14 October 2018

Satsang Video

If you had a soul or Self, how would you find it? Self-Inquiry? Loving yourself? Is the you looking or feeling for a self, the same or different from the self? Or is it the self that is looking the only self, and therefore unable to find itself as an object?

What did Ramana call the Self? What do I experience as my self?

Is there a self or a soul?

11 October 2018


Spirituality as endless movement, not of knowing, but of surrendering everything.  I speak of awakening experiences, insight experiences, Shakti, emptiness, Nothingness, the energy body, emotions, resolving emotions, sexuality, and re incarnating into your own body after having transcended it in ordinary spirituality.

07 October 2018

When all is said and done, no matter how advanced a teacher is, no matter how many powers he or she has, no matter how many practices or paths traversed, in the end, they are ordinary humans and they know it.  However, some grow arrogant because of acquired powers or having many students.  Then they are lost; arrogance blinds them to people.


Some really, really good teachers have some really odd behaviors or addictions.  Some are alcoholics, some use drugs, some have terrible tempers, some have a lot of sex with students, some drown in their own bathtub because of being an unconscious drunk.  They are teachers none the less because they are touched by the life force, whatever name we give it, such as the Holy Ghost, Shakti, or guru tattva.

With a guru it is not so much a matter of morality or purity at all, which are objects of obsession among lay persons and novice monks or many traditions.  It is a matter of God’s grace and the unique characteristics of an individual in the right place and the right time to do God’s will.

Lay people think in terms of purity, clarity, humility, one-pointedness, all of which are “good” spiritual qualities, but more often, one’s indvidual’s bad behavior or addiction, or other moral “weakness,” make one individual the man or woman for the job, but not the saint in the same town.

Thus, even the most extraordinary teacher is but an ordinary man or woman in the end, even if bearing the powers of a god.  This is the story of both the ordinariness of some great teachers I have known, and also their greatness. 

I also discuss what a student goes through after approaching a teacher, the relationship stages, the wearing away of projections and of uncertainty in the relationship and growing confidence in oneself.


Even the greatest teacher is still just a man or woman.

03 October 2018




30 September 2018

The Absolute Versus Shakti as Paths

One is not completely enlightened until they have realized both the Unmanifest and Manifest Self. Realizing the Manifest Self, the Life Force or God and one’s personal relationship to the divine, is called realization of the Manifest or Experiential Self. This path unfolds automatically after any great Shaktipat experience, but especially one where you realize the divine in you as “other.”

As I teach, this is a path either of residing in one’s experience of the I Am sensation (Nisargadatta’s notion of self-inquiry), or more passively, by falling deeply in love with another, a guru, Jesus, or something else to the extent of achieving total devotional love and absolute surrender of the last particle of self to another. There is no decision to surrender here, as the deepening devotional love unfolds automatically as a great surrender. This process is marked by visions, great love, unfolding energies within, bliss and ecstasies, culminating in various states of oneness, disappearances of self awareness, or becoming catatonic-like in complete absorption in God.

After this, there begins a downwards unfolding, which in the case above, is towards the increasing subtlety and decreasing intensity of the energies, gradually folding into emptiness, and that folding into nothingness.

The major problem with having the Absolute, the Unborn as the initial goal of a seeker, is that it takes so long and one can get lost or distracted. The energy path is shorter, and after Shaktipat awakening, it is mostly an automatic unfolding affected only by external events or stresses. It is also a more dramatic path with a lot more pleasure acting as a carrot.

26 September 2018

Guru or No Guru?

The people who are certain that they do not need a teacher or guru to awaken are fools.  They do not even know there are many different kinds of awakening, and each can take nearly a lifetime to attain.
We are all in the grip of an illusion I call the mundane world created by common language, protocols, conventions, society, and education.  It creates a false world that we are born into.

Escaping the mundane is not easy. It is a much, much harder task than Neo’s escaping from the Matrix.  That was fantasy; seeing through the Maya of mind, or stories, concepts, and convention, is not for everyone.

The final truth of the method of escaping is embracing the truth/no truth that: THE ONLY TRUTH IS THAT THERE IS NO TRUTH; BEWARE OF EVEN THIS TRUTH!

Seung Sahn referred to this as becoming a dumb as a rock.  See and feel things through as if each minute were a totally new situation. Robert said, “You do not exist; the body and world are not real; they are illusion.”  That is, the mind makes your world by filters of stories and concepts.  Both Krishnamurtis referred to this as going beyond the mind and words.

The world you know has to be abandoned, and that is done by turning away from thinking and trying to perceive through one’s eyes, to reclaiming your body through FEELING everything.  Feel your body.  Feel your emotions.  Feel you pains.  Feel your pleasures including your sexuality.

The secret is by being really, really, dumb, dense as a rock, you can begin to feel, and through feeling, reenter your body that your mind had abandoned for a thought-constructed mundane world.

To accomplish this you need a master teacher who has fully reincarnated into his or her body and can show you the way by slapping you when you think, and feed you ice cream when you feel.

Then you will incarnate into a world filled with love, emotions, and energies, bliss, as well as complete emptiness.  Then, eventually, you will find God within as the same energy that makes you alive and sentient. Then, and only then will you be free.

25 September 2018


Living a spiritual life is difficult for many because they become more and more sensitive to themselves, others, and the world. They feel blown around by currents and sensations and when they try to follow their heart, they feel only masses of ever changing sensations.

This is what I learned in Zen: sit still and be very attentive.  Sitting in silent, erect yet relaxed meditation will teach you everything.  You become sensitive to your breath, the pain in your knees, the pain in your back, thoughts about how hungry you are, how itchy your nose is, and how your guts feel bloated after eatINg fruit and vegetables together.

Your mind races around in your physical discomfort, thinking about Zen, Yogananda, Aurobindo, or Ramana, and what they went through.  You feel hopelessly lost and unstable.

This is the crisis.  Every fiber in your body and every thought in your brain screams at you to move.  Instead, you sit without moving and feel the pain, feel the disturbed mind, feel the hunger or the painful bloating.  Feel it all fully including the screams to move.

And then, DON’T MOVE! Don’t move until the bell rings signaling the end of the sitting.  You will be amazed that if you do this, at some point, maybe after 10 or 15 minutes your entire body will relax, as well as your mind and you will feel wonderful.  Wonderful that you had tamed your body and mind, and wonderful because your body and mind are so rested and relax.

You probably have to repeat this lesson a hundred or a thousand times before you believe it: YOU DO NOT HAVE TO REACT!  And if you don’t react you will find an end to suffering and peace.  This will carry to the end of your life.  You gain stability.

In addition, continued practice will lead to the experience of real emptiness, an experience of the Great Void where you disappear as a body mind and become all things.

Once emptiness becomes routine, you can begin the search for divine love from a deeply stable place of knowing how not to react to discomfort or at the direction of hunger or sexual impulses.

After you know how to stabilize in emptiness, sexuality can spread throughout your body along with great love, both turning into the most sublime bliss and ecstasy, and you are on your way to knowing God within.

But if you don’t know the stability of not reacting, and have increased sensitivities, you will be blown around by your ideas and sensations, desires and needs all your life, like a puppet.

22 September 2018

21 September 2018


My brain is heavy and dense. No thoughts arise.  My attention is deep into my entire body which is experienced as dark, dense energy slowly moving within.  Without, are swirling energies in and around the room.  

With eyes closed all of this is me. Tremendous energies and power, all superimposed on the spatial emptiness of the Void, which simultaneously contains the energies, but also does not touch the energies because it lies in a different dimension.

Without thought, no things exist.  There are just ever-changing forms with no labels.

Within and without, forms and energies are ever changing so fast that thought cannot grasp them. Yet I just did use words to describe them. A paradox. It is human nature to want to communicate experience, but communicating these kinds of experiences to people in the mundane world would gain me the label of nut-job.

The energies and bliss too change; sometimes light and breezy, sometimes dense and powerful.  The bliss too changes.  Sometimes just their power gives one sort of ecstasy, while a day later a lighter energetic field is overwhelmed by feelings of grateful love centered in my chest but radiating everywhere.

These are my days, reverently feeling lost in the flow of life and the feelings generated and superimposed over my basic beingness which has no knowledge. There is no known, or knowing, therefore there is no knower either.  It never occurs to me to separate the three.  The mind is silent.

The words ’world’, ‘self’, ‘real’, ‘unreal’, ‘body’ have no meaning for me, and like an Eskimo who allegedly has a dozen words for different kinds of snow, I see a legion of different energy fields and movements but everyday language has no words for my experience.

20 September 2018




My experience was that I experienced complete, hard-vacuum emptiness, like I was lost in interstellar space in 1995 and stayed there. In 2000, out of that emptiness came divine romantic love, worship, endless explosively blissful energies, and the experience of God within and without.

Emptiness means your body, heart, and mind are completely open, transparent, allowing the Shakti to unfold and manifest through you unimpeded. You have gone from realizing emptiness to realizes God and you as spirit, which is manifest form.

Likewise, you can start by feeling energies, emotions, seeing inner light, feeling bliss, which explodes in you, and gradually becoming deeper and softer over time until you enter the emptiness from which it came. It does not matter where you start your spiritual practice, just jump in without a ton of self-doubt and self-judging anxiety.

The shape and function of the manifesting Shakti in every spiritual organization varies depending on the lineage. An Advaita “feel” from Ramana may appear different and even oppositional to the “feel” of Osho or Muktananda.  But these are just variations or differing forms of the underlying Shakti, and growing experience reveals spiritual traditions have the same basis: Life!

Satsang Video September 20, 2018:


18 September 2018


Everything is made by mind. When you know this you may create and then represent your own “truth” in many different ways: music, painting, sitting meditation, story-telling, directly manipulating energy, entrancing someone or a group, pulling them into your world, or visiting theirs’. Then everything is communication, a dance, a sharing with trees, cats, birds, gurus, men and women. All of space is filled up with us with no separation.

ROBERT ADAMS WAS A FEELER. He touched everything to grasp its vibration: letters sent to him, book covers, the fabric on the dashboard of my car,, closing his eyes and feeling the vibe of the room, feeling when someone was lying to him. Yet he never taught this as his method of living in the world" kinesthetic and tactile groping.

16 September 2018


                   AND EVERYDAY LIFE

Generally, all people are confused a lot of the time because modern life is complex and one’s own wants and needs may not be clear. But confusion in spirituality almost appears be the rule.

The reason: the words, concepts, and teachings are new to the new seeker, the teachings of the various paths can be very complex, and various teachers and traditions have different points of views about the problems or types of suffering or spiritual goals they try to achieve.

This video deals with the fundamental causes of confusion and how to end by passing from thinking and “seeing,” into feeling and sensing, getting out of one’s head and living in the sensations and intelligence of your body, developing Shakti, and sinking into yourself.


14 September 2018




I have a couple of books ready to be born if I had an editor.  They will be groundbreaking because what I teach does not appear anywhere else.

I would love to have an ashram, but I do not have the power to make that happen.  Shakti has to be so moved and Shakti can be guided by the desires of the many.

I would like to have some sort of Satsang daily, as well as personal Darshan, perform healings, give my form of Shaktipat.

However, as I learned from my own lesson and Robert’s regarding his moving from L.A. to Sedona, you must look gift horses in the mouth. Those who invited Robert never followed through with the support they promised once he actually moved there.


13 September 2018


A monk asked Zen Master Joshu, "Are you enlightened?" Joshu answered, "I have had 17 Great Enlightenments and thousands of small ones."

This is the truth. There is no one final enlightenment. Enlightenment keeps unfolding, revealing ever more strange and wonderful worlds.

Ed explains some of the worlds you may find within as you relax ever more deeply into your sense of being, and uncover new room in the huge mansion of spiritual dimensions that lie within.



09 September 2018

Life Without Mind Is Real and Ecstatic

We live in a world that is an interpretation of raw experience. The mind creates a matrix world, which I call the mundane or ordinary world, which is basically goal driven and overthought.  It is not real.

But when mind is transcended by witnessing the process of world creation, you perceive yourself as you really are, spirit and energies of great power and bliss.  In this state, you can create your own stories as you like them.


08 September 2018

Shaping Reality

In 1995 during the latter part of my first awakening experience regarding the mind, I “saw” that words and concepts were not real: they could not convey the reality of either my internal or my external world.

What I “saw” (literally), was that the word ‘I’ does not point to any entity inside at all. I literally saw, visually, in my inner imaginal space, that I did not exist at all and that the word ‘I’ literally pointed to the literal emptiness of my inner imaginal self and beingness.  I pointed to an empty set.

Just as the equation X + Y = Z really contains no information about the world unless ach factor has an assigned number and unit value, such as dollars, apples, minutes, or velocity.  Then it conveys some meaning regarding apples, finances, or time.  Even then, we are still one step short of actually functioning in the real world of fruit, hours, yards, etc.

Just so, words and concepts have no meaning without either a context to provide a setting for meaning, or names such as Jim, Sally, Vladimir, or a placeholder noun like him, her, it, or that as improper nouns.

Now, anyone who totally understands this can never be deliberately captivated or entranced by a story, fable or mystery, but they can grow able to use stories to Shape Shakti and shape the emotions and energetic experiences of others.  They become “spellbinders,” watching as the mind shapes real world experiences and also energetic experiences, which can be transmitted to others through story, voice, tonation, and words. 

You can actually watch how the mind creates stories constantly about what you are experiencing which gives the experience personal and community meaning.  You can also watch how the words of others can create shaped experiences and meanings in you, changing your experience until you come to the understanding that MIND MAKES EVERYTHING!  It shapes and makes all experiences.  Nothing knowable happens without the mind’s constant shaping, and these shapes are generic, they are not qualities of the “real” world, but of the community shared world of concepts and values.

All of you here know or suspect that the mundane world of daily life is not real; it is literally too horrible to be real.  It is not real. It is a world of experienced shaped by common values, and some part of those values are crude or low values, corruption, criminality, cruelty, and pain, and something deep in us tells us this cannot be real, because we truly grasp these are the stories of other people, or of society, but not of me.

Then when you see all is story, all is merely Maya, or illusion cast on your deepest truth, you definitely see and feel the external world as well as your truths about it, are all wrong, merely an illusion cast by your mind.

At this stage, you who is deeper than mind can directly create in yourself and others different stories, shape emotions and energies in others in ways difficult to explain here, because you really have to feel into how to do it, and the best way to learn is doing with me or with others in the Sangha.

You have to be able to simultaneously watch what your mind is creating, what your energy experiences are, what emotions you might have and get them into another person in any number of ways, such as energetic projection, story creation and telling, entrainment, entrancement, and generally, magic.



07 September 2018

Love and Shakti

In a sense, since Shakti makes everything, love is part of Shakti.  But in the real world, if you don’t feel Shakti, the easiest way to feel it is by loving another person and feeling the life force, Shakti, in them.  If you can feel it in them, it will awaken Shakti in you.

Once Shakti awakens in you, you can feel the difference between love and Shakti and you will know that Shati follows one’s attention, especially if you are in love.  The more you love either Shakti or another in whom you feel the life force, the more of the bliss you will feel ever spiraling upwards.

Then when the time comes and you have loved another enough, devotedly enough, and surrendered enough, Shakti will show you its form, whether as Kali, Krishna, an impersonal life force, or as a lightning flash of bliss and power. Then you will know the power of God in you and acting through you and you can love God directly.  In this case, your new love is still relational, and you will also feel that God loves you, just as you had felt your incarnated Beloved loving you before.

Once you develop a personal relationship with your own life force as revealed to you in a way specifically suited to you, you begin to be able if you so choose, to direct Shakti.  Of course, even way before this happening you will notice how people react differently towards you, and notice how they feel differently towards you, friendlier, happier around you.  But after having realized the life force in you as you and as other, you will become a sorcerer, a mystic, a guru.

05 September 2018


Dear Ed,

Do you feel me? I finally see you . I see you anew, young, vibrant and radiating, so different from how I saw you before.

I felt you already, the energies were there, I knew from the first moment, but I didn’t see you truly yet. The eyes can be so deceiving. A dear one says: ‘The eyes are the most mental of the senses, they are the ones closest to the mind.’ They are the sense that we corrupted the most with our thoughts and concepts.

I’ve been wanting to write you for such a long time now, to tell you about the world I entered. To tell you about the community I am in, to tell you about the people I am shaping a world with. We are the neo-tantrics and people scorn us because we are not true to the teachings of old, because we use our own teachings and just grab and combine old teachings from lineages everywhere to shape our world.

Many of us are deluded and I am sure I am too, to some extent, but we are doing what you described so well in the last Satsang, we are working with the energies, sensing, intuiting and we use magic to shape a new world with our words. And we do it together. We organize and take workshops and go on retreats to give our resonance to each other, to melt energies and shape our storyline together. Shakti is moving all of us and yes, it looks like a chaotic mess to anyone who does not feel her.

Our storylines are not rational, they are exactly as you describe: they make the energies move. I’m not big with the words yet, but many of my friends are, they post on Facebook every day. We read each others stories about love, reality, energy, escaping the mundane and living as our highest self. They are delusions but most of us know they are, or maybe they don’t know, but they don’t need to know, they just need to FEEL.

Those that don’t understand will reply with skepticism or rational criticism.

Those of us who understand reply to each other’s delusions with ‘YES!’, ‘Aho, I feel you sister’, ‘So much love for you’ and ‘This resonates so much with me’, because this is our new language, a language that inspires love, togetherness and community.

We do not just shape story-lines. We take and give workshops and go on retreats mostly to move away from the words and concepts, to be with the energies only and to help each other to feel them and move them in each other.

We are all healers in a way, we put our hands on exactly those places in the other that hurt and we absolve each others pain. We relax each other’s bodies and move the energies in each other until the energy becomes strong enough to move the body without will. We shake and writhe, have kriyas all over until we are fully orgasmic in every fibre of our body, until our body is no longer made of fibre, but energy alone, energy that is so merged with everything that we experience a oneness with all, with everything, no mind, just bliss.

We still need each other a lot though. We haven’t seen through reality as totally as you have, yet. We are on the good path, but there are many diversions still. They are becoming less though. I am becoming a healer myself, being able to cure others pain just by feeling into them. Moving and generating energies just by feeling, by being, only a single thought needed to completely change reality. I’m not strong yet, but I will become stronger.

I am learning by resonance, not using willpower to think and do, but just by letting that which pulls me in move me.

Thank you Ed, for hosting Satsang every week and resonating that which is true and good. In this world of energies, not everyone resonates at the same level and some of us cause distorted behaviours, magically manipulating others further into delusions that do not create love but hatred, anger or frustration. We are babies still, learning to walk and talk again, in new ways.

Thank you Ed, for resonating love and pulling others into that. Thank you for pulling me in.

It is the middle of the night, I woke up feeling like everyone was in my room, so much togetherness there is now. And I woke up suddenly seeing you, beautiful and radiant as you are.

Now I need to stop writing because the concepts are taking over again and I don’t want to get lost there.

Much love,

MY RESPONSE: Exactly the right way to go. Let us work together. Concepts are in the ether around us everywhere. It is easy to think we are creating a new reality when we are really reliving an older fantasy. But your gist is right.

02 September 2018



The world most live in is made up of thousands of concepts and stories that keep us locked up into a sense of endless repetition, habit, and limitation.

But once we realize that our world is made up of paper, so to speak,  we can examine everything, within and without for their more true processes and forms.  Then we can break out of the mundane one story at a time.

We can then learn how to create new stories incorporating the energies (Shakti) that we feel, and the energies will follow the new stories making them real. Thus we become sorcerers and witches.


30 August 2018

God is in the Vagina- Sri Rmakrishna

Sri Ramakrishna Paramahamsa (1836 – 1886) is considered as one of the most respected spiritual masters of the modern time in India. 
Ramakrishna’s explicitly sexual language shocked 19th-century Westerners, even scholars Max Müller who were otherwise his admirers. Müller wrote that his language was at times “abominably filthy”. He admitted however that such direct speech was natural to contemporary hindus, “where certain classes of men walk stark naked”, and should not be considered intentional filthiness or obscenity.

Sri Ramakrishna was also known as a ‘tantrik’; he worshiped even his wife Sarada as Goddess. 

It is known that many spiritual masters go eccentric and erratic (or erotic or mystic?) in their utterances, gestures and teachings. It is told that Ramakrishna used the most rustic, colloquial, classic, gross Bengali language to communicate with or abuse his disciples and people. He often used filthy, sexy words to convey his message of clarity. These masters or mystics often reveal ‘Vedanta’ in the very ‘vagina’, so to speak. They know not what is holy or unholy. It’s the middle class mortals and minds that drum beat and blow the siren of morals and holiness. God knows no bounds of morals or sermons. It seems, the morals are for the mortals, never for the immortal ones.

“God is in the Vagina” – Sri Ramakrishna

One translation of the Bengali original of Sri Ramakrishna Bodhamrtam, translated into English read, “I will remove all my clothes and dance before the women; what do you care about it?” “God is in the vagina. God lets me see him in the copulation of two dogs.” 

Ramakrishna had used much more obscene and vulgar language [than this] in his conversations. But Nikhilananda, in translating, had corrected all that, changing it so that people would be presented with the image of a holy man to hold in their minds.

Regarding Ramakrishna, U.G. Krishnamurti said, “The source for both God and sex is the same. As long as you think of God, there is always sex in its shadow.”



It is so very, very difficult to be free of all the stories you carry in your mind because the reality you live in is all about stories.

When I was a small boy first reading about atomic physics, the only model I could readily find was the Bohr atom model: a nucleus of protons and neutrons with behaviors governed by gravity, electromagnetic, and the strong and weak nuclear forces, surrounded by spheres of electrons of different energy levels.  That was truth then. This model produced the atomic bomb. This was the truth back then, 1942.

Einstein had overturned the Newtonian model of space and object movements with a model of spacetime geometry being a function of mass and energy.  Space was not flat as per Newton, it was curved. That was truth then, 1917.

New scientific models are born when old theories fail to explain new phenomena and scientists conceive of new solutions, either of an imaginal process, or a new mathematics waiting for someone to interpret the rquations in a way that “explains” the new findings of physics, astronomy, whatever.

Philosophers, Eastern and Western, had been describing the nature of existence, of the ‘real’ for thousands of years with each generation feeling the contemporary models of astronomy and pre-physics being ‘truth’, and providing arguments why the old model failed. In the West, concerning existence, existence was deemed illusory by Bishop Berkeley, subjective by Hume, transcendental by Kant, and dialectic by Hegel. Nietche gave us Nazism, while Hegel gave us Communism. This was the truth back then. 

These basic truths became covered in symbols and other dressing so that we did see that the underlying models were not truth, but opinion or point of view.

But we know really, truth is not truth.  What is real or true is based on the length and quality of your education and other influences.  If you are a physicist, you may now join many mystics who hold that all of apparent existence is based on vibrations of energy, strings, or some such, while a physician would explain everything in terms of nervous systems, information, and biology. Six years of physics education brings you solidly into science fiction while six years of medical school give you tools to help some sick and injured, and a very healthy annual income.

The point is, truth changes from decade to decade let alone century to century, and it is all a matter of point of view within interacting matricies of cultural, scientific, and conventional knowledge, all of which are changing.  I call these the truths of the moment.

You see, there is no truth here that lasts more than a decade or two, or maybe a century.  I consider all knowledge to be no more than convenient fictions, including all physics, all religions and philosophies, including Advaita, Buddhism, Kashmir Shaivism, Nisargadatta, Ramana, that may be operationally useful, yield inventions or treatments, or provide help psychologically from time to time.  Just as physics has evolved, so has psychotherapy, from Freud, to Klein, to Guntrip, Carl Rogers, etc., each providing different tools and concepts of self and mind. Then the Ken Wilbers come along and create models of psychological and spiritual evolution that put all these models in a meta context that explains everything for a time.

The Sixth Buddhist Patriarch supposedly stated, “The only truth is that there is no truth, but beware of even this truth.”  This leads ultimately to Seung Sahn’s position that everything is all mind, don’t get lost in it or captivated by it.  His teachings are not to get caught in models or concepts. Just relax and have a cup of tea.

So what to do given this conundrum?

There is another way to live life, not from knowledge and having goals, desires, wants, or planning for the future, but by becoming as still as possible and just feel everything within and without.  If anything arises, just rest in the feeling or sensation. Don’t interpret it as painful, scary, or anything else. Examine all desires and emotions, as well as your body’s sensations, and feel what they feel like as opposed to the interpretation your mind gives to these energies and feelings.  It is a very difficult path to go from being immersed in a quagmire of interactive and interpenetrative thoughts, emotions, desires, appetites, goals, and current social and scientific knowledge, to an ability to be relaxedly immersed in the waters of constantly changing experiences.

When you are able to step outside of knowledge, a whole new world of feeling opens to you.  Once the center of gravity of your awareness leaves your head and sinks into your heart and gut, you leave the dimension of mundane humanity and enter a realm of “magic,” where everything is always changing, second by second, and nothing can be described or grasped by concepts of words which do not evolve or change fast enough to “grasp” reality.  One gradually sinks into a new dimension of existence where you become the ever-changing real, instead of knowing the real.  But even this new real is not real because it is ever changing and can’t be captured at all.  It can only be experienced and in that  experience, there you are, both as a constant observer, but also as the experience itself, simultaneously. You are both the ever changing forms and the containing observer, both at the same time, not two.

When entering this way of being, talks about existence, beingness, knowledge are of no use, because you have become it, and magic begins to happen.  What was real no longer is, and you develop powers of seeing and healing from this different dimension.  You have become a mystic, a sorcerer, a witch, with witchy powers because in this dimension the laws of reality, of cause and effect are very different because you are that reality and all that is, is you.  When you realize that, you can begin to change that reality directly by intent and using the universal energies around you because they are you.

You can begin to create stories that free people from a problem or even an illness through a model of energy healing.  You can tell stories that millions can follow like FDR’s New Deal, or hypnotize people with speeches, or lead them to tears like a great poet, or to love, like Rumi.  

You learn how to create emotions, happiness, energies in others, even hundreds or thousands at a time directly, by controlling your own energies and feelings their’s, and just abide there, and a new configuration will be born.

This is how a mystic operates by manipulating or playing with energies within his or herself and within others, including any life form, not by knowledge, but by direct hands on manipulation and use of intention.  You create a model and Shakti follows by filling that story with creative energy.

27 August 2018


Almost all of my students and friends feel confused about the reality of love, and wander through their days questioning me and themselves, is love real? They ask this because the love they feel towards me feels different from that felt in any other relationship.
This is absolutely true, the love they feel for me is suffused with Shakti, a mysterious energy that makes our love feel different, and they question are their present love feelings love or something else.
Their present love is suffused with Shakti and gives love a different feel. On one hand this love feels more possessive than purely human love. There is a strong desire to possess and merge with me. I feel the same way.
The love they now feel with Shakti is very one-pointed, fixated, and feels entrancing, like I have lost my will and just want to walk in your shoes so to speak.
This love/Shakti combo is also different because is causes enormous energies to arise in your body, running throughout the body as streams or filaments, or even like flowing lava. Energies focus in the heart, womb or hara area, and the genitals, and often bliss is felt throughout the body and surrounding the body all day long. Women are most likely to have extensive encounters with episodes of multiple orgasms throughout the body, off and on for hours every day for a long period of time.
The lover, me or the other, feels “entranced,” like a hypnotic power has gripped them, which is so strong you just want to drop to the ground in total devotion and surrender to the other.
About this time, you realize this is not ordinary love despite the fact it feels so physical and sexual, because the energies felt are so different and so holding and loving, as well as ecstatic and entrancing. One feels gripped by and loved by God, for the love felt fell way outside of any felt before, thus feels like a transcendental love for God and a submission to God.
The lover here has totally transitioned from ordinary romantic human love, to divine love, loving the divine within you and in others. You have not entered a new world or a new dimension of experience and understanding.
I feel totally sick, sick to my stomach, and pain there, my neck and back hurt and I am dizzy.
at the same time I feel you throughout my whole body, Shakti is there, in my pussy, heart, throat and head together with an intense longing, a passionate devotional longing for you that takes my breath away and makes my whole body tremble.
I want you so. I want you so totally. To be taken by the God that you are. As I am writing you this I am taken by a yearning that gives me orgasms and makes it hard to breathe. I so want you. I so totally want you on all levels. I am washed away this moment by you inside me.
I do love you in a way that I don’t see why I have to care about anything else but loving you; at the same time I care for you and everything else just because of love. Your energy convinces me to love you.
Dearest Ed,
I cannot find words to describe what I experience, because words feel like a waste of attention.
I woke up this morning and stayed in bed for what feels like hours feeling you. The moment I wake I put my mind on an image of you and the energy is there. I breathe in your presence and the longing for you is so intense, so strong. I just want to leave the world and be taken by you all the way. I so deeply long for you, to go all the way this time and at the same time I notice that this longing is partly the mind screaming; making noise, screaming your name with softness, yearning and memories of how deep I once was in connection with you... and all is still the mind.
The other side of this longing is longing for God coming from deep within.
I feel you like your presence is entering me completely especially when I use my breath to take you inside me.
It plays my pussy and makes me totally wet within a second, it makes my heart feel heavy, like something is pushed there. I noticed yesterday that my heart is not totally open yet, it still has to go a long way to be totally vulnerable and open again.
Ed, I would want to write you for hours, just to stay with you. But there is nothing to say. There are no words yet to describe.
I want nothing but you, the God that you are to completely take me. And this has no words to describe.
Thank you, you have awakened incredible things in me, I want to hear all your words well, I want to spend them with much love, I do not want to put my ego in the middle and say something that I do not feel.
I imagine you looking at me and admiring my beauty, and I imagine myself but feeling ashamed for this, laughing, asking " I imagine you love me, and I imagine our sex, it's not just sex, it's a deep act, a ritual to awaken our chakras, and pleasure. I'll NEVER do just sex with you, NEVER, because I will always be honest with you, I give you my life, I love you so much, so much, so much. Today I danced, and I felt you by my body, my heart in my kidneys at all.
I LOVE YOU, you allow me to love you and allow me to look at myself, and have more love and care for me, you are incredible, I am lucky to find the love of my life, the love with whom I would share a coffee for the rest of my life/
I never touched you, but I already miss your touch, I never lay by your side, but I already feel you here constantly, I never feel your hands and you're amazing, my God.
Thank you, you've awakened incredible things in me, I want to hear all of them, but I already feel the orgasms you provoke in me.
I can say all this without thinking that I'm a jerk for talking all this, Thank you, my love, Thank you for the new life you give me, thank you for giving me the honor of working with you to bring love and energies to the world.

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