1987 until about 2003 I worked as a psychological assistant under many psychotherapists, and finally began teaching all that I had learned after tens of thousands of hours of meditation, study under six Zen Masters, Dhyan Yogi, Muktananda, and psychotherapy on a very applied and personal level in a way few other teachers teach.

In 2010, in a very mysterious process, I awakened to the full experience of Self at Atman, the identity of the universal sentience, or awareness as an energy being, with the source of that energy being the Manifest God, Kali, or Shakti. This was a Tantric Self-Realization of the Manifest Self through love, which is the primary point of my current teachings: How to use love to awaken one’s energies, Shakti, leading to realization of the manifest Self in a rather spectacular experience of energies, light, expanded sense of energetic presence, and the experience of oneself as both absolute Knowledge, Love, and energies.

Few are any of any of the army of 30 year old teachers know of this realm and associated experiences because they do not practice meditation and have not accumulated Joriki, or meditation power.

AND EVERYTHING I HAVE DONE, OFFERED STUDENTS, INCLUDING BOOKS, RETREATS, SATSANG, SKYPE SESSIONS, EMAIL AND PHONE CONSULTS, HAS BEEN COMPLETELY FREE!!!!

As part of my teachings, I incorporated as a non-profit during 2011 to support both my teachings, as well as the animal welfare work I do caring for over 300 feral cats in the West San Fernando Valley.  We started strong, starting a project called No Pet Left Behind that was supposed to involve Walmart and others to place cats and kittens into homes.
However, apparently the universe does not want this model of free teachings and animal rescue work all done for free, supported only by donations, at least as performed by me.

Part of it is my destruction at Facebook, where there is little or no respect for experience, training, or really, any sort of subtlety or nuance in teachings.  It is flooded with 20 and 30 year old teachers who may or may not have had some sort of awakening experience, and who have decided to capitalize on their awakening immediately, without further aging, meditation, AND HUMILITY.  This group are instant self-proclaimed experts, and the vast majority are of the No-Self, or no-separate-self school of thought where the only qualification is being able to market themselves through gimmicks, such as carrying a “You are Perfect” sign, or writing books about becoming enlightened by believing you are already enlightened and have nothing to do.

This is the old way, the traditional way of the Eastern traditions. Even my own former student, Rajiv, took the book we wrote together and began teaching almost immediately, and now does not even respond to email queries, but charges for Skype sessions, and online classes.

This understanding is a gross perversions of the teachings of Ramana Mahashi, Nisargadatta, Ranjit, and Robert Adams.  Now everyone is an expert of Facebook, because enlightenment only requires holding onto the concept that there is no Self and nothing to do or obtain.

BUT THERE IS A SELF, AND THERE IS SELF-REALIZATION.  

There is also a realization beyond realization of the energetic, manifest Self, and that is realization of Self as the divine witness, Parabrahman.  Full Self-Realization requires both realization of the Self as the Manifest Self of God incarnated in human form, and of Self as the Absolute, entirely beyond the world, beyond even emptiness and form.

The bottom line is that my work is not being and has not been supported by donations for a couple of years now, so I have to change.  It may be I’ll get off the Internet and FB altogether, and just teach a few students that come join me in Los Angeles.  Or I may move to Arizona where  I can live more cheaply.  Or I may stop teaching altogether.  Or, I may join with another teacher who the universe does support as I tried to do with Deeya, who has a magical presence and attracted huge crowds.  However, Deeya hated the pressure of “performing” before large crowds.  As she said, she is from a small city in Scotland, and has a difficult time with massive public exposure, and simply fell apart under the pressure of fame.

I may be leaving the world of marketplace gurus altogether, and continue to focus on learning how to use energies for real healing, way beyond Reiki and other such.  My gut feeling is that energy healing can really work, but the current systems really don't go deeply enough in terms of understanding of understanding how healing works.  Then I can make a living operating a pet health business selling products, as well as healing sessions.


My recent experiences with my cat Charley, dying from an inoperable squamous cell mandibular cancer has motivated me to look more deeply into systems of energy healing.

I am sorry it has come to this, but the universe has spoken.  It prefers teachers that promise instant enlightenment, no effort, no meditation, no spiritual growth or practices, and who are basically self-help salesmen selling an easy way to self-delusion.

14 September 2014

SATSANG TODAY, SUNDAY, SEPTEMBER 14, 2PM CALFIORNIA TIME.

Go to to http://satsangwithedji.weebly.com.

Sign in with the password   "edji"  whenever asked.  Sign in as guest.  Please mute your microphone.

11 September 2014

Dialogue with Jay about Ranjit Maharaj, Parabrahman and the Atman and the Void

FROM JAY:

Jay….
I need you to define your use of the word/concept, Void……My experience of inner void is like  the outside of  the body there is space everywhere with object in the space. The space is not  modified by the objects nor can you say the objects are separate from the space…. now Inner Space is the same but more subtle, there is subtle differences in the inner space one containing the seeds of manifestation termed the casual body the more subtler is supacasual body the cause of the causal body which contains Knowledge in the form of Awareness . this is also recognised as the Body of Brahman another name is MahaMaya….This Awareness isn’t ParaBrahman!!

Ed's Response: I agree 100%.  I call this recognition and identification with Turiya or Atman.  Not Parabrahman.  


In any case i am not sure how you are using the word Void……Maybe Void is the Zero that Ranjit pointed at so often in his talks….Many years ago when i used to do allot of sitting meditation there was a time that i would experience a luminous void of swirling vortex energies….for a long time i believed by disappearing into this i would be enlightened and loose completely the sense of self that was believed to be the source of my suffering….of course this was not correct but yet it is a stage that i can only say that I needed to pass through……This was way before i met Ranjit Maharaj…I had no idea about my Self nature, coming from many years of Buddhist training i firmly believed there was no Self, it was a very confusing period…


Ed: I am not familiar with Ranjit.  I did not like his writing style or abstractness.  I like Siddharameshwar and use his terminology.

I call Turiya the manifest Self, versus the Witness, the noumenal, or non-manifest Self.  For me the Void is the inner and out spaciousness that permeates and contains all inner and out experience.  It is still part and parcel of the Manifest Self.


Let me say one more thing before i move on…..Everything seems to replicate itself from the most subtle to the grossest, all appearing similar to the prior but in each replication there is distortion it isn’t the real deal…..So lets say Parabrahman seems to appear to be Replicated to Appear as Brahman…you see they are both a Witness….The difference is Brahman is identified with the apparent creation because it is all Consciousness the very substance of everything and Nothing/ Form/Formless. Now ParABRHAMAN THE ORIGINAL FACELESS FACE ISN’T ATTACHED TO ANYTHING, IS NEVER MODIFIED IS CAUSELESS AND ABSOLUTELY NOTHING  CAN EVER BE SAID TO GIVE ANY INDICATION OF OUR ONLY REAL I. I AM NOT IN TIME OR SPACE NOR DO I COME AND GO, UNKNOWABLE AM I….Everthing else is transient and there for not Real…..In a way to be fair I would say everything is real and not real at the same time because I is Real and I is eternal substratum of all form and formless appearance….This is all my Self Knowledge through experience, sure many outside influences came  when needed to shed light call it Grace….Also i agree with Ranjit Maharaj understanding is shared through knowledge using words to point etc…….You may be of a different persuasion, i respect that. I can pretty much read discourse by anyone that is pointing correctly and derive what they are getting at…where when i started out with this so called official seeking it was very unclear, but interesting  what kept the me going this is  the Amazement of Grace…...

Ed: I mostly agree with your characterization. Just because phenomena are temporary, does not mean they are not real.

Also, you are both the Manifest and Unmanifest Self.  You can experience their identification when you have fully experienced both. Parabrahman and Atman are one in my experience.  AND, all four states are permeated by Emptiness.  All phenomena are permeated by the Void, and the Void is filled with objects and experiences, whether of the inner or outer worlds.  


Now you cannot directly experience Parabrahman as an object, but only know of its separate existence when you reside and rest in the Witness; then you "apprehend" that all that you see, hear, taste and touch are not you.

But eventually they all come together: the Manifest Self or Atman, the Causal Body, the Subtle Body, the Physical Body, all permeated by the Void, and YOU, as Parabrahman witnessing the Play of Consciousness.

10 September 2014

WATCH THE BEST INTERVIEW I EVER HAD. WITH PAUL KELLY OF RAW AND COOKED VEGAN. WE COVER A GOOD PORTION OF ALL MY TEACHINGS. PAUL REALLY GETS IT.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=7HZHywjonhA

You cannot seek the Absolute, you can only Be it. Seek instead the I Am and rest there.

If you pursue and rest in the I Am, you obtain liberation while in bliss. If you pursue the subject, the Witness, it keeps receding more and more into the Void so that eventually you are the Void.

But resting in the I Am, you feel the separat
ion between you and the I Am, allowing you to realize you can only Be the Witness, the Absolute. It is not observable, it is not part of the world. It cannot be caught or possessed. You are not part of this physical/energetic world as the Absolute.

Then, by going back and forth between being the Witness and identifying with the I Am, you gain the final understanding that you are both. As long as the body lasts you are an incarnated divine being joined by awareness with the Witness.

COMMENT BY STUDENT:


You started nice, you cannot seek the absolute, you can only be it! After you started writing about seeking and you destroyed the beautiful start!

Ed's RESPONSE:

You belong to that large class of people that have the mistaken concept that all you have to do is stop seeking, stop spiritual effort and all will be revealed. That is absolutely not true. This is a concept that traps you in mediocrity. 

Ramana would not agree with that; Nisargadatta and Siddharameshwar would not agree; Robert Adams an I disagree with that; Muktananda, Chetanananda would disagree with that. The six Zen masters I studied with would disagree with that. Buddha would disagree as would all Tibetan Lamas.  Ramaykrishna would disagree with that.  As a matter of fact, I can't think of any great teacher of present or past who would agree that effort is not necessary except the legion of posers on Facebook.

Only lazy and confused people believe as you do, or the tons of Facebook gurus that make a living off people who want to believe that spiritual effort is useless.

09 September 2014

INCARNATIONAL SPIRITUALITY (AKA DEVOTIONAL ADVAITA)

Four years ago I began an experiment in teaching emphasizing introspective exploration of the I Am sense, not with the intent of transcending it and finding the Absolute Witness, but to explore all levels of human or embodied Consciousness. This included a special emphasis on three areas: Love/devotion/and surrender as number 1, exploration of all aspects of Subtle Body energies, and the bliss arising into the Subtle Body from deeper levels within Consciousness, and all aspects of human emotionality that emerge through the introspective process.

Many observers back then were unhappy with my emphasis on physicality and the Manifest Consciousness as opposed to Nisargadatta’s emphasis on the Unmanifest Self, the Witness, the Absolute, Parabrahman.

I responded by showing that in Ramana’s own view, the awakening he pointed to was attaining the experience of Satchitananda, existence/knowledge/bliss, by immersion within the 4th state, Turiya, and then identification with that state as I or Self.

In fact, this is exactly the path Nisargadatta took before becoming a Jnani emphasizing the Witness or Parabrahman. In his earliest work, Self-Knowledge and Self-Realization, he speaks in terms of understanding and experiencing “energies,” then discovering Krishna Consciousness through Loving introspection and devotion to God and Guru, finally dwelling in Krishna Consciousness, divine bliss, Satchitananda.

However, by the end of his life all the bliss and energies seem to have departed, or at least he did not talk about them, and condemned all experience, all phenomena, as being unreal, the only reality being the impersonal observer, the Witness, Parabrahman.

Robert Adams and Ramana both usually refer to the experiences of bliss as a stage reached before attaining the Absolute, and Ramana mixed his own direct experience with Advaidic philosophies and complex series of Samadhis and purification that made his teachings rather complex and self-contradictory.  Robert on the other hand, just emphasized being the impersonal witness and in that state, experienced “peace beyond understanding,” which was also Nisargadatta’s claimed state.

Ed with Deeya, Cofounder of Devotional Advaita
In my experience of over 50 years of reading, meditation practice, and study with focus on attaining the absolute, the Witness, without also exploring the wonder and brilliance of our manifest selves, culminating in the realization of the manifest Self, orAtman, in the state of Turiya, can be a dangerous and dead-end path.

To me, without the wetness of the love, devotion, bliss, and surrender of Turiya, the way to the Absolute can be so dry and barren that depression and loss of motivation to continue can leave one hanging in a barren Void.

Zen avoids the tragedy of Advaita going awry by emphasizing the immediacy of present experience as much as Emptiness and the Void and placing little value on just witnessing once you have discovered the intertwined identity of experiential forms and emptiness.

Unfortunately, Zen has its own dryness because it does not value human emotions, love, devotion, and the experience of bliss, that is, experience of the Manifest Self, the Atman, as having any value except as just another appearance in Consciousness.  In fact, some Zen masters emphasize Emptiness more than the objects of Consciousness, such as our perceived bodies, or the dirt under foot, because Emptiness, by being relatively featureless, does not appear to change.

Indeed, Zen Master Sasaki directly told me to my face that there is no love in Zen. One can spend years reading Zen literature and find rarely any mention of love or emotions other than anger, anxiety, and confusion prior to enlightenment.  The emphasis of Zen is on the duality of form and emptiness, of life and death, and how they fold into each other.

My way has transformed into a method of loving the I Am, finding and immersing in it, allowing it to grow into a powerful sense of energetic presence, along with reading the Nisargadatta Gita and my own Hunting the I, as meditation manuals.  I also emphasize loving others in the world, which can start as a result of a powerful erotic love, or even a deep love and bonding with an animal.  Along with this I emphasize listening to sacred Eastern music and chanting which also energizes one’s sense of presence and can lead to feelings of deep love and of bliss.  Then I emphasize coming to Satsang and feeling the energies and bliss that circulate among us all for the hour and a half it lasts. 

In this way we begin to awaken the Shakti in us in a far more natural way, less effort-full, and more attractive because of the felt energies, bliss, and the infusion of our emotional selves as we become more aware of feelings long repressed or dried up. 

One also learns the key lesson, that just as emptiness underlies all forms, bliss underlies the emotional body level, and, when strong emotions arise, if we can accept them and allow them to permeate our hearts letting them be us for a while, we then come out on the other side to find a deep river of bliss.  One gets fastest to that bliss through the emotions of love and grief or loss; both emotions arise out of a very deep part of who we are as opposed to many other emotions that are more situational and less relational in origin.

The intent is to become so alive to our human existence, to love it and all that arises during immersion into the I Am sensation, to finally a realization of the divine in us as the Manifest Self, Turiya, or the Atman.

Later, if you so choose, you can go further to the realization of the Absolute Witness, the Unmanifest Self, but even then you will still have access to an alive Manifest Self for balance and wetness.

06 September 2014

Thank you Deeya and Charley

Deeya at Robert's Condo--Woodland Hills
Deeya and Charlie have taught me a deeper meaning of service.  It is living in grace and humility. It is living deeper into the Self of All.

I used to wonder and even question Deeya’s emphasis on service to others, whether hospice work and healing both as she did, or caretaking for a friend or relative, or giving a homeless woman a meal, or providing medical care for children in India.  Others even questioned her motives saying a life of service like she provided was just to make herself feel better by knowing she was better off than those she served.  This, of course, was the most cynical comment.

Deeya during her hospice work was always given or just took the role of being the caretaker who spent the last hours and seconds with a dying patient.  She would be holding their hand and looking deep into their eyes as they passed out of this realm into the Emptiness and beyond.  She would feel their Life Force come into her and then pass through.  No one else would accept this role except she.  No one else had the courage or heart.

But Charley is teaching me that deeper meaning of service through direct experience.  Providing hospice care for Charley, watching him bond in love and dependence ever more closely with Kerima and me, caused me to want to devote myself ever more deeply to this brave and hearty lover who just did not want to quit life or stop loving.

Washing him because he cannot preen himself becomes an anointing. Waking in the morning finding his slim body resting against mine brings a deep happiness.  Awareness of the ebbing and flowing of his energies causes a spectrum of emotions to play through my heart, body, and especially my legs and feet as an electric tingling.

Resting in the Void next to him while lying in my recliner, I reach out to find his presence and try to give him that same ease of being.

Every moment he is awake he watches me.  If resting, he raises his head to see if I am looking at him or going somewhere.  If going, he follows me.  Such love we have; two sentient beings entwined in deeper awareness of Self, an awareness so deep it feels like a pool of Pure Life Force, utterly clean and uncontaminated.

Charley and Deeya I thank you from the bottom of my being for showing me the way to such amazing grace: a life of grace by living in service to others.

05 September 2014

Learning how to meditate

You cannot learn how to meditate quickly. It is not possible.  It is a skill which requires watching how YOUR mind acts and reacts to thoughts, memories, images, emptiness, distractions, boredom, and all sorts of external diversions and distractions.

Face it.  For 20, 30, or 40 years your minds have concentrated on external things, like food, shelter, mom, pop, girlfriend, boyfriend, job, or education.  Even then you usually multitasked, doing a chore automatically while thinking of other things.  All this was done in order to obtain some degree of security and knowledge of yourself in action and the world.

In meditation, you turn inwards, where before, whenever you did this, you would only find nothing, darkness, or emptiness.
In fact, the inner world is at least as rich experientially as the external world, but will lead to states of bliss, love, self-acceptance, and self-confidence that you never dreamed of before the age of 30.

There are so many realms to explore inside yourself: the Void; the inner light of Consciousness; subtle body energies; discovering the witness who watches the mind and body; the Self, which is the union of the divine energies within your human existence; and transitional states as you cycle through sleep, dream, and waking states.

What you are learning is the structure and spectrum of your Consciousness with the ultimate end of knowing who and what you are versus who and what the world is and how to function in the world.
You will learn how to identify (or “be”) with the Void, the empty mental space that contains all inner experiences.  This is where you learn that all forms are pervaded by emptiness, and all emptiness is filled with changing forms, allowing you to identify either with the unchanging emptiness (Emptiness is not really unchanging; it is the dynamic origin of everything; it is where the manifest universe touches the UnManifest Godhead.

You will be able to be aware, without being aware of any thing, including emptiness.  You will acquire an ability to see internal energies as living streams of color having different forms.  You will be able to energize your body and psyche, and also let go of existence in order to experience peaceful non-existence.

You may, if you want, gain psychic powers, see auras, become telepathic, do healing of your physical problems and of others’ problems.

You will be able to enage with any spiritual teacher on Facebook or elsewhere, and tell them where they are wrong (JOKE!)
But the absolute keys to success are these:

1 .This is not a sprint, it is a marathon.  Actually, it is a life-long undertaking.  There are continually new deepenings and understandings, as well as the dropping away of the old.  Just as it takes years to master golf, or chess, or gymnastics, so it takes years to discover and master your inner world. Patience is the key.

2.    It takes persistence in terms of regularity of practice and effort.  Do it the same times each day and at least for 25 minutes each time.

3.    Focus on one type of meditation to the exclusion of all else for a long time before changing the method.  It is better to drill one deep hole rather than many shallow wells.

4.    Never drive yourself too hard to attain anything, such as self-realization.  You meditate in order to understand and become that who you are on all levels, and if you struggle to attain some particular understanding or state, you are trying to become someone else’s realization and understanding that you read or heard about.

5.    I recommend one method which is to download Hunting the I and The Nisargadatta Gita from my website http://wearesentience.com.  Use the Gita as a meditation manual on the I Am sensation.  Read a paragraph or two before each meditation.  Ponder the meaning, then meditate for 25 minutes “looking” for the I am sensation.  When you find it, dwell there, love it, and it will grow into a marvelous sense of presence.

6.    There are two ways to explore your inner world: my looking with your inner “eye,” and by exploring your insides by feeling your insides, with a kinesthetic sense of being and touch, and emotionally, through love, acceptance, and identification with all that arises during the meditation process.

7.    Start by feeling for the I Am sensation either in your head or in the Third Eye area behind your physical eyes. The Third Eye meditation usually results in seeing a light that begins to expand.  Sometimes you might feel energies there or even bliss.  If it is first discovered in the thorax, it will likely be like a trickle of electrical energy, which you can focus on.  Love it. Accept it, identify with it and it will grow to eventually pervade all of your Consciousness.


8.    Come to online Satsangs on Sundays, at 2PM California time by going to satsangwithedji.weebly.com, and sign in with the password “edji” whenever asked for a password.  Then share the circulating Shakti energies.
There is something utterly transforming of me and Kerima as a result of Charley’s struggle to remain alive with terminal cancer.  Charley has essentially been starving to death over the past 6 weeks or so due to a large, inoperable tumor in his head that has cost him his left eye, and increasingly his sense of smell.

All three of us are locked in this struggle together, trying to determine when to take him to the vet to die.


We have made seven appointments over the past 4 weeks and cancelled them all because Charley will not allow it.  He is alert, very loving, very affectionate and stays close to us every moment.  We are bonded on a much deeper level now.  It is no longer two humans and a cat; it is about three sentient beings that share a common goal of either curing Charley or knowing when to end his suffering.

We are so close now.  Charley watches both of us whatever move we make, just as we watch him, and attend to his needs.  It is so very humbling.  One day to be thinking about helping all life through spiritual teachings, helping many others through their re-acquaintance with emotions and the Self, then to narrow down to saving one small life—one very precious life.

All other desires have left.  Kerima and I are Charley’s caretakers, mother and father.  I no longer care whether these new teachings of transcendental AND incarnational spirituality through love and loving exploration of the I Am ever catch on.  All three of us focus on one being, one life.

This does not mean I care for my students less.  In fact, I care more, because I have learned to bond with a deeper part of myself.  I am not so much interested in all the Subtle Body energies or alternative realities for the sake of exploration, but only if they can help me help others.  What is the use of the firey energies and Kundalini movements if only for my own pleasure and bliss?  What good are all of these personal extraordinary sensual and ecstatic experiences unless they can be used to help others?
Charley continues to eat.  Again 4 bottles of baby food.   Will there be more positive changes or is this a flash in the pan? Please send your healing energies and prayers.

04 September 2014

Charley Amazes Again

I really do not know what to make of Charley.  We have waited day by day for signs we should have him put to sleep.  Watching him starve for three weeks has been very difficult, as he only drank juices: a little milk, loved salmon juice, and the juices from certain kinds of canned cat food.  But he had eaten nothing solid for over three weeks.  It appeared the tumor was so large that his tongue would not take in any solid food, even baby food.

Then yesterday I tried baby food again.  He had not eaten any for more than three weeks because it caused massive bleeding from the tumor in his mouth.

But yesterday after I gave him Beachnut Chicken and water baby food, he began to wolf it down.  By the time we went to bed last night he had eaten almost 4 bottles of baby food! Four bottles for a total of 280 calories.  This is enough to begin to put on weight again.  There was minimal bleeding.

I have got to say that Charley's well-being has been at the center of my attention, healing work, and silent prayers for over two months now. Many, many, people are sending healing energies and prayers.

A Question About Ego

Dear Sri Edji,    I have been reading your book which directed me to Langford's book. You both kicked my butt.

Is the following true?

Basically everything I do is to avoid loving and feeling the 'I AM'. Thus saying that most everything I do, think and say is the Ego.

So the Ego takes over when I:
Turn on the computer
Post on the computer
Turn on the TV
Engage in Spiritual Discussion
Think about sex
Engage in sex
Read the newspaper
Just 99 percent of my activities, thoughts and actions are just pure EGO.

This is such a alarming awakening.    I Really want Self Realization as much as I want to breathe. I Want Nothing Else.   I spend up to 10-15 hours a day in meditation and waste the rest doing and thinking.
Nisargadatta said the spent the whole day thinking of the 'I AM'.   I thought he was just exaggerating but I realized he was telling the truth.

If this makes any sense to you let me know and I am going the way of Nisargadatta and our Lineage.
I Must , Must , Must have Self Realization and Nothing is going to get in the way.

Love you , S.


Ed’s Response:

S., I see you intellectually wandering.  A week ago you asked me abut the truth of Ramanaji.  Now you are reading Langford setting off your mind again.

There is no such thing as ego.  There is nothing in you that that word points too.  You have distractions based on a lifetime of living, but no ego. Habit! Not ego.  There is no entity to fight or kill, just patterns of behavior.

Do not pursue the I Am with the intent of release, awakening, or enlightenment.  Do it because you love the I Am feeling and your own sense of presence, and the energies of your body, otherwise your goal orientation distracts from the raw experience of loving the I-Am. Then the intensity of the love you feel will triumph over all habits and distractions.  Relax.  Go slow, gently, and lovingly into the I Am sense, love, and the blissful energies of Self.