11 July 2012

Sent to me:

Ed, I see deeper into you than you think I do, much deeper.
The difference between me and Janet, is what I see, I accept and fully love rather than criticize and try to fix.
The acceptance I feel toward all that I see deeply within you, is transforming me in a way that I cannot yet understand and may never.
I did not expect such a thing to unfold within me.  It's Lila, it's all her fault.  She is fearless.  She is everything that Joan could never be.  More on this later.
I feel, deeply feel, that as I love you...all of you...that I am loving me.  This feels true and alive for me.  It is not mere words. 
You are my mirror, so I can love me by loving you.  We are One...I know this.
All your deepest needs and short comings are mine as well, and I embrace them as mine.  This is why I do not wish to change or fix anything about you.
You are totally imperfect...and it is that imperfection that I love, that endears me to you. 
I don't need to use words of excessive praise, or overt criticism...my god, I love for you, nothing more, nothing less.
This is so hard to explain and my palette of words is not sufficient.  Hopefully you can 'feel' what I am trying to convey. 
With Love and Acceptance,


1 comment:

  1. Dear Joan and Ed,

    I am not enlightened. I am a trained psychoanalyst and I know much healing comes from working through the negative transference, experiencing fully the negative affect for our love object. I was selfish and did that assuming Ed agreed to this work. I wanted that process for myself and unfortunately I acted out a lot too. This was my path. I just felt I needed to clarify while I realize I continue to seek external approval and acceptance.

    Be well,
    Janet B.