13 July 2012

To me (Amended):

Dear Ed:

Thank you so much for your website/blog and all you do...I contacted you in/around XXXX of 2009...you have two postings from that month and mine was the one that started off about Nisargadatta and I Am That being my bible...you commented after the post that i was 99% done and cooked...

Here's my quandry...i have seen through personal identity and feel i'm in much the same place as margot ridler...there's a lot of terror and fear going on and I just feel very, very stuck...there's emptiness, but little love/happiness/etc. 

I continue to live almost like a hermit...not working now (was working with Alzheimer patients) and am now back in ohio near old family and friends and feel so far removed and it's so hard to interact with them...i listen to robert's talks and listen to kirtan...but, the body has no energy at times and i find propping up a phony identity for people so hard to do...please help...any comments you have would be greatly appreciated...i truly have become a good for nothing man and it pisses me off..my mind hardly functions and i make no plans...i just feel pretty emptied out...thanks in advance for your thoughts...be well...

Ed’s Response:

Dear, dear K.

Stop reading Robert immediately.  I have heard this from so many people who listen to his talks and read his transcripts and practice his way of self-inquiry.  Robert is like a salve for those who feel deeply wounded.  His meditations and talks are kind of lifeless, and so many have sunk into emptiness and depression after reading him too much. 

This is why I advise the practice Maharaj suggests as interpreted by Pradeep in his “Nisargadatta Gita” that can be downloaded from wearesentience.com. Look within for the I Am sensation, feel love and care for it, let it expand, and things will begin to happen.

Really, I am from Cleveland.  Ohio is not a healthy environment.  None of those Midwest states are.  The mindset is like 14th Century Europe.  Relocate to a city near an ocean or mountains.  Come where a lot of like minded people dwell, like LA, San Francisco, Asheville N.C., near masters and ashrams.

Then an external lover will come to you.  A guru, an animal, a lover, and will set your heart on fire.  Then your days of emptiness will be swept away by the fires of devotion, love and surrender.

Love,  Ed 

To Ed:

Dear Ed:

Thank you so much for your beautiful words...they are a healing balm to my flagging spirit...i am more than aware that Ohio is a cesspool, yet a feel that way about much of America quite frankly.  I've travelled extensively and lived off/on in SF for over 3 years, would often go to Ojai for K. functions...every time i exit Ohio, I immediately feel like the coffin lid has been lifted...I shall stop listening to Robert although I love him so and continue to love and care for the I Am sensation as you suggest...i really thought i could return to Ohio and stay in the I Am, but it is truly a dense, concentration camp environment here...i will make plans to leave and trust the energy to make this happen will be there...it's crazy, I'm a guy that biked across America and I can hardly go get toilet paper now...thank you again for the kick in the ass...it's what i knew, but the pull of family and friends makes Columbus have a centripedal effect somehow...i will contact the lady from cleveland, but it looks like the original thread is now gone/deleted...thank you so much for your kindness and love...

much love and gratitude to you...


  1. WOW - this is sage advice!

  2. dear K.

    I also stayed with a teacher who turned me away from the world, maybe even more so than Robert does, and fell into deep depression afterwards (worse than the one I started off with!), with symptoms similar to yours.

    I wouldn't have accepted any other teaching back then, I was wounded and looked for a salve, so these teachers do have their place.

    Luckily - and thanks to Ed - I wasn't stuck there forever!

    I also wrote a letter:

    Good luck finding your Beloved!

    Love, Charlie

  3. Wow !
    Maybe a perfect exemple of jnana way suited for some and bakti way for other ...
    At least , my humble understanding .
    What saved me from Robert's weapons ( thru his transcripts), was his real sens of humour , fortunatly .
    Ouch ;)

  4. And BTW :"The mindset is like 14th Century Europe."
    Hi hi , I'm from and in France ... But not expert in History .
    So , google and let's see ...mmmm... 14th century in my country . Oooops , realy realy hard , sad and desolated .
    Taste of Hell .
    Ok , I have to remember to never think about moving in Ohio .Thanx Ed ;)

    1. and who says the French have no sense of humour this is very funny it made me laugh - a lot!!

  5. Rene from France? There was a love story posted on this blog from July 2011 about David and Rene from France. Are you she?

    Link: http://itisnotreal.blogspot.com/search?q=France

    1. Hee no !
      The mystake is that in USA Rene is an usual female name . Not in France ( at least equal male/female) and i've noticed , usual name for black women in your country .
      So ( let me double check ...ok ) it's seems that I'm a guy . And I really LOVE pretty women ;)

  6. Yes Rene, Wow!
    K's story and so many others that reveal this profound unhappiness AFTER beginning this quest for the self...
    This isn't what we signed up for is it? I thought we embarked on this journey to get away from our misery. This is another mystery. We begin our search to escape our pain only to find much deeper veins of it. You're so right Ed. K needs the company of fellow travellers immediately, I hope he takes that wisdom on board.

    I've never read Robert, and I don't think I'm about to start after reading this post (HaHa), nor will I be visiting Ohio any time soon!

    I'm getting you on a subtler and deeper level Ed...

    So many us who found the way of jnana, have stories that are redolent with long periods of depression and loneliness as part of the journey. You seem to be the only teacher I've encountered who is willing to honour that and nurture the seeker's ongoing commitment, to fulfill the promise of jnana, which ultimately is an awakening of bhakta.

    And it often seems that the ones who are the closest feel like they are further away than ever. I see K's reaching out as a sign that he is nearly "done".

    You are performing an invaluable function here. This marriage of psychology, yoga and telecommunication brings this whole business of self-awakening into the 21st century. This is seriously good work you're doing...

    It's easy to get sidetracked by the daily soap opera of your local constituency and forget what is really happening here. I feel blessed to be a part of this sangha in the sky.

    Thank You, cyberguru ;o)

  7. Dear Ed,

    Surely you cannot be serious that the Midwest is poisonous, unhealthy, a cesspool(K's word), etc.? Is not the Divine as much present here as anywhere? Are there not screwed-up mindsets everywhere? Some of us out here in Kansas think LA is the world capital of materialism, superficiality, vulgarity, and crackpot spirituality. Are there really physical locations where the "veil of duality" is more easily removed? Or are such "locations" simply wherever the influence of the sadguru can be felt? Since Consciousness is non local, cannot that be anywhere? And when that veil is removed - I just read this last night -Siddharameshwar Maharaj says, "Let whatever may happen, happen, and let everything go. You may beg or sit on a throne, wherever you may be, you are happy, as you are of the nature of Bliss."

    You know a little about me. I am a seeker who has struggled with intellectuality and abanding concepts. And I had one experience with Amma 16 years ago which, out of the blue, blew my mind away and plunged me into Love and Bliss, altering my consciousness for three weeks. After I discovered your website about a year ago, I contacted you mainly to thank you for your work with cats. I have nine. We spoke once on the phone. You told me you have "a deeply enlightened friend" in Kansas. I've been following your satsangs and blog ever since.

    Now I will grant you this: living in Kansas is a challenge. I am 74 years old, living alone with woods and animals around. Not being on a water line, I'm worried about keeping my garden and trees alive in what is turning out to be a bad drouht. The political scene here is beyond awful. Religion is conventional and mostly fundamentalist Christian. I am VERY lonesome for a kindred spirit. It would be great to be part of a sangha. And I'm sure I would love to sit in the same room with that friend of yours.

    With love,

  8. Statements like this, which have not become one's own reality/Truth should not seen as an excuse to 'do nothing' about one's living situation or other issues in one's life.