Self-Knowledge and Self-Realization

Hello, my name is K. 

I have been searching, studying for over 20 years now, everything from advaita, budhism sufism etc and non dual christianity.

I have been coming to your website and blog for a while and this is the first time i felt the need to speak to you. I have no outward teacher i just follow the heart wherever it leads me to Truth.

At the moment I am gradually resting more and more in and as Spirit, nothing special really, just the mind becomes silent knowing that Spirit, Reality is right here, wherever i am there is Spirit. I also know that the world seemingly out there is an image of Spirit, the mind creates the image, but it is always Spirit appearing to be a person, a tree, a bed etc and as Spirit is omnipresent I am Spirit appearing to be a human body walking around a world, 

Today, something happened that has showed me Spirit in action when the mind is totally resting, letting Truth outpicture Truth.

I woke up in the morning to the fact that i had run out of money, electric and the kids needed bread and milk for breakfast (having no job money seems to go fast) my mind started its usual thing, raving, freaking, panicking, how come i cannot even feed my kids, what are we gonna do when electricity runs out etc, I let it rumble on and on but i knew the Truth, where the mind sees lack, of money bread or whatever is not Truth, how can infinite Spirit run out of anything, I knew these are just pictures projected by the mind, there was no Truth in them and a huge smile took over my face, joy and bliss filled my entire Being, right here where the mind sees something wrong something to fix , I recognise Spirit only, I recognise My Self only, Only I am. 

There was only peace and joy.

So, there was nothing to do, why try and change the image? I went on cleaning the house resting as Spirit, 10 mn later my husband calls me, showing me a letter that had just come through the post, and inside was 37 pounds worth of vouchers earned for being a good customer to spend at our local shop. I knew there and then that the picture had changed to a good picture only because the mind got out of the way so to speak, when the mind rests Spirit which is always here, the Only is shines through and outpicture itself perfectly, but if the picture is good or bad is of no importance, only the knowing that right here where the mind sees a good picture or a bad picture is actually Spirit. So, i rest as my Self, seeing only my Self, smiling inwardly loving my Self.

As a teacher could you let me know what you think, I need someone s knowledge about this, to dissolve the remaining doubts that the mind throws. I wrote to you after watching your satsang the one of 13 May, when you spoke i knew Spirit was speaking to Spirit.

My Self was teaching Me, it was incredible i have never felt this from any other teachers, the One and Only Spirit teaching Itself, dispelling the appearance of other than Spirit. Tears were pouring and my heart was Bliss itself. Thank you 

I hope this make sense,  my first language is french difficult to translate any of this stuff in any language.

Thank You