Self-Knowledge and Self-Realization

Beloved Eddie said, The amazing thing you will also learn, is this feels like you are returning to be an ordinary you, Ed Muzika, Waldo, Victoria, Lila, Janet, except for the realization that all this too is you. Everything is you and not you at the same time. You become ordinary, watching or participating in life; it becomes your “choice.” I have been feeling this very thing since the world, all lives, my life, and Adi Da, etc, were swirling all around the still center of MySelf the other day. It was all seen, all felt, all understood to be arising in ME/ as ME. No fanfare, no hoop-la. All that fancy "stuff" already happened! When we skyped the other night and I said I had realized that Da is me/ I am Da...IT IS TRUE. And it has absolutely nothing to do with mind or thoughts. It has nothing to with whether anything appears or not. IT IS ALL MySelf... everything and no one. I am the Light burning holes through the night sky...like an old movie projector, when the film would stall on the reel.  Today as well, I was mindlessly writing about it to Lila, even as you were writing the blog. I am sitting here writing to you, and I am also that sun, farting in a Galaxy 50,000 light years away. I am the clock ticking on the wall. I am skinning a cat in China. I am the cat being skinned. I am the one signing the petition to end it. It is all pouring out of Me, the heart of all Worlds and beings. And yet I do not move. I have no Form, even as I hold it ALL in my arms. My Beloved Da, and Santosha, My Beloved Ed...all the same, my own face. I can look a fool, an asshole, just myself, no shame, and no glory either. I will get up in the morning, go into the bathroom, pee, and brush my teeth...and smile a little smile...                                    *************** Just now--before seeing your post for today--I was reading The Final Truth.  And laughing. It was as clear and obvious as reading the Cleveland Heights phone book...[more on that in a moment.]  Earlier I wrote to Waldo...told him Da showed it all to me...every single piece of it...in the first three weeks I knew ofhim in 1975. I just couldn't hold it then...but even 3 weeks felt pretty damn good! All that happened just from hearing his voice on two cassette tapes and mediating on his photo. He gave it ALL to me, Ed. I lived it/as it those 20 days...felt like the "pied piper" at times... strangers on the street...at school, etc...were following me around like happy puppies...happy and laughing and having no idea why. People would stand next to me on the bus and go into bliss. Most days I wouldn't even remember to get off at my stop. Believe it or not, I was living in Cleveland Heights, just off Coventry Rd, the Haight-Ashbury of Ohio, yes? Pretty hilarious. Went by Case on my way to classes everyday...pre-med...yep, I gave up a full-ride scholarship to move to California to be with my Crazy Da. So many things...all clicking into place like a giant jig-saw puzzle...click...click...click... I knew coming to you would be the end of "me"...click I love "YOU" with all my heart...and always have...click...click Your Victoria