20 July 2018

Guru Devotee Love

So much is learned by both parties in spiritual love.  The human in us is both embraced and transcended.  All this is combined with the ,most exquisite love and bliss as well as the most haunting loneliness and desire:

X to me:  I’m too obsessive and intense, it’s hard for me to accept. I feel like I have to possess everything that I think I love and I definitely take you for my object of love, so it hurts me that I have these emotions about you because I know it’s not you it’s my view of who you are but I wasn’t able to show this aspect of me of my love before and you are the closest thing I see God in you

I’m so happy that I finally see it is really real what I believed in my whole life, that I’m like a bomb and I can’t stop searching you or your presence because I don’t want to be something else anymore.

My personality is starting to wear out from this pressure and I don’t see you as a person also but in the meantime I love you so much as a person, it’s like the biggest love I ever wanted to feel.

It’s good it’s not only this because if it was I would have been trapped again in my favorite game that is nothing will ever change and will stay forever the same and at the same time love will flow 

Ed: No, you are not too intense or obsessive.  If you are, then so am I.

We all want to possess our Beloved,  but I know she can never be captured.  It is not really us that love each other, but it is Shakti loving itself through us.  We mostly feel the human aspect and think it is about us.  Shakti shall determine who is together and who is not, not you or me.

X:  Yes, it’s true, I might be starting to see it is not about this after all.

And that so little depend on me eventually...

But when I see you, your energy, it is like I see my own heart in you, in your love and I see openness and no fear and I’m forever greatfull I know you. My energy or my concentration is so much on God that I never knew I have this feeling in me. I see you as the most sweet and precious thing I ever experienced or felt and I needed to say it.

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