Self-Knowledge and Self-Realization

Rajiv's great progress: the state of waking sleep, Turiya.

RAJIV:

Master before I get engrossed in reading the dialogues I would just like to share a few things in the past few sessions of dhyaan and waking state.  

When I kept myself totally aside in today’s dhyaan I was watching the tremendous effort which consciousness was making, BUT there was no ME. I was allowing consciousness to do what it likes on its own. I then realized that I am NEVER in control of what happens in life or in the session too and that all that what happens is none of my concern. It is consciousness  ’ play and it has its own intelligence working. Now that intelligence may not be according to how I perceive my session should go or life should go. I let go of every will or desire and decided to just be. I may or may not have watched the proceedings.

I remember after my session was over that it was haphazard, all over the place to start with. It made no sense, no direction but it was the way consciousness decided. I was no party to it. I was only resting letting it do what it wants. The ways of Consciousness makes no sense, no direction, and no method. It was like chaos, total chaos. I control nothing for I am very clear on my position. I have no will. It felt stupid that I didn’t wish to do anything at all.  I was too busy resting I thought let it do what it wants. After the session was over I only remember that 2 hours had gone like in a minute, it is most NATURAL state to be without will. I recollect a few experiences like sinking taking place, the vast emptiness void, a deep silence, movement ahead into the void ahead inside, no idea when they appeared or disappeared or how long they lasted because the mind was off, drugged or you can say in a dull sleepy nothingness.

The sinking happened on its own. I got swallowed at a tremendous speed. A tremendous stillness and empty void was experienced beyond experience. It was like the body/mind/consciousness machine switched off after the chaos and turbulence.

They will seem to be an imposition on you. You will realize it makes no sense to fight an enemy, which doesn't exist. It is like a dark room can only give an illusion of ghosts but you know they don’t exist. You don't keep the lights on fearing them or start thinking how to tackle them. The thought of them leaves on its own as you go into slumber. They die their natural death. Similarly all thought and play of consciousness have an agenda, they appear and disappear just let them be. They are just pre-recorded tapes, which keep going on and off. That consciousness has a will to make an effort and involves your body and mind but you have NONE. I discovered I was BEYOND WILL and so beyond Effort.

It is consciousness, which plays around with characters and events, and none of this is my doing. I don't create situations nor am I related to it in any way. It makes no difference what consciousness would do for it is not related to me. It only seems like that. Consciousness has nothing personal too it just operates, as it desires with no fixed pattern.

Many of this makes no sense at all. To find sense of what consciousness does is to create a reality out of it and to disturb its workings. All this is just a fraud probably. And to involve us in any of this is to make unreal totally real. To use any will is to make unreal real? Consciousness on its own works and we have nothing to do with any of it.

We have nothing to create, nothing to seek, nothing to destroy, nothing to do with anything around. Consciousness works through the intelligence of the body and mind; we don't have to even watch it. We can perfectly sleep, do nothing and yet consciousness will work with our bodies.  We are dead already in a way. The bliss is no criteria, the happiness, joy, peace itself are no criteria, yet it is there in abundance without my asking. I ask nothing. I may or may not be a source of anything. I may or may not have created all this. Having seen through this play of consciousness, I only exist without any apparent will. I am only resting. All that there is, is silence, and all that I am doing is resting. Just resting Master. I AM SIMPLY RESTING ALL THE TIME.

That resting is an experience in meditation when the entire mechanism of consciousness breaks down slows down and eventually stops. Before that they operate at full speed asking you to be party to it. And when you allow them to operate with their own intelligence using no will but just being, it stops and then there is the sweet nothingness and emptiness, the marvelous state of Natural silence.

Master what freedom you have given me is beyond all descriptions and words. Everything fails to qualify what you have bestowed on me.

I bow,

Rajiv

Ed:

Yes Rajiv, now you have arrived.

RAJIV:

:-) 

This time Master I somehow knew. 

It is an ultimate sense of freedom from everything, from thought, from consciousness, from will and from effort. There is nothing to do but rest and whatever happens is simply not my concern.

Ah Master your Grace made all this possible. Ah if only others can realize that the words of the Satguru is enough, nothing else is needed. Surrender does not mean blind faith, it means forsaking everything for His words, where nothing matters except those words. 

Master I bow at your feet a million times

Rajiv

(A few days later)

RAJIV:

Master just got out of dhyaan, again nearly 2 hours gone without "knowing" how. In fact, I couldn't hear the doorbell of my milk man too. So I was surprised how I missed the bell.

There is nothing much to write in terms of "experiences" because the only feeling I was having was that I was aware the whole session. At least that is what I felt. There was nothing more to it.

But obviously I lost conciousness and went into deep sleep because I could not hear the door bells. What is strange was the feeling that I was  aware of time and every proceeding happening in dhyaan. In between I was in astral dream plane too but that was all happening on the surface and I noticed very little of them. ME as a background is ever resting.

The little that I could "experience" of that background state  was brief periods of intense joy, INTENSE  cold thrill happening to my entire beingness and beyond and so nothing much in terms of experience.

All in all nothing was actually happening for whatever that was happening was not happening to ME and so not much attention was taking place to the surface of experiences. The prominent experience I felt was that a feeling that I was always aware and that of a deeper joy and cold thrill  taking place in my  restful natural state where time too did not touch me. I remembered the experience of cold thrill too as a memory.

Edji:

This is your true state, beyond everything. You are becoming nothing! This restful state is called waking sleep, Turiya, and will only deepen and mature my dear Rajiv. You are beginning to apprehend your true resting nature.

RAJIV:

Believe me the only thing I did was never to deviate from your instructions. I believe your words have tremendous transmission powers if only one surrenders fully. Without doubt that was my only plus point. Never did a doubt rise in my mind even once. I sailed through your Grace alone Master. 

Master it is my only wish in life now to have your Darshan. 

I do not know if you can travel to India or no. There will be no greater pleasure for me than that if you ever come visit us here.

The horse (that is me) who is thirsty for your Darshan will find a way to reach the well soon if it comes to that.

You have quenched my entire thirst and I am sure this too shall be one day soon.

Your servant,

Rajiv