Further Conversations with Students

EMAIL TO ME ABOUT SOMEONE LOST IN THE WITNESS:

It has been almost 3 years I know you. I have been following you through your website, blog, and facebook.

I have had glimpses of the I am when I first read your words. I was in bliss, ecstasy for weeks to go then. Then I left your advice and came back to the Witnessing that I had been practicing for a long time before I met you.

So, practically I am convincing myself that there is nothing that I have to go through you for spiritual advice. I thought that it is enough to witness the phenomena happening around and one day I will be illuminating with light, love and truth. But, edji it is not happening. I am feeling lifeless, empty and without any feeling. I am not in depression but I am not enjoying my life. I have no friends and really I am not interested on the people anymore. I am in a deep angst of rejection and cynicism. 

There is not a single hour for me without turning my mind inward and there I see only emptiness; no life is there throbbing. Why is this happening Edji? What do I have to do? 

I have read everything you have posted but a deep notion that they are not directed towards me always created problem to understand. So, would you please show me some light on how to move from this point? 

I really understand now that I do not know anything about anything in this world. All those witty words of kundalini, philosophy and wisdom-words have left their charm on me. They do not have any meaning to me anymore. I just want some words from you to move on. I need a living guidance now.

MY RESPONSE:

The antidote is love.  This is the entirety of my teachings.  In fact, my teachings are directly aimed at people like you who have become caught in the dryness of the witness state.

You must understand that standing in the witness has isolated you from your emotions and the vulnerability of your humanity.  This is why I use terms like Devotional Advaita, and loving introspection of all that arises in you.

But because you have receded to the witness state, nothing really arises because nothing can get into your heart, nothing can touch you deeply when you stay as witness.  Therefore, you do not FEEL the Life Force, you witness its manifestations.

If you have followed my website and blog you must realize that I dwelt in the state you describe ever since my original awakenings under Robert Adams, but in 2010 I had my third awakening to Realization of my Manifest Self, Shakti, and the Subtle Body, and my emotional-human nature after I fell in love.  That love came to me out of nowhere, I had not sought it, so I cannot prescribe it as a way back.  If it happens, it happens.

At this point the only thing you can do is open your heart and begin to experience your emotional life once again.  Emotions will give you energy, compassion, and LIFE! You need to reincarnate into your flesh.  That is why I use the phrase Incarnational Spirituality.

WHAT YOU CAN ACTUALLY DO AS OPPOSED TO WAITING FOR SOME PRINCESS OR PRINCE TO ENTER YOUR LIFE AND AWAKEN YOU, IS TO BEGIN TO NURTURE LOVE AND OPENNESS IN YOUR LIFE.

Instead of looking within into the emptiness, FEEL within, trying to feel the I Am sensation.  Start in your heart area and feel for that spark of life that ultimately leads to realization of the Self.

Frequently "scan" your body from toes, to knees, to pelvis, to gut, heart area, throatand head.  Do this slowly.  Feel the sensations in each area.  At first it will be a tingling, like electricity, which gradually, as you practice over a few weeks, grows in intensity and power.

When a feeling arises--any kind of feeling--instead of witnessing it, join it!  Allow it to expand by feeling it.  Coax into come into your heart, and later into the core of your being, your heart of hearts.  You have to get your center of Conscious to move downwards, into your heart area out of your head.

Play with these emotions, especially the negative ones, as you have lost contact with them by being a witness of them.  Let the scarey emotions be there, andlet them close in on your heart.  Invite them to come into you and if they appear too scarey to allow this, instead feel into the fear.

Get a book called Focusing by Eugene Gendlin.  This brief book explains in more detail how to get into your feelings and make them yours.  You have disidentified with your emotional being, and you need to get it back so that you can also experience your Subtle Body energies and bliss.

Very importantly, listen to sacred music, especially Hindu chants, Kittans and Bhajans.  They will help awaken your heart.  

Thus preparing the way, it is likely that someone will come intoyour life that will aid the process of awakening to the Manifest Self, the divine spark of sentience within the hearts of all sentient beings.

And, read my book, Self-Realization and Other Awakenings, found for free download at http://wearesentience.com.

This is enough for now.  It will be a long trip for you, but being in the witness for so long, means that when you do realize your Manifest Self, it will have enormous power from years of practice and remaining in the witness.