09 July 2012

It's time to create your own guru.  During the past year I have heard so many ideas of what I should be like and what behaviors I should have.  Here is the list so far,  Ed, you need to:

Be more telepathic--know when I am in a spiritual crisis without me saying anything;

No swearing;

Never get angry;

Never criticize anyone; that is, be a doormat;

Don't get emotional;

Don't attack those who kill whales, eat dogs and cats, and otherwise kill animals;

Don't say anything negative about any guru or student;

Don't get personal or human--be impersonal;

Get more personal;

Be more emotional and not so aloof.

Pick better chanting music;

Get rid of chanting;

Chant more;

Don't use the word fuck;

Don't unfriend people on Facebook.

Now be honest.  In your comments below; please "fix" me!


  1. "A true spiritual master is beyond the mind and the ego. In such a master all sexual energy has been converted into pure ojas
    (vital energy), which he uses for the ultimate good of the world. A satguru is someone who has moved out of the sex center, which is the lowest center of existence, to Sat-Chit-Ananda, which is the highest
    center of existence. All desires exist in the mind. Once the mind is dissolved, there can be no question of having any desires.

    In that state no trace of desire remains. The so-called gurus who exploit
    their disciples, sexually or otherwise, or who try to force their ideas on people, are not true masters - far from it. They are still strongly identified with their minds and their desires.

    A true master will help his disciples o overcome their vasanas. His intention is to
    make them detached from the grip of the fleeting pleasures and objects of the world. The master teaches the disciple, who until now has been dependent on external objects for his happiness, to become independent, finding happiness and contentment in his own Self.

    However, to be able to lead the disciple from bondage to freedom, the master must himself be completely free from the grip of any vasanas.

    He must be free from all identification with the mind and its desires. How can he uplift his disciples if he himself is still enslaved by the mind with all its whims and fancies? A satguru lives in the world with the selfless intention of leading others out of the dark.

    Through his words and deeds, he constantly sets an example for his disciples and devotees to follow. He is a living witness to all the sacred scriptures of the world. Such a master is the embodiment of all the divine qualities, such as love, purity, self-sacrifice, patience, and forgiveness. The great masters of the past have given
    us clear instructions on the what a true master is like and what his qualities are. So there is no need to be confused or deluded."

    1. Sounds like a bunch of nonsense to me. - Shawn

  2. Edji,

    This sounds like the list I composed for you. Just add not to get turned on by female students.

    Janet B.

  3. A true guru, when asked by a student what is the real meaning of life, must speak only the truth: "Tits and ass!" Or is that just wishful thinking on my part? :)

  4. What? Amma sees the Satguru only as male?

    The reply strikes me as a very Idealized and rather archaic view of Enlightenment and Masters. The implication is that the only True Masters are those "great masters of the past" [and they are male of course.] But this is Now, and those guys are long-gone.

    So, it is very difficult to respond to all these idealized perceptions of dead masters and their teachings. That difficulty increases when ideas of "high" and "low" are introduced; ideas that are simplistic and inherently dualistic, and which also refer to a chakra-based model which is itself illusory.

    Such static descriptions [as above]seem only to scratch the surface of the ALL-INCLUSIVE nature of Divine Expression. And since these are considered the "end times" of the Kali Yuga, might a far more expansive Point of View be required? Perhaps even more extreme and exaggerated means of Teaching? In a very extreme and exaggerated World?

    While the True Reality is Unchanging, the [relative] "battlefield" is many degrees more complex than in Krishna and Arjuna's day.

    Ed understands this to a profound degree and his integrity is impeccable. His "means" are vibrant, and ALIVE, and ever-expanding. Most of all, his LOVE is undeniable! For those who are drawn to follow such a Master in these "times," those means cannot be judged against the dead Masters anymore than they can be judged against one's "personal" preferences in a create-your-own-Guru model. For True Masters of THIS age, their means may or may not "look" so pure--from an idealized model of purity and perfection--yet it IS pure in that it is EXACTLY what is needed.

    Which is also EXACTLY why it is happening as it is...

    that is, IF you accept that Edji IS a True Master.

    What do you cherish most; your own preferences or the real possibility of Waking Up in THIS lifetime?

    1. 'What do you cherish most; your own preferences or the real possibility of Waking Up in THIS lifetime ?'

      Brilliant ! :)

      Mark U.K.

  5. I totally agree with you Victoria. Amma seems very "old school." Vasanas are not defined alhough her response was within the context of asking about sex. But you see, this was a public question. Who knows what she is like herself or how effective she is. She may have a 100,000 followers, but has she turned them all into church mice, always watching their vasanas arise, or do the followers live a joyful and expanding life?

    This is the old idea so hated by both Krishnamurtis, that some day, through unending struggle, meditation and devotion, that you reach perfection. It is always a becoming perfection. Rather than a direct becoming one's self, where there really is no becoming.

    I understand one of Amma's senior students who heard that I used the word "fuck," then fled from the person who told her this news. Guilt by association. There is no freedom anywhere if you have to run from the word "fuck," there no freedom at all. These people become frightened of the slightest imperfections of the performance of rituals, ashram rules of behavior, and rigid codes of morality.

    However, living in an ashram like this can result in rapid advancements entirely because the old you is constantly challenged by all the rules.

    1. Ed, great post here. When I read Amma's post, well, I didn't actually read it all, it made my brain freeze up, but I did get that feeling of 'old time religion', of being a 'church mouse'.

  6. LOL - literally LOL! Belly laughed till my stomach muscles cramped! Freaking hilarious Edji!

    :) :) :)


  7. yeah, what amma said is bullshit (LOL). i don't know if it's THE amma or not, but it's still bullshit. it's really bizarre what she said. a kind of dead puritanical vibe. anyway, you said it in your response ed. it's about living a 'joyful and expanding life'.

    this was great ed, i wish you would talk more about the ridiculousness of things from your side of the equation.

    it's fine to be a puritan if that's what you gravitate towards naturally. but there are many, many people who walk a path of sex, love, hate, forgiveness... and they're going straight to God.

    we love you puritans. it's just not OUR way.

    here's a beautiful bhajan by ammachi:

  8. Yes, Ed, it is nearly impossible to relate. It's almost like Bible-school stories. What I noticed also, though, was the FELT transience/ and transparency of that perspective. It is already dead/dying in the face of Reality. That Reality is and always was Liberating. Anything less is yet The Great Illusion. I do not mean to offend, but as I read "Amma's" reply it was literally like hearing a whisper dying in the wind. A fading dream.

    1. Oh shit. I'm gonna have to beg the "twinkie defense" on that dreadful use of the English language.

      [Though, actually, it was a slice of homemade apple pie, with vanilla bean ice cream.]

  9. Everything is valid in the appearance, no need to do shadowboxing.

    1. You must be on the wrong blog. That sounds like something from Randall Friend.

      God save me from a "valid" appearance.

    2. Hey In-Valid, your expression is valid too! Get on the board man! Maybe you can wash Edji's feet soon. Wish you all the best. You can't help your mind being biased can you? Good Luck ♡♡♡

    3. Anyway the blog is called " It is not Real" and here we are shadowboxing in Plato's Cave. Ain't Life Grand? The irony of it all. God would fall on His Ass laughing. What's left to say about this human business, but Buddha's smile. Game over.

  10. Yes Janet, I promise not to get turned on by any of my female students unless they get orgasmic in my presence, lay their head on my chest, read me Rumi love poems, kiss me for 15 minutes, and say they want to move to LA to be closer to me. Then I might weaken a bit. Amma's male swamis are now in deep danger.

    Yes John, that is a response from "the Amma" in one of her books about perfect gurus and perfect chelas.

  11. The Perfect Ed

    words are the play,
    the play under the rock,
    on them most swims away,
    but You give me a shock

    When I see You in a vision,
    You never talk
    You only teach by action
    and that is the true walk

    Oh, people, those who forgot...
    That Heart has its own spot,
    When it sees with its own eyes
    the 'perfect' of thought instantly dies

  12. Yes Ed,

    You are the perfect Satguru. I certainly suck as a student and will never be as liberated to say fuck 100 times in 30 mins.

    I am a total failure.

    Janet B.

    1. This is a follow-up to Joan's response below [July 10, 2012 2:23:00 PM PDT]

      Dear Janet,

      It's time to move on from the drama; you really don't need it anymore. I remember reading some of your previous posts, written by such a powerful woman who seems to be stuck in being a smart-ass and consistently disrespecting her Teacher, the very One who Loves her unconditionally.

      But I DO understand. I know how heavy that "bag of Kali" can be, for those of us who carry Her within us. But the truth is, She ONLY makes trouble if you do not acknowledge Her real purpose and, instead, use Her gifts wrongly.

      So. Use Her wisely!

      While others see Her image and flinch or shudder in disgust, we laugh with glee. They think us crazy, but all we see is HER WILD FREEDOM. Her image makes us so inexplicably happy because we see ourselves, the very One we are when we are not buying into the belief that we do not have value or deserve to be loved, or even to live.

      You do not know me yet, but I write to you as a sister and friend. You need to face--in yourself--the one who broke your heart and spirit as a child. Kali has deep significance for you as She does for many women. Call Her out. Lop off the head of that fucker who abandoned you and broke your heart and spirit, and hang that rotten, stinking head on your belt. ZERO compassion necessary! Fuck HIS problems/or hers; they are NOT your concern. You are not the nice quiet girl who smiled and said all the right things. You never were, and that is beautiful!

      Take your own power back. Until you do, you will be conflicted in your Love for Ed and you will continue to punish HIM, and thus turn away from the Truest Help you will ever have in this life. Perhaps you don't feel like you deserve love as a result of your past. I understand; I have been there, and it can still pop up. But it is MY responsibility to grow beyond it, just as it is yours and everyone in this sangha. We are all the same one, all being drawn--or being dragged kicking and screaming--out of this Illusion of separate self with Ed's Help and Unconditional Love. Do not waste this precious Gift, or continue to punish Ed... because he will NEVER give up on you and he does not deserve what you are dishing out.

      No guilt is necessary, Janet. But YOU have the power to turn this around IF you will just use it/use Her/yourSelf. What you suffer most is NOT that you are being abandoned, but that it is YOU who are turning away from Love...and that makes it feel a thousand times worse...because you are betraying your own Heart.


    2. I'm not Janet, But I am helped myself by some of what you shared here. Janet and I have similar pasts so this was good for me as well.

      With Love

    3. I'm happy to hear that, Joan.


  13. Any ideal or image that I superimpose on a guru may or may not 'fit' him. The model comes from me and seems a limitation no matter what flavour it has. This has only become apparent from coming here and I love Ed all the more for it. His real face has no characteristics. It doesn't say 'fuck' ,feed cats or perform any action.

    Mark U.K.

    1. Great reply, Mark. Especially those last two sentences.


  14. Become more gay. (... as in jolly, of course!)
    Oh, and grow a long white beard, like Robert. Or even better, like Gandalf.

  15. Dear Ed,

    Please do not misrepresent things. It was you who kissed me. I was totally surrendered and saw God in you. I didn't know then that the experience of Truth is ecstatic and orgasmic. Even you were confused then and made fun of me. Only few days later you accepted that what was happening to me was of spiritual nature.

  16. No Ed, you are not the perfect teacher. Not yet. You should give more attention to your male students. Your capacity to love males is far less then you love your favorite females. I feel dissapointed, jealous and am looking for a real absolute selfrealised female teacher now. She must be able to love uncondionnaly. Non smoking and vegetarian. Age between 19 and 27. Blond hair and green eyes. Lenght 165 to 180. Weight 60 to 70 Kg. Dennis

    1. Hahaha Nice One Dennis

      Mark U.K.

    2. Now that makes sense Dennis. Me hopes you find her.

  17. I'll just fully accept the guru I have, since I have no fucking idea what a perfect one would look like. I'll leave that bullshit to Amma and dreamers.

    Those who are looking for a perfect guru are looking for a perfect them.

    Personally, I prefer acceptance, unconditional love, curse words, a great sense of humor, affect, closeness of all kind, criticism when I need it, even if I don't want it, Rum and chocolate, and let's not leave out orgasmic experiences. Wow! I just realized, that's what I have. God, am I one lucky girl!

    To prefer what I have and have what I prefer. Now that can make for a little happiness.

    I love you Ed.

  18. Victoria, I liked what you said about Amma's reply. "I do not mean to offend, but as I read "Amma's" reply it was literally like hearing a whisper dying in the wind. A fading dream."

    My thoughts were more cutting. I'll keep them to myself. Don't want to offend anyone(NOT).

    Appreciate your contributions to the threads.

    1. Thanks, Joan.

      That was exactly what I was seeing. Sometimes the old need for approval shows up at odd moments. Odd being the key word here as I generally don't seem to mind having my ass hanging out the window.

      I would have thoroughly enjoyed reading the true thoughts of a radically reformed "ex" old-time-church-mouse ;-)


  19. Janet, maybe what you really mean is, "Don't get turned on by any female student...but me."

    But what if that female student totally adores him with all his apparent faults and foibles, even delights in them. What if she writes her own poetry and sends it to him? What if she thinks he is the sun in her shine and worships the ground on which he walks? And, what if she has a great sense of humor and is really cute?

    Wow! You ask a lot of a man.

    1. You gave me my first snorting-good laugh of the day.


  20. Janet, your original comment was forme not to be turned onn by my female students. The intent was certainly to bring attention to yourself since you signed your name, and maybe a little embarrassment to me as a guru who felt love for you. So, I thought you needed a little of the oversimplification you gave me. It takes two to kiss, not one.

    Secondly, I am still awaiting your autobiography of our relationship together to hear the FULL story from your point of view, hopefully as honestly as possible. But I do stand by my right to issue a rebuttal.

    Yes Janet, that kiss ignited my heart and launched me into an entirely different sadhana, but I was disappointed you made a joke out of it.

  21. I like you the way you are! Thats you.

  22. No Janet, you don't suck as a 'student', you suck as a 'perfect student'. You will never be a perfect student, now get over it and love your own imperfections. And get over the woe is me, "I'm a total failure" routine. Yes you are a total failure, just like the rest of us. I don't care what you think of me. I'm just sick of your whining and trying to draw attention to yourself... I'm gonna stop there...that's enough for now.

  23. "fix" you?

    it's interesting but i only began to accept you in my heart recently; right when you'd written some of your most blasphemous commentary on gurus in general, and specifically Ramana.

    before that post your words provoked quite a bit of confusion (initially) and hostility (later on) because what you said seemed to deviate so radically from the Ramana-like discourse of other sages.

    Even Maharaj somehow managed to conform to the widely-accepted ideals of what a sage should be, even with his famous temper. In many respects, he was very conformist in terms of popular Hindu culture.

    Honestly I thought you were just another enlightenment guru looking for female attention.

    then one day (with the "blasphemous post" that angered some of your closer students) that all changed. I can't explain why. it was just a very small, subtle shift that seemed to open something inside.

    somehow things cleared up and i felt i understood where you were coming from.

    and i saw that you'd been provoking my defenses.

    just a small moment of clarity and things you were saying made sense. i felt the words in my heart.

    i don't know what's going to happen next. with a bit of luck the start of true devotion may sprout and i can go from a reader/meditator to a real student.

    homophobia or whatever else aside, if what I'm feeling now takes hold and really begins to grow, i'll find a way to develop a relationship with you.



  24. Wow this blog and comment site is better than any soapie i have never watched!
    "bitch" fights, guys that sound like they've got their "periods', other guys oblivious to the "cat" fights still blithely adding their "feeling the lurv" comments,women pontificating, posturing and flexing their Amazonian intellectual superiority. It is totally wild - What is this the inauguration of the first ever cyber space Roman orgy? - I am lovin it and while I agree with Tony I too am LOl till my guts hurt!!!
    I am calling for a bit of "decorum in the forum" folks. please. Frankly Ed i don't care if you want to shag the hind leg off a donkey but you do promote your PhD credentials (in psychology no less!) - so boundaries is all I am saying !! And if you have all finished with wiping the floor with Janets' vulnerabilities - apologies may be in order.
    For me and for what it is worth
    the guru "thing" depends on one thing - Trust, which is annihilated pretty quickly when your early life consists of a daily reality that lies somewhere between " The running of the bulls" and and endless "tour of duty" No where to run or to hide and No One to Trust.
    So when battled scarred, depressed and crushed physically, mentally and spiritually you come across Edji and you feel yes feel! for maybe the first time in your life - joy, bliss, laughter and tears "real tears mummy" as my little girl used to say- then the sadguru that was always there embraces you and freedom beckons. I may not be there yet but every breath and every step I have taken has led me to this teacher and I for one am not turning back.
    So I will be commenting and I will be sharing my opinions without fear or favour or "failure" because after all
    "It Is Not Real"
    kindest regards without prejudice
    Maggie C

    1. Maggie, you said, " And if you have all finished with wiping the floor with Janets' vulnerabilities - apologies may be in order."

      With all due respect you know not what you are speaking of.

      But, please continue to speak without fear or favour or 'failure'...I plan on doing the same thing...whether it's real or not.


      Oh, by the way, I enjoyed your post. I'm a softie for those who can use words in such a way to stir my heart in any way. And you did that.

    2. Yes, Maggie, things get hopping here at times. You seem to have a lot of folks figured out already. That is your perspective/and perception. Even of what you described above, there is much more gong on than what meets the eye.

      I enjoyed your vulnerability at the end. "...then the sadguru that was always there embraces you and freedom beckons. I may not be there yet but every breath and every step I have taken has led me to this teacher and I for one am not turning back."
      Love your spirit!


    3. Joan thank you
      I enjoy your posts and Victoria's et al.
      Mea culpa I don't know what I speak of. I seem to have stumbled onto the portico of the "sanctum sanctorum" caught a glimpse of a Freudian slip a juicy thigh added 2+2 and voilà- above comment!
      it felt naughty but nice. of course it is all a ruse - "look at me" - jealous needy insecure hiding behind exaggerated and vainglorious words.
      Still this site, the comments the love in all its guises got me out from under my dining table (literally!)
      Trying to force myself back into the womb- insanity self obsession yes. A bizarre attempt to avoid the suffering by diving headlong into it! A failure of the most hilarious kind.
      And yes this is public disclosure of the worst kind perhaps- a slow burning indeed...

    4. Welcome back from the land down under the table, Maggie.

      "caught a glimpse of a Freudian slip a juicy thigh"...love your imagery too...

      I really feel you in this post; you fit in here beautifully! That you appreciate love in all its guises is good, for you will find it here.


    5. Thank you Victoria (great strong woman name!) And Edji whom I love very much for providing this forum and allowing me/us to - be, feel and heal.
      Moreover,I am feeling/finding the love; astonishingly from the other side of the planet!!, from people whom I have never seen, touched, smelled or heard. Those senses on which I have relied upon addictively- gone, redundant absent.
      so what is - No How Is it I feel? - tingling, mini electrical currents, shifts of energy in and around my solar plexus ( and guts), laughter gathers in my throat and it opens. Physically I sit back, sit up and breath as if for the first time. Can these be like preliminary "orgasms" or ecstasies to which so many of you refer -( I don't know!! Probably don't need to I feel I am "where i need to be" out from "down under the table" and surely that is enough.
      Best of all - the staccato/saw- toothing mind -flat lines and there is respite, peace from the mental anguish that has plagued me my entire life. You did appeal to us to talk about feelings ED I wanted to so much after your "Freedom" Blog but I was too scared
      but I am feeling the "lurv'!! I really do get the feeling that there is so much more here Joan; and I feel so full of gratitude that you say i "fit in here beautifully" now that really is
      bhakti... I say again that the linga franca of bhakti found here in all its guises is "mind blowing" (and if anyone needs and wants their mind blowing its me...)
      Love Maggie

    6. My orgasms have body/mind variety rather than genital. But they do leave me feeling refreshed and horny ;D

  25. Humans are always interesting. Friends are good.

    Rather like the eating of food, it is pretty hard for people to benefit from the experiences of other people. A frank open discussion is sometimes helpful. (We can share recipes, I suppose. Then again, I think "cooking" is something that can only be done by the truly "enlightened, but what do I know?) If you (or me or anyone) are doing anything for yourself (or ourselves), I think it might be a waste of time. (imo) Still, it's hard not to be "human". (Not that I think you need to blog your social life here. lol )

    I am not sure I "believe in gurus", but I do know this mind, body, and speech is not "me" (or the "I"), so I just pretty much think of you and everyone and everything as "my guru". Life is more like watching a movie that I seem to be trying to figure out whether one of the actors (me) can do something positive (or not) on occasion. Mostly it's just a fairly boring ride with short periods of sheer and utter panic (that make me pray and plead for the boring bit to be back, again.)

    I always wonder if it's possible for people to be liberated without all the religious trappings and "leaps of faith". I suspect so but have few examples to work with (other than people who generally rebelled from religious communities, which is an interesting point in itself. (I am think of UG and Tony Parsons.) I don't seem to be able to relate to the religious stuff. Hard to separate the "wired" from the "tired". lol

    It's all good.

    Paul S
    Chantilly, VA

  26. Paul, much insight here.

    I noticed you live in Chantilly, VA. This is not far from me. I live in Berryville, VA.

    1. Yea, VA. We may have even met at a local Buddhist (Guhyasamaja) teaching. (or not). My wife and I attend there occasionally. Hard to find seekers in this part of the ole USA. (I didn't realize my picture was on this profile. ugh. lol)

    2. Yea, VA. We may have even met at a local Buddhist teaching (at the Guhyasamaja Center). (Or not) My wife and I sometimes go there.

      Old farts have a lot of experience to draw from. lol Take care, all.

  27. The reason I've gotten caught up in judging ed in my own mind is the whole trying to decide if he is the real thing or not. God, how I want him to be the real thing and push me fully and fearlessly into what i am, the nothingness behind. But then the doubts and judgements when he does something that seems fucking crazy! Like, how does a "guru" post images of killing hunters while seeming to condone it somehow? How does a "guru" seem to take advantage of and desire students sexually? From this story comes the next story that questions whether I can trust him or this "path?" What if he leads me to one of the bad ends that I so often hear family and friends talk about and cast jusgement on? what if I become one of the judged?

    Then back to nothingness. Behind Ed is nothingness and he really seems to have helped me notice my own. Just notice it, is all so far. I've barely even noticed it, it has had such little impact on my living.

    Then back to stories and stories and doing things and having impacts on physical things and beings through this action or that, committed because of this story or that or this need or that. I have no idea what the fuck i am doing! But for now i at least have time and desire coinciding to make me want to be still.

    Thanks everyone, for their posts and for their involvement. I know it isn't easy as all. But you guys are funny as hell and so am I!

    1. Funny as hell certainly helps! Ed IS the real deal, but he will fit in none of the boxes your mind will create. The judging box, the doubting box. The stories. Let it all come. Don't suppress any of it. Write whatever you feel. You will find a lot of mirrors here...all reflecting your own face back to you. It's a Dream. Ed IS the Love, calling you back to YourSelf. That Love is a Fire that will consume all your little boxes of me, and what you really ARE will get stronger and brighter. Do not worry...just stick around.

    2. That was really beautiful, thank you!

  28. There is really much less going on here than there appears. Janet just needs to always raise the issue of sexuality and the guru as well as the "trauma" she claims to have experienced, as opposed to the growth that has taken place. But there has never been such between me or any student. I do think the use of sexual impulses to help gain freedom is useful--the whole Tantric tradition. Janet is still married, still employed as a highly paid programmer, still raising her two boys in style. If anything, her marriage is stronger than it was two years ago.

    The thing about hunters, if it were in my power, I would ban fishing and the meat industries. But images to motivate that to become the case, as well as rants, are surely in order.

    Yes, my background is "emptiness" or the Void after having practiced meditation under a half dozen Zen masters and Robert, but more recently I have discovered the power of bhakti to awaken things more quickly by raising powerful emotional forces, as would a good psychotherapist, that shake up the entirety of one's life, rather than just rest in the void and gain an empty mind.

    Actually, I use all these things: emptiness, love, emotions, shock, attacking conventionality, to awaken people more quickly. Lots can't take the heat.

  29. I am coming from Ammas'love hugs and it sound like falling here in the mouth of the hells !!!
    Only two weeks i am there and waves orgasmics are exploding in me and now waves of burning love which are climbing in the backbone !!!
    let us wait and see !
    it is very interesting to write you . much love for every body . coquelicot