19 May 2019

I am still distracted by multiple medical symptoms mentioned last week. But I encourage our Sangha to meet at Satsang as usual, speak to each other or be silent.
11 AM, Arizona time (Same as California daylight time now)
Link: https://zoom.us/j/2950292557?status=success

11 May 2019

LIVE SATSANG ONLINE, 11 AM, Arizona time (Same as California daylight time now)
I teach how to transmute human love and sexual desire into divine love and total surrender leading to God-realization. But this same process can be used to overcome depression, loss of interest in the world and similar sorts of psychic paralysis. It is dualistic, regaining interest in and love of life. It is all about relearning how to feel.

07 May 2019

Something wonderful is happening in our sangha

Something wonderful is now happening in our sangha: my students are waking each other up with their deep love and attachment as well as expressions of this love. My students are becoming teachers, and they do not even realize it.

Our sangha is now filled with many brave and deep souls who feel the divine stirring in them as both deep emotions and as Shakti. Emotions are made of Shakti, and when we can begin to feel deep and powerful emotions clearly, they begin to dissolve into their components of Shakti, increasing a person’s sense of bliss and love. Love pervades our sangha now and more and more people are feeling deep emotional awakenings as well as precursor experiences to God realization.

I myself have had a deeper realization of the teachings I have been passing on for the past nine years, and that is that deep devotional love along with accompanying sexual desire can lead to God realization by the transmutation of our human love into divine love which opens us to a new dimension of living where we are taken out of the mundane into the life divine.

I was made even more aware of this after Satsang this past Sunday. I was sitting in my easy chair doing nothing when suddenly a vision of a beautiful woman came to me. She was no one I ever met, or have seen in person. I cannot even describe her features now. But she looked at me in a way that startled me and broke my heart open. She looked at me with wide eyes and total attention with the biggest smile of acceptance and recognition, like she had known me all of her life and we met after years of separation. I felt immediate deep love and instant surrender. I just wanted to fall to her feet in complete surrender.

Besides this complete heart opening, I felt a strong sexual desire in my body which moved and merged with the openhearted love I felt. I had been swept out of the mundane world and into the world of the divine in a way like never before. The love and sexual feeling transmuted, becoming ever more subtle, yet at the same time more powerful. It was like a feeling I had never felt before of utter rest in the divine, God. My body was ecstatic in a new and deeper way feeling a completed sexual desire and resting in my love. Now I recognized in the deepest way the truth I had been preaching now for years, that within the everyday act of love between two humans, romantic love, there are adumbrations of the divine which normally are never felt.

That is, there is a deep spiritual aspect of every romantic connections between two human souls that mostly goes unrecognized because people easily become lost in a much more mundane level of sexuality and human relational love with images of cuddling and romance.  These are roles that are marked by clear boundaries, and clear goals of matrimony and other associated images and ideals.

But hidden within every romantic relationship, if you rise above focusing on sexual aspects and images of companionship and cuddling, there is a dimension of the divine which is almost always missed unless we are fortunate and it becomes the primary focus of attention during the romance. If we focus on the divine aspect, of opening our hearts and minds completely to another, in really holy matrimony, we leave the dimension of humanity and enter into the heart of God within ourselves, then our lives are entirely transformed. We have become the self, Atman, and also God, Brahman, simultaneously.

Both love and sex in the highest spheres are manifestations of the most esoteric aspects of the spiritual lives which we are. They are not to be denigrated as merely human, or offensive, and rejected as not spiritual. In fact, they are the heart of spirituality.

Then this vision disappeared. She was no more. I had been visited by the heart of femininity, the archetype female aspect of love. It was a vision to confirm what I have been teaching. I was left with the sure knowledge that what I had been teaching is more profoundly true than even I had known. Now my students are learning this directly from each other. Their love for each other is palpable and transformative because they focus on the divine within our sangha relationships.

04 May 2019

LIVE SATSANG ONLINE, 11 AM, Arizona time (Same as California daylight time now)

Link: https://zoom.us/j/2950292557?status=success

I teach how to transmute human love and sexual desire into divine love and total surrender leading to God-realization. But this same process can be used to overcome depression, loss of interest in the world and similar sorts of psychic paralysis. It is dualistic, regaining interest in and love of life. It is all about relearning how to feel.

03 May 2019


Kali has an extremely rare and very aggressive type of cancer known as chloangiosarcoma growing out of the bile ducts in her liver. The usual lifespan after diagnosis is one to six months.  The mass was surgically removed along with the left lobe of her liver on Match 26, with a 99% success. But there were cancer cells seen to the margin which abutted the main liver artery.

Kali responded very well to surgery, and within a week was running around, jumping and climbing like a kitten.  She ate well too and gained weight.

After a consult with her oncologist, Kali had her first chemotherapy session on April 23, where she was given carboplatin which she tolerated well  until she developed signs of a urinary infection a week later, likely due to repressed immune system from the chemo.

Actually, I was surprised the oncologist recommended because the research I did prior to our appointment indicated chemo was largely, if not entirely ineffective on this form of cancer, but chemo treatment was the only topic she raised.

After we got Kali home I did more research and found that carboplatin showed some ability to slow the cancer in only 17 to 36% in humans, with no studies indicating effectiveness in cats.  I eventually found three studies that said treatment showed it was totally ineffective at slowing the cancer or prolonging her life.

So, two days ago we attempted to contact our former holistic vet who treated our cat Sweetie, who lived 14 months beyond her expected death time.  We are awaiting consult.

I know many people have recommended CBD oil, but all beneficial claims are all anecdotal—individuals claiming success without mentioning the failures of the oil.  There are absolutely no studies on the effectiveness of CBD oil on treating chloangiosarcoma either in humans or animals.  I am sure none will be available on any treatment Dr. Pasternak suggests either, but at least his suggestions will flow from 25 years of treating cancers in dogs and cats.

I have to say Kali has never been more affectionate and loving than now.  All the weird symptoms of anxiety she had displayed are gone.  The only meds she is taking now is to help bring down her high liver enzyme levels.

Kali is one of the most loved cats ever treated at Midwestern University where she had her surgery and chemo.  Everyone loved her and played with her, and remarking how loving and playful she was.

Kerima and I are both depressed.  This is the first time I have really felt depression in 22 years since my cat Gopi died, also of cancer.  I also feel entirely lonely in this, and almost entirely mundane.  The feeling inside myself where I usually met God, the life force, has changed. Usually it feels like a heart joining with white light and a friendly, gentle energy. 

Now it is no longer white, and is a swollen gray, with an entirely depressed inner feeling. I am surprised that God can be sad also.

I would have more new photos of Kali. But since we moved, I cannot find ANY of my photo equipment.  I only have an iPad now for photos.

29 April 2019

Total surrender, to God or a human, is God realization.  It is pure emptiness, pure silence, pure openness, and pure, subtle bliss.  You will never be happier in life--ever!


25 April 2019

I have frequently been accused by my students of being histrionic, calling me a drama queen. But I have noticed that without fail, they too become drama queens after dealing with me for a time. This is my Siddhi.

21 April 2019


With self-realization or God-realization as I have defined it, as recognizing I am not the body or mind, but life itself, one enters a new dimension of being and no longer is a captive to the world.

It is THE way out of the suffering afforded by everyday life, a 9-5 job, children, parents, bills, education, career, etc. Primarily you live in a different dimension of the life force, of liquidy-light and energy absent the density of the body, although you still have a body, and the monkey distractions of the mind.

Mundane life is a terrible burden and impediment to spiritual life. It robs us of energy, of perseverance, or silence and privacy during which to practice self-abidance and self-submergence.

Perseverance though will win in the end through self-abidance and self-love, or the separate devotional track of a deep love and total surrender to another, whether a lover, guru, or a cat. But it must be a love like never before, or total surrender.

18 April 2019


I teach about incarnational spirituality in the sense that the realized being’s primary identity is being a spirit, but also a spirit embodied in a human physical form.

Before self-realization most people consider themselves only as people, as body-minds embedded in society and in multiple tribal and familial contexts. However, the self or God realization experiences are an internal opening of both spiritual vision and spiritual feeling where you recognize that you are really the inner subjectivity of spirit and only secondarily an embodied spirit.

People who have this God realization experience of their spiritual nature and the identity of God also with that same spirit, no longer think of themselves as being only human. They know deep down that they are spirit, the inner life force that brings sentient to insensate flesh. Later they may realize the same life force is also God, whether incarnate as a human, or as the universal principle of sentience.

One who has realized self and God both, as the spiritual element that is their subjectivity, they can never really fully return to the world of ordinary human existence. Not that they do not suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune, but they always feel the presence of God in their own lives, in their own self.

The voice of God, or the life force, is what I call Shakti, the experience of various forms of inner energy within the body and one’s own sense of presence. Each of us, with meditation, devotion, and love, can begin to feel these inner energies that flow, expand and contract, in multiple ways. Sometimes they are experienced as circulating paths of colored energies. Sometimes they are experienced as sheer bliss or ecstasies.

Sometimes they are experienced as rising energies with an associated heat, or descending energies that may actually feel cold. However, after shorter or longer periods of time these energies become identified as a new body within and around oneself that extends a few inches or a few feet from your body as well as inter-penetrates the body within. I call this my sense of presence. It is like a ghost form of energy that inhabits and surrounds my physical body, and is in constant communication with the external world of energies. This sense of presence gradually becomes one’s real body, and the physical body quickly becomes secondary. One’s attention is constantly drawn to one’s sense of presence, and inwardly to the life force within.

One of the most graphic descriptions of this process of self-realization is described by Ramana Maharishi as finding himself within as spirit as a result of his death experience.

I describe my own self-realization experience, which occurred not as a result of the death experience, but as an experience of being fully alive in my book, Self-Realization and Other Awakenings.

14 April 2019

Kindle My Heart's Flame With Thine

Feeling the divine rapture by listening to Ed's words about surrender and devotion.  Ed describes the rapture to be found in God-realization or in devotional surrender to your own Beloved. In many it will evokes that experience.


13 April 2019

Live Satsang online, Sunday 11 AM, Arizona time

Believe Nothing!  Just become aware of what an empty mind feels like: open, empty, infinite, and inviting.  This is your natural state.  No need to try to make it last.  Just feel inwardly and this will happen to you.

From this state, feel love.  Remember what it was like when you loved deeply.  Let love gradually return.  Then the energies can come, and then you unfold spontaneously.

12 April 2019

eMail to me today.

What You offer goes far beyond anything.
It has nothing to do with the mundane world, with mundane life and wishes.
You offer me to worship, to feel, to fall on my knees, to have fantasy, yearning about surrender, about love so deep that nothing is left.
You eMail to me todayoffer to be loved with all my heart.

06 April 2019

Satsang online, Sunday 11 AM, Arizona time

For me, my spiritual journey has been twofold: an inward path towards self-realization, followed by an outgroup path towards love, devotion, surrender, and God-realization. I really believe that both parents are necessary for completion and for any real degree of enlightenment. I think straight and later is only half story and cashmere Shaivism is only the other half.

In this Satsang, I will talk about the readiness to travel either leg of the journey, and the characteristics needed for self and or God realization.

05 April 2019

There is nothing at all normal about adopting a deep spiritual practice.

It is not normal nor easy to change the direction of one’s attention away from the world and those around you, inwards towards feeling for the I-sensation, focusing attention on any of the chakras, doing visualizations, or even doing nothing as a meditation. These are not instinctive actions of a normally adjusted person in our society.

It is also not normal to fall so deeply in love with another person, a lover, a guru, even a celebrity, or with some nonhuman entity or historical figure such as Jesus, that your whole life and every bit of your attention revolves around the other. This is considered an obsession and unhealthy to most people.

Therefore, it is altogether rare to find a person that is engaged for even one year in some sort of deeply spiritual process such as meditation, self-inquiry, or pursuing abject devotion.

Most people who considered themselves to be seekers only read books, attend seminars, and perhaps attend one or two retreats in their lifetime. Such a person never penetrates even 1 inch into the deep body of spirituality, of God or self. Yet often they think of themselves as experts and give advice, or actually considered themselves to be enlightened because they understand Nisargadatta or Ramana.

Only someone who has been in spiritual practice for decades, has had numerous awakening or near awakening experiences, has practiced meditation for thousands of hours, or who has spent years with spiritual teachers, or who has loved another so deeply and completely and thereby emptied the depths of their being in surrender, even begins to know the depths of the treasure that is of one’s own self.

Spirituality is not about knowledge. If anything, it is about escaping from knowledge, even previous knowledge about one’s own self. It means dropping all concepts, even those gleaned from reading hundreds of books about Ramana, or Nisargadatta, or Ramakrishna, or Buddha. You really do have to become dumb as a rock allowing you to see everything inside of you anew without concepts, without trying to glean any new understandings, but instead become simpleminded, innocent, yet aware without trying to learn. You just allow yourself and the world to unfold within and without you without engaging the mind. This begets wisdom. It is not a learned thing. It is an acquired depth of beingness.

Truly it takes decades of steady introspective persistence, either through meditation or deep devotion to gain this wisdom, which has nothing at all to do with knowledge. Instead, one learns to sink into the heart, into the body, into life and feel the pulsations of the universe within you. The mind has to be abandoned totally, leaving you feeling empty and alone, naked but unafraid.

The great teachers of Advaita, such as Ramana, Nisargadatta, or Robert Adams all lived and studied themselves all their lives, at least for 50 years of practice. Only then can we really call them self-realized, because they live through themselves not about themselves. They have escaped the mind and live the truth as only they can express it, as they have become truth, which is often the very different from the truth of their teacher, different from Buddha, different from Christ. Each one sings the song of their time whether it is of devotion or of inwardness. Each generation must find a different song for the world as it is then including its culture, science, level of civilization, ethics and mores. But always the message is of stepping outside of the normal, the usual, the mundane, stepping out of logic, convention, and the expected. These are all seen as being traps, impediments to authentic expression of one’s own self.

Email to me today:

Ed, thank you for your teaching and guidance. My gratitude does not tire. Neither does my Love.

The tone with which you speak is so very moving. You truly breathe life into the hollowness of words. You truly sing. The words can be thrown away, yet still there is melody from the deep. I feel very blessed to hear your song, and connect to your rhythm.

To be in your presence once a week is the treasure of a lifetime. What you have instilled in me I will cherish as the pearl of my heart, so long as I am this.

02 April 2019


Surgeon will refer her for oncology consult in two weeks after her incision heals for a chemo consult. Dr. Maki says prognosis is a few months to a year. Said not to try to keep her alive a long time but provide the best pain free life for her for the time she has left.

Kerima and I are shattered.

31 March 2019



It is all about a spirituality of having an incarnate spirit

30 March 2019


Go to: https://zoom.us/j/2950292557?status=success at 10:30 and set with us in silence or chanting. Satsang begins at 11.

Why I teach the way of divine incarnation as opposed to Robert’s and Nisargadatta’s way of the absolute, the unborn.

Nisargadatta’s and Ramana’s teachings really are for old souls, who have already realized God and have tasted deep and long of divine bliss, grace, and love. Both teach about the state where there is no time, no space, no experience and no experiencer. Even many of great saints will dive deeply into that abyss find themselves dragged back into the world to seek God, grace, and love.

So really, I urge you not to be beguiled by Advaita or the Buddhist concept of Nirvana. Both are for those totally ready to leave life.

Instead, I encourage people to seek the life force within themselves, the divine, the vision and energetic experience of God within themselves, because this experience changes everything. One gradually this identifies with the mundane world they lived in, and enters a world of love, sacrifice, surrender, bliss, divine energies, and helpfulness to all beings and everywhere by the actions they do in the words they speak.

As Robert so clearly pointed out to his students Satsang after Satsang, the Jnani is the most useless of beings. He or she is so lazy they sometimes cannot be bothered to eat. They are no longer of this world, but not in the way of the yogi. Rather they are beyond the world in the sense it has no interest in them and they pay no heed to it. They were out of this world. As Robert’s wife Nicole used to say to me, “I keep expecting a flying saucer to land and take Robert back to his planet.” That is how out of the world she experienced them to be, as did most other people.

The same can be found about Ramana, and Nisargadatta often said in his final talks that he could not wait to leave, any of the leaving would not be too much of a trouble for him. That is, he wanted to die peacefully.

I know many of you are in deep psychological or physical pain and you are looking for escape. You may have thought of suicide. You may have thought of dropping everything and becoming a monk. You may have thought of living by yourself in the woods or the countryside in India. But unless you have a teacher, either someone like Robert Adams who can take you to the unborn state, or someone like myself teaches the spirituality of the divine, of realizing yourself present incarnation of God and that living this way as a light for all, you will waste your time. You really need a teacher. It is so hard to find one’s way out of self-delusion, especially just by reading a book by Robert, Ramana, Nisargadatta, or many books about Kasmir Shaivism, all that knowledge is intellectual and not transformational. Only major experiences in the realm of feeling, the divine, God our transformative, while experiencial understanding of the unborn state text you entirely beyond life.

The unborn state is often briefly touched by experienced meditators who find it absolutely restful, it is not a state for the human race as a whole. We as a species are on the brink of self annihilation through climate change, as well as total species collapse of all living beings. But we need now is a kind of salvation that is uplifting, empowering, with more universal compassion and ability to act in this way as opposed to the uselessness of the unborn state.

27 March 2019

Everything is story; literally, all existence, all forms and everything you touch, taste or feel is created by definitions and stories in your mind. History, science, politics, society, religion and spirituality, all are but a series of concepts, and the reality of these resides in our minds. When you understand this, it is possible to escape from whatever "reality" your mind has created in you, whether it is a life of poverty and disease somewhere in Africa or Asia, or a life of wealth and relative safety somewhere in northern Europe. In all of these places, the reality depends on the stories that circulate in our minds, and the strength of our belief in these ideas.

That is, life for everyone is almost totally a fantasy process, one that divides Arabs, from Christians, from Buddhists, from Democrats, from Republicans, from Northerners or Southerners. All division is created by mind.

26 March 2019

Kali has successfully survived surgery! 

She is in post-op now. About 98% of the tumor was removed along the entire left lobe of her liver. The tumor and a sample from an enlarged lymph node will be sent out to determine if the tumor is malignant. The surgeon said the chances are about 50-50. If it is, then she will get chemotherapy.

Her body temperature is a little low postop, which worries me, because that also occurred with Gopi, my beloved cat 10 years ago post surgery for a mass in her lower intestine. She never awakened after surgery, and had a stroke or heart attack about four hours after surgery.

I am quite concerned that the surgeon now estimated about a 50-50 chance for a malignancy which would require chemotherapy. If it is a local tumor only, because hundred percent is not removed, it could begin to regrow, but she would likely outlive the regrowing tumor.

I am not much relieved by the news, mainly because she is away from home in a strange place for the next day or two. She has never been away from home before for more than an hour or two going to a veterinarian.

25 March 2019

She has a 5 cm mass on the left lobe or her liver. 

Symptomatically it manifests as nervousness and fear which gradually went away with Prosac. Two liver enzymes are highly elevated and the mass has doubled in size over the last 12 weeks. An ultrasound appears to show a non-malignant cystic, but one lymph node is highly enlarged. Her kidneys display deterioration consistent with her age (13), but not yet clinically manifest.There is a grade 3 heart murmmer.
We are very worried but hope for the best. She is at the new Midwest University Companion Animal Complex. Surgery costs about $3,000.

Been giving her energy treatments for months to no avail.
She used to sleep on my hand 13 years ago as a snow white furball.

23 March 2019

Quieting the mind means using willpower to end thinking or long meditation. But such a forced ending does not bring wisdom or freedom. The latter requires that we feel lonely or uncomfortable if the mind is not constantly entertaining us. When we see its chatter, daydreams, and fears are just an empty entertainment supported only by habit, it loses its power and we rest in our self.

Ed explains how to see through the mind and find what lies below it


Enlightenment is not a silent mind,

but one that is unmoving

There is a widespread myth in some corners of spiritual philosophy, that all that is needed to become awakened or enlightened, is a “silent mind.” Usually, silent mind is not defined, therefore one assumes that “silent” implies there is no evidence of internal “voices” or self-talk.

Other interpretations include having a mind that is void of any cognitive activity at all, including imaging, hearing, thinking, planning, speculating, analyzing, etc., but such a definition would not differentiate between someone who is dead or asleep.

In fact, well-practiced meditators easily develop access to what I call the void, or repeated experiences of complete emptiness, which is the cessation of all active or passive mentation, which is experienced as a wide-open expanse inside the head extending outward into the physical body and surrounding environment. In this state there is no cognition we usually associate with the brain at all, such as dreaming, thinking, analysis, etc. The center of consciousness appears to drop from the brain area downwards into the body or more specifically the gut or heart level.

This state which may be called a silent mind, is characterized by what I would call an ultra-clarity of consciousness wherein the senses seem to be performing at a heightened level but without the distraction of any thoughts or cognitive ability that separates the meditator from the phenomena being perceived. That is, it appears the meditator, although he cannot say anything while this process is happening, that there is no longer any separation between the meditator as subject, and what is experienced as phenomena or objects. There is no longer an external objective world. There is just one consciousness with no “inner” and no “outer” world. There is just unity consciousness. But this thought would never cross the mind of someone in that state. There is no room for words or summarization of what the state means while one is in that state. It is only afterwards that you can speak about the experience.

This is what I assume that Zen master Seung Sahn means by keeping a clear mind, a mind with no thoughts, and by being dumb as a rock, because in this state I speak of, thought processes are not possible, so in a sense, you are very dumb, unable to formulate thoughts or deductions.

But this is a mistake. This type of silent mind is temporary, and when ended, and the mind returns, the mind has just as much hold over you as it had before you entered the special state. The state of crystal clear mind, of emptiness, of the great void, is always temporary, and when the mind returns, one has not changed at all. The personality has not changed, ways of thinking have not changed, the only thing that seems to happen is become addicted to having that crystal-clear silent mind.

I think a state described by several ancient Zen Masters by the two words “Unmoving Mind” is closer to what these Zen masters and many other spiritual teachers mean by awakening or enlightenment.

This state is characterized by a total indifference to what the mind is doing or saying. That is, the individual goes about the tasks of everyday life or whatever concerns him or her in what could be called a mindless way. By that I mean the activities of the mind do not “catch” the person’s attention. The mind keeps talking, planning, speculating, stating its wants, needs, but the individual pays no attention to the internal passing show of words, images, and even emotions. To him or her, they are meaningless distractions, while the ordinary person is entirely captured by the mind’s mentations.

Contrary to what many spiritual people think, emotions are more fundamental to the individual than is thinking. Some spiritual teachers say that all emotions are caused by thinking, by thoughts, such as judgments or are triggered by memories. This is not my experience. My experience is that emotions, or the experience of emotions, are centered deeper in the body and thoughts which are almost universally perceived as being somewhere near the head or inside the head. Emotions when carefully perceived are found to be centered in the area of the heart.

When one is in a state of the Unmoving Mind, even emotions can come and go without catching the individual’s attention, and can pass easily as a thought out of the mind and one’s experience of their bodies. However, it is my experience that becoming unattached to emotions is harder to come by than becoming detached from thoughts and imaging.

In this Unmoving Mind, one is certainly not dead but totally alive and pretty well focused on whatever tasks the person is doing without the distraction of dozens or hundreds of thoughts or emotions. It is not like the crystal-clear state of the silent mind, but has some of the same qualities of emptiness to it, in the sense that one’s consciousness is more global and also not distracted by thoughts one could say it does not move under the influence of thoughts or emotions, yet  one is not dull or slow minded at all. It is just that one’s awareness is more expansive and not razor focused on what the mind or heart is saying from moment to moment. The individual, whoever that central executive may be, whether called soul, Atman, Brahman, or I, if no longer considers the spinning mind or emotions to be important enough to take note of. But that unknown self can still actively use the mind and feel emotions when they become important to any given task at hand. One can go from no minded nailing two boards together, to a very thoughtful and careful reading of blueprints followed by careful calculations as to what is to be done with the materials at hand to fulfill the blueprint.

It is this Unmoving Mind that I believe is king, not the silent mind of crystal clarity that is temporary. The Unmoving Mind eventually becomes permanent after one sees through the futility of paying attention to it. The endless self-talk judgments, the daydreaming, and all the other kind of random mentation that takes place constantly, is seen to have no import, and that mentation should only be used or followed when necessary to complete a task or function.

This Unmoving Mind is not obtained as a result of meditation at all, but rather by “seeing through” the meaningless fantasy process of random mentation to the point that it is ignored. In this sense, the Unmoving Mind is a result of wisdom, not of meditation, concentration or focusing.

It comes through a process by which you see that the mind is useless, generating stories about what may be, what should be, or may have been. These are all wild and random speculations we are always doing to no avail because usually they are totally without merit or accuracy. The mind spins and we think what it is saying is important. But it is not. The central executive, Atman, realizes that speculations about the external world or one’s own place in that world is utter fantasy, utterly useless, just a playing in the sandbox while the real world goes by. That real world is the experience of the world and ourselves that is constantly taking place underneath the realm of thought and mentation.

Yet for centuries we see people trying to meditate and encountering difficulties of quieting or stilling the mind. They struggle with the mind to silence it. They feel frustrated and angry because they cannot seem to still the mind, when stilling the mind only leads to that special clear mind state, but not to the Unmoving Mind, which results from understanding that most of the mind’s activities are merely a secondary useless game which the mind takes seriously.

21 March 2019


Seung Sahn taught a special sort of Zen that amounted to one thing: Don’t be attached to words!

This simple principle is not easily mastered.

It means when you listen to a teacher or  your spouse, don’t get caught by their words.  Your spouse knows how to verbally get your goat.  As long as they still can, you are still caught by words.  If a teachers speaks to you about the wonders of self-realization, and you then ask, “How can I get that?,” you are caught by words.

Suppose you wife says, “You have been ignoring me all day long,” how do you respond? Argue with her about the truth of her statement?  Would you say, “Sorry honey, but I have been preoccupied with Zen koans.”

Seung Sahn would say in both situations you are captured by words. Even saying “Sorry honey” means you have bought into her story and you are trying to avoid an argument, or are sincerely concerned about her own story-generated emotions.

A correct Zen answer might be, “Seems cold in here, where do we store our blankets?”  You respond, but not following even one word or her story, trying  to get her out of her head into perceiving the world.  Some may feel infuriated with your response, but this is Seung Sahn’s way of ignoring her words, for they are just part of your usual routine, and try to take her to her surroundings.

Or, if you are devious, you can make up a lie that makes her feel good.

His point is, don’t get caught by words. Refuse to accept someone else’s story, your spouses, or Donald Trump.  It is all false news.

This is why I teach by directly transmitting energies by all kinds of means, including words and voice, because we join each other in the same experience, the same story without using mundane stories, but by uplifting experiences.

19 March 2019

Working and playing with Shakti

Your acquaintance with Shakti usually comes in stages. The first is when you begin to feel tingling sensations inside, for example like the tingling you feel in your feet when you concentrate on them for several seconds.

After little while you will begin experiencing tingling throughout your entire body. Then it begins to change and instead of random tingling sensations, sensations become more organized and begin to flow in strains of energy. At first the streams will be disorganized, and after shorter or longer period of time will become organized and flowing as patterns within your body, often in counter or clockwise rotations around your heart or as flowung energy streams up and down from your pereneum to the top of your cranium and back again. At any point along the way it can help to find a book on visualizing chakras and visualizing the flow of energies between the chakras.

These flows will become more and more pleasant and also more intense. Over weeks or months they can grow in great intensity and you can begin to have periods of bliss which over more weeks increase into powerful ecstasies. Some may begin to experience sexual orgasms and nonsexual orgasms, the nonsexual not involving the genitals but centered in the gut, heart, or skull.

At this point you can spend long periods of time in intense ecstasy, so sweet and so ecstatic, you do not want to move for fear of disturbing these ecstatic sensations. Also, for some the orgasms begin to turn from what feels to be nerve based to completely heart-based sensations of divine devotion, devotion to God or love of God. There seems to be a transmutation from the human nervous system to more subtle energetic sensory apparati centered in the heart.

The period of working with energies like this can last a long time. Often people so moved become energy workers or healers learning how to work with energies to heal people or one’s own self. Often you begin to feel or experience visions of God, having feelings of utter devotion and surrender to God, guru, or another person, such as a fellow Bhakta.

One can spend years in thus working with energies always becoming more varied in their manifestation and feeling and more amenable to follow them your direction and to flow as you want to for healing or other purposes.

And after a while, the gross sensations of circulating ecstatic energy begin to soften, often almost disappearing entirely, but returning being replaced by a different sensation of being immersed in a vast energy field that does not feel like electricity or Shakti, but has a substance similar to water but not as dense, and which feels very comforting, very restful, very healing, and feels complete. You feel immersed in infinite, invisible, yet tactile fluid-ether which itself feels alive surrounding you, and embracing you.

At this point there comes another realization and that is that you are no longer of the human world, the mundane world of everyday life, of paying rent bills, cleaning, running errands, watching TV, and perusing the Internet for the latest news. Instead you rest in this ocean of Shakti, this divine fluid which surrounds you, enters and penetrates you, and flows everywhere as life itself.

Though your body goes through the motions of mundane life life, you are no longer of this mundane life. Your attention is always on yourself in this liquid Shakti. Everything becomes permeated and responsive to Shakti. People may want you sitting in front of the television and wonder why a spiritual person watches TV, but you are barely aware of the TV. You are actually aware of the ether, the life which embraces everything around you, some may even call this God, but you would never attach a word like that a label like that to this experience.

Now when you do meet people, you do not pay much attention to what they say, but the song that their beingness sings to you. You feel who they are, you sense them with your fingers and with your body. This is really who they are and what song they sing. You smell and taste the sweetness or bitterness of their presence. You feel their fear and their love. You are now and in very different world, no longer a site, sound or smell, but in the immediate grasping of there being directly.

Now when you speak to a group of people, they do not listen to your words, they listen to the song the tune your words evoke in their heart. They feel your energy within as the movement of Shakti within their own body mind. You can begin to direct Shakti around people and within yourself. With the movement of your finger you can adjust the currents flowing in the room, or in the space around your listeners, playing on their minds, playing on their hearts, playing with their nervous systems seducing them with the feeling of God within.

People sense the God within you, and feel a profound rest, profound peace, profound settling, as well as the flowing of Shakti within the various ways mentioned before as beginning Bhaktas feeling shocked by the new energies and divine visions, all the while enjoining them to go ever deeper into themselves where they encountered ever deepening bliss.

At this point you can really begin playing with Shakti you can heal and move energy fields like you never did before. You can bring peace to large number of people all at once in a group. In can make many people want to drop to their knees and worship God and surrender to God’s presence. You can look at them and they will feel God within. You can move your finger around in a circle and direct the energies in the Rome to circulate freely between each person bringing many to ecstasy.

This is the beginning of your life as teacher, as master, a servant of God.

17 March 2019


Who Am I?  I am Life Itself!

With Self-realization, you discover that God, you, and the world are simultaneously the same.  Together you are the life-force invigorating matter.

The experience is that you disappear in an explosion of light, power, and incredible bliss which lingers for a long time. From this point you realize you are the life-force, God, Atman, and you as a person.  Infinite white light, infinite power, the owner and bestower of all creation.

How do you realize this?  Follow Shakti who is God speaking to you, drawing you inwards  towards the experience of infinite bliss, grace, and power within.

16 March 2019



Human lives are mostly about living out stories, most often repetitive and mundane, while a few live in search of what life is from the inside, as life exploring life.  The latter often start out feeling alienated and alone because they find few others like themselves and spend much of their lives fighting inclusion into the mundane world of the Matrix.

If we are lucky, we turn away from the world early and spend more time discovering ourselves as spirit, as non-material, non-entities living in an experiential world or ever-changing energies and potential.

Such a world appears very unstable because it has no fixed stories, no fables like the American Dream, becoming a doctor or corporate raider.  It is a fluid and often scary existence with no roof or floor, no certainty, no security except when it trusts itself.
But living life from within rather than from without allows you to live life as spirit, spontaneously from within, far deeper than from the mind’s stories.  When you live from within, you live life as an incarnation of the divine.  You are no longer human, but a spiritual non-entity enjoying God’s work.

03 March 2019

Demons, Entities, and the Mundane World: Reality or Illusion
Everything is Mind, from the mundane world of the common reality we all share, to astral worlds, entities, and demons. But there are deeper levels within, the emotional level, the energetic level of Shakti, also pure beingness and beyond.

Those who discover and reside in the deeper levels of Self know both the ordinary common world as well as the world of the astral, of entities, demons, and energy vampires, are all dreamlike and lack the reality of experience without.

02 March 2019


I see that several of my students are experiencing problems because of belief in energetic entities, demons, energy vampires and all kinds of other worldly phenomena.

I want to go into this subject deeply including total escape from such entities and possessions.

There are people genuinely possessed, but they are possessed by different and split-off sections of their own minds. And if your own mind lacks integration, these splits that fall outside of your normal awareness can cause problems. These are problems of dissociation from the so-called common reality, which itself is just a common dream.

25 February 2019


The man who escapes the tyranny of words is free to use them to control the hearts, minds, and behaviors of others.

The vast mass of humanity are controlled by words, mores, political correctness, and social niceties. This is exactly the Matrix concept presented by the movie trilogy of the same name. People are raised from birth within a consensual matrix, freedom from which is very, very difficult to obtain.

Not only must one have learned how to watch the mind and thoughts as they arise, but they must realize that there is nt even one thought that has a single experiential object that it aims at.

The word ‘chair’ points or defines a set of object that has billions of objects, very few f which we will ever see r experience.  The same with all nouns—they don’t point to anything except an idea which defines a theoretic set of objects, processes, actions, or behaviors. When we get away from simple nouns of everyday life, into nouns and verbs that claim to describe invisible worlds of sub atomic particles, quantum mechanics, or gravity waves, we are sunk even more deeply into the mind’s creations, and, in fact, we get caught up into the infinite entertainment of playing with the mnd’s ability to imagine things, from abstract algebra, Riemannian Manifolds, and String Theory, which purports to explain everything, but only for a few hundred mathematicians.

So many are lost in abstract worlds created by overactive minds, worlds of energy beings, enlightened beings, astral projection, self-realization, the great Void, etc.

All these imaginary worlds are just that: imaginary, or else “convenient fictions” that help us make things happen in our experiential world.

But what happens if we can leave all imaginary worlds and just live within the world of our own experience in the here and now (which itself is a concept, but its meaning is clear: just shut the fuck up and look and feel.)?