Self-Knowledge and Self-Realization

Email to me:

Hi Edward 

I came to Satsang last week -

 and have listened to most of your videos since then

 and today listening to the latest one 

again you mention the beloved that left you.

when you talk about this I cry and cry because I feel this with the man I love

 and he left me and has blocked me on facebook.

He came here to my country from XXX twice to be with me -

 I wont bore u with the story but 

you see on the world level, and friends and family and councellor,

they say my man is bad for me - a narcissist a manipulator - 

but when you talk about the beloved 

all of me recognizies him as this so I felt to speak to u about it 

and see if you feel anything about this .

Are they still your beloveds if they leave u and want other people and don't want you anymore ?

I sort of turned myself upside down to be what he wanted and then he had an awakening 

and left me and was mean and abusive and told me he would fuck me up if I wasn't true …

I feel I live in two worlds where my thoughts and feelings are for him and here where I am supposed to get on with my life without him …

when he left me the first time was when I had a huge awakening from thought - nearly went mad with grief 

ok if you can help - 

with care 

Ed’s Response:

Yes, they remain my beloveds.  They always will remain so, and they always come back. Each has easy access into my heart.

But also be prepared for a new beloved that will bring a new and deeper awakening.

It is not up to you to fix your situation with him.  It is all up to Shakti and what she wants, and she often seems cruel and capricious.  But she has her own way.  The more you can feel her as energies within you, the more you can trust what she is doing with you.

Each of my beloveds gave me a different awakening.  The first was to self-realization itself; she gave me the ability to see and feel the divine within myself and others.  The second brought me great power and ability to transform people, animals, with energies.  Yes, each brought heartbreak,  but heartbreak is actually a wonderful openness, much to be desired.

Blessed are those who travel a Bhaktic path, because it is so rich and devotional.