21 January 2012

Recently people have complained that some weeks I sound like student A, then student B, and wonder where Ed’s central thread went. They ask, “Where is the Jnana, or what happened to the lover?”

I can only say I am much moved and influenced by conversations of those who I am close to and who are burning.  Their burning catches me on fire and I write from my heart whatever comes up.  Each of my “lovers” is in a different place.  One is shedding concepts and conditioning, another is learning to love herself, another has gone entirely beyond the world into the Absolute, and yet another is lost in unending bliss, a rapture from which her body is forgotten.  Another begins to burn brightly in the Rocky Mountains, another is half a world away who always feels my presence.

When they talk to me, I am blown away.

I used to see this with Muktananda.  When someone came to him and spoke with clarity and passion, it was as if he blew in the wind, he bent and surrendered to their shakti, and this juice then became his truth of the moment.  Teacher and student were equal, and he was like clay bent and wriggled into a new form for a moment.  Then moments later someone new came, and if they came with passion, energy, he was transformed again.

Such happens to me.  People come to me and when they burn I see their truth.  I feel their truth.  One is becoming a new Krishnamurti, another is becoming Kali, another becomes Krishna, and there is room in me for each for that moment.

Then I write, and when I write, I express their truth as it unfolds and it appears my central thread is lost.  There process and truth inspire me.  There expressed truth will be of some help to someone, somewhere. 

But the truth is, I have no central thread. I have no truth.  I am there for them, not for me. I feel like I take on the clothes of whomever I talk to at the moment.  Those I talk to most, those are the clothes I wear at the time.

Of course in the center is the untouched, the origin of the manifest world.  All the rest is mind including all the writing that spill from these fingers.  And a few are always with me, inside me, sharing my emptiness, sharing our mutual purpose in the world.  Above all is Robert and Nisargadatta smiling downwards.


  1. no words...only love..thank you so much for being yourself!

  2. LOL
    I think it might have more to do with California. We know that is where all the flakes live!
    The thing is Ed you can get away with it in Cali as it's the acceptable norm.
    Having said this I will now go in my corner and say 10 Hail Mary's

    with love

  3. Yes, we are like the wind, speaking the language of whatever instrument we happen to be flowing through... it all works perfectly... with Love ~

  4. And what a gift that is! If you are able to drop yourself and express the concepts that need most to flow for that individual, then you are doing much greater a service than if you were to just give the same blanket doctrine to everyone. Thank you for being able to speak without self-interest, there are so few who can.


  5. this is very, very beautiful edji. this poetic decription of muktananda and yourself molding to the student's shakti.

    like you said if they came to muktananda with 'passion', it transformed him and if we 'burn' when we come to you, you mold to us.

    it helps me understand who the teacher is. i suppose it's true what they've said in spiritual literature for millenia, that he's a mirror.

    but that sounds too cold and distant. he seems to actually participate in the student's being. it's not just a cold reflection of myself. something is Helping me, Seeing me, Loving me.

    again, this helps me to understand you. this Beingness or Availabilty that wraps around me, blends with me, when i approach

    him open, sincere, burning with love or pain or fear or joy.


  6. Actually, I'm speechless, and that doesn't happen often.


    With Love,

  7. Hi Ed,
    Water flowing through water, as said Mooji, consciousness flowing through consciousness.
    In place of my body there is emptiness, and when someone comes close, or something, I become it.

    If I walk along the river, in Bangkok, while on the solid ground, my all inside is moving like if I was on a boat on that agitated river. My stomach wants to trow up, my body looses balance, my heart feels ecstatic.

    When I walk on a bridge my all body is sucked down like if I was falling.
    If a person comes close to me I start to talk with the same accent as that person, and I feel as if her presence/field takes over the empty space of my body.
    When I sit to meditate on the beach, my head becomes filled with the water, I feel I am sitting at the bottom of the sea. So beautiful, so dreamlike.

    Ed, what a wonder world you brought me in !
    Several days before the big realization, exactly 1 year after I started to follow you, you worked on me so much, I would see your face leaving my head several times a day, especially on waking up from nap/sleep.
    Without you nothing would have been possible !

    And without your teaching of loving every expression of consciousness I would be still lost in the emptiness, not willing to interact anymore with this stupid world.

    How lucky I met you, the most complete freedom Teatcher !
    And no need to go and catch a parasite in India ! What a saving in flight tickets :)

    BUT please, don't stop with me now, I feel I have so much way to go ahead, and it might take the next 20 years or so !

    I'd add that a way to love you is to support your help to your helpless kittens, and I think that generosity is a door to open in our heart, through where consciousness can flow in.

    What else to say, why even taking time to right this message ?
    May be for your love, for your grace Edward.
    The show must go on !
    Muzika ! Muzika ! Bhajans ! Bhajans ! Freeeedom !!

  8. Edji,Thank you for your Love. Thank you for your Presence. Thank you for your Grace. I love you.

  9. Edji,

    Lately, while watching Satsangs I feel you are speaking such truth. You express things that I know are true--you bring me to stillness and near silence through your words somehow and from there I recognize and feel the truth in what you are saying. For some time I was looking at the human part of you and trying to reconcile it, trying to figure you out on a human level. But you are not human. You are something much more divine than I had seen. I am naturally beginning to surrender to that part of you. Will you bring me to stillness? Will you end the seeking?

    I love your depths!