Thank you so much for your website/blog and all you do...I contacted you in/around XXXX of 2009...you have two postings from that month and mine was the one that started off about Nisargadatta and I Am That being my bible...you commented after the post that i was 99% done and cooked...
Here's my quandry...i have seen through personal identity and feel i'm in much the same place as margot ridler...there's a lot of terror and fear going on and I just feel very, very stuck...there's emptiness, but little love/happiness/etc.
I continue to live almost like a hermit...not working now (was working with Alzheimer patients) and am now back in ohio near old family and friends and feel so far removed and it's so hard to interact with them...i listen to robert's talks and listen to kirtan...but, the body has no energy at times and i find propping up a phony identity for people so hard to do...please help...any comments you have would be greatly appreciated...i truly have become a good for nothing man and it pisses me off..my mind hardly functions and i make no plans...i just feel pretty emptied out...thanks in advance for your thoughts...be well...
Dear, dear K.
Stop reading Robert immediately. I have heard this from so many people who listen to his talks and read his transcripts and practice his way of self-inquiry. Robert is like a salve for those who feel deeply wounded. His meditations and talks are kind of lifeless, and so many have sunk into emptiness and depression after reading him too much.
This is why I advise the practice Maharaj suggests as interpreted by Pradeep in his “Nisargadatta Gita” that can be downloaded from wearesentience.com. Look within for the I Am sensation, feel love and care for it, let it expand, and things will begin to happen.
Really, I am from Cleveland. Ohio is not a healthy environment. None of those Midwest states are. The mindset is like 14th Century Europe. Relocate to a city near an ocean or mountains. Come where a lot of like minded people dwell, like LA, San Francisco, Asheville N.C., near masters and ashrams.
Then an external lover will come to you. A guru, an animal, a lover, and will set your heart on fire. Then your days of emptiness will be swept away by the fires of devotion, love and surrender.
Thank you so much for your beautiful words...they are a healing balm to my flagging spirit...i am more than aware that Ohio is a cesspool, yet a feel that way about much of America quite frankly. I've travelled extensively and lived off/on in SF for over 3 years, would often go to Ojai for K. functions...every time i exit Ohio, I immediately feel like the coffin lid has been lifted...I shall stop listening to Robert although I love him so and continue to love and care for the I Am sensation as you suggest...i really thought i could return to Ohio and stay in the I Am, but it is truly a dense, concentration camp environment here...i will make plans to leave and trust the energy to make this happen will be there...it's crazy, I'm a guy that biked across America and I can hardly go get toilet paper now...thank you again for the kick in the ass...it's what i knew, but the pull of family and friends makes Columbus have a centripedal effect somehow...i will contact the lady from cleveland, but it looks like the original thread is now gone/deleted...thank you so much for your kindness and love...
much love and gratitude to you...