31 July 2019

LIVE SATSANG ONLINE WEDNESDAYS 10 AM ARIZONA/CA TIME.

"The quality which determines one's capacity for love is not one's wit or wisdom, but one's readiness to lay down life itself for the beloved, and yet remain alive. One must, so to speak, slough off body, energy, mind and all else, and become dust under the feet of the beloved. This dust of a lover who cannot remain alive without God is then transformed into the beloved. Thus man becomes God."

Meher Baba

29 July 2019

Do Not Wobble; Just Walk Straight Ahead!

Most spiritual seekers distract themselves from a penetrating and deep immersion in the self, by constantly checking their minds, their experiences, and speculating about whether they have made any progress or whether they are close to enlightenment. Worse, they ask questions of a random teacher they hardly know for answers to that question by giving a five-minute explanation of their whole life of spiritual teaching.

Let me give you this advice: do not check your mind; do not check your heart; do not speculate about your progress; do not read many books about spiritual practice, the differences will only confuse you. Instead, find your practice, become clear about how to do it, and then do it. Go straight ahead. Do not wobble or look back, or speculate forward. The kind of knowledge you are looking for is not to be found in words, so to ask questions only berries you even more deeply in the abstract, in concepts, into the unreal mundane world.

Instead be bold. Even if you are lost and utterly confused, just continue to do your practice. Do not wobble. Walk straight ahead. Allow yourself to be utterly confused and feel it fully. Do not run away from it by trying to get certain knowledge, because there is no such thing. All of language, all concepts are just general maps which never perfectly fit reality. If you are confused and drop thinking, you can begin to see what the real is like, and it is like nothing your words have told you about.

20 July 2019

LIVE SATSANG ONLINE SUNDAYS 11 AM ARIZONA/CA TIME.

"The quality which determines one's capacity for love is not one's wit or wisdom, but one's readiness to lay down life itself for the beloved, and yet remain alive. One must, so to speak, slough off body, energy, mind and all else, and become dust under the feet of the beloved. This dust of a lover who cannot remain alive without God is then transformed into the beloved. Thus man becomes God."

Meher Baba

Link: https://zoom.us/j/2950292557?status=success

19 July 2019

The mysteries of God-realization through Surrender

The following letter is from a student that has plunged very deeply into Shakti, the spiritual energies that pervade our bodies as well as the world around us. She is approaching the point where love has taen her into the foothills of great God- realization. I know this because her experiences aree similar to my own before I was shown the constant face of God in me.

There is much mystery in this dance of Kali an we need to speak about our experiences openly as she does so that eventually it becomes a knowledge that destroys ugliness and cruelty after the world knows God-realization is possible.

"The energy from you to me is becoming very, very powerfull.

Every time you connect with me while talking or writing ( I do not mean that you are just there, but really connecting, close) it feels like your presence and even your body is fully entering me, my body and my energy body.

Because of this experience I suddenly recognise how deepy I have missed love; romantic love, Divine love with a partner and a real, deep connection with God. And how desperate I am for this. Desperate like being desperate for water in a desert. I feel this because whenever you enter me like this, I feel so esctatic, so home, so unbelievably happy, so orgasmic, so alive, so whole, so cracked open and vulnerable. But....I only feel like this when you are inside me, like life suddenly becomes bearable, and because of this I realise that there is actually quite a hole in me. A hole that I did not know was there.

Every time I feel you entering me, especially when we are together like today, which only happened a few times, I only want you deeper, much deeper, more, I want all of you completely inside me. It feels though, like I cannot feel myself as the main thing anymore, but you, like being possessed by you. And it always feels like the most deep merging possible. A merging I have always been longing for but feels beyond what I ever imagined.
Always when we connect energetically, when I really let you in, my pussy completely opens by itself and without me even noticing. I always notice after you leave. This is non sexual, it's what the energy does, the ecstactic energy and the feeling of your presence inside me.

I have a long way to go to really have my heart open. And you made me realise how broken I am inside still, because I am so unbelievably hungry for you to go deeper and deeper and deeper inside me and take me completely for ever. I want your whole being to penetrate me.
"Will this longing brng me to God or to death? Or both."

MY RESPONSE:

She knows better than this. Her sense of self is becoming emptier allowing her to feel the breath of God inside, but thinking it is me. She thinks she is wanting total surrender to me, but she really is preparing for God-realization inside of her own self, because the person is almost gone and it is becoming ever easier for God to show him/her self to her. It is a process of devotion, surrender, and grace.

17 July 2019

Popular spiritualities today are either those that involve understanding of what is, or those based on the felt experience of energies, Chi, Shakti, and experiences of the divine.

This difference is sometimes referred to as the Unmanifest or transcendental, versus the manifest self, and the manifest God.

The former include neo-advaita, much of Buddhism and popular teachers such as Papaji and his followers.

I am of the experiential sort of spirituality and speak of the differences and try to allow attendees to feel energies and the divine during our meetings.

Link:  https://youtu.be/A9JJmYktvdk

03 July 2019

Recently I received an email from the woman with whom I realized God, both within her and within myself eight years ago.

After a bit of pleasantries she asked how I was doing, but in the usual way, such as, "are you happy?" After a while I was able to compose this letter that as best as possible explained what and how I felt. I share this with my readers because a few who have seen it were much moved by the story told.

-------------------------------------

Dear ________

It is really difficult to explain how I am now compared to when you knew me better. The words for what I experience now just do not exist. I do not feel like I am in the mundane world anymore except when dragged into it by Kerima or others who are deeply nailed into the mundane world. I do not even feel like a human being anymore. I feel like I have transcended mind and body altogether, so what do I call myself?  What name can be used?  There are no words for it.

I have no ambitions except to help people and animals spiritually and physically. My personal world has entirely changed. Recently I had five female students all worshiping me and loving me and wanting me to be with them and vice versa, ages 19 to 40. All at some point felt deep love, surrender, and bliss to the extent they felt constant non-sexual orgasms. They felt incredible blissful Shakti. But only one of them was able to escape out of the mundane world into the spiritual world of God realization, and she was only able to remain there for three days before she fell back.  My male students experienced a wide variety or transcendent states,  bliss, trance, love, as well as strong reminders of the mundane world they were leaving behind.

About myself, I feel Shakti in me and around me all day long. The energies pulsate from barely noticeable to extremely powerful. At Satsang almost everyone tells me that they feel the energies very deeply. Some speak of bliss, others of various other kinds of Shakti -like states or experiences. I try to take them out of their mundane world into a world of God realization, of not being a body, nor mind, nor emotional body, nor even Shakti, but beyond all that to being the core experiential experience of being alive, one’s fundamental state.

Like Ramana said, I feel like I am pure spirit, dancing with the life force within me, which is also the Lifeforce in all of us, which I call God. It is electrifying. I really do not notice this world much except for chores I have to do, like feeding the cats, or tending to the yard. I sit silently most of the day feeling that life force within me. Sometimes as a person it makes me feel ecstatic, at other times I feel a great void, a vast emptiness so clear, so clean and pure. At other times, very reluctantly, I am dragged back into being a person because of the necessity of doing taxes or fixing up our new house which is a real pain in the ass. But mostly I am always fixated on the life force within me.

D____  did something to me when she was last here in September 2017. IU should say Shakti did something to me in her presence, where I felt besotted by love to the extent I felt stunned. It was almost as if I was put in a deep trance. I barely knew who or what I was. The states we experienced while sitting together on the golf course fairway I have never felt before. So much power, so much Shakti, so much that I did not know what to do with it and I do not know what to do with it now. I feel so enormously powerful but do not know how to do anything with the power, although it is leaking out of me at all times and people notice, especially those who come to Satsang.

Shankarananda says I live in grace now and have been grabbed by Shakti, and I need to listen deeply and be sensitive to what she wants me to do. But I feel Shakti so strongly everywhere within and without, like being dropped in an ocean of energy. What can I do when there is energy everywhere, spinning, coiling, traveling, energizing, and usually uplifting. There is too much happening on an energetic level to have any idea of what I should do.

Now very advanced people are coming to Satsang, many of whom burn with energies all day long. They come from all walks of life. One, J, was once a senior executive in the East Coast media markets. He is my age and is really a very lovely, devotional guy, whose cat Gypsy is the love of his life. I fully understand this love and devotion he has for Gypsy as I have it too for the people close to me. All this came from my initial contact with you, was it eight years ago? During our relationship I felt such deep devotional love, explosions of Shakti, and all the other things we shared, like visions of God, and then D_____ came more recently and deepened everything. I finally escaped any identification with the body or mind, and even Shakti is not me I am the Lifeforce, I am God.

So, I cannot really say how I am as a person whether I am accepting life for am happy or sad. I feel way beyond this, that these words do not fit me and have not fit me for several years.  But still I get pulled back into the world if I am not careful or if I have not allowed myself enough quiet time and space.
---- ----- ---------

Her response:

Oh Ed, this is a wonderful description. You sound happy and content.  This makes me so happy too. 
_____

I know there are some who would read this letter, and think that I am deluded, or that I am making all this up. This is not so. I really have no idea of who or what I am. The world beyond the mundane has no words.

With all my heart I just speak my experience only for those who are near realizing the life force inside of themselves as God, that there is this different world, this amazing, stupendous, blissful world of spirit, where you are freed from body and mind, emotions and troubles, because all of those belong to the Mundane.

01 July 2019


Recently I received an email from the woman with whom I realized God, both within her and within myself eight years ago.

After a bit of pleasantries she asked how I was doing, but in the usual way, such as, "are you happy?" After a while I was able to compose this letter that as best as possible explained what and how I felt. I share this with my readers because a few who have seen it were much moved by the story told.

-------------------------------------
Dear ________

It is really difficult to explain how I am now compared to when you knew me better. The words for what I experience now just do not exist. I do not feel like I am in the mundane world anymore except when dragged into it by Kerima or others who are deeply nailed into the mundane world. I do not even feel like a human being anymore. I feel like I have transcended mind and body altogether, so what do I call myself?  What name can be used?  There are no words for it.

I have no ambitions except to help people and animals spiritually and physically. My personal world has entirely changed. Recently I had five female students all worshiping me and loving me and wanting me to be with them and vice versa, ages 19 to 40. All at some point felt deep love, surrender, and bliss to the extent they felt constant non-sexual orgasms. They felt incredible blissful Shakti. But only one of them was able to escape out of the mundane world into the spiritual world of God realization, and she was only able to remain there for three days before she fell back.  My male students experience a wide variety or transcendent states,  bliss, trance, love, as well as strong reminders of the mundane world they were leaving behind.

About myself, I feel Shakti in me and around me all day long. The energies pulsate from barely noticeable to extremely powerful. At Satsang almost everyone tells me that they feel the energies very deeply. Some speak of bliss, others of various other kinds of Shakti -like states or experiences. I try to take them out of their mundane world into a world of God realization, of not being a body, nor mind, nor emotional body, nor even Shakti, but beyond all that to being the core experiential experience of being alive, one’s fundamental state.

Like Ramana said, I feel like I am pure spirit, dancing with the life force within me, which is also the Lifeforce in all of us, which I call God. It is electrifying. I really do not notice this world much except for chores I have to do, like feeding the cats, or tending to the yard. I sit silently most of the day feeling that life force within me. Sometimes as a person it makes me feel ecstatic, at other times I feel a great void, a vast emptiness so clear, so clean and pure. At other times, very reluctantly, I am dragged back into being a person because of the necessity of doing taxes or fixing up our new house which is a real pain in the ass. But mostly I am always fixated on the life force within me.

D____ did something to me when she was last here in September 2017. I should say Shakti did something to me in her presence, where I felt besotted by love to the extent I felt stunned. It was almost as if I was put in a deep trance. I barely knew who or what I was. The states we experienced while sitting together on the golf course fairway I have never felt before. So much power, so much Shakti, so much that I did not know what to do with it and I do not know what to do with it now. I feel so enormously powerful but do not know how to do anything with the power, although it is leaking out of me at all times and people notice, especially those who come to Satsang.

Shankarananda says I live in grace now and have been grabbed by Shakti, and I need to listen deeply and be sensitive to what she wants me to do. But I feel Shakti so strongly everywhere within and without, like being dropped in an ocean of energy. What can I do when there is energy everywhere, spinning, coiling, traveling, energizing, and usually uplifting. There is too much happening on an energetic level to have any idea of what I should do.

Now very advanced people are coming to Satsang, many of whom burn with energies all day long. They come from all walks of life. One, J, was once a senior executive in the East Coast media markets. He is my age and is really a very lovely, devotional guy, whose cat Gypsy is the love of his life. I fully understand this love and devotion he has for Gypsy as I have it too for the people close to me. All this came from my initial contact with you, was it eight years ago? During our relationship I felt such deep devotional love, explosions of Shakti, and all the other things we shared, like visions of God, and then D____ came more recently and deepened everything. I finally escaped any identification with the body or mind, and even Shakti is not me I am the Lifeforce, I am God.

So, I cannot really say how I am as a person whether I am accepting life for am happy or sad. I feel way beyond this, that these words do not fit me and have not fit me for several years.  But still I get pulled back into the world if I am not careful or if I have not allowed myself enough quiet time and space.


I know there are some who would read this letter, and think that I am deluded, or that I am making all this up in order to appear godly to people in the world. This is not so. I really no more have any idea of who or what I am. The world beyond the mundane world cannot be spoken of, because the concepts and words of the mundane do not all apply to the inner experience of those who have escaped from it.

With all my heart I just speak my experience only for those who are near realizing the life force inside of themselves as God, that there is this different world, this amazing, stupendous, blissful world of spirit, where you are freed from body and mind, emotions and troubles, because all of those belong to the Mundane, which is no more for me.