21 July 2014

Email from Steve

Hi Sri Edji,     Your dearest Charlie is really blessed having you and Kermia as kindred spirits. And a Belated Happy Birthday to Kermia.

I didn't realize the immense changes that took place when my Heart opened at your's and Deeya's retreat last year.  I think all my unresolved conflicts smoldered like a seething volcano -Vietnam Experiences mainly- started on an upward journey.  The overflow caught me off guard and threatened my mind to the point that it wanted to escape the world.

Slowly it has settled in that the mind has lost control and most of the day to day activities are from the Heart Center. The thinking, masculine, aggressive, planning, logic, busy mind has given way to the feminine, heart felt, loving, emotional and feelings of the heart.   This war by the mind  because its power was challenged fostered it losing control had almost cost me this body as the fear from the mind shook me to the core, day after day. 

The darkness was just Black, empty, unexpected, fearful, controlling, and full of the threat of death.

On occasion out of this hell a bliss would surface that would propel me into the highest states of happiness,  pleasure, delight and ecstasy that would balance the scale.  

Translated into what is happening today is:   Emotion and tears that words cannot even fathom.

A Moon that is constantly radiating its white light right into my Heart Center.

A Sun that slowly creeps into my awareness and throws beams of Joy and energy right into my soul.

I hardly move this body because the beauty to behold has always been right in front of me. Its paralyzing in its virtue.

Just a pair of birds flying by, the wind caressing my face, buds on the lilac and new things every day just create a state of perfect happiness that has been there all along.   
The eyes could never see this.  The mind with all its logic and rationalizations couldn't see it either.
Such beauty the Heart Center is aware of.  This Heart can see beauty and wonder anywhere it looks, anytime and any place.

The Mind has never met the Heart Center....even though they are both within this essence they will never be aware of each other.

But down the road I can see where the Heart and the Mind are two sides of the same coin...duality at its finest. 

I want to thank you, Guru Edji and Master Deeya for providing such an opportunity that opened the gates of my heart. Words cannot begin to describe the deepest appreciation and respect I have for you both.

Deepest Love,  Steve E.

P.S.  Edji,   Your excellent Satsangs spin the energy even faster.

20 July 2014



I got up too late and do not feel well. I exercised too much yesterday and lots of muscles are just screaming at me.

Also, Charlie needs lots of tending. He has maybe a week left alive.  He is still eating, and still kneading the rugs and us, but he is in pain managed by medications.  Feeding him and giving meds take lot's of time in the morning.

Lastly, it was Kerima's birthday Friday and we are celebrating today.

I need to change the time of Satsang back to 2 PM.  Few people are coming at this 1 PM time.  Moreover, few people are reading the blog--only 1/3 as many as two years ago, and a lot fewer are visiting my posts on FB.  SOMETHING HAS TO CHANGE.

Anyway, I will sit in silence with any of you who choose to meditate at the usual 1pm time today.

13 July 2014

Online Satsang today, Sunday July 13, 1 PM California time.

Go to http://satsangwithedji.weebly.com/

Sign in with the password "edji" on 2 different screens.

Go to broadcast in upper left corner and sign in to come on video.

12 July 2014

The ultimate goal of the NSA is total population control--The Guardian article

At least 80% of all audio calls, not just metadata, are recorded and stored in the US, says whistleblower William Binney – that's a 'totalitarian mentality'
William Binney testifies before a German inquiry into surveillance.
William Binney testifies before a German inquiry into surveillance. Photograph: Getty Images
William Binney is one of the highest-level whistleblowers to ever emerge from the NSA. He was a leading code-breaker against the Soviet Union during the Cold War but resigned soon after September 11, disgusted by Washington’s move towards mass surveillance.
On 5 July he spoke at a conference in London organised by the Centre for Investigative Journalism and revealed the extent of the surveillance programs unleashed by the Bush and Obama administrations.
“At least 80% of fibre-optic cables globally go via the US”, Binney said. “This is no accident and allows the US to view all communication coming in. At least 80% of all audio calls, not just metadata, are recorded and stored in the US. The NSA lies about what it stores.”
The NSA will soon be able to collect 966 exabytes a year, the total of internet traffic annually. Former Google head Eric Schmidt once argued that the entire amount of knowledge from the beginning of humankind until 2003 amount to only five exabytes.
“The ultimate goal of the NSA is total population control”, Binney said, “but I’m a little optimistic with some recent Supreme Court decisions, such as law enforcement mostly now needing a warrant before searching a smartphone.”
He praised the revelations and bravery of former NSA contractor Edward Snowden and told me that he had indirect contact with a number of other NSA employees who felt disgusted with the agency’s work. They’re keen to speak out but fear retribution and exile, not unlike Snowden himself, who is likely to remain there for some time.
Unlike Snowden, Binney didn’t take any documents with him when he left the NSA. He now says that hard evidence of illegal spying would have been invaluable. The latest Snowden leaks, featured in the Washington Post, detailprivate conversations of average Americans with no connection to extremism.
It shows that the NSA is not just pursuing terrorism, as it claims, but ordinary citizens going about their daily communications. “The NSA is mass-collecting on everyone”, Binney said, “and it’s said to be about terrorism but inside the US it has stopped zero attacks.”
The lack of official oversight is one of Binney’s key concerns, particularly of the secret Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Court (Fisa), which is held out by NSA defenders as a sign of the surveillance scheme's constitutionality.
“The Fisa court has only the government’s point of view”, he argued. “There are no other views for the judges to consider. There have been at least 15-20 trillion constitutional violations for US domestic audiences and you can double that globally.”
A Fisa court in 2010 allowed the NSA to spy on 193 countries around the world, plus the World Bank, though there’s evidence that even the nations the US isn’t supposed to monitor – Five Eyes allies Britain, Canada, Australia and New Zealand – aren’t immune from being spied on. It’s why encryption is today so essential to transmit information safely.
Binney recently told the German NSA inquiry committee that his former employer had a “totalitarian mentality” that was the "greatest threat" to US society since that country’s US Civil War in the 19th century. Despite this remarkable power, Binney still mocked the NSA’s failures, including missing this year’s Russian intervention in Ukraine and the Islamic State’s take-over of Iraq.
The era of mass surveillance has gone from the fringes of public debate to the mainstream, where it belongs. The Pew Research Centre released a report this month, Digital Life in 2025, that predicted worsening state control and censorship, reduced public trust, and increased commercialisation of every aspect of web culture.
It’s not just internet experts warning about the internet’s colonisation by state and corporate power. One of Europe’s leading web creators, Lena Thiele, presented her stunning series Netwars in London on the threat of cyber warfare. She showed how easy it is for governments and corporations to capture our personal information without us even realising.
Thiele said that the US budget for cyber security was US$67 billion in 2013 and will double by 2016. Much of this money is wasted and doesn't protect online infrastructure. This fact doesn’t worry the multinationals making a killing from the gross exaggeration of fear that permeates the public domain.
Wikileaks understands this reality better than most. Founder Julian Assangeand investigative editor Sarah Harrison both remain in legal limbo. 

11 July 2014

Be like this.

06 July 2014


Thank you for just focusing on the Subtle Body descriptions. IVe been there in the Subtle Body during meditation in the past, not knowing where I was. Even though words are going to fall short of the actual experience, your ability to describe your own experience as well as the teachings you received on this, is so helpful to me. You've given me some sign posts on the way. No one ever talked me about the importance of exploring and knowing the inner world in a clear way in order to find our true depths. I always had an intuitive sense of wanting to know my inner being in a meticulous but not abstract or philosophical way. Your teaching helps me in a very practical way to do this. I feel real excitement again, beginner's mind, about meditation as self exploration. That's all I've ever really wanted, to explore, to find out what I am. 

I'm both smiling and crying as I write this, happy beyond words for your 'map' and pissed off for all the time I've been floundering around. Thank you, Edji, very much.

05 July 2014



Go to http://satsangwithedji.weebly.com

Sign in on two different screens with the password  "edji"

Go to top left of video box and activate broadcast in order to get on screen.


This talk is about a journey into your Self.  It is about discovering what you are and it is not about becoming anything other than what you are now.

I feel both sorry for and angry with teachers who preach that there is no self, that the self is only the figment of society, conditioning, and thought. They state that that is necessary is to look within and you will “see” that there is nothing, no internal object, that the word “I” points too.  There is only inner emptiness and a “presence,” of beingness that fills that emptiness, calling this the One, or even the Absolute, and stating this is the “unchangeable” essence of your being.

I am sorry for them because they do not realize how unimaginably short-viewed their vision is; there is so much more to them and to you that they cannot even fathom because they have stopped at no-self, presence, or newness, and they wait for things to “unfold” because they believe there is nothing deeper than beingness.

I am angry with them because they can only take their students as far as they have gone, which is not very far, but it is easy to get where they are and doesn’t take that much effort.  Therefore, they have lots of students who likely will remain at this level for a long, long time because the teaching says there is nothing beyond or prior to beingness.

But I want to invite you on a journey into your Self that will take you much deeper, a journey through “levels” or increasing subtleties of who you are until finally you reach the most subtle level of your own manifestation and knowing- ness, each of which feels more “intimate” and closer to one’s primary sense of existence, one’s essence: the Self.

The first body is, of course, our physical body which interacts apparently with an external world.  The body is a machine, so to speak, a living entity that translates sensual stimulIi into electrical nerve network impulses that the brain turns into a representation that allows us, at a deeper level within, to know, act in, and explore the physical dimension.

This second body, which I’ll call the Subtle Body and is also called the Energy Body, is entirely different from the physical world.  Out of the electrical network and brain, a subjective world of consciousness is created complete with a subjective representation of the external world.  That external world is a figment, or creation, of the consciousness generated somehow by the body, which communicates with the so-called external world through our nervous system.

In this sense, consciousness is self-contained. We, who we are is consciousness and can only know objects in consciousness including the external world. In this sense, we have to trust that there really is an external world independent of our bodies which our representation accurately mirror.  That is, we have to assume as true that there is something external to me, which I cannot see, hear, touch or feel in truth—as I can only experience what that thing appears to be in my consciousness.  I have no idea of what the broccoli that I am eating is really like independent of how it tastes and has texture to me.

This is the basis of the idealist’s viewpoint: all that we can know is consciousness, so why assume there is an external world?  Ramana does not believe there is one, nor does Nisargadatta or Robert Adams.  There is only “me” for them, and every other sentient being is only an object in their consciousness.

Another viewpoint, the realists’ viewpoint, is there are others outside of my consciousness, each of which is and utilizes the same type of consciousness as I do.  Each is a bubble of consciousness somehow aware of other bubbles of consciousness.  There are other variations than this found in philosophy.

But the second body is not really “of” the first body.  It is in an inner, subjective dimension as opposed to the ourward, worldly, physical four dimensions of space and time.

What does this second, or Subtle Body consist of?  It is made up of mind, thoughts, intelligence, images and imaging, the container of emptiness, the sense of presence, the experiences of the body from the inside, like pain and pleasure, movement and stillness, and the experience of inner energies, Chi, Prana, Kundalini, and Merridian energies.

It has an existence as a separate felt body, something like an inner entity, almost ghost-like in form, that spreads throughout the physical body and extends beyond it.  When perceived as a whole it feels like an inner being, inside the body, made of light, energy, and most of “sentience,” being aware of itself, our bodies and the world, but it is not of the world, because it is not made of matter, but of energy and consciousness.  The world is made of matter and consciousness while this Energy Body is made of energy and consciousness.

Becoming aware of this Subtle or Energy Body is extremely important.  Subjectively is feels more “intimate” and closer to my sense of being me than the body.  At this level the body is only a machine, and interface between the Subtle Body and the world.  This is your first proof of Robert Adams’ and Nisargadatta’s assertion that you are not your body.  You are much, much more than that.  Before you know this body intimately, Robert’s assertion that the body and world are unreal is, for you, only a concept and maybe a belief that you hold.

When you know the Subtle Body intimately for a long time, and have explored it and know all its secrets, pleasures and pains, you will identify with it and concerns about the physical body tend to disappear. But you still have to take care of the apparent physical body for it sustains the Subtle Body and allows the Subtle Body to interact and communicate within the physical dimension of space and time.
However, the Subtle Body still is not you.  Though it feels more intimate and closer to “you” who is watching and experiencing it, there is still a you that lies deeper, or perhaps it is better to say, is even more subtle than the Subtle Body, a deeper dimension so to speak.

I will save discussion of the next two dimensions for later.  For a while I will concentrate on meditation and techniques to help you really become aware of and then identify with the Subtle, Energy Body, because it will thus prove to you that you are not the physical body and free you from it and give you increased control over it if you so desire.

If for have found this post valuable, or Satsang, or the techniques offered, please leave a donation to support both my teaching activities, but also my animal rescue work. We are a 501c3 Religious, non-profit organization, and all donations are tax free.

03 July 2014

In You, Are non-Physical "Bodies" Far More Intimate Than Your Physical Body

We Are the Subtle Body even more than the physical body.

We have read that Ramana, Robert Adams, and Nisargadatta say over and over, “You are not your body.”  But for most people, this is just philosophy—a belief.  For most of us, we identify with the body and don’t have enough direct experience of other aspects of ourselves to serve as alternative identifications.

Many advanced meditators after years of practice know both the inner emptiness of the space within, also called the Void, that many identify with it and call it the substrate, the absolute, or newness and beingness: that is the container or screen upon which phenomenal objects appear.  However, this inner space, lighted by itself, is still a phenomenon, and although it does not appear to change, it comes and goes with the states of consciousness (deep sleep, dream sleep, waking), and can disappear when the objects grab hold of out attention.

This inner space is an aspect of what Nisargadatta and his teacher called the Subtle Body, which is the dwelling place of all inner phenomenon, including the I-sense, and all inner energies, such as prana, Chi, Kundalini, etc.

One marked step towards Self-Realization of the manifest Self, the Atman, is to lose primary identification with the physical body when we experience ourselves as an energy body while in ordinary waking consciousness.

This usually starts through experiencing “energies” throughout the body for a long time, which gradually grow both in intensity and frequency of occurrence, but also grow more “subtle” as time passes.

The initial energies may be experienced as tingling or heat, sometimes as vibrations, and sometimes as currents that are felt, and are often associated with flowing colors.  Then these energies can grow to be very powerful, often irritating, burning, shaking, and grow to fearsome intensity where you feel youi can’t tolerate them any more.

For me it was like this.  For many days I felt pretty useless, unwilling to move though forced to at times by my schedule.  But I was fixated on my inner world, the emptiness within superimposed or underlying my experience of my body.

For days there was a growing inner current that entirely filled my body, and not very pleasurable.  My hands trembled and inside I felt a slight vibration.  My body felt heavy, and intensely vibrating as a high frequency.

One day I awoke and I felt happier than for some time because the heaviness and vibration had disappeared.  As I drove to my morning coffee, I suddenly realized I was no longer identifying with my body.  Looking within, I saw only white light inside, and I had a second body, a body of light and sentience, of awareness, an experiencing presence within and I had the sudden knowledge that this was more me than was my physical body.  My body was just the material host for this inner being of light and awareness, which was lighter than a feather and had only a sense of joy. 

But there was also the immediate realization that even this body, though it felt more close an intimate to “me” than my physical body, was still not “me,” or at least the entirety of me, for I was still witnessing this lighted Subtle Body, and my sense of me, the I Am, though it existed here, this was not its home.  But the identification with the body thereafter began to break because the light body was closer to me, my essence.

I know this is just my experience and most of you do not have it, therefore feel free to doubt you have this Subtle or Energy body within “you.”

You know I doubt all science.  Science is just a matrix of concepts, mathematics, experimentation, and imagination.  I have never seen an atom, an electron, curved space, a photon, or even a virus.  All this is second hand knowledge to me, and mostly I accept it as truth for operational purposes, but I really don’t believe in it.

But maybe you do believe.  In that case, consider this.  You know that you do not see the object in-itself directly, but from light that originates in the object, such as from the sun, or is reflected off the object, as a chair, tree, or the moon.  This light enters the eye, hits the retinae, which generates an every changing matrix of signals in the forms of electrical potentials that flow along the optical nerves and are interpreted by the brain which creates—somehow—an inner picture of the external world.  The external world you experience is created in your brain interpreting electrical signals from nerves in the eyes, ears, skin, nose, and mouth, as well as from muscles.

Thus what you know is purely the result of inner electricity which somehow creates our Consciousness, including of our bodies’ and the world.

From this point of view, the body is really just a host for the nervous system and brain, that somehow creates our subjective world as Consciousness.

Since electricity is a form or energy, from this viewpoint, we are electrical or energy beings according to science.

But many of us know of other inner energies and have developed awareness of them through inner exploration and can more easily identify with the energy aspect of our “isness,” as opposed to relying on this scientific explanation.

Any and all of you who experience these energies now should be able to experience yourselves more “deeply” than the body and begin to experience a Self more near and dear to the essence or heart of your being, than the body. With this comes a great freedom and increasing joy and happiness that is just the beginning of an ever deepening awareness of all levels of your Self.

For that inner body, I used the term "energy," but that is only one aspect.  I also used the term "light," but by that I mean a concentrated form of the light of Consciousness that all meditators see after a while.

It is really impossible to convey the experience.  It is just sentience. the ability  to perceive, conceive, love and to know.  It is not exactly the Life Force, but she is there within this Subtle Body.  It is like a "subtle body" of sentience living within the non-sentient meat of our bodies, which supports the Subtle Body and provides the nervous system that converts the material world into Consciousness for the Subtle Body and deeper.

02 July 2014

Strange. Google Statistics Differ From My Counter

Google supplies visitor statistics for Blogger sites, and according to its measure, I am getting a far larger number of pages read than my stat counter counts.

According to Google, I am getting 600-900 page reads per day, and I had almost 20,000 pages opened during June.  This is almost triple the number than I thought.

30 June 2014


Hello Ed. Such a delight to stumble across your understanding of Nisargadatta Maharaj. I have found no one else who seems to understand the distinction between Beingness/Presence and the Absolute, which he discussed incessantly. 

Experience and nuance of dwelling as That which is beyond Consciousness, STRIPPED of Beingness is the focus. 

There is a kind of twilight where one is the non-being/Absolute, but turns back to 'face' the thinned out 'edge' of consciousness; which is so extra-ordinary because there is experience possible there. Experience of void and experience of consciousness in all its facets. Do you know of this? I had not expected to find another who did.

Very kind regards,


Yes I do Tom.

One day I awoke and found out that nothing changed going from sleep to awakeness. I was the same in each.  I did not change or was affected in any way. Therefore I was independent of changes in states of Consciousness.

Then I saw all these aspects of Consciousness, like waking, dreaming and sleep as well as everything that happened in Consciousness, came to me and covered me like a cloud, but they did not touch me.  I was entirely outside of Consciousness.  But I, as This, had no form, and probably was only self aware because I was experiencing myself as apart from Consciousness, for when I looked for the witness, there was  nothing there.

In my pure state there was no knowing, only the potential for it. I had existence beyond knowing.

29 June 2014




Sign in with the password   "edji"  two separate times.

Then go to  "Broadcast" and sign in.

Please pause your microphone.

25 June 2014

All Jnanis Appear to Agree: the Goal, whichever you select, is found through self-inquiry or love and surrender

If you aim to find/experience the Absolute, the supposed source of the subject-witness, you miss the Self-Realization of the totality of your various bodies and talents with God. You get only peace.

With the other, Self-Realization within existence, you feel real, total, solid, yet vulnerable.

And, how do you find the source?

The source is not the space between thoughts, the gap or beingness, or space, or emptiness, for that space is infinite and it is also a phenomenon. You experience the space, the emptiness. You "see" it with your inner eye, and feel it as your extended sense of presence.

So the question becomes, how do I find the Absolute outside of anything that can be seen or felt?  That is, where do you look or seek?

If you think just keeping silent will take you to the source, you are likely mistaken.  Since the inner space, the "gap," emptiness is infinite, you are much more likely just to become lost in this space, feel a modicum of peace, but miss finding the source which cannot be found.

You have to become it, become the source, which is entirely different from seeking it or by being silent and doing nothing.

All Jnanis appear to agree there are two ways: self inquiry by finding and abiding in the I Am, by locating the I Am sensation, abiding there, accepting it and loving it, or through Bhakta, love and surrender.  But surrender to who or what?  It does not matter as long as your love grows, flowers and flows.


I have no idea why it is, but this blog's readership is declining dramatically during the past few months, and the entire past year shows a huge decline over the same period two and three years ago.

The same holds true for Facebook.  There appear to be far fewer readers.

Lastly, there has been a huge decrease in donations, so much so I had to decrease my support of other cat colony managers and my spay/neuter/return program.

I find this strange as my last six months of posts seem to me to be deeper, more penetrating, and more immediately useful than they were four years ago, with much more personal, down-to-earth articles on our very human problems explored both from a "transcendental" POV, but also the POV of an embodied human, with frustrations, needs, anxiety, and other stresses related to being in a human body.

The only bright spot is online Satsang where attendence holds steady at about 30-35 attendees per week.

I find all this amazing as I see no other teachers on FB or the web that address both the transcendental awakenings, the Satoris and other kinds of Self-Realization experiences, the methods, from self-inquiry to love, and also the joys and problems of ordinary human consciousness as are explored in these teachings.

It seems that in order to keep up my animal rescue efforts that I might need to back out of spiritual teaching and go back to editing medical reports as a more reliable income source.

You tell me, my audience, what is going on and how what do you think of my teaching style for the last two years?

Below are the blog readership charts for the last 4 years.

Click on this chart.  This shows readership for the past 12 months.  May and June has slipped under 200 per day.  There was one big spike in November when this blog was mentioned on some mega-site.

This is 2011-2012.  Notice readership was mostly in the 300 range and rarely feel below 200, with spikes to 400--600.

This is four years ago.  Readership was between 300-500, with spikes to 800.

There have been almost 1,100 posts during these four years, or about five a week.

What is happening?  I think teachings have increased in value, but readership and substantially decreased donations indicate otherwise.

23 June 2014

New Focus on Self-Exploration During Satsang

Our New Focus on Self-Exploration During Satsang

For the last month, rather than too much talk about methods of self-realization, like the myriad of ways one can practice self-inquiry, or talk about the nature of the "real" or abstractly, about Self or Beingness, I have been emphasizing direct experiencing of YOUR inner world through guided meditation and facilitating the sharing of blissful energies throughout the Sangha during Satsang.

Therefore more and more people have been experiencing the involutional energies that try to coax your awareness deeper than the mind into the ocean of just beingness below it, down to the Causal Body level of Conscious Sleeping, going into the state of Forgetfulness consciously, which is the door to the Witness, the Absolute, Parabrahman.

This is where my teacher Robert, Robert Adams directly us when he was alive: a place of complete rest and peace.


Although now I direct people to to a different area of Robert's teachings about using Love discover a different aspect of the Infinite within themselves, namely the Self, Turiya, the Love/Bliss Body through love because I feel this is the way of our time for the West, not Advaita, this way can be quite arduous and sometimes scary and painful.  Therefore, it does help to have an escape, an escape into taking the position of the Witness.

Recently I have been taking Satsangees downwards towards the Causal Body and hopefully deeper into the Witness so that they know first-hand the kind of awakening that Robert and Nisargadatta talk about.  After knowing this Parabrahman state well, one can "come back" into Consciousness by loving others and finding the Self that dwells in your heart and body, and loving It. Then when your love is strong enough, that Self of Consciousness, Shakti, will reveal Herself to you in all her glory as your own divine source.

Below is an email from Steve who felt the energy of Satsang deeply.

"Dearest Edji,  I am glad you post your Satsangs, as today I sat down all set to join in and you had us listen to Krishna Das....I couldn't believe it. I looked and it was 4:05. I sat down for a few minutes and next thing, I didn't know, but an hour passed.

"It was a strange time because I could feel the energy of the Satsang Group just coursing through the body and I was seeing a lot of lights and colors rolling in. It was really great and I thought 'I don't even have to be there and the energy is very strong'.  Not realizing that Satsang was in full swing.

"I am glad your going to post it because I caught a little of your talk about the har"a and lowering our focus to the belly area.   Usually during my meditations my whole torso is churning and burning from top to bottom---is that how it is supposed to go?

"Jeez, I hate to miss out on any little tidbit you convey to us."

Love you,  S.


I invite you all to attend our Sunday live Satsangs at 1 PM California time by going to http://satsangwithedji.weebly.com, and use the password   "edji"  each time it is asked. Like Robert's Satsangs, they are entirely free. Recent recorded Satsangs can be found on youtube.com at: https://www.youtube.com/user/edwardmuzika.

21 June 2014


Go to http://satsangwithedji.weebly.com.

Sign in with the password   "edji" whenever asked (two times).

Then sign in by clicking "Broadcast" to be on camera.

If you come early, listen to some chanting at the bottom of the page to begin to feel Subtle Body energies.

20 June 2014

New Email from M about changes

Dear Edji

It is pretty clear to me now that the scales have been removed from eyes that what You are doing is correct,  In fact it resonates  deeply in my heart as to be positively up-lifting.

When you say …

"Once you regard your body as real, and the world is real, you begin a journey of becoming “re-embodied” or “re-incarnated” into humanity.  Indeed, you realize yourself not only as the Absolute principle of “sentience,” Robert's "gap," but also as a physical body, with a mind, energies, and with emotions, existentially embedded into a physical and energetic reality.”

It occurs to me that this is what I have been seeking permission to be, when no permission was needed. I feel that all practices and prayers have lead me to this understanding.

I see that fear was driving me, and I was willingly accepting crumbs from the masters table instead of pulling up a chair next to my-Self, and enjoying the  feast of Self.

Why, because I clung to notion I was not worthy, and held dear my neuroses that told me I was not clever enough, too fearful, too full of resentments, too jealous, to full of self- pity and too angry to fully express my self to you about these things. 

However I did find the courage to write to you and it has been a huge catalyst for “burning” or “cooking” these imagined yet real shortcomings.  I suspect it needed to happen that way The release is freedom and I can begin to laugh at myself yet be cognizant of the “whole” the impermanence within the permanent … and  knowing this underscores fully what it means to be as Robert says often just “BE Yourself”

How can it be other … life is what it is and acting lovingly to all that goes on is paramount, and that includes when things are emotional, erratic, neurotic …  It all belongs and as you say so beautifully ”loving acceptance,” with enough uncertainty to preclude pre-ordination.  

Much love to you Dear Edji …see you at satsang! 


19 June 2014

M. Expresses Anger and Confusion After Deeya Left Sangha; My Response.

Below is an email to me from a student confused and angry at me for Deeya’s leaving our Sangha.  I am sure this bother many of you because her presence lit up our Sangha for many. I will not comment on why she left, because I am not certain myself.  Do know she and I continue to love each other, and both of us continue to love all of you out there.

“This is problematic (self-realization) if one is to believe Robert and Ramana that the mind and all it contains is to be emptied … completely!

“This seems an impossibility for as this issue has raised ..we cannot always know what indeed our mind contains … and so the effort will be endless… and futile.

“Perhaps that is why you have deviated from their teachings … I didn’t understand this … I thought you had betrayed your teacher … and lineage…

“Can you see how it is I am so confused ?

“I thought that at the time all the problems with Deeya were surfacing that it was not a coincidence that ALL of Robert’s teachings became available to us.. Such a boon from the sage… a sign …a sign …!  was how I saw it…

“So I have immersed myself totally in his teachings day and night … listening, pondering, practicing …

“The resulting peace and bliss and subtle energies encountered in the void  is wonderful … but it doesn’t last and life and it’s vicissitudes again appear to take over …and of course thinking !

“So to finish I seem to have three choices ..

“1.       Keep doing what Robert recommends diligently and devotedly without expectation…

“2.       Come back fully to you and your teachings , knowing that it is unlikely that I will ever get to be in your presence and receive your Grace…

“3.       Lastly, go back to where it all began with the other Robert (Sailor Bob)- because he is alive and not too far away .... but is a very, very, ‘dry” jnani , and yet if I ignore the words and just be with him … it is so blissful that I want to jump with joy. I have not heard him talk of surrender to the guru… and that is what I really want to do …

“I have great faith in what both you and Robert say about the value of the living teacher …and my most ardent desire is to Self- realize … it just grows and grows …

“I was going to sell up everything and come to you and Deeya … and now that is thwarted….

“So you see I am confounded and confused … can you make any suggestions please…

Ed’s Response:

M, do you know what self-realization means?

It means that you know who you are. That's all. But that means “who you are on all levels,” not just the Absolute level of unchanging Witness, the "source," or Parabrahman.

Sometimes in real life, you are peaceful emptiness, sometimes the witness, sometimes bliss, sometimes lonely, sometimes angry, sometimes sad, sometimes in physical pain.

Then again, that only refers to the waking state.  Other times you are in dream sleep, sometimes in deep sleep, and rarely in what Robert called the gap: the transitional state between dreaming and waking, which Robert sometimes says is the real you (just bare awareness with no thinking, judging or interpreting).

But always you have sentience at the core: the ability to experience, feel and know.

Nisargadatta calls dwelling or resting in this level of your existence, being the witness.

He calls the witness real because that ability to experience and know is required every moment of your life.  It does not change.  Everything else changes.  All experience is in flux. 

Because experience is always changing, Robert calls all experience “unreal” or “illusory.” Nisargadatta agrees.  For them, the only real is dwelling (abiding in) in that deep, impersonal witness state which gives great peace.

Yes, I have deviated from Robert’s and Nisargadatta’s teachings because I do not define everything that happens in Consciousness, that is the experiencing of my entire world of phenomena as well as my own body, my emotions, my hungers, desires, and fears, as being unreal just because they constantly change.

Nisargadatta and Robert would consider loving a cat as unreal because the cat-entity is not permanent. Same with loving a lover.  Neither the lover, nor your body, nor the loving lasts unchanging forever.  The same holds with a stomach ache, tooth ache, hunger, sex, and current dwelling place; everything changes and passes.

So I ask you, do you really want to live that way, not owning your emotions, desires, body, love for animals or other people because these things always pass?

And I ask why would anyone want to live that way?  Is it just so they can dwell in the peacefulness of not being involved with anything or anyone? Is this what you want?  This is what Robert teaches, to have nothing to do with the world, or to take your own problems and frustrations as real and to live more and more in that gap between waking and sleeping, where you are aware of everything, but none of it "touches you"; the phenomena, the emotion, the external event is there, but it does not touch you because there is no you to be present or to take ownership of the emotion or event. 

Yes, it may give great peace for a long time, but it also removes you from the sorrows of life, but also the joys.  It removes you from involvement even though your body and mind live on, but are treated as not real.  Do you really want that?

Remember, the Self-Realization of Robert and Nisargadatta is to rest in the impersonal witness state, the Absolute, just watching joy and sorrows arise and then fall away, without taking ownership of them because they pass. 

Secondarily, in that gap state, there is also no awareness of you as a separate self.  There is no sense of identification or ownership of the emotion, the love, or the external object. Even love takes on this impersonal nature, for there is no self to love, and the object is temporary.

This is exactly the Buddha’s point of view: non-attachment as a goal to find peace.

But I reject this viewpoint as being narrow, and as failing to actually live life, both the downs and also the ups, to the fullest.

I want to live life feeling responsible for the lives of others, of animals and people I love.  

To do that I have to consider them as real, even if they only live a short time, or only stay close a short time.  I regard my love for them as real, and that’s why I feel obligated to be responsible for their well-being.  If I considered them unreal or illusory, why would I care?  This is where Robert and Ramana leave you: indifferent to the world and to others because they are not real, and the love you feel for them or yourself is strictly impersonal; if they suffer, have joy, or die, it does not affect you, your core, because you as a human are also impersonal. For you, you are just that impersonal awareness without identification as a person, and without responsibility.

I deeply reject this.  From living in this state for 15 years an overpowering experience of love came to me and awakened me to the utter, undeniable reality of love and other emotions, and my existence as a sentient being within a world that was real-enough to believe in, even if it changed from moment to moment, and with real persons, animals, and environment that needed to be shepherded and cared for.

It is my reawakened love and compassion for others that make me take this stance.  This is what happened to Buddhism a thousand years after the Buddha.  Mahayana Buddhism was born where the ideal of a snuffing out of desires (Self), or Nirvana, gave way to the Four Vows of rescuing every sentient being in the world “from suffering and distress” before one is allowed to escape suffering into Nirvana. 

This is also the Christian ethic of “Doing onto others as you would have done unto you,” as well to love others as yourself.  Christ was not interested in painting the world as unreal so that you didn’t have to suffer; he wanted everyone to have compassion and love for all sentient beings.

Once you regard your body as real, and the world is real, you begin a journey of becoming “re-embodied” or “re-incarnated” into humanity.  Indeed, you realize yourself not only as the Absolute principle of “sentience,” "the gap," but also as a physical body, with a mind, energies, and with emotions, existentially embedded into a physical and energetic reality.  

You become like Christ: divinity in the form of a sentient presence, come alive in physical form with a karmic destiny, but with enough uncertainty to preclude pre-determination. That is, the need arises to consciously make choices as to how we live, or to do so spontaneously when we live from our heart’s core of loving acceptance of all that we are as well as the same towards the world: loving acceptance.

No M, you do not want to be with a distant, impersonal Jnani, or stay with Robert without regard to what he is saying.  Instead, I ask you to accept all levels of your beingness, including emotions, personal love, responsibilities, your energetic body, and, of course, your transcendent existence as the Absolute.  You are a complete, multi-dimensional being, from Absolute witness, to a physical being infused with Life Force (Shakti), as well as pure sentience (Shiva).

Please come back to Satsang on Sundays. Some day Deeya will return to us with her physical presence, and I know her heart is always with us even though she chooses to be in seclusion now.  Feel the love and the circulating energies and bliss we ALL feel in each others’ healing presence. The Life Force, Shakti, is very strong every Sunday, and we want you back to share in it.