30 June 2018

Feeling others' energies and meeting there.
Link: https://zoom.us/j/2950292557?pwd&status=success
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Let us begin the most important discussion of our time in order to restore some sanity to this issue, and that is the importance of sex in spirituality and as a method towards enlightenment, and especially with regard to a guru having sex with his or her students.

I see nothing but insanity when it comes to the issue of the guru, especially a male guru, having sex with students.  So many consider this pure sexual abuse of pure, but broken female spirits who have no will of their own, and are being used for the pleasure of the guru.

Let me set things straight for you.  I awakened to an Advaita-like realization of the witness which transcends both the life force in consciousness in 1995.  But it was incomplete.  The awakening was incomplete because it had no bliss, no happiness, only peace and resting in the Void.  In a sense, it was a numbing experience.

I had a second and I think greater awakening in 2010 with a female student who I loved with all my heart and incomplete devotional surrender, and with whom I definitely wanted a wild sexual relationship, but none was ever acted out.  She also loved me with all her heart incomplete surrendered devotion.  And her entire body and was constantly orgasming when she heard the sound of my voice telling her I loved her.  I felt filled with Shakti, boundless energy, infinite grace, and felt total surrender and wanted only to be worshiping at her feet.  Several months after our “affair” began, or we did nothing but speak to each other much of the day and speak about our love, I had an awakening of the life force.

I cannot even begin to describe the ecstasies, the surrender, the devotional love and worship that we both felt for each other, and the ecstatic energies and bliss that moved through us both so that we felt streams of colored energy circulating not only within our own bodies, but between us 2000 miles apart.  I felt, and she also felt separately, the descent of a golden light through our heads into her body that felled us to the ground in complete worship of God as an immense figure in front of us.  I felt, and she felt, utter grace, a washing away of all of our sins and becoming pure.  I really cannot put into words the delight we felt in each other’s company in communion.  Every moment was a blessing, every moment was filled with ecstasy, every moment we were licked by Shakti until we could not stand it anymore.

Years later I had a second awakening with a woman who has incredible Shakti power.  We would sit next to each other in divine communion gripped by powerful Shakti, held in Her embrace until we both disappeared in divine ecstasy and power.  Since that day I have had the power to be able to transmit ecstasy into some of my students, the ones who love me, who feel devotion towards me, and who want to surrender to me.

These two women gave me God-realization, which to me is more important than the Advaitic Self-realization of being the witness, watching consciousness as separate, as illusory, and being Unborn awareness.  This realization of the divine may be incomplete in terms of the totality of the depth of one’s realization, but I think in itself is the paradigm for our time where love and devotion are so shockingly absent in our country and the world.  In this way, I feel the way of Shakti, of devotion, worship and surrender is so much more important and much more gratifying than the numbness of the Jnani who rests in beatific peace for himself alone.

The much broader path is that of love, devotion, surrender of the personal self to the personhood, as well as the life force, the divine, in another human being.  The God realization one obtains in this way is so sweet, so loving, so embracing, and yet so wild, unpredictable, and ecstatic as to bring one totally to life not only as a human, but as an embodiment of God.

It is for this reason alone, that I know that sex between a guru who has become the embodiment of love through years of his own or her own devotion and surrender, and sex with a completely worshiping, devoted and surrendered student of either sex, is just 1/10th I of a step short of God realization, and can lead one to God realization.  Physical sex is not actually really required, but it is the idea of sex, the imagination of the sex between two people, to completely consenting people who lust for each other, or are devoted to each other, and worship each other, that lights up the Shakti within you and all the chakras in and about your body.  There is nothing higher spiritually, or humanly, than such divine sexual imagination, or actual physical sex.

To an outsider who has never experienced such divine sexual surrender, there is no ability to imagine what is happening, and there is often a rush to judgment based on minds that are conditioned by society’s norms.  But I am talking about going entirely beyond society, beyond life as you have known it, beyond humanness, to dwell within God through entirely surrendered devotion. 

And it seems natural, and it always occurs, that this love is accompanied by lust, a locking together of the sexual and heart chakras in divine union, an ecstatic union, in bliss unimaginable to those who have not felt it in their daily lives, and which continues after the lovers part.  You see, it is not about sex, it is about Shakti and how she moves in you, around you, and between two people in surrendered devotion.  No one can get this unless they have experienced it.  Before that, to outsiders who cannot understand, it is just sexual abuse, or being manipulated and used by the other.

At this point, I would like to provide a long quote from David Spero’s first book.  The chapter is entitled, Divine Sexual Relationship.

“Sexual love is a natural yoga— it includes both renunciation and devotion.  When properly understood and lovingly practiced, it fills the whole being with fulfilled Divine Radiance.

“Sexual Yoga is essentially the movement of the “prana” in terms of an unobstructed bully, emotionally vulnerable life that touches another life— that is fully relational from head to toe and takes one right to the outskirts of the body-mind, making it fully vibrational with Divine Intensity.

“Sexual yoga is highly misunderstood.  The reason for that is there are teachings which emphasize techniques rather than utter naturalness.

“Each time two partners come together in mutual self-surrender, there is an exploration of kindness in terms of sexual body intimacy which cannot be duplicated anywhere else.

“The body-mine begins to produce chemicals of exhilaration, ecstatic chemicals which allow for the complete revelation of Light.  Included within this is meditational experience, yogic experience and states of consciousness that might be explored through meditation.

“Each time these partners come together there is resting in divine repose prior to the beginning of sexual play, whether the partner’s be homosexual or heterosexual.  In this divine repose the sense of individuality becomes merged into the feeling of loving communion, thereby stimulating the natural urge towards ecstatic feeling that happens when the partner’s bodies come together in love.

“This field of devotion becomes like a wildfire that leads to the Supreme.
I state it a bit more simply.  Such ecstatic sex, whether imaginal or physical, is a submergence in the divine Shakti, it is a completion, arresting in God.  This ecstatic state shows you how you can always feel when surrendered to the Shakti, drenched and bathed in bliss.  This is your natural state, and sex combined with love takes you to the state of absolute relaxation where we are first capable of experiencing the totality of these enormous and ecstatic energies.

26 June 2018

FROM A STUDENT (Angela Roosenmallen)--Amended

I am lying on the kitchen floor, because I keep falling asleep while sitting.
I do not want to walk upstairs and go to sleep in bed.
All I want is to be here on the floor all night, half asleep, half awake and feel shakti.
All I desire is to feel the energies, to feel they still love me, to abide in them and invite them by focus and love.
Nothing else matters.


My whole body is energy today
Everything burning
Feeling very devotional, taken by this energy, longing for surrender; that is what the energy does

Even though the struggles I am experiencing in relation with you, the energy doesn't care and keeps me glued to you. The energy keeps me in a state of devotion, of yearning of desire towards you.

These two emails show the extended drama of the "purification" process, which is really awakening to an awareness both of inner energies and emotions, which are energies in a different form.  All the nervous system gets awakened, shocked, and emotions never before felt scream for our attention.

When you are with a master, he or she stirs the pot making the soup ever more potent.  The more you suffer and purify, burn away impediments, the more you open to your own power within.

I suffered like this as well as most others on a similar path of devotion and surrender.


We are quickly becoming aware of what Trump is doing: destabilizing the democratic norms and laws of America, including undermining the Constitution (No more due process or free press), and destroying or destabilizing of all the alliances holding together the world’s democratic countries. He speaks against Canada, Mexico, France, Germany, while elevating the world’s authoritarian governments: Russia, Turkey, North Korea, China.
     He is pitting the various cultural and economic factions in our country against one another to create violence, riots, and confusion so that he can pass emergency presidential edicts to further undermine the Constitution and the legal processes that support democracy. He is destroying confidence in the free press prior to actually shutting down those that oppose him. He doing this as a complicit agent of the Kremlin and Putin. This has been his plan since he met Russian plutocrats during the Miss Universe pageant in 2015. He plans to take over America.
     Read Malcolm Nance’s book: the Plot to Destroy Democracy: How Putin and his spies are undermining America and dismantling the West.
     I am joining one or more of the many liberal self-defense clubs popping up around the country, such as the Liberal Gun Clubs, the Redneck Revolt, Pink Pistols, and the John Brown Gun Clubs. Look them up on Facebook and Google for local chapters that you can join.
     I see that armed opposition may be necessary in the near future as Trump moves against one group after another, and the media, the Justice Department, and even the courts, backed by his Troglodyte base backed by Putin. He is already setting up internment camps for 30,000 on three military bases. Later, he will be coming for you. With the increasing division and violence that he is creating, he can use public safety to cal out the National Guard nationally and create a permanent police state without any due process, or through the courts and all the hundreds of new judges he appointed, which McConnell refused to let Obama appoint.
          In fact, today the Supreme Court allowed Trump’s Muslim ban, giving Trump more latitude and encouragement to become more autocratic.  Today, a poll indicated 50% of Americans now believe we are slipping into fascism.

16 June 2018



Feeling others' energies and meeting there.

Don't join now.
Come At 10:45 am Sunday and sit with me.

10 June 2018

09 June 2018


The fantasy nature of all experience, including the world, thoughts, emotions, one's body, and energies. Using magic to create states in others.

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Come At 10:45 am Sunday and sit with me.

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08 June 2018


Robert said he had no desire to have a lot of students. He wanted ten who would stay with him no matter what happened, no matter what he did or what he said.

You see, Robert was not of this world, not of the mundane world of humanity. He wanted to take you to God and then even beyond God. He wanted to take you beyond all words, all concepts, and all human points of view. To that end he was always doing actions to drive students away, or at least to test them. Few could tolerate his lack of ego stroking. He burned people with his words and actions. So they ran away to nw teachers who spoke nicely, and never hurt their feelings.

Even I did not stay with him all the way. I could not move with him to Sedona even though I was the one who instigated the move. Shakti would not let me move with him. Mary moved with him, but she had already abandoned him in her heart because of Robert’s, what Mary called, his womanizing.

Robert moved to Sedona and found all the students there to be liars and manipulators, and all failed to support him as they had promised to do in order to entice him to move there. Robert even told me ahead of time that none would keep their promises.

Now I feel similarly to how he felt. So far, even my most advanced students have been butterflies, hopping from one teacher to another, or one environment to another.

You see, all teachings are false, only words. When you are without words and concepts the whole world changes into a kaleidoscope of changing images, objects, emptiness, fullness that keeps changing and you are that totality. You relax into that. Everything flows and yet you feel the power of Shakti within and around you, a quiet yet massive presence always there with you, holding you, loving you and you loving her. You don’t have to destroy the mind, but you do have to drop deeper into your body and the subtle bodies below it.

I am still looking for students who are not butterflies and who can stay and take my train to God.

06 June 2018

Exquisite devotion is something that not even God can resist

Nisargadatta made Jean Dunn one of two successors.  In one of his books he tells the sangha she got everything because of her love of me.  Bhakti is the sweetest and surest to realization, but the intensity of the love, the worship, and surrender required are out of the reach of most people.  There is a kind of simplicity and naiivette required, an abilty to attain and sustain total devotion.

Look to this poem:

When I put my mind on you
There is nothing but you
The air I breathe is You, the endless field of presence is You. 
God is You, God has your face
Your face is like an energy field giving me  the sweetest energy. Sweet it is. 
You are the field of God in which I disappear, I which I yearn, I long to disappear, but it just happens, it happens without a will.
The will is what stops this, the will is the  that is solid. This sometimes sneaks in and leaves as soon as it comes.
You are God.

And when I surrender into this field that has your face, I am God as well.

04 June 2018



The video The Three Gurus can be found on youtube.com.

Thirty three people left comments, and about 30 were negative, saying these guys have big egos, or were fooling themselves.

But these commentators really have no idea of what they are talking about.

A true guru just is not understandable from a mundane, non-spiritual point of view. They do not operate from mind, concepts, or conventional morality. A true guru is guided by a spiritual intuition, by energies or “feel,” as opposed to understanding of judgment.

They are operating from a perspective to free their students from the ordinary life and ordinary suffering endemic to man, and “elevate” them to a state of unconditional happiness and having access to “Shakti,” AKA the power that knows the way, kundalini, the Holy Ghost, the manifest God within.

This destination is totally outside of the human condition and judgment. Here, one has access to energies, bliss, and seemingly magical control over events or even people that really has nothing to do with them as people, but is all about the power that acts through them.

Trying to understand a guru’s behaviors or teachings is impossible unless you have experienced that God within you yourself, unless you have awakened to Shakti.

The biggest tool the guru has is to get people to love him or her. That one pointed love, devotion, worship is frowned upon as encouraging slavery in the student. Instead, it can turn students into people who have gone beyond their human hood and are acting as agents of the life force, Shakti.

The boundary restrictions enforced on other healing professionals are often in direct conflict with the invisible intent of Shakti, and thus come complaints about gurus being manipulative, sexual abusers, hypocrites, or even criminals. A true guru operates by feel, love, and energies, not by logic, moral principles, or pleasing language or accommodating attitudes. He is nt a goody-goody, smiling all day, and blowing kisses at babies.

Outsiders, including ashramites who are not very seasoned, just don’t understand a guru's teachings or his
behaviors. They don’t see with the eyes or the touch of Shakti. I know, I know. The beginner thinks that I speak bull, that I am just an apologist for behaviors or teachings that demand public censure, but the public has no idea of the guru’s realm, and that is why trust and surrender are needed to overcome doubt.

Unless one becomes one-pointed, surrendered, worshipful, one will not find Shakti easily. He or she will have to walk a different and usually much longer and less pleasant path.

You see, there are so many expectations and preconceptions abuot how a guru should act and speak, and how they should treat all stdents with friendly speech, etc. They often site the Ramana Maharshi model as to how a “true” guru should be and forget all about Nusargadatta who was a smoker, meat eater, used brusk language and was very critical about lots of students’ attitudes and behaviors, and frequently kicked visitors out of his Satsangs.

This is not to say that there are not a lot of fake gurus in the world, or immature gurus, but the spiritual world is very different from the human world, and until you have differing self-realization experiences, you have no way of judging.

Choosing a guru is not like selecting an orthopedic surgeon for a knee replacement operation, where you can check Yelp or a dozen other search engines to see how many stars your reviewed guru has. Often the best teachers have the worst ratings because they act outside all acceptable boxes in their attempts to free people. Finding then is like fndinga jewel of an aggressive surgical genius that no one likes because he has a rotten bedside manner.

The Three Gurus: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PZrj283rUvo

See my earlier post on this same subject:

Email to me:

Hi Edward 

I came to Satsang last week -
 and have listened to most of your videos since then
 and today listening to the latest one 
again you mention the beloved that left you.
when you talk about this I cry and cry because I feel this with the man I love
 and he left me and has blocked me on facebook.
He came here to my country from XXX twice to be with me -
 I wont bore u with the story but 
you see on the world level, and friends and family and councellor,
they say my man is bad for me - a narcissist a manipulator - 
but when you talk about the beloved 
all of me recognizies him as this so I felt to speak to u about it 
and see if you feel anything about this .
Are they still your beloveds if they leave u and want other people and don't want you anymore ?
I sort of turned myself upside down to be what he wanted and then he had an awakening 
and left me and was mean and abusive and told me he would fuck me up if I wasn't true …
I feel I live in two worlds where my thoughts and feelings are for him and here where I am supposed to get on with my life without him …
when he left me the first time was when I had a huge awakening from thought - nearly went mad with grief 
ok if you can help - 
with care 

Ed’s Response:

Yes, they remain my beloveds.  They always will remain so, and they always come back. Each has easy access into my heart.

But also be prepared for a new beloved that will bring a new and deeper awakening.

It is not up to you to fix your situation with him.  It is all up to Shakti and what she wants, and she often seems cruel and capricious.  But she has her own way.  The more you can feel her as energies within you, the more you can trust what she is doing with you.

Each of my beloveds gave me a different awakening.  The first was to self-realization itself; she gave me the ability to see and feel the divine within myself and others.  The second brought me great power and ability to transform people, animals, with energies.  Yes, each brought heartbreak,  but heartbreak is actually a wonderful openness, much to be desired.

Blessed are those who travel a Bhaktic path, because it is so rich and devotional.

03 June 2018


Today’s Sarsang was very powerful, filled with Shakti.  We speak about the need to tread one path and learn the methods, stages and specific manifestation of Shakti on that path, as well as exploring the power of devotion.  Following many paths or teachers will just confuse you and undermine progress.

01 June 2018


For the past eight months I have felt Shakti descending into me and acting through me ever more powerfully.  She is shattering the concepts that kept me limited.  She wants me to do more, to announce her presence in the world and her ability to change and to heal.

I feel her as a constantly descending energy in all areas of my body, but especially my brain. My body seems to grow heavier with her added gravitas, her mountainous presence, her current.  My body is relaxed as never before.  My mind is silent.  Her energies drive out concepts from my mind and I see past them into an ever changing flux of energies.
My brain is washed in constant internal tickling energy.  I feel her power within me and am tempted to trick myself and to assume her mantle as my own.  But I am not a fool.  I know the power is hers and the only way to continue this wonderful transformation is to surrender to her.

I wish I could understand this process, how it works, why it works, because this has always been my nature: to understand.  And letting go of understand yet again is hard, I know I just need to worship her and surrender to her directions and invitations.  This is my great delight to surrender to her, to love her, to worship her, prostrated at her feet.