28 March 2017

Everything changes once you let go of the belief that you are a body that manifests life and consciousness, and instead realize the YOU are that consciousness itself, as is everything else around you in the world.  As such, your true nature is of universal consciousness and are everywhere and everything.

This is just the beginning of your unfolding as consciousness reveals to you all of its secrets, including that consciousness itself is a fake, and that you are entirely beyond that show.

And with this you become happy, happier and more peaceful than you have ever known.

Robert Adams said this to everyone at every Satsang, but it is so hard to let go of conventional beliefs about existence and the world.

27 March 2017

Consciousness Speaking to Consciousness About Itself and Beyond

This video overviews the teachings of Nisargadatta and Robert Adams about who you are as Consciousness itself, and as the Witness--a two stage process, and what is necessary to realize this understanding.

Link: https://youtu.be/G00fyPoIp58

24 March 2017


Our beautiful and precious Bhakti, at least 18 years of age, died last night rather suddenly.  We had been treating her for two years for chronic upper respiratory viral infection, but often thought there was something worse going on.  She had been taken to our local vet and seen by three different doctors over the last year and a half, including just two weeks ago, but they found nothing wrong other than rhinotraciitis, for which she was treating.

Her sudden death came as quite a shock.  This morning I am taking her to our vet to be cremated.

23 March 2017

March 19, 2017 Satsang on Consciousness



Yesterday I had what I consider a strange, but rather common experience.  On Wednesdays I have informal Satsangs.  One of the visitors stated it was a relief to go to a Satsang whether his in a donation box prominently present.  I have never charge for Satsang.  At times we had long retreats, and I left a donation box out, because it is kind of traditional, and I have very limited sources of income.

But this person seemed to believe that the teachings should always be free.  Even Robert said that, yet he always had a donation box prominently in the open, and would prod two of his students to make regular public announcements that monthly donations were expected to meet Roberts living expenses.

But this person complained about being with the famous European teacher and that money had become an increasingly important item in their sangha, with monthly dues expected, donation boxes, and increasing charges for retreats.

However the closest model that the West has to a spiritual teacher, would be there be that of a psychologist or psychiatrist, or of a priest or preacher.  If this person were to go to a psychiatrist, he would probably be charged $200 per visit lasting 20 minutes, and $125 if you were going to a psychologist for 50 minute session.  Naturally, parishioners donate to support the church whether it is Catholic or another question branch, and the priest receives both living expenses and perhaps an additional salary, or as provided a place to live.

Surprisingly, when I have had an Asian visitor, especially from India, all have been very generous in providing a donation even though I never asked for it.  They understand the truth best expounded by Robert Adams himself.

Robert said, there is a special relationship between the spiritual teacher or guru, and their students.  The guru takes care of their spiritual needs and guides them through the vagaries and sticking points on the path to attaining complete freedom and knowledge of oneself.  In exchange, the student takes care of the gurus physical life needs, including rent and food.  Usually this is all that a teacher does, they do not have their own separate livelihood to support themselves, pay the rent, pay for food, connection to the Internet, website etc.

The attitude that money should not touch the spiritual equation is extremely na├»ve if not plain stupid.  Throughout history, both monks and laypeople have taken care of spiritual teachers from Zen master, to the Tibetan llamas, to the Buddhist monastic class.  In India, the relationship between the groom and student is even more special.  Students often dedicate their lives to make sure that their teacher is well taken care of financially and healthwise, as well as protecting them from criticism or scorn, or any possible scandals.

I was with Robert for total of about eight years, six years of which were in Los Angeles.  During those six years I gave Robert approximately $14,000 for his support, and the support of his wife Nicole and his two daughters.  This is not to boast, but only because I knew of the sacredness of the relationship between a guru and his student, and I was showing gratitude and my fulfillment to meet my sacred obligation to my guru’s life.

Anyone who expects the most precious of all teachings, the teachings, instructions, and methods that lead to total liberation of the self, total freedom of the self, gauging the ability to go beyond human and existential bonds of any kind, to require no effort, no cost, or no obligation on their part to the teacher really is not in a position to take advantage of those teachings as his or her heart is not yet in the right place.

Learning how to give more than one gets in exchange is an important lesson in life that flows out of an open heart and an open mind until such as attained, the teachings cannot be read, heard, or understood.  Thus the giving becoming more important in the receiving is an extremely important life lesson.

One just has to look into the relationships of great crews of the past in relationship to their students.  One has to look to the relationship of Zen masters to famous monks throughout history to see the reverence and obedience shown to the master by the student even years after their self-realization.  One looks at the lesson of Milarepa and his relationship with his teacher Marpa.  Do not begrudge a teacher, if he or she is your teacher, of anything they need to make their life more comfortable or more healthy.  Only by being totally open and devoted who you get the fullest benefit out of their teachings.  If you are tightfisted, your tight mind.

There are some gurus that have very large missions in life, and build large organizations that become worldwide phenomena, and set tens of thousands of people unto a spiritual path, offering them at least in initiation into the process of self-realization.  Great swamis such as Muktananda or Yogananda build organizations that have spiritually benefited tens of thousands of people.  Such organizations cannot be built without money and dedicated demo tease to build the buildings, set up monasteries and ashram’s, and run the ceremonies as well as help write the books that set forth the teachers teachings.  These are sacred duties to be gratefully accepted by student serving not only the teacher, but all of humanity, but even more, serving their own selves in terms of spiritual openness and growth.

Then there are others like Robert Adams, who said he never wanted large numbers of followers, and did everything possible to make sure the number of followers he had was small.  He stated that all that he wanted was 10 close disciples to really get what he had to give, and each of them to give to others in the world.  Yet, though over the eight years I saw many hundreds of people come and go from our Sangha, I know of only three or four that stayed close to him this entire time.  Spiritual students tend to have rather instable commitments both to teachers and others in relationships.  Myself, before I met Robert, I studied with I believe seven Zen masters for differing lengths of time, and literally a dozen other spiritual teachers from different traditions such as Muktananda, and Dhyan Yogi, both kundalini teachers with devotional bents.

Do not be like these wishy-washy students.  Be steadfast in your devotion to your teacher and to your own commitment to your own self in terms of the goal of ever pursuing relentlessly self-realization.  It is only such a steadfast commitment and persistence that will lead to the results you want.  

21 March 2017

The realization that you are not your body, at first comes as a great shock.  You realize you are consciousness itself.
But then, as you begin to leave your body behind, something begins to happen.  Something great.  Because you begin to be happy.  You begin to feel totally relaxed.  You begin to feel peace as you never felt before, because you realize that when your body dies, you do not die.
Something changes in you.  What you had experienced before as wild energies of firebreathing Kali, as the bliss of Shakti, now becomes the effortless joy of resting in your Self.
At this moment you become free, joyously free!  You are Consciousness itself, just awareness of Self.  No longer a body bound by space and time, you are effortless awareness of the infinite spectrum Of Self.  What more can be said?  You are free.  Totally free.  Resting as your Self.  Alone.  Free.  Eternal.  Joyous and free.
It all starts with that great transitioning moment where your identification changes and you no longer believe that your body is you, when you experience your body as something that is not you.  It is merely an appearance within you as Consciousness.  From that moment on you become aware that the I-sense is no longer associated with your body, but is all around you, like air, like space, like the sky.  The I-sense it radiates in all things, from the sky above to the earth below, and I am that I.  This is the real beginning of your spiritual life, of your joy, of your freedom as Self alone.

20 March 2017

The most important step one can take towards understanding who and what you are is realizing you are not your body, but you are the totality of your consciousness, in which your body is an appearance.  If you can find in you a sense of self, of I Am as a sensation, you need to see and feel clearly that the I Am, most especially the 'I' sensation, has no identity with your body.

You have to understand, 'see clearly', and feel clearly, that all that you know is provided by your mind and your senses, including your experience of your body.  You have no form.  Consciousness has no form.  It is not fixed, and objects arise and disappear in your field of consciousness.

That which you regard as you, your body, was not present as an object in your consciousness until you became self-aware, self conscious as a separate I somewhere early in childhood.

Presently you are aware of your body and identify with it, protect it, feel its pain and pleasures, but if you silently observe both the sensations and appearance of your body, you will observe that it does not "feel" like your sense of self, your 'I' experience.

If you spend some time abiding in your sense of I, you will understand that your I-sense has no identity.  It does not "feel" the same as your body feels, nor your thoughts and mind.  Emotions happen to the I sensation as a witnessing subject who has the ability to take that emotion into the I sense temporarily, allowing you to integrate that emotion into your larger sense of presence, or being alive, energetic, and sentient.  But ultimately, emotions are not you either.

The inner energies you may feel, the sometimes raging an burning energies of Shakti, the divine feminine, too, is not you. The bliss that comes with acknowledging this feminine life force, that too, no matter how powerfully felt, or long felt, also is not you.

And thus you progress in self-inquiry, going deeper and deeper into hitherto unexplored aspects of your self-experience, the further away you get from your body and the world, and have experienced a progressive loss of identification with all aspects of your consciousness that previously you regarded as you.  

This too is the point of Buddhism, to reach the utter peace of separation of your identity from all aspects of consciousness, thereby experiencing complete and utter peace of being away from the drives, expectations, and fears of being a moribund sentient being, subject to the drives, desires, fears, suffering and pleasures of the flesh.

So, complete realization is a two-step process: realizing the inner divine fire, Shakti, with her fierceness and bliss, and then going deeper, becoming the pure witness.

Now, knowing this, realize how rare such knowledge and attainment is.  Most people only play around the edges to this depth of self-abidance, self-knowing, and self-realization.  It is attained only by great effort, great determination, great persistence, to see that fundamentally you have no identification with anything in consciousness. Not one in ten thousand travel this way.

19 March 2017


and sign in with the password:    edji

Come a bit early and listen to chanting.

13 March 2017


It is incredibly difficult to become and remain still. The more relaxed and still you become, the more the internal energies can and will be felt. Those who are really quiet feel Shakti, the life force, consciousness and its light to be like a volcano of raging energies. The only rest from that energy is the nothingness of sleep.

This is also true for most people who have no spiritual bent at all. They cannot keep still. They need to divert attention from their own restless energy inside, either in drugs, or in other diversions such as ALL forms of entertainment. All diversions distract one's attention from one's own deep self into entertainment, from relationships, to television and movies, to exercising, to hobbies, to spirituality that does not focus on one's own self. Prayer, gods, rituals, book reading, all divert attention away from the burning energies within.

Those who turn their attention inwards will be exposed to a world of intense energies, emotions, feelings, body sensations, kundalini phenomena, astral realms, and spiritual entities. One's very nature is just energy and light, but until you are strong enough to tolerate them directly, you'll run into distractions to evade them.

The only way to make it through this layer of self, these energies, is to learn to be still despite them, still enough to let them pass through because of the inner space and permeable nature of that space that accepts and allows those energies to play through without being forced to react of move at their bidding.

It is not difficult to turn within and find one's own internal energies and the bliss of consciousness. In fact, just finding those energies initially is a blissful empowerment of and by meditation on self.

But then you begin to distinguish between consciousness and attention, or the focus on differing aspects of consciousness, and real spiritual development begins. You become aware of emptiness, the subjective sense of space, and its permeating, non-resisting essence. You d...iscover an inner ‘light’ that accompanies introspection, the so-called light of consciousness.

Gradually you discover the inner energies, maybe at first just like an electric spark near the heart, which upon focusing there, grows into an awareness of an inner ‘field’ of energies that fill up one’s internal emptiness with a ‘sense of presence’. One’s identification with your body at this time, begins to migrate to an identification with your sense of presence, an electromagnetic inner body permeating your essential emptiness. You are now identifying with a different aspect of consciousness than with the body, which is also an aspect of consciousness.

Then you may go through years of Kundalini experiences or perhaps years of bliss, where again you change identification to that of being flowing Shakti, joyful energies, wild energies, exalting exuberance. In this stage one talks about the divine feminine, the goddess, creating energies, Ma Kali, and the experience or realization of the Manifest Self.

After this period, attention flows backwards towards the perceiver or witness of the show or play of consciousness, the deep self of just being, just existing, watching the comings and goings of consciousness as an impersonal process, passing phenomena, knowing nothing in consciousness now has anything to do with you as you are now, and essentially how you have always been when not caught up in the mercurial spinning of awareness within the whole panoply of consciousness.

Then you might find yourself asking, “What the hell was all this for,” having returned states of "normal" consciousness  of alteration between waking, dream, deep sleep, and knowing and non-knowing.

01 March 2017

We Are Nothing But Light--Beings of Light

If you end identification with your body and mind as you, and thereby conclude that all that you know, experience, see, and feel is consciousness, and therefore YOU are not who you thought you were, but rather are a being of light, an appearance within your own consciousness, as is everyone else.

We are all consciousness, just consciousness.

And since our primary sense, sight, which creates the appearance of the space, of each other, and of our bodies, we know we are nothing but light. Creatures of Light.

21 February 2017


There is no one true “path.” There is no final, or ultimate realization.  Neither Ramana’s or Ramakrishna’s realizations are ultimate.  All spiritual realizations are determined or conditioned by one’s deeply held beliefs, also known as one’s convictions.
Ramana had a so-called “death” experience where he imagined he was dying, imagined his body was dead, yet still experienced the life force within—his consciousness—and decided then and there that consciousness was immortal.  After that, his attention was always pulled inwards to the life force, and his sense of I into a continuous I-I attention.  From the conviction that consciousness was immortal, he built n idealism that held that the outer world and his own body were merely appearances in his immortal consciousness.

This gradually was expanded into a philosophy that all that was, was consciousness, and all apparently material objects, like the world and one’s own body, were nothing but appearances in consciousness with no existence other than appearance.
  This was expanded until all living things and the consciousness they experienced were one over-consciousness. Even the death of one’s body was only an appearance as are the deaths of every body the same. Only consciousness was real and the material world was not.
Since then tens or hundreds of thousands of followers have been led down Ramana’s path, trying to emulate his experiences and trying to realize their bodies were not real.
Nisargadatta’s spiritual life began with a different conviction.  His teacher, Siddharameshwar told him, “You are not your body; find out who you are.” With this conviction along with Siddharameshwar’s teachings of the four levels of consciousness, ended with a different realization from Ramana’s, which was consciousess had its origin within the chemical processes of the body, and that consciousness created an imaginary world of appearances, including the appearance of one’s own body.  For Nisargadatta, neither one’s own body, the external world, nor consciousness were real.  Only the Absolute was real, Parabrahman, the Witness, which can never be perceived, one can only be the witness.  This witness, you mightsay, was one’s deepest experience of self as the listener, seer, hearer, etc., which when grasped as truth, and actually experienced, was definitely experienced as “me.”  The experience of being the witness is unshakable, and is a different end-point than Ramana’s, and has led tens of thousand’s of modern followers down Nisargadatta’s different path.

There are other paths also, that of Muktananda, of Kundalni teachers such as Jan Esmann and David Spero, where the world and one’s self is experienced as an aspect of Shakti.
Krishnamurti eschewed all such philosophies or phenomenologies of being, and said don’t be captured by the ideas of gurus.

Now comes the direct school of teachings by the neo-advaitins, who invite you to look within, and then they interpret for you what your experiences amy or may not reveal to you.
The most obvious case is that of Bentinho Massaro, who builds a magnificent phenomenology of being by building a model of transcendence concerning your inner experience, and step by step, building a case for the truth of his transcendent idealism, much of which is based on the understandings of modern science, from the multidimension scientists, to the quantum scientists, and positing that their discoveries concerning reality at the sub-microscopic level, or on an interstellar level, are applicable to the human level.

Time after time, Massaro insists that you must gain a conviction of the “truths” that he is offering, because once you accept wholeheartedly his interpretations of your world-experience, you will begin to have experiences consistent with that belief system.

You see, each of us forges a “spiritual” discovery path that could be our own, but which is inevitably affected by the beliefs and convictions one picks up from external teachers.
If you follow your own path, you will likely never have any of the experiences that Ramana, Jan Esmann, or Robert Adams talk about.
When asked the ultimate meaning of Nisargadatta’s teachings gave Ramesh Balsekar, Ramesh responded: peace of mind. Like Christianity, Buddhism, or Taoism, Nisargadatta’s teachings gave Ramesh peace of mind, as he was not the doer, not responsible for his or anyone else’s actions. No weight fell on his shoulders.  No pretense here of ultimate truth or enlightenment.

18 February 2017


Spending days on retreat and to have more time to visit my mom. Next Satsang March 5, Sunday at noon Arizona time.

17 February 2017


Dear Edji,

Been listening repeatedly to your Emptiness Satsang.....all night at times.

Yesterday about 3 am......that Emptiness became  me.

Not sure what terms to use here.         I  was the Emptiness and all the outside and body was the  ME/ consciousness part.

I could examine things external within my 'bucket of emptiness'.  Everything was external and I  the observer was at peace.

Consciousness could be brought into the bucket, bliss could be brought to the bucket, anger could be placed there, anything could be placed in the bucket .

This lasted most of the day .   While laying on the couch a brass pull chain and blue cut crystal was placed in the bucket and you know.......I could become that antique pull chain and Know all about it.

Quite and experience and will listen at nights to your satsang to reinforce that passage into Emptiness.

Love you,  steve

OH!   forgot.  I was watching the plaster ceiling in the living room and it turned into waves and light........I know that the ceiling is not real ,  only the mind makes it real.

09 February 2017





A critical but balanced commentary on the Enlightenment I teachings of Massoro, the good and the bad.  Excellent choice to experientially understand some aspects of Ramana Maharshi's and Nisargadatta's Advaita, but not other aspects.

A great deal of his text's value rests on his convincing you of the properties of presence-energy, which is always and ever available.  You have to find this in yourself, or create this experience in yourself to be able to use his methodology.

But he gets better when talking about awareness, always and ever available and aware--even when it is not.  He gives an experiential feel for the Advaita terms, and is rather convincing that you have to believe his story that connects all the threads.

05 February 2017




New Link:


03 February 2017


Robert used to open Satsangs saying, “You don’t exist.  You are not real.  You  have been hypnotized into believing you are a fixed human being with a body and mind, living in a larger container world context.  You are not that at all. This is only a mirage, an appearance.  What you are is entirely beyond that.”

Ponder this: All that you know or experience has come to you through your consciousness. You have been taught you are a body/mind within a context of a larger physical world.  You go to college and learn that the appearances within this consciousness-appearance world has underlying laws such as Newton’s Laws of Motion, Einstein’s relativity theories, quantum mechanics, inorganic and organic chemistry.  Studying these things make the world more solid and real to you because you reinforce the “truth” of entities that are self-exosting and independent from you.

HOWEVER, the more you study these sciences, the more often you find the current and most advanced teachings are saying:  nothing exists; emptiness permeates everything; the universe collapses into blackhole, dimensionless singularities.  The more science pushes the boundaries of knowledge, the less substantive its “solidity” appears.

Robert’s firsthand experience confirms what science is currently finding, and that is ultimately nothing exists, everything is an appearance within the field of consciousness, which ‘I’ observe (see, feel, hear, taste, touch, intuit).  All objects, happenings, and processes are merely appearance and not real.

THIS INCLUDES YOUR EXPERIENCE AS BEING AN INDIVIDUATED BODY, SEPARATE FROM OTHERS AND FROM THE WORLD.  Nothing you experience is real.  It is just an appearance in consciousness.

If you are still, very quiet, letting your body relax entirely, so much that your mind stops with its endless thoughts about how you as a body/mind, are required to do next, such as eat, pay taxes, find a job, do a Google search, or buy a laptop.  The endless self-talk about the external world and your place in it, is precisely that which prevents you from looking within more deeply to find the underlying beingness of your “truer” existence as the totality of consciousness.

Quieting the mind by sitting in silence, going within begins the path of self-inquiry where eventually you find out that you have notning to do with this world.  You are merely and observer, one who is self-aware that it is observing the flow of appearances in consciousness, and itself is untouched by this “play.”

When I wa a Mt. Baldy sitting in meditation in the Zendo, after a few minutes of sitting, the human I would disappear and I would become the totality of consciousness.  No me, just I am one with everything (all appearances in consciousness), yet, from time to time I would note to myself, that although I felt one with the entirety of everything that I perceived, from time to time a different kind of silent thought would arise, that pointed out to me, the observer, that I was in a state wherein I identified with the totality of my experience of consciousness, you I, as observer, was still separate in the sense I was aware that I was THE witness of the whole show.

Then, when the meditation period ended, I returned to being a human, dressed in black robes, walking down a snow-filled path towards the chanting hall, or upwards towards Roshi’s cabin, for our face-to-face meeting to check my mind.

I used to wonder which state was real—the unity with consciousness state found in meditation, or the black-robed human body state.

The answer is: what is true depends on YOU in the moment.  You can take yourself to be a human when you allow it, or you can be in unity with consciousness, and also its observer, if and when you prefer this hugely expanded and hugely more peaceful “reality.”  But, when you decide to fully reenter the human state, you are also aware or your different level of existence as everything, and also as nothing within that everything, and that you are even beyond that everything as its self-aware witness that itself cannot actually be witnessed, because it has no form, or characteristic, no feeling, by which it can be seen itself or experienced itself. 

That witness is entirely beyond consciousness and IS not of this world.

30 January 2017

Consciousness, Emptiness, I-Am

Satsang January 29, 2017

The nature of Consciousness, Emptiness, Awareness, the Manifest and Unmanifest Self. A video.....


29 January 2017


GO TO: HTTP://satsangwithedji.weebly.com


27 January 2017

Upon deep reflection and inner attention, the emptiness within is found to be exactly the same as the space around us. Inner time, subjective time, like external clock time, measures the arising and disappearance of objects.  Inner and outer space/time is the container of all objects of consciousness.  But all arise from and are swallowed by nothingness while the eternal I in each of us watches. This the truth.

Experiencing Versus Reading

It is 10,000 times more “enlightening” to be able to watch yourself slowly awaken into somethingness (consciousness), and then at night to watch your somethingness, your consciousness, slowly submerge and dissipate into nothingness, than it is to read all 3,000 pages of Robert’s transcripts 10,000 times, which talk about Nothingness and Consciousness, . If you just read about Nothingness and consciousness from Robert or from Nisargadatta, you only learn a concept which you try to fill in with your own experience in order to make the concept of nothingness your own.  But it ever will only be a concept.
But when you can watch your consciousness as you, including your sense of presence, your mind, and your awareness arise from nothingness and set there too, it is no longer a concept. You know that nothingness is your true nature, and somethingness, consciousness, comes and goes, like a dream. It is insubstantial, ephemeral, transient, while nothingness is the great unknown, the complete rest, and complete peace and freedom.
        And, you also learn that YOU are aware of the entire process of something arising and setting into nothingness, and you are separate from both. You are that which is aware of the entire process of consciousness arising and setting, and you are also aware of of the flip side, of nothingness which gives birth to consciousness, and absorbs consciousness at its end.
With this you are free from life and death. You know consciousness and its setting. Each day you are born into consciousness, and each evening you die into it, and yet you have watched the whole process as apart from you.
You are that which is aware of life and death.
But to just read about it does not really help you much. For you the entire talk about consciousness and nothingness is just words, concepts, and you will continue to compare Ramana’s words against Muktananda’s, and Robert’s without EVER knowing for yourself until after you stop reading about it, and start investigating for yourself through self-inquiry and by watching the awakening process, and when that is mastered, watching the sinking into Nothingness process.
Then you will never again fear death, for nothingness is infinite, and the metaphorical womb for your consciousness, which is exactly the same as everyone else’s, as is your nothingness.

23 January 2017


It is so very, very easy to have spiritual discussions after reading dozens of spiritual books and doing some but of meditation.  But it is so hard to find students that really want to dive deeply into spirituality, but so few are able to let go of all their learning, and become spiritually stupid, or empty.
 When I speak about the emptiness that I experience, the Void.  Very few who listen have either seen or felt the inner emptiness, the inner space that interpenetrates all objects or mind, all feelings, all energies, and bliss.  Nor have they seen the light of Consciousness that illumines my inner world.

        Nor do they know about their own sense of presence, because for most, it is only a concept, not a direct, ongoing experience.

       Most have no idea about the I Am sensation, let alone experience it.  Nor after years of abiding there know the difference between I as the observer, and the sense of presence as the I Amness.
Fewer still now that everything that is, is consciousness.  All that we ever know is known through our minds and senses; thus all that we know is consciousness, its properties and its objects.
Many more experience the fires of consciousness, Shakti, Kundalini, bliss, or see flowing patterns of multicolored light flowing in and around the heart to various parts of their bodies. Few have learned how to eat emotions, by accepting them, abiding in them, then bring them into your most intimate heart-sense, and thereby integrating them into your sense of presence in a flash of bliss that might last a day of being unable to move because of the depth of bliss.  They call this aspect of Self the divine feminine, but all sentient creatures have its manifestation potentially within.

         Nor does more than a very few the difference between consciousness and awareness, where awareness is consciousness of being aware of awareness, and that being conscious of awareness gives you access to the deepest level of the Manifest Self, the ultimate first person, which Ramakant calls “The Selfless Self.”
  The Selfless Self, is the ultimate first person, the primary knower, the hearer, watcher, and primary intelligence directing attention.  It is the executive functioning of all that is in consciousness.
Beyond all this is the Unmanifest Self, the noumenal, non-existent self of Nothingness, potential, from which the Manifest Self springs.
        When I speak to all these levels—and there are many, many more—there are so few who can listen.  They think I am mad, living in my mind or imagined inner worlds.  But these are as clear to me as is the experience of being in a powerful muscle car is for the average male teenager.
What a tremendous journey one steps into when they stop reading about spirituality and instead plunge into spirituality through intense and long meditation, self-inquiry, pondering the meaning of each experience and deepening each by attending within.  But it takes fearlessness to let go of the world and plunge within.  It take commitment to continue when nothing seems to happen.  And it takes—most of all—persistence, and that comes when you realize that there is nothing in the external world for you.  For me, it was not a recognition that I had given it up, but actually knowing that in my disinterest, the world lost interest in me.  It gave me freedom and helped me along in my inner journey.