29 April 2010


I am currently going through this "process" up in northern California. I have no teacher but I have practiced a combination of methods for self inquiry for the last 20 years. The layers of perception are quite tricky at times but I see clearly that continued practice will have the result. On the other hand of course, the desired result is not really desired nor is there a result to have or anybody to have it...just so you know what I am saying... thought there is no true "I" to say it. For the sake of argument I use the old vernacular while I send the email that does not really exist.
You are still holding onto a lot of concepts. No need for advaita talk, I understand you.
The issue that comes to me that causes fear is the sense that there is no purpose or meaning to all this if there is no me to enjoy it or be happy. So whats the point then?

Because there is great happiness without an I to enjoy it. That's the point.
Is it up to my relative decision on the point since there is no point...is it just that once the supreme ultimate is gained that the act of being that unmanifested awareness naturally flows a state of compassion and we simply begin to be that grateful loving empty vessel? I suppose that is enough isn't it...to then go on living the rest of our lives as an ego-less compassionate being that helps where they can and needs not the rewards. The rewards are inherent since we are one, since we are empty, since the existence is a convenient way to temporarily fill the void with the illusion that it was empty. A hungry void is a hungry void...and not.

So many concepts are wrapped into your understanding. Leave them alone. Just be the happiness that comes with being nobody. The real trick is to become nobody. After that, there is no problems such as you raise. They all disappear in complete peace and happiness. 

Well I am very pleased to have found your websites. Right now I practice SUBUD, Zen and vipassana along with other methods of lesser illusion that just feel like part of the deal. I am a house holder with a wife and 2 kids so I struggle with the mud coating the lenses as I bounce along making money for the stuff we think we need to live in this multi-tasking basket of modern day suffering billion strong humanity roller coaster.  More and more I look to the garden I am planting...=)

I guess my main question to "you" really is: Is an email correspondence possible with one such as yourself or is that a waste of time (for you)? 

No waste. But I highly advise only practicing abiding in the self. Do nothing more than that for 3-4 weeks. I am sending the Nisargadatta Gita. Download it and print it out. Start every morning reading a little, contemplating it, then meditating on the I Am.

If possible "I" would like to find a teacher to work with soon as "I" feel that these changes in awareness are accelerating to a potentially challenging stage, meaning that it might become a bit difficult to maintain a stable environment for my children. Any help is appreciated, but it is understood if that is not possible. A reference to someone who can would also suffice. 


Just read the Nisargadatta Gita. You already understand the complexities of "Hunting the I." A few pages every morning. Your everyday life will adjust around you, no need for you to worry about how you will control the environment for them. You never did control it; it only appeared that way because your apparent "will" was more or less aligned with the common thought patterns of humanity.

1 comment:

  1. “There is great happiness without an I to enjoy it. That's the point. Just be the happiness that comes with being nobody. The real trick is to become nobody.” –Ed

    This is beautifully said, excellent to know and worth remembering, something to hold on to during the difficult moments. I wish I had read it earlier today, it may have saved me the time I spent walking through my empty house ranting at God, releasing the pressure that seems to build up sometimes.

    As the pop song goes "It's the end of the world as we know it, and I feel fine." Is it my attitude toward the process that determines whether it is experienced as a gentle melting of glue, the ripping out of sutures, or the explosion of a roadside bomb? Can I control the speed and intensity at which this spiritual earthquake destroys the world as I know it, whether all at once or through a series of smaller aftershocks, or do I only have control over my response to the process of dissolution?

    Thank you for posting these letters and your responses Ed. As it was mentioned, these from today seemed to speak directly to my own questions and recent experience.