Self-Knowledge and Self-Realization

Freedom!

So much has changed recently.  So many people are leaving our Sangha and so many new people are coming in. Flux!  Change! Freedom!  Each leaves with a story, and each joiner has a story why they come.  Dozens of stories, almost none of them true, even on the surface, let alone deeper.

Some make up a story and give politically correct excuses. One even wrote that I write so much, there is so much work for him, while Rajiv writes so little, so he will go with Rajiv, who has not changed and writes less, and therefore he has thus less to do. 

Others are not even aware of powerful feelings ruling them just out of reach of their consciousness, but which are so apparent to others. If you bring these hidden emotions to their faces, they leave because their ego defenses will not allow them to see these feelings, whether of anger or jealousy, or neediness.

Many leave because they feel I don’t pay them enough attention, given how much they feel they do for me. I owe them more, and they feel others get more of me, while not helping like they do.


They do not see this is God's work, the flowing of consciousness in me and in them, and everything is exactly happening the way it should.

I have changed through teaching and interpersonal relations with the Sangha.  I am no longer simply an Advaita teacher; it was too confining, too narrow a path, and not “wet” enough.

Nor am I strictly a Bhakti teacher, nor a Zen teacher, nor a Sufi teacher.  All of these can become traps rather than a way to freedom. Really, like J. Krishnamurti and Osho, I teach freedom, and that starts with freedom from the known.

The real truth is to free yourself from your mind in order to live from your heart. This can also be expressed as living from your emptiness.  In order to do this you need to be liberated from conceptualization, from the dominance of the mind’s preoccupation with knowing and controlling.

To be too deeply buried in Ramana or Nisargadatta can become a new limitation.  We need the freedom to explore many, many rooms in the mansion of spiritual experiences.  This is different from Robert’s way of teaching, as least as it appears on the surface if you just read his talks.  But in real life he was constantly cooking us by creating chaos in the sangha, creating situations where jealousy and anger arose, as much as love and acceptance. I learned well his lessons of burning and teach them explicitly, making it publicly part of the process.  Not that I deliberately create chaos, but it seems to follow wherever I go.  IT IS NOT ME!!!

But no matter what I do, how I change or not, someone, somewhere will not like it and will leave.  They will give a reason, because the mind does that rather than feel deeper emotions not felt, or an inner pushing away.

Some leave because they liked Advaita and I was now talking differently. Some thought I was too intoxicated with the personal, considering this to be my own vasana to be worked through before returning to the Truth of Advaita.

Some felt they did not understand the new book from which I was quoting, or my teachings in general; they then found a simpler teaching about consciousness where they felt their minds expand, and confused that with awakening.

Others left because they had a no-I experience, and the path they had been walking was no longer needed or wanted.

Others left because the emotions were too great, and what they “really” wanted in the now was peace from the feelings, escape.

So many stories. But if you step back, you can watch these events come and go as waves. The waves comes in then recede at the pace of the ocean, not your pace.  Seeing this is freedom.

And as Robert said, he watches to see who will stay until the end, no matter what he does or does not do.  It is not so much a matter then of awakening, but of loving and being loved by the other.  Who can do it?

I really, really love you all so much, but know I teach freedom from the known, even from Zen, from Advaita, from Sufism, from Taoism, from Christianity.  I teach no truth, and in that you can find awakening, love and peace.  Or you can find energies, excitement, and understanding.

There is something here for everyone, and also for no one at all.