Self-Knowledge and Self-Realization

SENT TO ME NOVEMBER 2, 2009:


Hello,


I am that which knows the coming and going of the state of being.


There was this complete fullness so to speak, complete within itself and then spontaneously the rising of the sense of being was known. This occurred during waking up from sleep. I am not able to understand this state.


I know what I am...I am non-conceptual...but now this wants to be captured in words...painful and confusing....words need to conceptulize me...I turn to you for some assistance.


I always recognized my sense of being..aware and unadorned by concepts as the space that I was...but when I now see that that too is rising and setting in what I really am...I am lost for words to understand......


On what is this knowing resting then?


thank you ....
n.


RESPONSE:


"I am that which knows the coming and going of the state of being."


Yes, this is perfect understanding.


"> There was this complete fullness so to speak, complete within itself and
> then spontaneously the rising of the sense of being was known. This occurred
> during waking up from sleep."


Yes, this is how it is usually first seen.


"I am not able to understand this state.
> I know what I am...I am non-conceptual...but now this wants to be captured
> in words...painful and confusing....words need to conceptulize me...I turn
> to you for some assistance."
>
All conceptualizations are only philosophy, empty, transitory,
illusion. You must learn how to accept knowing nothing.


"> I always recognized my sense of being..aware and unadorned by concepts as
> the space that I was...but when I now see that that too is rising and
> setting in what I really am...I am lost for words to understand......"


Don't you see? What you are is entirely beyond the mind and cannot be
captured in words or concepts. There is no need to understand; just
be.


Every answer would miss the point as all knowledge is about existence,
objects, phenomena.


What you are is before existence in this universe.


You are uncreated, unborn.


Ed


TO ME NOVEMBER 3, 2009:


yes... absolutely ...


i was just getting down to sending you a reply to the first email once again.. :)
The self or whatever it is..is so un-contrived...spontaneous and self sufficient...that is seen in ordinary moments of just simple being. No words needed to be...simply are.
When these various states or experiences occur, there is an attempt to understand it..when the experience itself is not requiring that.. :) it also just is...
and you have so correctly stated..all explanations are only about the state of existence...and therefore the correct answer in all respects is that ..you are unborn...that shuts any more concept building.


Ed..the clarity that these words you have written, also cannot be captured in words...i can only say..thank you!
n.


TO ME TODAY: JANUARY 31, 2010


Dearest Ed,


I thank you for your love that you share so very very graciously. And I know that it is none other than my heart.


Every word expressed here melts into the joy that I am.


When we had communicated earlier, you had said just be.... :) what clarity in that message. Yes, just being is all that I am. Simply love. Every rising, every expression just me. I am in awe of this wonder that dances in all. No experience is looked for, no state is harnessed. The freedom I am is inexpressible. Tears, joy, no joy.... everything subsumed in this that I am. Even fears are welcomed as magical! I need nothing.


What can I say....when every flower silently points back with love and joy.


Ed...thank you for your kindness... :)


love all ways,
n.