29 September 2010


For a long time I have been getting emails about why I am concerned about Infinity. Why am I concerned about Matthew's manuscript? Why am I concerned about saving cats? Why am I concerned about saving whales from Japanese predation? Don't I know Robert said, "Leave the world alone"?

Yes, I know what Robert said. I was there with him for 7 years in LA. I heard hundreds of his talks and went to lunch with him hundreds of times. We talked hundreds of times on the phone. I wrote introductions for his books, wrote short biographies for him, promoted Satsang at his direction through various media, etc. I know his teachings very, very well.

But, I did not get stuck on that one phrase of his as a lot of people seem to.

Robert and his teachings were far larger than that one phrase.

Robert, with this phrase, was responding to the hundreds of students who came to him with problems. They were preoccupied with problems and had neglected their inner life, their core. He was turning them back onto recognizing their true nature as both form and emptiness, with an emphasis on emptiness, because they were obsessed with form.

However, Robert also said you need not become a doormat.

If Animal Control is coming to take your animals away, or the Republicans are coming to take your Social Security away, or your daughter is newly diagnosed with brain cancer, or someone has launched a well-funded lawsuit against your invention or intellectual property, this does not mean you should not respond to the challenge  and protect yourself and your loved ones even if the world is just an appearance.

If you take Robert literally, you would not respond if neo Nazis were knocking on your neighbor's door and dragging them into the street where they beat them to death. Do you really think Robert would not want you to help protect those people even at the peril of your own life?

If you read Robert's "Confession," he says the world does not entirely disappear, but life's events lose their sting. That is, you still feel compassion, love, the need to protect, nourish and help, and if someone close to you is hurt, or you are hurt, you still feel it, and can react, it is just that you are not overwhelmed by the happening because you have transcended the world. You are in it but not of it.

As long as you are alive, you will be presented with situations where you can act with compassion, or ignore the situation and let whatever is to happen, happen.

Am I to ignore Infinity's now incessant attacks on Matthew who is trying to present the gist of Robert's teachings in new and powerful ways? No, I cannot do that. And, if anyone shows up at my door threatening to take my animals away, they will not long forget that confrontation.

This totally out of control movement to protect the innocent, weak, old and animals has deeply gripped my beingness.

Three days ago someone called me that needed help. A 70 year old and rather feeble neighbor allegedly had been abused by Animal Services personnel regarding a false complaint against him by a tenant who he was trying to evict for non payment of rent. It took lots of emails and a personal appearance by me when Animal Services showed up for an inspection, but all is well now. AS knows the complaint was bogus and the officers that did show up were very polite and friendly as opposed to those whom the neighbor had spoken to some days before.  I can't help it. The movement to help and protect is too strong to stop.

I know some of the people who read this blog have caught this disease of active and compassionate intervention. There is no cure you know.

28 September 2010

Yet another threat from Infinity's Blake Warner:

Date: Tue, 28 Sep 2010 06:53:32 -0700
Subject: Re: Cease and Desist

Re: You seem like an intelligent fellow, a school teacher and writer by honorable profession, please accurately go to the source and inquire. You have been mislead. Attached is the actual copyrights created by the  Robert Adams Institute as filed with the copyright office over the years.  After you investigate the repercussions of this type of violation involving perjury and theft and clear disregard for the Sages lineage and the misrepresented teaching contact me if the results of your actions are not entirely clear to you, either by The Master Teachers copyright or the laws of the state of Arizona. Also of note we are speaking to the first screenplay posted on the itisnotreal web, follow the link in the first attachment.. the one removed from Scribd. 

Deepest Regards In Robert,

Blake Warner Ph.d.

27 September 2010

Dear Nicole and Blake,

As one who has been deeply moved by the talks of Robert Adams and his book Silence of the Heart, I must say that I find it incredulous that you are not welcoming Matthew Brown’s beautifully presented screenplay with open arms.

Robert was a most beautiful Saint and Sage and stressed over and over again that we are ONE... not two! 

I can not believe that you have heard his talks and read the book when you undertake such negative action against your SELF!

Robert also stressed that the TRUTH of who we really are cannot be sold, it must be offered freely to all spiritual seekers and those who are sincere will take care of the teacher’s needs.

Do you not remember the story Robert told of the lady who got caught up in launching a new lawsuit every month and how miserable and unhappy she was... are you both that unhappy?

From a spiritual perspective, your spinning around in such obvious fear is a perfect lesson for others of how our egos carry us away from who we really are.

From a legal perspective, you risk being sued yourselves for launching such a frivolous legal action.

There is no defamation, copyright infringement or other intellectual property infringement in Matthew’s screenplay that I can see.

And to think that Robert’s talks are copyright protected is sheer fantasy and legally ridiculous. If you would bother to listen to Robert’s talks you would clearly hear him directing copies to be made for FREE distribution and discussing how they have been spread all over the world. There are clearly many tapes being made and Robert even joked about this. Those tapes are the property of the persons taping the Satsangs WITH Robert’s full permission and all photographs taken with his full permission by his students are the property of those students. 

There is a legal term you should be aware of called “PUBLIC DOMAIN”.

You should also research the legal judgement set in the ACIM decision by Robert W. Sweet, U.S. District Court Judge on October 24, 2003 and note that the defendants were awarded costs.

I cannot think of a better closing line than one that Robert himself often said... 

Why don’t you just WAKE UP!

With Respect,

Jo-Ann Chinn
Nicole Adams and Blake Warner deliver new Cease and Desist Takedown Order to Matthew Brown to take down his script, "Razor's Handle" from the it is not real website.

Nicole and Warner never stop trying to bury the real Robert Adams under their pious Christian imitation of the Robert Adams I knew.

The Cease and desist email:

Date: Sun, 26 Sep 2010 20:32:13 -0700
Subject: Cease and Desist
From: blake.r.warner@gmail.com

Dear Matthew Brown,

This is a Cease and Desist demand to immediately remove your illegal screenplay constituting copyright infringement, false WGA registration, fabricated content, defamatory, and false representation immediately from the website itisnotreal.com as well as removing illegal and fraudulent registration under your name from the Writers Guild of America regarding one screenplay entitled “The Life and Teaching of Robert Adams.” 

Please be informed that Dr. Wesley Johnson as well as additional individuals have filed legal complaints regarding ongoing conveyed objections and complaints from life long students and relations of his in law Robert Adams throughout the world in relation to fabricated content created by complete strangers during the time period of their association, presence  and studentship with Mr. Adams, a complete stranger to you.

The content of your screenplay is proven both fabricated and defamatory in documented and verified time and location references, and currently constitutes felony action, written and attributed completely to you as the author, a complete stranger to both Mr. and Mrs. Adams, entirely unfamiliar with their life, teaching, family or social associations. This document is entirely fabricated and inaccurate regarding the life and teaching of Robert Adams.

Consistent harassment, defamation, ongoing internet infringement has been repeatedly  documented in association and attributed to your posted illegal works, your own words, and your posted statements. This has resulted in incoming consistent disruptions, harassment and defamation of the lives and careers of complete strangers who have never heard of you and have no involvement, association with, or knowledge of you. 

This is the second notification of Cease and Desist.
Retract any affiliations with public posting of this illegal document constituting felony criminal activity.

Your immediate removal of this public posting is requested within 24 hours.

John Bernie Shapiro 

PLEASE EMAIL NICOLE (a.k.a. Prem Devi) premdevi@cox.net telling her what you think of her slime ball tactics, AND Blake Warner: blake.r.warner@gmail.com

You will never find a physical address for Infinity because they don't want to be located for a number of reasons.

25 September 2010

Online Satsang gets closer.

We are in the final stages of software testing and setting up administrative procedures. Consciousness is acting in very strange ways through this process as all involved will tell you. 

Once it is working we can have informal "coffee Darshan" sometimes in the morning besides regular satsangs.

This will be a lazy man/woman Satsang. No need to leave the bedroom or living room. No commute. No smelly incense, no long ride back home followed by a beer. You can have your beer during Satsang!

When it is ready I'll name all the people involved and we will all share the blame.

The only blockage now is me and my schedule. For two months I had no medical reports to edit so spent a lot of time getting in trouble cooking people. Now, suddenly the reports are pouring in late, which means they are all overdue. 

In addition, Jimmy left also, abandoning many colonies of cats and I am now feeding and taking care of them plus helping others with money to feed the other colonies of his I am not feeding. Jimmy came back to town and disappeared, then he reappeared and disappeared again, going back North. 

I meet so many feral cat colony managers in Los Angeles who support anywhere from 2 or 3 colonies, to 19, with almost 100 cats. They give all their income to feed and take care of them and provide spay/neuter trapping, sterilizing and re-release, and thousands in vet bills. Some of these people have 30 cats at home, which is illegal in LA, and they all fear people complaining about them bringing the City down on them. One woman took over the feral cat colonies of Jimmy that I am not taking care of. She has 13 colonies and maybe 60 cats. I help her as I can, when her car breaks down or she needs cat food.

We are the caretakers of all sentient beings. Enlightenment and self-realization are purely secondary to having developed an inner saint. I have known many who have struggled for years to awaken, who have failed, and I think it largely because they haven't developed that compassion and love towards all sentient beings; they are too wrapped up with their own personal quest.

Many Zen koans are dedicated to pointing out how warped is just the drive to awaken without a strong drive to take care of all living things.

So, free time is rare this moment.


20 September 2010

by J.R. Hyland
The first time I read the account of Pope John Paul II’s dream, the thing that surprised me most was the fact that it was included in the book God’s Broker. Published in 1984, the book was the result of 200 hours of conversation with the Pope. These interviews began soon after the author, Anton Gronowicz, was introduced to the Pope in 1979 and continued for two years, in the Pontiff’’s apartment at the Vatican.

In his dream, John Paul follows a homeless mother cat who was trying to find food and shelter for herself and her kittens. She is turned away by those who lack nothing themselves and by men who represent the various faces of established Christianity.
The dream took place in 1969 the night before the Pope, known then as Cardinal Karol Wojtyla, was to visit New York City for the first time. It was late summer and he had been touring Canada. He spoke of the beauty of its fields and forests and how he had wished for more time to walk in woods vibrant with color and with his "ears filled with the songs and voices of animals."

In the midst of this discussion of Canada, the Pope abruptly changed the subject and said: "The night before my departure from Canada to New York, which I had never seen, I had a strange dream." But his dream was not of beautiful forests, warm with the summer sun. It was of a crowded city, frigid with the cold of a northern winter. And although he had never been there, his dream captured the way Manhattan looks and feels after a major snowstorm.

"It was a terribly severe winter in New York; the city was completely covered with snow. Inhabitants were well off and warmly dressed and walking slowly along roads because cars, due to mountains of snow, could not be operated. I was happy that I could walk on top of the snow on avenues of white.

"All my physical effort was spent on walking. To this day, pictures of huge apartment houses on both sides of the avenue are instilled in my mind and the doormen quickly closing and opening entrance doors as though trying to prevent humanity and warmth from escaping.

"On top of the snow, I noticed a brown cat emerge from a side street and walk on the snow. I looked closer and, to my surprise, saw that this big cat was being followed by six small brown-and-white kittens, all of them following the big brown cat in a perfect line. The mother cat looked back from time to time to see if her babies were there, but her main concern was to reach the entrance door. I presumed she was trying to find warmth for herself and her children, but as soon as she reached the door, a man in a well-pressed uniform jumped at her with a broom and chased them away. I followed this procession and prepared to deliver a speech to the doorman. I opened my mouth and tried to complain, ‘Where is your proverbial American generosity? Where is your American good heart and fair play? Let them in. Let them in!!’

"I tried to speak, but the words would not come out. Maybe I was afraid of the doorman with the broom. I started searching my cassock pockets for a piece of bread, found some crumbs, and put them on my palms, calling, ‘Kitty, kitty, kitty.’ But the words would not come from my supposedly intelligent mouth. Instead, the wind blew the crumbs from my palm, and I said, ‘What can I do? I can’’t speak to the cats. I can’t speak to the doorman. But there are many hungry birds. They might pick up the crumbs.’

"Again, I walked after the cats, now with a pain in my chest, feeling tremendous cold. On the left, I saw a church building and thought, ‘There we will find help.’ I heard singing, and again, the idea occurred to me that it must be a Catholic church. The music grew louder, as though trying to convince God that they were praying to Him.

"The mother cat jumped in front of me and climbed the stairs, followed by her kittens. I raised my head and saw a tall Jesuit priest chasing the cats off the steps. But as I was about to shout at the Jesuit, ‘I am a cardinal!’ and give an order to accept the cats, the mother cat and her offspring ran behind the church because from there came the appetizing aroma of food. Probably there was a kitchen there. But a second Jesuit appeared at the kitchen door and scared the cats away. They returned to the avenue and started walking north.

"They walked on the same side of the avenue as the Jesuit church and I followed. Then they reached an imposing red brick church. An Anglican bishop appeared and said to the cats, ‘My dear animal children, please go immediately to the animal shelter. There is food for you there. We Anglican clergy donate lots of money to the animal shelter every year at Christmastime.’

"The mother cat and her kittens didn’t even meow. They knew the authoritative voice of the Anglican bishop. They walked uptown and gradually the luxurious buildings disappeared, together with the doormen, and we saw drab dilapidated apartments.
"As they walked and the buildings grew shabbier and dirty, a door was opened, not by a doorman but by an old wrinkled woman in a cotton dress. [She saw the cats] and shouted, ‘Oh, little mother,’ and when she opened her mouth, I saw she had few teeth. She gently ushered the mother cat and kittens inside, who jumped happily about because the warmth of the house embraced them."

The narrative ended as the cats found a safe haven with the woman who had little enough, herself. When the Pope concluded his dream, the author to whom he related it did not make any comment on what had been said. But he did write that "I had never seen such a sad expression on the face of this man." Considering that this was the same man who had related the horrors of his young manhood under Nazi occupation, the author’s remark shows the deep impact this dream had on the Pope.

If the Pontiff offered a commentary on his dream, Anton Gronowicz does not share it with the reader. But we are told that John Paul began to recite the prayer of St. Francis of Assisi. "Lord, make me an instrument of thy peace. Where there is hatred, let me sow love ..., where there is darkness, light, and where there is sadness, joy.

The Pope also said that the "solicitous care, not only toward [people] but also toward animals and nature in general," that St. Francis demonstrated is "a faithful echo of the love with which God in the beginning pronounced his ‘fiat,’ which brought them into existence." And, the Pope added, "[W]e, too, are called to a similar attitude."

Some who read these remarks are surprised to find in them such strong support of God’s other creatures. They are surprised to hear the Pope refer to the lives of animals as a manifestation of God’s love: lives that deserve our "solicitous care." But I was not surprised. By the time I came across a copy of the message he gave at Assisi, I had read God’s Broker and the lengthy account of the Pope’s dream. And I knew that if John Paul II had not wanted this very revealing dream to be published, it would never have appeared in print.

In this witness, the Pope is being true to the Gospel message in which Jesus also gave witness to the need for the solicitous care of all beings: "I tell you, whenever you refused to help one of these least important ones, you refused to help me." (Matthew 25:45)
DIALOGUE WITH SAM--Amended and Expanded.

The following is written by someone who had a profound awakening in the J. Krishnamurti and U.G. Krishnamurti tradition, but the awakening is still partial. This person responded to my comments about his below email completely enraged, proving his non-existent ego was still very existent. I will include his full post now, my response and his rage-full re-response, which all goes to prove those who think they are beyond humanity, thinking and the ego altogether, are mostly fooling themselves. This is a very long post, but worth it. He makes a U.G. type discovery and comes to a neo-Advaitin conclusion.


Thank you very much for the reply and the books.

Well, that's the point. I'm acquainted with Nisargadatta's and other respectable advaitin sages' teachings, and I had some years ago realized what you're pointing - 'That' beyond consciousness, prior to consciousness, that many talk about but they don't have a glue about what 'it' is because it's a 'no-thing', it's not graspable, mind can't know it. And I say that this is the point because what happened to me did lead me to question even such a consciousness: is there a consciousness?

And what about 'that' that is also thought, accumulated knowledge operating in the machine, the organism, the interpreter generating the complete idea about 'that'? It’s also a concept, a thought. I don't know if I'm making myself clear... I'm questioning even that 'real me' ("YOU", as you say).

Accumulated knowledge or culture or thought or mind, if you prefer, is operating, 'running' the machine - the body - and such accumulated knowledge is the only instrument, the interpreter, there's no other instrument, and such an instrument is conditioned from the roots, then there's no way out. I mean…'you' are that knowledge, that accumulated knowledge functioning the machine as its operational system, and such a ‘you’, and memory, is what is giving the impression of a 'phantom in the machine', a 'psyché', 'soul', 'I', 'ego' or whatever you prefer to call it.

You see, there's nothing else there. The machine in the natural state would be functioning purely by means of the life's energy, without the interference of thought, which is the enemy, you know.

You see, a baby, for example, is natural, freed from all the prisons of thought. But, soon, parents and the whole society begin to give him the false notion of separation by ‘saving’ such information, the accumulated knowledge, in the baby's 'data-bank', and the poor bastard is already deluded from the beginning (laughter).

You see, then the glands, which correspond directly to the so-called chakras, cease to function, and the body is then operated by that 'operational system', the accumulated knowledge, thought, the enemy, and that is why doctors found out that people in puberty have such glands stopped. But those glands were operating and ruling the machine, the body, until the moment when all that shit - thought, accumulated knowledge – was put there. That is what is preventing the natural state to prevail – culture or thought or accumulated knowledge or whatever you prefer to call it.

 And the only chance is: if, by a stroke of luck or a ‘Divine Grace’, if you prefer, such a rubbish in the system is washed out - because it's impossible to be removed (any movement in order to remove it would only be replacement, it would be thought itself ‘cheating’ itself in order to try to keep on perpetuating itself, and there's no other instrument) -, and then a physical mutation take place - something hard, nothing related to that 'blissful' talk at all. Life's energy will retook the command, and, freed from that rubbish, the organism will then be reactivated in the natural state again. That is what happened to me, in spite of all that I have done, all the sadhana and all those things I sincerely practiced for 25 years in my life.

Then I'm questioning consciousness because, you see, what is it that is having the whole idea of consciousness if not thought, that accumulated knowledge itself? Even consciousness is a ‘data’ in such a ‘data-bank’, it’s also a concept, and that ‘data-bank’ is totally conditioned, compromised from the roots, and there's no other instrument - thought, the intellect, is all that is there, and it is giving new answers out the same old ‘data-bank’, transforming the very questions into new recycled answers, but you see, they can't access beyond of themselves, they can’t go beyond themselves, thought is the only instrument and it’s restricted to itself.

Then I realized that there's not even such a thing as consciousness at all, you see. It's thought that is the very thinking about consciousness itself, consciousness doesn't exist but as an idea, thought, a concept, and the same regarding that 'YOU', 'ultimate reality' etc.

Without that interpreter you have no way to know, to see or experience anything. Even the notion that consciousness is just a concept happening and appearing to such a 'YOU', which is supposed to be entirely beyond the world and all phenomena, is also a concept. It's that same source – thought - that is operating.

You see, I have no way to know if there's something beyond. Thought can't 'touch' 'there' and there's no other instrument. Then my will to seek was over. Search was over. You see, if there's no way out, better go out there and do anything usual than pay attention to such silly questions.

The machine, the body, is all that is there, and thought, accumulated knowledge, which is in the whole space, is operating the machine since it was 'installed' there, and there's no way out because thought itself is the only instrument and it is always doing the opposite, trying to perpetuate itself, then there's no way out. Only if that acausal 'finish' occur. Then that natural state prevail, that state in which thought is obviously still there, but only as a background, in order to make communication possible etc, but not as that previous interference anymore. And even this is that very same instrument barking out loud. It’s also a concept.

If there is 'something' beyond thought, considering that thought is the only instrument, what is that will be there to experience or realize, whatever, the existence of 'that'?

Then we have no way to know, you see. Then a kind of 'blankness', but not in a bad sense, took place. I began to lose the interest in the world out there, in going out home etc, but I'm no way 'depressive' or something as people think, on the contrary, this freshness that remains due to the end of wasting energy in a thing that doesn't exist at all, is something that changed my day-by-day without a chance to get back to that former way of life.

Questions on the subject don't arise anymore, at all. Then sometimes a few thoughts appear, I was wondering 'why is that I'm acting in a way so hard regarding all the spiritual things?', then I found your site and wrote to you. I know that it's nothing but that accumulated knowledge which is writing this and acting that way that is written here, no self here at all. But sometimes another thought appears: "and if such a behaviour is ‘bad’?", but it soon disappears, as I realized that there's nothing to the 'two sides of the coin' at all, that they're the only and same, and that there's not even any coin at all. It's all thought cheating itself in order to don’t be killed by the acceptance of the fact that it’s nothing but a bunch of concepts, an ‘operational system’, running and cheating the ‘machine’, the body.

If thought were not here, this machine would have a chance to be something extraordinary, life's energy is 'something' immeasurable, you know. But, you see, not a chance. Thought is the only instrument and it's useless, any movement that it's making in order to escape from itself is itself the same way, you know. And its uselessness is not something 'wrong', Nature could not be that failure, it's useless because there's no need to make any movement in order to realize anything because that natural state is already there, you don't need to take a travel to the place where you already are. And any movement in order to reach such a place will just distract/‘remove’ you from that place because you're already there. Then you’re sort of ‘dissolved’ in the total absence of questioning, seeking, wanting/thinking etc, you know. And this is the way I find myself from then on.

Well, this is what I realized, Sir.

You see, I don't know if those books will be useful to me, but I'll ready them, without doubt, and I thank you once again for them. Nisargadatta's "Prior to Consciousness" I know, I did read it, and that "Autobiography..." by you I was reading on your site that day, it was what led me to feel that you could be the right person for me to write to. I'll continue to read it now that you gave me the e-book version.

Thank you very much.



PS: You see, that space, all that 'data-bank' IS the only 'real I' that there is. You see, not even 'I am' because there's no one here to be anything anyway at all. You already are, period. And what would be necessary something else?

That knowledge is all that 'we' are, and there's nothing beyond. If not by thought/accumulated knowledge we don't exist, we're nothing but false impressions of thought itself. We are knowledge.
We are the knowledge running the machine. We are ‘the problem’ in the machine. Once one realizes that 'he' is nothing but that knowledge, something dead, he is finished.

You see, he knows that it was all myths, he is a myth. He not even existed, never, at all.

Body will be reshuffled by nature and the rest of mankind will be operated by that only and same accumulated rubbish, and that’s the only continuity of life that exists. And the body can't know even if it's alive, much less if it will 'die' some day.

Then what remains is spontaneous living, without fear. It's this ‘freshness’, all that accumulated knowledge can’t influence me anymore, nothing can influence me anymore.

I'm nothing but a myth and life's energy somehow took the control back and still keeps a background memory of 'me' (we’re only finally killed when we die, there’s no way to be totally free from thought while still living), then I don't even worry about anything at all.

Truly, I'm in a way now that I'm stopping even to ponder if such a totally spontaneous behaviour is 'wrong' or 'not'. Strangely, the more I realize things as they are, the more strange phenomena seem to take place. Visions, sudden absences of perception, a sort of waking-dream experience, something funny and strange too, lights, flashes surrounding my head, my body, a protuberance appeared on my forehead, and those feelings, as if a electric current was running up the spine, are occurring again, perhaps so intense as they used to happen when I was younger.

Yet, the 'I am' is 'here', but without a complement - "I am...(something)", only 'I am', only pure being. But I'm aware that even such an 'entity' is an illusion, of course. And I'm even aware of the fact that this very knowledge is also knowledge/thought itself. Then the realization that there's nothing to realize because there's no one to realize anything at all simply made me lost the whole interest in anything. This is what happened to me.

I never went to India or somewhere else, I just wanted 'That' so much, 'That' that all teachings promise in 'the end', that 'Goal', I wanted ‘it’ with all my heart, all my soul, and I almost died for two times at least due to those spontaneous events during the kriya yoga times, because I wanted it for real.

I used to live totally surrended to God and begging Him "give me 'That' if possible, please!", and many strange powers and things happened - once even a kind of lizard came and performed the 'namaste' gesture greeting me! And powers, siddhis, you know, I began to perceive them, I was wondering 'how are these things possible?!'. I could think something and that thing certainly would manifest soon, and then over and over and over again.

I also discovered that I could move some objects just by means of thought, without touching them, and I could know things about people who I had never seen before, and many other strange things.
I was totally lost too, sometimes total absence of who I am used to take place, I began to ponder if I was not suffering from alzheimer or something similar, but I could remember everything later, it was just a spontaneous, sudden absence of identity, only  pure ‘beingness’ was running the machine, without Samuel there anymore.

And once I realized that that Samuel is also a myth, the whole movement ('search' etc) ceased to occur. It's not that I realized any thing, I have no way to know, understand? If you asked me: "But, substantially, what happened to you?" I'll have to answer "nothing happened to me at all". I really don't know.

I tell you that this which is writing is just as a background now because it's a fact that I'm living all the time, but I have no way to tell you that I'm a 'self-realized', an 'enlightened' man or anything, you see, I question even such subjects, are there such things? No.



I am not sure you wanted a response to your 2,200 word statement (rant).

Over 2,200 words repeating the same point over and over, yet giving the impression of complete confusion.

Yes, even consciousness is not real. It is a concept. Even saying it is a concept is a concept.

Yes, the mind has extreme limits and nothing from it can be trusted, especially communication.

Yes, YOU is just a concept made for people that will not accept they are total nothingness. They would kill me if they thought I was saying nothing about them was real. You have seen through it all and yet are still confused. Why?

Yes, these body changes come along with visions and powers, but so what? They all go away too.

Just rest in total emptiness with its profound peace and beauty.

If it is not peaceful for you yet, it will be.

Then in that stillness you will see something, intuit something, not in consciousness, not in thought. You will watch the various mindstates, states of consciousness, body, phenomena come and go, and the knowledge will come that you are none of this. All this falseness happens to you, and you stand apart, untouched. This knowledge may be articulated by the mind through words, but it arises from an apprehension that far precedes the mind.

Already you feel the untouched part, but it is not clear why you feel it. Stay in the silence as much as possible.


SAM's Angry Response:

Ah, yes, I didn't want a response, I wasted my time (and what time? It's a mere concept, uh?) writing a '2.200 word rant' for nothing, after all, it's all concept, right?

"Over 2,200 words repeating the same point over and over, yet giving the impression of complete confusion."

Yes, I was probably completely confused, of course, or I wouldn't have wasted the fucking muscles of my hands typing and re-typing 'over 2.200 words repeating the same point over and over' to someone who can't even understand the fact - and I wrote about it, it's there among those '2.200 word rant' - that my English is not that good. But, of course, you're a 'self-realized' 'sage' and I'm just a confused idiotic bastard bothering you with my 2.200 non-sense words, uh? 

"Just rest in total emptiness with its profound peace and beauty.

If it is not peaceful for you yet, it will be."

Why worry about such things if 'total emptiness/total confusion' 'peace/war', 'beauty/ugliness', 'being peaceful' etc is all that same shit I repeated in over 2.200 confused words? The movement to 'rest in total emptiness...' or 'being peaceful' or whatever is the 'goal' is exactly what is creating the problem, this is all I'm trying to say, to explain, the understanding I have, and even after noted that I wrote over 2.200 words you still didn't get it, if I'm not wrong. Is not the very want to rest in whatever you name it or to be in whatever state you call it what is preventing the primordial state, natural state or whatever you call it to prevail? Because you people write that there's something 'beyond', something 'extraordinary', something 'blissful' in 'the end', an 'ultimate reality' or something, but it's not what I've found, on the contrary. Is not the 'ultimate reality' merely another concept? If you can't give me an answer, it's obvious that it is. And, 'in the end', you helped me a lot, and I mean for real, you gave me the confirmation that all gurus are bogus, we don't need anything, no 'goal', nothing to realize, nothing to understand, much less someone to 'follow' or even to ask anything, everything is all within us, all the power is in the man, but he silly seeks out there, as if he had not a head of his own and would need another head upon to think for him. And it's all the same, thoughts, rubbish. Search itself was the biggest thought's trap.

Thank you very much anyway.

All the best,



Tisk, tisk, such anger and rage. There certainly is someone there that reacted VERY STRONGLY, isn't there?

All the states come and go, yet there is a knower at the center, the zero point. You haven't seen it yet. You have the first stage awakening with a very angry and fragile ego still very much alive and in control.


PS: Sam has discovered a truth, namely no truth. He wrote 2,200 words about his discovery of a natural state of the body, which he accepts has the only existence, all the rest is mind and concepts. He alleges he has transcended spirituality and sees even I Am is an illusion. Yet when Muzika points out his 2,200 words only make the same point over and over, and asks whether he wanted a response, Sam gets very upset and calls me a porkchop so to speak. His anger and rage is directed at me who he calls a fake guru because I question his expression of his experience and that his experience is the final one. Yet, what are the qualities of his discovered "natural state?" No peace, no compassion, no love, just a body functioning in a so called natural state, which appears quite self-contained and not attached to humanity or other sentient beings at all.

His "discovery" is the same as U.G. Krishnamurti's and leads just to a neo-Advaita awakening and no more. But he misses the biggest step of all, which so far has not happened to him, and with this mindset, maybe never will.

19 September 2010

I once asked Robert if Rajneesh was enlightened.  Very quietly, and with his face turned away from me, he said, "Yes." It was not a deep question, just the usual stupid question asked by any spiritual shopper, but I guess I didn't have anything clever to ask him that day. 

When I posted this a few months ago I got a lot of negative responses from people who had the opinion Rajneesh was not enligtened, including soem professional swami types. People talked about his 93 Rolls Royces, his prescription drug use, and his students, which many judge as bad somehow. But all that is surface stuff. The surface goes on even if the inner part is dead and gone.

When I remember looking at Rajneesh videos, what immediately affected me was: 1. His inner silence; his steady gaze; his sense of humor. Those were Robert's characteristics too.

I think Rajneesh published altogether too many books. It is hard to tease out the highest teachings when there are too many words. The same is true for Robert. You will find hundreds of contradictions within Robert's body of talks. They are just talks, just philosophy, techniques and pointers. Sometimes he just made things up and he even tells people he just made the things up for entertainment. It is all mind stuff, words, concepts, and truth is never found in words.

But Robert's "highest truth" was also the one he announced most often: "You don't exist! You never existed. You are like an optical illusion." 

Non-existence and illusion are complicated topics because non-existence has several levels which I won't go into here. Basically the two non-existences are: You don't exist as a body/mind, these are just concepts, and then more completely, you don't even exist as consciousness, experience. You are absolute nothingness. The bubble of consciousness is just an illusion too.

I just saw these words from Rajneesh today, all they are exactly on:

"Beyond enlightenment you enter into nothingness.

Experience disappears, experiencer disappears.

Just pure nothingness remains, utter silence.

This is the destiny of every human being, sooner or later to be achieved.

They have enjoyed everything. They have enjoyed the purity of individuality; now they have to enjoy the disappearing of individuality. They have seen the beauty of individuality; now they have to see the disappearance and its beauty, and the silence that follows, that abysmal serenity that follows."