Self-Knowledge and Self-Realization

Don't waste precious time like this student. Life is brief.

Hello Ed,

Thank you for your website Ed, the talks by Robert Adams are fascinating.

For the past two years I have been studying the teachings of Ramana Maharshi, Nisargadatta Maharaj and others. On the recommendation of those teachers I have attempted to practice self-inquiry. Unfortunately, I have not had the sense that these attempts at self-inquiry have meant much, the practice has only confused me and I find that I am not drawn to it, at least at this time.

Instead I am interested in "opening the third eye", according to you the result being the illumination of inner space and eventually an awarness of the "clear light of the void". I am interested in part because of past meditation experiences (doing anapanasati) in which inner flashes of light and clarity occured to me. I have already tried practicing focusing my attention on the light behind the "third eye" since reading about this on your website. Afterwards I felt pleasantly expanded and clearer.

My question is about what this process of opening the third eye means exactly. As I take it from your website, discovering the void is important in the path to realization, after peering into the void the practice of self-inquiry is needed to find the ultimate witness of the void and all consciousness.

What is the void exactly? Is it okay to postpone inquiry until this point on the path or should I still make attempts at doing it right now also? And what preliminary experiences should I expect in practicing opening the third eye?

On a side note, before going to sleep, I have begun to listen to chanting (OM) by your recommendation. It is quite relaxing, thank you.

K.

RESPONSE:

The void has many guises. Sometimes people describe it as darkness.

But by void, I mean you always feel everything is surrounded and contained in an empty mental space that is self-illumined. The void is an element of consciousness that extends everywhere. But the void is as unreal as everyday consciousness. What you want to know is that which perceives both the void and the world.

To find THAT which perceives the world, you need to go backwards and retreat into the sense of I-ness.

Attached is the Nisargadatta Gita. Download it, print it out and read it every morning for a bit. Ponder the words, meditate on the I Amness.

Read chapter eight of the attached book the Path of Sri Ramana.

Don't get too distracted by the void. Do it, but self enquiry is far more powerful if you do it right.

Ed

Thank you Ed for your timely reply,

I will try to do what you advise but the problem with self-inquiry is that I have found no satisfaction in it, there is no intuitive sense that it is a meaningful practice. Of course, I may just have been practicing it incorrectly and probably was but is it common for beginners to be discouraged with self-inquiry? How do I know I'm making progress with it?

K.

RESPONSE:

Yes, because they do not know how to practice it.

They think it a simple repetition of questioning, "Who Am I?," or they can't get ahold of a sense of I Am. Some maybe are not ready for it because they don't want to look inside themseleves.

Self inquiry consistes of reading the right things, pondering, introspection, and meditation, maybe for many years. It is the only method I practiced. The Third Eye opened because of it.

If you want to learn how to concentrate on a candle flame, you can learn how to do that one pointedly in a week, but you'll never get anything out of it.

Self-inquiry is like a life of psychotherapy, attention, focus, and thinking precision. It is high level difficult stuff.

Ed

From K.

The "I am" is the primary thought that precedes all conceptual thinking. So, it makes sense that Ramana said the "I am" is the first to wake up out of sleep and then the world follows.

Following that logic, is it correct that the "I am" is the very last thought before drifting into sleep? If so, it would make sense to me.

RESPONSE:

Makes sense. I never thought about it.

From K.

Perhaps self-inquiry can be practiced by going to the edge of sleep and abiding in that state with a mind keen in identifying the "I am".

RESPONSE:

That is very difficult to do.

It is better to immerse oneself i the feeling I Am when fully awake because you can do that anytime, not just the moments before and after sleep.

From K.

There is a feeling mostly associated with the chest, torso and arms that is constant throughout the day, the mind rests in that when thinking is quieted and nearing sleep, this must be the feeling "I am"?

Ramana said with a little practice self-inquiry can be done even in the midst of activity, Annamalai swami who was a devotee of Ramana's and considered enlightened in his own right said self-inquiry must be done constantly or it does not work. Working almost any job requires almost uninterrupted thinking, I don't see how inquiry could be practiced in the midst of work rather just when sitting and meditating?

Thanks. K.

RESPONSE:

I am is the feeling that you exist. It is also called a sense of presence. But it is also the one who witnesses. Maybe that is how you experience I Am, but it doesn't sound like it.

You read too much and form too many opinions on too slim a basis.

Just read the Gita and let nature take its course.

Meditation for the sake of meditation WILL PRODUCE NO USEFUL RESULT WHATSOEVER.

Ed

From K.

Hello,

I have been reading the Gita and meditating these past few days but I cannot seem to be able to get at this "I am" sense. I have been trying to do this for just over two years now ever since I was touched learning about the life of Sri Ramana Maharshi, so its not like I'm squirming like an impatient child. There simply does not seem to be a thought "I". Sure, I know I exist and it is easy enought to examine that fact but that knowing or feeling is amorphous and can't be pin-pointed. If the point is mental quietness there are various ways to get at this I don't understand what makes self-inquiry so special. It seems futile to me.

Thanks,

K.

RESPONSE:

Yes, the knowing and feeling I Am cannot be pinpointed. It is amophous and it is different from the thought I. This is what to focus on. Try "falling backwards" into the feeling, as if it were a background.

That you cannot perceive an I thought is astounding because it is only a thought like any other, except all other thoughts are connected to it.

If you cannot perceive the I thought, you are unlikely to be able to perceive any thought. Is this true?

The Void is just another phenomena, like anything in existence.

Ed

From K.

I've got it now. It took me just a few moments imagining falling backward. I suppose it was just to obvious for me to get right away.

The I seems to be both a thought and a bodily sensation.

RESPONSE:

Yes focus on the sensation, and also try to fall backwards into the sensation. Play with it. Get to know it.

Ed

From K.

Hello Ed,

Contemplating the I yesterday I was struck by an urge in the form of a query: what does it mean to observe/be aware? The inner question focused my efforts in investigating the I from casually noticing to deep meditation and enjoyment. I understand even more why Sri Ramana advised his devotees to ask themselves who am I, there is a potent emotional force in wanting to know what it means to exist.

My question to you however, is more mundane and one you must get asked a lot. Why is it that so many seek after self-realization or enlightenment and fail, even after spending many decades meditating? Could it be simply that those many nameless failed meditators never turned away from inner and outer objects toward the subject? Also, why are there those such as Osho, who are considered realized (Osho even by Adams apparently) and yet lack basic integrity? Another example being this Adi Da character. The first personage I associated non-dualism with was (besides the buddha) Ramana Maharshi who was a great example of kindness, patience, honesty and humility. I find it hard to believe such immoral characters could have been realized. These may seem like petty questions to you but I am sincerely curious.

Thanks,

K.

RESPONSE:

This is a complicated subject that would take about 30 pages to explain. I recomend reading Michael James Happiness and the Art of Being (which is attached to this email)-attached.

Sometimes just small changes in a way a person practices self inquiry can make a huge difference. So you have to play around with it.

A true guru really has little involvement with the world and he would usually be indifferent to what is happening around him, from chaos to sweetness. The point is, don't judge, because any judgment is based on a conventional viewpoint, and a truly enlightened being will piss everyone off because they are beyond convention.

Ed

From K.

Hi Mr. Muzika,

I wonder what importance you place on absorption states or samadhis?

Michael James says that self-inquiry, practiced correctly, should bring about a state of thoughtless clear self-conscious awareness. In other words samadhi.

Which leads the question that given the fact that samadhi or absorption can be gained through, say, focusing on the breath rather than the I sense of what great importance is the I sense if samadhi is the goal?

You have suggested that I play with the I sense, which must mean observe it in relation to thought and the body. You wrote in your previous email to me that sometimes small changes in the way self-inquiry is practiced can make a huge difference. So, I'm guessing you don't place much importance in the thoughtless state called samadhi.

Thanks,

K. 

RESPONSE:

Don't you see you are raising all kinds of irrelevant-to-enlightenment questions?

They are good questions in their own right, but you have an endless amount of them, which means you are doing far more thinking than using the mind to discover your true nature and awaken.

Are you really interested in awakening?

Ed

From K.

Hi Ed,

 I'm dead-set on awakening.

I don't really care about any of the questions I asked you in my last e-mail, you replied quickly before and I was taking advantage of that, basically, for my entertainment.

Sorry, I shouldn't waste your time, I read your blog and see that you help a lot of serious people. I apologize and I hope you take me seriously when I say I'm dead-set on awakening. You don't know how happy your website has made me.

I have been meditating more and I've come to what I think is a better understanding of self-inquiry.

I can notice the I-sense passively in association with my body and I can concentrate on the feeling. Noticing passively, the I-sense feels basically concentrated in a straight line from the top of my head to my groin area in the front of my body. When I notice it I have a thought of it like white, or light, if you will. Noticing the I-sense passively I notice how it relates to thinking which imposes itself on it and mixes with it, so to speak. I can "fall backward" and allow the I-sense to come in more clearly throughout the body, like whiteness taking over.

I spend more time concentrating on the feeling because it is much more enjoyable. When I do this I don't really experience the I-sense in association with the body, I experience it as simply awareness as opposed to thought. Like a mirror, a constant reflection with temporary bits of thought like dust obscuring it. There is a very satisfying sense of clarity at certain moments concentrating on the I-sense deeply like this. I know this self-awareness is the feeling that is returned to between periods of being lost in thought and is actually constant, with thought moving about, again, mixing with it, so to speak.

Intuitively, I have also started meditating on the perception of the body itself, as if to make my perception of my body disappear. A sense of hollowness, mainly in my abdomen, has been developing and it feels right to make it increase throughout the body. I feel that if I could meditate an entire day on this feeling I could make it go away, at least temporarily, though I might be deluded in that thought. I experience this hollowness as darkness or blackness, in contrast to the white line of the I-sense, which again, goes in a straight line from the top of my head to my groin area in the front of my body. I have found myself unable to experience my body in as many ways as before, if that makes any sense to you. Also, I'm afraid to meditate too long this way because it creates an uncomfortable sensation at the bottom of my spine and odd feelings of inner movement.

I also spend about ten or fifteen minutes a day meditating on the third eye as you recommend, because of the interesting effects you said this would produce.

Does any of this mean anything to you? Am i making any sense here?

As a pointless side question, if you're willing to humor me, I was wondering if sakti can be transferred through a photograph. I've seen a picture of you, Ramana and as it happens UG Krishnamurti, with the same odd effect. This sounds strange but could you meditate on a photograph like this to an effect?

Thanks,

K.

RESPONSE:

(Comment: I guess I did not respond to this. I can't find one. But I certainly did not encourage him to practice any Third Eye meditation. I encouraged him only to practice attending to the I Am sense.)

From K.

Hi Ed,

You have written on your website that the "awareness watching awareness" description of self-inquiry by Michael Langford on his website is actually Shikantaza and not self-inquiry. It seems to me that "awareness watching awareness" is a valid description of self-inquiry or self-remembering to put it another way. Self-inquiry is being aware your sense of self or "I AM" sense in whatever false manifestation in which it appears, is it not? Being aware of being, a being who is having thoughts, yes?

The only difference I can make out is that Langford says to try to ignore the body completely, though the I am often seems to associate itself with the body in some way, usually in the heart center.

I don't want to be practicing Shikantaza thinking I'm practicing self-inquiry. If you could answer this question I would be very grateful.

Thanks,

K.

  

RESPONSE:

If you are set on practicing AWA go ahead.

I told you my opinion about AWA. It is written in this blog and on the itisnotreal website. If it appeals to you I am not going to repeat myself again and again and try to argue you out of it.  You are big enough to make your own decisions.

Look, you know what I am about. You can read the Autobiography of a Jnani, the Nisargadatta Gita, and Sadhu Om's direction of practicing self-inquiry. This is all that I am about.  If you don't want to practice this way, please don't bother writing. I feel an obligation to respond to questions, but yours are endless and keep missing the point.


From K.



I had no intention of arguing with you, I am genuinely a little confused is all. If you want me to stop e-mailing you questions all you had to do was say so politely. I admit I was a bit rude before in wasting your time a little but I wasn't purposely trying to annoy you or argue with you. You're a big boy you can hit the delete button. I have no idea how you got the impression that I wanted to go back and forth arguing with you. Discussing topics like these obscurity in meaning is bound to happen. Anyway, how hard is a polite snub? Not at all.

I never thanked you for the autobiography, the nisargadatta gita, happiness and the art of being and the path of sri ramana part 1, so I want to thank you now.