16 January 2017

Bentinho Massaro Revisited

BENTINHO MASSARO

I think I may have been wrong about Bentinho.  I watched some of his recent vidoes on his Internet university and his discussion of first basking in the glory of one's sense or presence, the life force, but how it becomes cloying and heavy, and hard to sustain, and then one drops consciousness and becomes aware of that which is entirely beyond Consciousness is my own experience.

Previously I was just aware of his boastfullness and teaching of using one's being in a way to actualize what you want, and saw that as just another teacher trading in on peoples' desire to become happy through actualizing and attaining, rather than seeking self-realization.

I will have to go back and watch his entire series on the Absolute to be certain I was wrong and to re-evaluate him in a new way.










PERSONALITY MUST DIE--NOT!!!


There is an pervasive concept that the personality must die either immediately before awakening or as a result of it.  This is not true.  What happens is that the personality becomes "hollowed"; it is pervaded by emptiness and becomes like a hologram that you can see through its form.  You, the witness, sees through your personality, and can choose to let it be in your life, or just hold it in silence.

So many teachers say the personality must die, but if you watch them, listen to them, follow them, you will find them filled with pettiness, vanity, giving themselves high rankings, or being rather thin skinned and defensive about their attainment or their teachings.

Robert was an amiable sociopath, always hiding motives and actions, manipulating people in the background, and he was the most profoundly entrenched in Nothingness than any other human I have ever met. 

The personality is just mind and the interplay of mind and one's own sense of presence, of existence.  Like the mind and the sense of presence, it can be watched, or allowed to function in this or that body.

RESONATE---NOT!!



As a bit of advice for seekers, as a general rule, don't go to a teacher whose words "resonate" with you.  The feelings of acceptance or clearer understanding that you feel, maybe of being understood, only means you are comfortable with that person's teachings.  This means you already understood this level of spiritual teachings, but the teacher's words confirm and clarify what you had merely felt before.

This kind of teacher and these teachings basically reinforce where you already are and make you comfortable there.

Instead, go to a teacher whose words you don't understand, and whose words may leave you stunned because what he or she says is so astounding, and his or her personality may be the the one that you find most uncomfortable, for this will challenge everything about who and where you are.

From Bliss to Peace

https://youtu.be/D1zp8x5DAk4

From Bliss to Peace

Satsang, January 15, 2017


15 January 2017


SATSANG SUNDAY JANUARY 15, 2017.  THIS IS PURE Q&A.  Go to:

http://satsangwithedji.weebly.com

password is    edji

31 December 2016

SATSANG ON SUNDAYS; 12:   NOON, ARIZONA TIME, JAN 1, 2007

HTTP://SATSANGWITHEDJI.WEEBLY.COM
12:00 noon Arizona time Jan 1, 2017


PASSWORD:  edji

21 December 2016

CAT CARETAKER MARIE SCHUCKLES--DEAD!



Marie Schuckles, my companion in cat colony management in Northridge, has died after her long struggle with cervical cancer at age 70.  She died in great pain.  Even morphine did not make it bearable. 

Marie had a hard life the last ten years.  After her mother died, their home was sold to cover the mother’s debts.  Marie moved in with her sister P., who really didn’t want her there, and she slept in the living room, on a couch, without any privacy.  P. did not even turn on the air conditioning o heat at night for Marie in the living room downstairs.  Her other sister, N., finally convinced Marie to get rid of all her storage belongings, giving them to her newly found, adopted out son, and with that money she got her own apartment, and for the last three months of her life she was happy.

I just found out that she died ten days ago, and have been trying to locate the three people she turned her cat caretaking efforts over to.

They are:

Valerie

Maria 

And Marilyn



Michael feeding my street cats  in 2013
Valerie is 86 and has been managing feral cat colonies for over 45 years.  She now has at least 100 cats she is feeding, getting spayed/neutered, and placing in homes.

So far, I have not located the person that is taking care of the 27 cats I was caring for, near California State University in Northridge, and I am hoping it is Marilyn, who herself contracted cancer about 8 years ago, and so far has beaten her cancer.  She too was taking care of many cats, rescuing even more and placing them in homes.  I have two of her street cats, Radha and Sitta.

Look, I hold weekly satsangs, write books, and post about Advaita teachings, Robert Adams, and ways of experiencing  various kinds of self-realization, as well advising many hundreds of people via email, mail, and phone calls regarding spiritual practice.  I have had many people that have come and stayed with me for weeks at a time, and I have really asked for nothing.

But I am asking all of you who care for my efforts, and who
One of five stops where I fed cats
manifest love and compassion, to donate money to these three women who feed many hundreds of cats, have them spayed and neutered, rescue them, and place them in homes.

I want you to send them money.   I ask you to call them, talk to them, learn all they do, and ask how you can help.
Please do this for me.
-----------

Valerie  Stark (818) 900-3548

20032 Vintage St.  Chatsworth, CA 91311

When I last talked to Valerie two days ago, she was about to go out feeding her ferals, saying the winds were freezing cold and 70 mph!  We all worry about our feral friends outdoors.
-----------------

Maria  Jacquec (818) 826 0299 

19037 Bryant St. #4,  Northridge, Ca 91324

Marilyn XXXX  

I am trying to locate her now.  In the meantime, please send the money to me which I will give her for caring for my cats.  If I cannot locate her, I will give the money to Valerie or Maria.

Ed Muzika  edwardmuzika@gmail.com 
19017 North Welk Dr. Sun City, Arizona  85373

If my teachings and satsang are valuable to you, please do this as part of your sadhana, your path, your devotion.
PS;  I have been donating money directly to Marie Schuckles for the past two years that I have been here, and will continue as I can.





19 December 2016



SPECIAL CHRISTMAS SATSANG AT 10:30 A.M. SUNDAY 12/25
When I started this new round of Satsangs a month ago, that first Satsang was tentative, because that inner voice that had previously used me to speak for that which is beyond this Ed Muzika body and mind was starting anew, has now grown more powerful and more emotionally eloquent.
When we have Satsang, make no mistake, it is not me talking to you, but consciousness itself to your consciousness.  Also, deep within me, that which is beyond consciousness is also speaking to you who are also beyond consciousness, that who knows the coming and going of consciousness, and is itself untouched by consciousness.
For this reason, I want to hold a special Satsang this Sunday on Christmas, at 10:30 A.M. Arizona time, 12:30 P.M. Eastern Standard time, 5:30 P.M. U.K. time.

That day I will speak about the approach of love, of Bhakti, to the awakening of the Divine Self within, the spirit, Shakti, wherein the Self becomes aware of itself as consciousness and Shakti only, above and beyond the which are their vessel.

Go to http://satsangwithedji.weebly.com, and use the password   edji   whenever asked for a password.  Come early and listen to the chanting at the bottom of the page, especially the ALL NEW KUNDALINI CHANTS.













































09 December 2016


DONALD TRUMP PROMISED TO DRAIN THE SWAMP OF LOBBYISTS FRONTING FOR CORPORATE BILLIONAIRES AND THE MILITARY.

HE IS REPLACING THE LOBBYISTS DIRECTLY WITH THE BILLIONAIRES AND GENERALS THEY HAD REPRESENTED, NO LONGER NEEDING THE LOBBYISTS.

HE ATTACKED HILLARY FOR PAID TALKS TO GOLDMAN, AND HAS NOW ADDED THREE GOLDMAN EXECUTIVES TO THE TOP OF HIS ADMINISTRATION.

AND, TRUMP IS ATTACKING THE MEDIA FOR EXPOSING HIS CONFLICTS OF INTEREST AND DESTROYING ANY ACCOUNTABLILITY FOR WHAT HE IS ABOUT TO DO TO OUR COUNTRY THROUGH A TRUMP-CORPORATE/MILITARY TAKEOVER.

MEANWHILE, OBAMA IS DEMANDING AN INVESTIGATION OF RUSSIAN ELECTION HACKING--ABOUT FOUR MONTHS LATE. HE SEES THE DISASTER OF A TRUMP AMERICA UNFOLDING, BUT HE IS A WHIMP AS ALWAYS WHEN IT COMES TO WALL STREET TAKEOVERS, MAINLY BECAUSE HE HAD PLANNED TO BE THE CHIEF POST OBAMA BENEFICIARY OF HIS PRO-WALL STREET STANCE OF EIGHT YEARS.


05 December 2016

LISTENING TO THAT SPIRITUAL TEACHER

What is he saying, really?

Is he using experiential words relevant or potentially relevant to my life, or is he using abstract, philosophical words?


Jidda Krishnamurti and U.G. Krishnamurti emphasize the hopelessness of believing and following teachers who have little or no actual spiritual experience in terms of understanding themselves, and merely parrot Ramana or some other teacher, although Ramana is the teacher most frequently parroted.

You also need to be clear about what you are looking for.

Are trying to find someone who understands and can explain certain spiritual experiences you have had?  This is absolutely the wrong reason to seek out a teacher.

Drop that search immediately because it is not relevant to your present experiencing.  Past experience is gone, a memory that should not be allowed to haunt you.

You see, that experience has not stayed with you.  Where you are now is most important, and what you have to do is carefully explore your present experience, especially your inner experience, and see if there are any invariants, any inner experience that does not change.

Such would be the experience of a vast inner space, emptiness, which is the mainstay of Buddhism.  Do you know emptiness, both inner and outer?

Do you experience the Lifeforce within as a formless entity empowering and acting through you?  Are you aware that all that you know and all that you experience about yourself and the world is experienced through the medium of YOUR consciousness, and all that you really ever know is consciousness?

Are you able to watch big emotions, such as sadness, grief, love, jealousy, anger, etc., without fearing them?  Can you accept and totally coexist with even the strongest emotion?  Is this what you are seeking to do, to expose hidden emotions and reabsorb them into your sense of self?

Have you located the I sense within, or the I Am somewhere in your chest, gut, or head?  Can you focus on it, stay with it, and bring it into your heart?

Do you want to experience the bliss of having a close relationship with the Lifeforce, AKA Shakti?  Do you see how Shakti depends on consciousness to be part of your experience, and without consciousness--your consciousness--there is no experience of Shakti and no bliss?

Are you aware of your own sense of presence, that you exist as a presence in  the world, and this presence permeates and penetrates your body and mind and extends like an energy field into the space around you?

Are you aware of an inner, formless, "entity" that is aware of consciousness, and which can watch the coming and going of your waking state, dream state, and sleep without itself being touched?  Are you aware of all the movements of consciousness and the mind that flows when you first awaken, including the coming and going of consciousness, and the simultaneous presence of the witnessing of these changes within.

It is this kind of direct, experiential knowledge and experience which you should be looking for in a teacher, not someone who speaks abstractly about enlightenment or awakening, Nirvana or Brahman, Jiva or Atman, without carefully explaining these experiences.

04 December 2016

          SATSANG

SUNDAYS DECEMBER—NOON  ARIZONA TIME

THIS IS 2 PM EASTERN STANDARD TIME; 7PM UNITED KINGDOM; 8PM GERMANY; 6AM MONDAY, MELBOURNE

Topics of course will be about Robert Adams’ and Nisargadatta’s teachings, self-inquiry, what is the self, what is consciousness? Perceiving energy/bliss.

Sign in a few minutes ahead of time, and listen to chanting found at bottom of page, especially Krishna Das chants.


Password   “edji”  will be required on two different screens.

Then INVENT a guest sign in name

Go to top of video box and mute your microphone until you ask questions.

TRY THIS A DAY AHEAD OF TIME TO PRACTICE GETTING IN AND LISTENING TO CHANTS.

THIS WILL BE A 10 WEEK EXPERIMENT TO SEE IF PEOPLE COME.

03 December 2016

STEVE ECKERT NOW WALKING IN THE FOOTHILLS OF GREAT ENLGHTENMENT

TO ME FROM STEVE:


Sri Edji, I bow to you Master and thank you for calling me !

This AM when meditating, the personality was gone and I was Consciousness-very blissful.



Then out of nowhere...............you know how it is when your busy with something and all of a sudden you know something is Watching you.


Well I am the I am and shit all of a sudden something is watching this whole thing happen.


In my imagination my head turned slightly to the right only to see a window with a light for the background but nothing there. And I knew I and Consciousness was being observed.
Nothing like this has ever happened before but I realized that is behind the window ............. before birth, timeless, space less and emptiness. This is my true home.

26 November 2016


I wish I had the words, the capacity to inspire others to pursue an inner search, an inner way of being, of discovery of all that lies within.  It is a fantastic voyage of profound satisfaction, discovering who and what you are.

The levels of consciousness are endless.  We seek and explore each level.  Waking mind, the subtle energy body, the workings of Shakti, the falling of the mind into the heart, the absorption of consciousness into consciousness, with the peace and freedom it brings.

I wish I could teach an easy and rapid way, but my own way was long, meandering, confused and confusing because I just drifted from teacher to teacher, having lost my own original way of self-inquiry which produced fantastic results in a very short period of time, and got diverted into Zen and then Siddha Yoga for a long period before returning home to the three greats, Robert, Nisargadatta, and Ramana.

But like Odysseus, because my journey was long, I see and feel what each method offers, but that ultimately, you have to find the deepest self within, the witness of all through self-inquiry.

The world is such a mess, and so is the spiritual marketplace.  How to find truth?  Look within for the I-thought, then the I-sense.  Feel for the I-sensation in yor chest, the heart of your being, the heart of your heart, the place to which the Kundalini returns, and with it, the loosening of your attachment to your body, which allows you to become universal, everywhere, everything.

I give you my love.  I give you all my blessing.

25 November 2016

WHEN BUDDHA AWAKENED

When Buddha opened his eyes and saw the Morning Star, he uttered the most famous quote in Buddhism. What he reportedly said has a number of variants, but the most literal is, “From the earth below to the sky above, I am the only one.”

Buddha realized that everything from the external world, to his thoughts, feelings, and body were only known through his consciousness. His body and the world were just appearances in his consciousness.

I don’t understand why many readers have not understood this sentence and take it to be a denial of the existence of the external world. It is not. The existence or not of the external world is irrelevant.

It is realizing that the world is only known through YOUR consciousness. For all intents and purposes, it may or may not exist independently of your body, but your consciousness contains all your knowledge, your mind, your experiences, as well as the sense that you exist, the sense that you are. But this sense that you are has generally been identified with the body. The body is the source of consciousness that reveals the external world. But Buddha realized that all that he ever knew was really about himself, and he no longer identified as a localized body, but he identified with the entirety of his experience. He was one with everything, not just the body.

This understanding is twofold. Many people experience in meditation unity consciousness where the body appears to disappear and one feels like one has become the entire visible universe. These experiences open you to the possibility that you are more than just the body.
In this experience ‘you’ are no longer Fred, Ted, Sam, or Linda, ‘you’ experience yourself as everything that you see, hear, smell and touch. There is no longer any separation between you and the world. The totality of you as body mind, has become one with your experience of the external world.

You also realize that the forms of the world, like clouds, are constantly changing and impermanent. Even a mountain changes in appearance as you walk or ride around it, but in a sense, that mountain is always you, for it alone is your mountain, not Fred's, Ed,s, or Ted's. It is an appearance in your awareness; it is in your consciousness as a temporary experience, just as is your body.

With this experience you become free. There is no longer anything to be attained, anywhere to go, because each moment you are complete, at rest as self.

Of course your body continues to function using your mind to attend to day to day affairs, but you know deep down inside that all that you know is your own consciousness, and it contains everything.


Robert Adams said, “I see the world like you do, but I know that you are consciousness. You do not know that you are consciousness; you think you are a very limited body.”
The second most common first sentence the Buddha made was, “From the earth below to the sky above, I am the world honored one.”

This reflects two “facts.” One is that early Buddhism was heavily slanted to worshiping and idolizing the Buddha as someone very beyond you and me, and therefore, it is a mistake. Buddha's consciousness was the same as yours, but the understanding is different.

The second way this phrase may be understood is that with this experience, one obtains a new sense of wonder and a deep sense of gratitude, and peace. It is a different sort of existence than you have now where you imagine yourself to be a limited human. You have stepped beyond the limits of being human to becoming unlimited, and with it, the world becomes totally benevolent. It is not separate from you, as it does not exist without you, and in a sense it serves you, not the limited human you, but you as the manifest totality of your consciousness.

Everyone and everything is a guest in you, and you are the ultimate host, the owner of your consciousness. The knot in your heart that is the ego identity with your body, has opened, and you dwell resting in the totality.

23 November 2016

THIS SHOW IS ALL ABOUT YOU


      Everything you see, hear, touch, hear, including the advice of all your teachers, parents, gurus and God, takes place within your consciousness. Even knowing—if you could—what is in another’s consciousness, is a knowing in your consciousness.  All this around you and in you is contained in YOUR consciousness.

      We have created the concept of a shared consciousness, a shared world between multiple sentience entities, but even this concept is within my mind which is watched by my awareness of my sense faculties as well as my inner senses of presence, mind, and the knowledge that I live.

Think about that.  It is all in you, the beginning and end of mankind, the birth and death of our world; all are hearsay evidence in the concepts that make up your empirical knowledge, all of which arises when you awake in the morning, and is forgotten when you sleep in the evening.

Lights on; lights off; lights on; lights off—again and again until the final lights off.

You can hear about atoms, quasars, string theory, God, guru lineages, but all are knowledge in you. 

You are the measure of all things. You are the beginning and end of all you suffering and self-imprisonment.  You are your own freedom too, by ending all the false, learned, second-hand hearsay knowledge that just is about this transcient world, body, and mind.

Knowing this is the first step to freedom: separating your identity from your body to that of identifying with consciousness, and then the totality of consciousness that you experience.

This is what Robert meant when he said, “You created me to awaken you,” and “The world and your body are not real; they are only appearances in consciousness’—your consciousness.

Think on this over and over.

22 November 2016


     Your knowing contains everything.  Without knowingness, there is nothing.  Your knowledge that you are, your consciousness, is a container of all visible forms.  Your whole world is in it.

     In deep sleep you are not aware of the body.  Identification with the body appears after waking.  The world takes birth in your consciousness.  All the great teachers of the past, all incarnations, Krishna, Jesus, Ramana, and Robert Adams, all had the same consciousness as you have now.

     In addition, you were never born.  That you were born is strictly hearsay.  You have seen others born, but not yourself.  You were told that you were born, were given a name, and developed over the years until the beginning of your first memory, whatever that was, which is the beginning of your existence as self-conscious consciousness.  Before that memory, you are not self-aware.  You held no concepts and reacted as taught.  Birth takes place when there is awareness of existence, when there is the knowledge I am.  Self-awareness is really the first knowing that you are as an entity, as a form with which you identify, but actually you are formless, knowledge only.

     Distant stars and planets invisible to the eyes, are made visible by a telescope.  Your consciousness is like that telescope because of wage many things become visible.  Consciousness is your instrument by which you become aware of external forms and internal processes such as thought, imaging, emotions, joy and pain.  Without Your Consciousness, Nothing exists!

     Observation is the quality of consciousness but not of the observer.  Witnessing of the consciousness occurs to the observer.  Consciousness contains everything, but witnessing of all that happens to the observer.

     As Nisargadatta said, “Although I am talking to pure consciousness, the birth principal, the listeners identify themselves as men and women.  Hence, misunderstanding and confusion.”  That is, the sense of ‘I-Am’ identifies with the form of the body, and the great confusion of human existence begins for each of us.  Spirituality is a process of deconstruction and dis-identification with objects in the world as well as the body, and re-identification with the totality of the appearance of the world, the visible manifestation of the universe.  Within that identification with the totality of the manifest universe lies recognition of the observer who lies entirely outside of that manifestation, and in this finds total freedom.

20 November 2016


THE PRACTICE WHICH EDJI SHARED WITH ME A FEW YEARS AGO... since it came up in Satsang today via the chat window.


Edward Muzika taught me this practice when I visited him a few years ago.



(Spoiler alert: It's nothing different from what he usually teaches in general terms. However, it is the "gift that keeps on giving," and I do it every day.)



a) Sit in meditation posture (straight back, eyes semi-closed, in a chair or semi-lotus or whatever posture you can manage. Actually, I prefer to close my eyes all the way.)


b) Observe the sensations around you--sounds in the room, feelings of your clothes on your skin, smells, breezes, etc.


c) Observe the sensations inside you--heartbeat, breathing, sounds of stomach, etc.


d) Feel your sense of being a person--of being present--the conviction that you exist. ("I am.") Locate it in your body.


e) Move your presence into that feeling. Watch it, be in it.


f) Follow that presence down to where it started... let your awareness sink down
that path. (Same as recommended by Nisargadatta, Ramana and Robert.)


g) Remain present in whatever comes up.



My own notes on this practice:



1. On days when I've had a good sleep and some caffeine, if I do this practice earlier in the day I don't sink down quite as far, and remain aware of mental chatter, images, emotions, ideas, and tracers of all sorts of fleeting images and sounds like a TV or radio scanning through the stations. But the usual sense of "me" is not there. I am just the awareness of these things. (These sessions can go really long... from 45-60 min.) And often I do drop down further after a while of this.



2. On days when I practice at the end of the day and didn't get enough sleep, the practice starts and I pop out when I'm nodding off into sleep (could be as short as 5-10 minutes.)



3. Every time I do this the initial phase of closing eyes, observing sensations and so on lasts maybe 1 minute. Then there is a feeling of pleasure and relief as the consciousness sinks down toward Ramana's "heart center" on the right side of the chest (could be different for different people, I suppose. Edji was recommending sinking to the "hara" or Japanese gut center of Zen, but I didn't get much out of trying it this way.)



4. After sinking down to the heart center which seems to be made of light and love and entering it, there is nothing. No impressions, no sounds, no images, no feelings, no consciousness, no me, no world, no bliss. It follows what Edji describes--seems to be the absolute ground of consciousness. I set a timer of 30 minutes for these sessions, but usually, if I've had a reasonable amount of sleep but had a full day, I'll pop out just before the timer goes off. The feeling of time completely evaporates between entering the heart center and popping out again. As I re-emerge I have no idea who I am, where I am, or what time of day it is. Then as Edji described in waking after sleep, the memories of who I am and where I am, what time of day it is etc. emerge as if I was awaking from a very deep sleep. But I know I haven't been asleep--something somehow has been measuring this whole process, and knows I'm back awake as an individual again.



5. After this I feel calm, relieved, tired, and reassured on a basic level that all the anxieties of the waking world and daily struggle to survive, provide for my loved ones, maintain health, job, art, chores, etc. are relative. It is also obvious that simply existing, being part of God's expression in the field of consciousness, is laudable and worthwhile... it's quite different from my usual feeling that I have to justify my existence by doing something. After a few years of practicing this way, subtle sensitivities develop more and more, but they're hard to describe because they're, well... subtle. However, I could say that I'm more aware of the fleeting nature of consciousness, more aware of what other people are thinking and how they are feeling, what their anxieties and beliefs about the world are, and I trust my own gut more and more. Finally, the gratitude to God that Edji mentioned is there, but I won't talk about it too much. It's best to experience this directly.



THANKS Edji!!!!



I hope that was helpful! Thanks for asking, Angela. Cheers, Max T. Powers, Enrique Umana, Andrew Hargrove, Syndria Mecham, Dinesh, Arvydas, Sergey, Keith, Michael Kujawa and please forgive me if I've left anyone out but I look forward to our continued conversations!



Matthew Brown, Toronto


November 20, 2016

19 November 2016

      SATSANG AGAIN!

SUNDAY NOVEMBER 20, NOON—ARIZONA TIME

THIS IS 2 PM EASTERN STANDARD TIME; 7PM UNITED KINGDOM; 8PM GERMANY; 6AM MONDAY, MELBOURNE


After a year and a half off, Satsang started again November and every Sunday 13this at noon, Arizona time.

Topics of course will be about Robert Adams’ and Nisargadatta’s teachings, self-inquiry, what is the self, what is consciousness? Perceiving energy/bliss.

Sign in a few minutes ahead of time, and listen to chanting found at bottom of page, especially Krishna Das chants.


Password   “edji”  will be required on two different screens.

Then INVENT a guest sign in name

Go to top of video box and mute your microphone until you ask questions.

TRY THIS A DAY AHEAD OF TIME TO PRACTICE GETTING IN AND LISTENING TO CHANTS.

THIS WILL BE A 10 WEEK EXPERIMENT TO SEE IF PEOPLE COME.

17 November 2016


I AM RETHINKING HOW AND WHAT TO TEACH

I have to rethink my teaching methods and style. I often forget that my spiritual life began at age 11, some 63 years ago. I was initiated into Kriya Yoga via the Self-Realization Fellowship at 14, and spent a number of years as an academic trying to figure out what to do with my life.

My formal, institutional meditation life began in 1968 studying with Phillip Kapleau in Rochester New York for two years, quickly followed by a winter at Mt. Baldy Zen Center.  I then moved to the International Buddhist Meditation Center where I studied with five different Zen masters: Thich Tien-An; Maezumi Roshi; Kozan Roshi; Seung Sahn Soen Sa; and Song Ryong Hearn. 

After that I was with Muktananda and his monks, including my friend Shankarananda, Dhyanyogi, and finally Robert Adams and Jean Dunne.

I have had tens of thousands of meditation experiences, been in close associations with dozens of masters over six decades, and had many massive and small awakenings over those years.
But I realize now, as a teacher, I have had a wrong attitude.  I have always tried to convey final teachings without taking students through the baby steps necessary to realize the deeper truths.

For example, even before I went to the Rochester Zen Cener, I had already opened my “Third Eye” to the inner light of consciousness, which revealed an inner world of emptiness.  This took less than a year to accomplish, by looking within my head to find an inner light, then gradually expand it downwards into my body and upwards into the space above.

Then I spent a year or two, either before or after this emptiness phase (So long ago I don’t remember which came first.), struggling with the rising of Kundalini energy in my spine, that felt like a six inch long pointed pencil arising through my spine.  It kept getting stuck at the heart chakra level, and gradually, and very painfully penetrated that level, rising to the top of my skull, drilling a hole there, then descending again into my face, throat, and disappearing into my heart and gut. With this phase were all sorts of energy phenomena described in my book, Self Realization and Other Awakenings.
Then, when I went to Mt. Baldy already aware of my inner emptiness, it was very easy to enter states of no minded oneness with the world, where I and the world were one, with no separation. Later, I was to realize this joyous, vivid reality I entered each meditation session, was called the Manifest Oneness of Nisargadatta, the Atman, the Manifest Self.

Later, with Robert, I entered that non-dual consciousness totally, in everyday life, with no centered self experience, and even saw the unreality of consciousness itself.  And a few weeks later, recognizing that ‘I’ was separate from all of consciousness, the manifest world and my body, all parts of consciousness.

Ten years later, after falling deeply in love with a woman, out of that inner emptiness arose a different sense of self altogether, and that was of an inner self of light, energy, love, devotion, and surrender, altogether as an experience of the life force within me manifesting through me.  Shakti, God, the divine, as bliss, light, and energy in me.  This was a new and different manifestation of the Manifest Self, at once totally divine and removed, but at the same time, the most powerfully personal manifestation of the sense of I Am.  I felt the reality of Muktananda’s book, “I Have Come Alive!” as a personal confession.  After that the energies and bliss manifested through me until they left, leaving me in increasing peace, and deeper experiences of consciousness disappearing into consciousness.

The trouble is, how does anyone convey the totality of 60 years of spirituality? 

Everyone is in a different place when they come to me.  Trying to convey everything at once is just overwhelming, confusing, and maybe a bit frightening.  I tend to mix it all together, various disparate experiences combined with differing levels of teachings.

How to convey all of this?
  I didn’t know.  I tried always to teach from what spontaneously arose within me to whomever was in front of me.  But this is a mistake.  Using this method, if I spoke to 100 people, perhaps I was reaching only one or three people.  The others had no idea of what I was talking about because maybe they didn’t know the inner light or the utter reality of emptiness, or perhaps they did not know self-inquiry, the life force, bliss, etc.

However, a few caught on immediately, like Rajiv Kapur and a few others.  But most just looked, listened, and then moved on overwhelmed by all the information and experiences thrown at them.

Satsangs that I have led were the same.  I spoke to many but only a few stayed.  I think people were utterly confused or overwhelmed by the sheer complexity of my teachings. The only thing that kept many around was the energetic phenomena that arose in many who attended Satsang. This is what attracts many people to teachers, but this is not the teaching or the end of teaching.
I think I have to teach in stages and not necessarily the stages I passed through.  It depends on what the student wants.  Do they want to know themselves? Do they want bliss?  Do they want to know the inner light and emptiness?  Do they want to know directly the life force within, inner energies, and bliss?  Do they want to learn how to heal using inner energies?  Or do they want self-realization without knowing what that means, and be willing tp listen, learn, and practice based just on trust and faith?

All of this knowledge fits together for me, but certainly will not for a beginner or someone curious about inner work and its potential. So how do I break up my teachings into steps, each with an outcome?  Some steps require previous steps or outcomes and some don’t.

In this approach, much more is required of the student.
  They must know what they want and be prepared to persist in their efforts to explore different aspects of their inner life, an endeavor that ultimately has no worldly usefulness, but only, ultimately to deliver self-realization at all levels and peace, complete relaxation.

And, I have to relax and not try to convey the entirety of 60 years experience all at once. I need to give small bites at a time.  Make sense?  But how to do this?

After 60 years I know that the Advaita teachings of Robert Adams, Nisargadatta, and Ramana are the core teachings that should never be ignored, and self-inquiry in its various forms from psychotherapy, so sitting in silence, to diving deep within to understand all level of consciousness and beyond, are all part of an open and wide path that will ultimately lead to self-realization.  But I know only a few, a small percentage of all seekers, are interested in this topic or are destined to finish their course within its arms.