05 January 2012


So much has changed recently.  So many people are leaving our Sangha and so many new people are coming in. Flux!  Change! Freedom!  Each leaves with a story, and each joiner has a story why they come.  Dozens of stories, almost none of them true, even on the surface, let alone deeper.

Some make up a story and give politically correct excuses. One even wrote that I write so much, there is so much work for him, while Rajiv writes so little, so he will go with Rajiv, who has not changed and writes less, and therefore he has thus less to do. 

Others are not even aware of powerful feelings ruling them just out of reach of their consciousness, but which are so apparent to others. If you bring these hidden emotions to their faces, they leave because their ego defenses will not allow them to see these feelings, whether of anger or jealousy, or neediness.

Many leave because they feel I don’t pay them enough attention, given how much they feel they do for me. I owe them more, and they feel others get more of me, while not helping like they do.

They do not see this is God's work, the flowing of consciousness in me and in them, and everything is exactly happening the way it should.

I have changed through teaching and interpersonal relations with the Sangha.  I am no longer simply an Advaita teacher; it was too confining, too narrow a path, and not “wet” enough.

Nor am I strictly a Bhakti teacher, nor a Zen teacher, nor a Sufi teacher.  All of these can become traps rather than a way to freedom. Really, like J. Krishnamurti and Osho, I teach freedom, and that starts with freedom from the known.

The real truth is to free yourself from your mind in order to live from your heart. This can also be expressed as living from your emptiness.  In order to do this you need to be liberated from conceptualization, from the dominance of the mind’s preoccupation with knowing and controlling.

To be too deeply buried in Ramana or Nisargadatta can become a new limitation.  We need the freedom to explore many, many rooms in the mansion of spiritual experiences.  This is different from Robert’s way of teaching, as least as it appears on the surface if you just read his talks.  But in real life he was constantly cooking us by creating chaos in the sangha, creating situations where jealousy and anger arose, as much as love and acceptance. I learned well his lessons of burning and teach them explicitly, making it publicly part of the process.  Not that I deliberately create chaos, but it seems to follow wherever I go.  IT IS NOT ME!!!

But no matter what I do, how I change or not, someone, somewhere will not like it and will leave.  They will give a reason, because the mind does that rather than feel deeper emotions not felt, or an inner pushing away.

Some leave because they liked Advaita and I was now talking differently. Some thought I was too intoxicated with the personal, considering this to be my own vasana to be worked through before returning to the Truth of Advaita.

Some felt they did not understand the new book from which I was quoting, or my teachings in general; they then found a simpler teaching about consciousness where they felt their minds expand, and confused that with awakening.

Others left because they had a no-I experience, and the path they had been walking was no longer needed or wanted.

Others left because the emotions were too great, and what they “really” wanted in the now was peace from the feelings, escape.

So many stories. But if you step back, you can watch these events come and go as waves. The waves comes in then recede at the pace of the ocean, not your pace.  Seeing this is freedom.

And as Robert said, he watches to see who will stay until the end, no matter what he does or does not do.  It is not so much a matter then of awakening, but of loving and being loved by the other.  Who can do it?

I really, really love you all so much, but know I teach freedom from the known, even from Zen, from Advaita, from Sufism, from Taoism, from Christianity.  I teach no truth, and in that you can find awakening, love and peace.  Or you can find energies, excitement, and understanding.

There is something here for everyone, and also for no one at all. 


  1. Wow! This is really beautiful Ed.


  2. your freedom to adapt to any circumstance is beautiful edji.
    i can FEEL behind whatever title or role you play a deep desire to help people. why the hell else would you be a punching bag for us all for so fucking long?!!!
    thank you.
    we love you.

  3. One thing I’ve always liked about your way is that you teach by starting from a point of “function” and not so much from a point of concepts and theories. I really like that. I find nothing is more frustrating and irritating than teachings I cannot put to the test. I never really thought of your teaching as Zen or Advaita or what have you. At least that’s what I’m getting out of it.


  4. Don't change anything Loveji, enjoy yourself, nothing is worth taking seriously, it's all BS ! ahahaha
    I had so many hundreds of inside adventures since 14 months, since I started your guided meditation...
    I "practice" 3 to 6 hours everyday.
    I never practiced nor known about spiritual matters before YOU.
    You came several times in my head. I woke up several times seeing your face leaving me, as if you were working on me during my sleep.
    How could I abandon you after all that BS that happened to me after I followed you.
    You are THAT manifesting in a kind human form, to have fun, to live, to show the good example !
    I love me, you, so much !
    Thanks for all you did to/for me and for the cats.

  5. Edji you bailed me out, when I was in the shit I knew the only important thing was to contact you. I was led, guided unerringly; I fucking knew that contact alone would ground the force and intensity I was going through. I don't care about student’s praise or blame; I am interested in merging with the Master in the body. That’s the goal for me full stop.

    Since I made that contact I feel you and what you are going through, ‘cos my story is yours and you can't settle in a role any more than I can. Warriors function far better under stress than normal circumstances and you’re a Warrior with the entire history of Zen behind you. How can you be confined to a role or any fixed path?

    Look at your past, always on the line in the thick of it, protecting the Master. People may come or go; agree or disagree. People seeking the Master will keep coming and those who don’t get it will keep going, so what, you’re immoveable.

    Whatever you write I follow and it always proves right for me and my friends as it should and synchronicity of events has proved to me there is no division. What I need, you have supplied, it’s obviously from the One Source prompting confirmation through synchronicity of events, what is unfolding is amazing, so what have we got to worry about?

    I did not tune in to the site for several weeks because I was in an intensive. Our practises differ but the goal is the same. So just as it finishes, hey presto, I felt the disturbance when I went onto your site for some contemplation and was compelled to send you the email of our completed practise.

    So Edji with much love to you for grounding the Sky Dragon, these pictures are for you as I feel them. I use them in my meditations to make the link up, it works every time.

  6. Dear Edji,

    Before this your letter of self-glorification, what can I ever say? You already took up almost nothing of what I wrote you when I interrupted our personal contact.

    I know you are good, enlightened and full of love, so I will try to share my opinion with you. But I won’t answer a possible reply from your on this same subject because my fluency in English don’t allow me to say all what may be needed, nor I have the energy to face a philosophical discussion with you.

    What you call as “Freedom” is just a limited view. There is no freedom out of dharma (in the meaning of ethic principles). Aimsa, Not Hurting, Non-Violence, comes before Help Others. This, as you know, because of the way God, Who is non-action but is Love, is made. In other words, you are not enough gentle; rather you are often violent, brutal, and unkind.

    Being good is not enough. Being gentle is important too, and in the end, by pondering on it, one can see it is even more important than being good. Being gentle is the first main help to others, on my opinion.

    If you keep taking as an example the way Osho taught, you will experience the same end Osho experienced. Using swearwords like fuck, fucking, etc. as well as a coarse language is not freedom, it is hurting other people to some degree. We are still in the ambit of going against Aimsa.

    Then there is that question of your predilection for cooking. On my opinion, cooking as you describe it is just a level, and is not an highest level. It is closer to the Iron Age. Marpa hit his wife. Would you hit your wife, Edji? Love is the best cooking! People are always afflicted by confusion, pain, jealousy, anxiety, stress, etc. and all this doesn’t bring them to freedom. Instead they bring people to be close more and more. One of the aspects which take ego alive – maybe it is the most important – is that ego has the function to protect itself. It is the first and the main mechanism of defense; all the others come from it.

    Love is the King of all cooking. Love is the main, greatest dissolver! Please, mention me one only thing which can work better the Love as ego dissolver. What can push us to die, to kill ourselves more than LOVE. That LOVE is what brings us to the true imperishable Silence, to that unconditioned giving and giving ourselves. That is Enlightenment for me. All other results are abortions. An Enlightenment without the full shining of the Divine Gentleness (which includes gentle words, gentle tone, gentle language, gentle criticism, about the facts, never invalidating for their authors) and non-violence is an insult to God.

    Edji, your students are going away from you because you have often rude and violent – they may not to know this.

    So all what I can advice you is: BE GENTLE AT ANY COST!!!

    These are the principles I try to bring and defend in my life at any cost!

    As an Advaitin I have found inspiration from Shri Siddharameshwar Maharaj (Master of Self-Realization, Amrut Laya, etc.). He said: “The Path of Devotion is the Best,” and he was a Jnani.

    Please, forget me if I have offended you and was arrogant as a know-all.

    I bow down at your lotus feet. Thank you for having shown me the path so clearly as you have exposed on “It is not real”!

    With gratitude and love always,

  7. The only thing that Ramana or Nisargadatta (or Buddha or Jesus or Eckardt or or or) can give is the hint that freedom is possible.

    You have to realize it yourself :)


  8. Dear Edji,

    There is one very important thing that I have learned from you, Rajiv and Robert Adams. That is: 'to go deep, deep within'. The rest is history.

    And it's funny. When I start enquiring over 25 years ago one of the first things I read and study was the work of J. Krishnamurti. Despite that, a journey started with visiting many teachers, practicing japa meditation, participating over ten years in a spiritual society and finally read Robert Adams and came across your way. But now I found myself back where I started. And maybe my greatest blessing in understanding is that over 99% of all so called spiritual and advaita talk is BS. People quote stupid concepts and really believe they are awakened etc. I did it myself recently. I created a dream reality build op from advaita concepts. With the greatest concept of all: "THE WORLD IS NOT REAL". How foolish. I take that concept for real without really and deeply realizing it myself. But now I really start to believe and see that there is nobody, NOBODY ever who really knows the truth behind all of this creation. It´s a mystery. And everyone who said: "I know; listen to me; I tell you", everyone who say such things is a fraud, misleading himself and the student. That is where the silly guru-game starts. And for me the guru-game has to end in order to find the truth myself. I thank you so much for everything you shared and give to me but now I have to move on. Not knowing.

    I love you Ed, and consider you as a friend (free-end), nothing less and nothing more,


  9. I was wondering, Ed . . . are the people who have left your sangha now 'dead' people?

  10. I am always with you even unto the end of the world, i am with you. silently watching.
    I have watched you since the beginning of your website and still watching. Many things came. Many things went through. But I am still watching. I am with you.


  11. edji, i've been pondering this idea of people leaving since
    yesterday. like i said, it's all here. you can go as far as you
    want. i think people expect a teacher to carry them there.
    a perfect master that whos simple gaze will liberate you.
    it's again, the ramana fantasy. i see you battling that one
    as much as the neo-advaitans.

    if i look at your own case with robert, you were with him
    how many years? 8? we can all agree he was a very high
    being. were you magically enlightened after one year with him?
    2 years? it wasn't until after he left that you had your
    enlightenment experiences.

    what i'm saying is it's all up to us. as far as we want to go.
    even a perfect fantasy master doesn't give us anything.
    some of the highest saints were known to just sit and smile
    at you, waiting for you to do your part.

    i can understand people leaving spirituality altogether for a
    break. they've had enough and need to rest for a bit. that's
    natural. but to go from one teacher to another smells
    fishy... maybe that's their way of taking a break, to find
    a teacher that doesn't challenge them, that's cool.

    for me personally, i've always known that my reason for not
    growing wasn't you, it was my own laziness or fear of Reality,
    dissolving, having to let go of my identity.

    i know that when i'm ready, i can be with you, get into the
    chants, listen to the teachings, and grow tremendously
    in a very short time. it's all here. powerful chanting,
    deep non-dual teaching, humor to keep it light,
    stories from years with robert, zen masters.

    that's not enough? really? are ya sure? :)

    it's all up to us edji, you only provide the place. let's not
    pretend that you have anything to do with our own
    development. you just sit and wait...

  12. Gentleness at all cost is idealism and can put one into a mentally projected state of safety and security and give one an 'all is well with me' feeling.

    There are openings that need to take place in each of us and gentleness is not necessarily always the key.

    Many times, it has taken brutal honesty and truthful confrontation to get me to really listen and invoke change. But, behind this I have always felt the love and compassion from Ed.

    Just be yourself Ed, be yourself.

    With Love

  13. Anonymous L, I think you pretty much nailed it. All I have to go on is that unshakable feeling that freedom is possible.

    We can keep wondering if the dog or the tail comes first or accept things as they are and fully experience the simultaneous happening of everything involved without spinning it.


  14. i'm not clear where people who leave think they're going exactly.

    'goodbye! i'm going over there where after a two week honeymoon period i'll find the same old shit.

    uh-oh, THE SHIT'S IN ME, go figure!'

  15. Irresponsibility - No Single Raindrop Believes It Is To Blame For the Flood:


  16. and with all the drama too:
    'farewell, i love you all, but it's time that i listen to my own heart...i'm moving on...'

    dude, you're not going anywhere. you're only moving from one side of your prison cell to another.

  17. "you're only moving from one side of your prison cell to another."

    Maybe there is some truth in this statement, but often times one may need a slightly different view of the prison cell in order to realize that it is one.

  18. "Irresponsibility - No Single Raindrop Believes It Is To Blame For the Flood:"

    Yes and the earth would perish without the rain.

    Most seekers of truth will go through many teachers/ Edji did, Robert certainly did it's normal.
    With love

  19. Randy,

    Yes Edji and Robert did go through many teachers, but I think its more important for us to glean from their experience of doing so rather than use it as an example to follow.

    You've heard Ed speak of the difficulty that having many teachers caused him.

    Ed and Robert both speak of the importance of one teacher, one method. When I first heard Robert speak of this it struck a chord deep in my heart. And I stuck with him and him alone for 6 or 7 months. This was a huge, huge challenge for me, but I made a promise to Robert and I intended to keep it.

    I didn't listen to anyone else, read anyone else's writings or think of any one else. It was just Robert. It was during this period of single hearted devotion that I began experiencing, even in a small way, the tender movement of Love within my heart.

    Then I met Ed. I needed a living Guru. But by this time I had experienced to some degree the feeling of surrender that comes with single hearted devotion, so it was somewhat easy for me to transfer this to Ed.

    This continues to deepen on a daily basis. I'm not sure surrender is ever complete. The potentiality for it seems infinite.

    Maybe we should put more emphasis on 'WHY' Ed and Robert speak of single hearted devotion rather than making a case based on the status quo.

    The mind is so crafty with its reasonings. It seems to have an infinite number of built in constructs to keep itself spinning.

    This is just my opinion of course.


  20. Nice to hear from you Joan I am happy this is working for you.

    I had lots of teachers a good while ago. I then finally came to a place where I gave them all up and just went deep within for myself. It was the best choice I could have made.
    There were many challenges with this kind of approach. The biggest challenge was not having a outer Guru to sound off on. However as I continued I finally saw at the end of 4 years that the real Guru is the inner Guru which is me. Not the me that is thought of as the form of Randy but a very real presence that led me and finally pulled off all the veils.

    with love

  21. Randy, YOU "found" a separate inner guru--that was you--that led YOU, and pulled off what sort of veils from who or what? YOU? When the "veils" were removed, what were you?

  22. Yep that's about it.
    But sounds strange when we use language and concepts. The only true way of communication is silence but then we would have nothing on the blog. I feel you know exactly what I mean. One thing nothing is ever separate if it was it would not be a no-thing.

  23. come and go as you please...it is all good fun really, Isn't it? Everything becomes more expansive as we allow consciousness to play as it wants with an open heart.

    It really moves up the scale, mysteriously...


  24. Randy, what do you mean by your response to Ed, "Yep that's about it."

    Ed is not informing you of something which requires a confirmation from you, he is asking you about your experience.


  25. Ahhh I see Joan..

    Okay "what were you when the veils removed..Love