Self-Knowledge and Self-Realization

SENT TO ME:


Dear Ed,

  Thank you for your site and all you do for those of us stumbling around in the dark. 

  I understand from your teachings and from the resources you lead us to, that the "I" is not something that can be observed or "seen" but can be experienced or felt.

RESPONSE:

Yes and no. It can be located by searching and experienced as a singularity, as something different from ordinary objects, because it is ultimately the subject wearing different self-object feelings and ideas that have to be transcended.

 TO ME:

I also noticed that you and other teachers have mentioned "falling backwards into the self". It seems that the  "I am" or the self can not be found, but it can be experienced as "seeing from".

RESPONSE:

Yes and no. It can be found, it can be researched, probed, felt, thought about, but ultimately one has to relax and abide in it. 

 

TO ME:

When I look at things visually and let go I sometimes get a sense of something behind my eyes. When I close my eyes the same sense is felt in my chest.

RESPONSE:

Many people experience it in many different ways. You can watch it, probe it, fall back into it. The point is to get to know it and then learn how to abide in it.  You need to realize this is not truly you, but the first I Am-like entity that has to be seen through and transcended. 

 

TO ME:

Robert talked often about "effortless, choiceless awareness".

RESPONSE:

Robert may have used the term a few times, but that is really Krishnamurti. Others may have brought up Krishnamurti at Satsang, and he talked about it. Robert advised an active self-inquiry, making effort.

 TO ME:

Did he mean that our true self is the act of looking, hearing, feeling, etc.?

RESPONSE:

No, no, no. You are entirely beyond the world and experience. He advised actively searching within one's subjectivity for the source of I, which is an individual search and may be similar but not identical to anyone else's search.  In "Hunting the I," I tried to cover many bases for many people. But ultimately, each person's search is their own responsibility.

 

TO ME:

Or should I try to isolate the feeling I mentioned before? When I read the Gita I get a similar feeling in my chest, almost like intense yearning. 

 

 Am I off the trail completely?

M. 



RESPONSE:


By all means try to isolate the sensations, then play with them. They will change just by the process of observation. When you feel you are sure what the I Am feeling is, watch it, and then try to merge and abide in it. This is the real beginning of self-inquiry, abiding in the I.