Self-Knowledge and Self-Realization

ANOTHER RARE ONE. I Am blessed to be present at the birth of another Jnani.


Sent to me:


Existence itself is now meditation, involvement in the world happens with deep witnessing that everything is happening spontaneously, resistance is gone. There has awoken in me the deepest need to relieve human suffering from pushing cars out of the snow, to talking with people about natural cures for their ailments, I cant drive past a brokedown car without stopping to help. There is no longer concern about the body, my diet has evolved to where meat sickens me, fast food sickens me, I only want fresh living foods, clean water etc. Yet all the while these things are happening there is a knowing that its a dream and I am the dreamer. 

I'm not choosing to be on a mission to do anything yet there has been a complete metamorphis of the old body mind patterns. Anger is gone, irritability, stress is gone. Yet there is a knowing none of those things ever happened to "me" It feels like there is a space behind the world that knows and watches, yet has no describable qualities, and I am that. Interest....no more like the complete obsession with reading spiritual books, listening to podcasts etc has fell away. Jesus saying we are in the world but not of it says it well. 

Yet at the same time the true "I" has never been In the world, yet without the true "I" the world is not. Awareness prevails through the everynight rollercoaster of lucid dreams, then when waking happens it is seen that "I" did not wake up, more like changing the channel on television. The world appears ethereal and light, see through if you will. Dreams are just as vivid as this world, I get hungry, use the restroom, hurt, feel joy, etc yet even in dream its realized that those things are only pictures on the screen of me. Sometimes the dreams are more like movies where I am not even a charachter in my own dreams, just the viewer. Thoughts are nearly gone, and knowledge of worldly things seems so worthless. Thoughts that do arise are not taken to be of any importance, thoughts of the past are never there, Tv, the net, news, none of these things interest me.

My drive for business has severely diminished, short term memory requires effort. Yet its not empty or nihilistic, it feels like the world is me and I am the world, yet untouched by it. Despite the nonreality being seen through, a sense of compassion and a tremendous drive to end human suffering makes life worth living. As far as the meditation, I gave up meditation after realizing it was a constant chase to get back to certain experiences. I had one where I could feel my heart stop, breath stopped, and it was like transcending this whole plane into all encompassing bliss light, and ecstacy beyond comprehension, its now seen that even that doesnt touch me. 

I have started meditating again and its different, meditation within minutes involves loss of all consciousness of this world and a feeling of surfing sceneries in consciousness, one dreamscape after the next, yet different then dreaming, more like something in the third eye. I am unclear what the void is, I don't think I have met it. At this point it feels there is nothing left to be done, should meditation continue? 

When I used to meditate more I would often experienc a feeling of sinking into my bed into total blackness and emptiness with no body or room consciousness, those experiences showed me the unreality of the world. The only thing that is missed some is when I used to meditate, sometimes a palpable bliss would radiate from every cell of my body, I was so immersed in love. Those feelings are not as strong, but the peace overrides any real desire to get back to that place. Synchronicities happen around me nonstop, babies and animals are drawn to just be close to me, yet they seem curious. The only thing of real interest to J. is meeting people where they are and if they are suffering, doing what I can to help.

I started with you, then got lost in the neo advaita podcast world, I just could not "hear the message" There was a knowing that I didnt exist, but I had not yet Identified with the real I or Source which was why love and compassion were lacking. You are God with the mask of Ed, and such a blessing, I bleed gratitude to you my friend. 

Although the peace and love is steady, the really blissful times are gone. It is seen that those are still just happening to the charachter Jeremy and not me. If you have any further advice I would be honored if you would be so kind as to share it. I realized by Rajivs posts that I was lacking the complete love, devotion, and undying devotion to trust the guru, I neglected some of your earlier advice out of ignorance, because listening to podcasts was so much easier. When I read your correspondence with Rajiv I felt so much love for you, my Sadguru appearing as Ed. I am sorry to have been unappreciative for your grace, I will not make that error again.

Also I realize this is a bit rambling, this is just how things spill out these days, no rehearsal, no thought, just an email writing itself.

Should meditation continue? If so what would you suggest?

Boundless respect and gratitude,

J.