EMAIL TO ME:
For my whole life I have had this dream of being some kind of hero. Last ten years I have devoted everything to make this dream come true. I have been hunting something that could make me strong and powerful so I could be this shining person of my dreams. I ended up practicing western occultism and I became more wise than ever before.
Then this wisdom helped me to see the truth. My dream was impossible. What I wanted couldn't exist in this reality we live in. It was a child's dream that came from books and comics. It was foolish dream. Yet it was my only dream and goal. And now it's gone. The painful obsession is gone, but so is the meaning in my life.
It is strange how painful this realization was. But in a way I feel I deserve the pain, because I failed the one thing that mattered. I failed to be special and I became like everyone else.
Actually it is worse than that. I never was special and never could be. We are all many things, but still humans in the end. I wanted to be better and stronger than all the others. I wanted to shine brighter than anyone else.
Now I have realized the truth. It hurts. It so hurts.
Fundamentally we are all alike; we are all human, vulnerable, etc.
But, when you discover that basic bottom -most layer of consciousness in yourself, you find endless magic of the divine within you. You discover you are also God--that is special.
Then your life's mission is to show everyone else that they are God.
Would this bottom layer be the background of body sensations? The almost liquid stuff that surrounds and in a way fills all sensations that are related to the body? The basic stuff where kinesthetic and tactile sensations appear?
Yes, the messy part of life, energy, subtle energies, the senses and the scene.
The being human part is unbelievable. This sentience is God.
Oh, how it shines! How it so shines!
There is no fear, anxiety, stress, bitterness, sadness, hopelessness or even madness at the moment! All pain and negativity is gone! There is just joy and happiness!
This is amazing!
YES, BUT WHEN ALL THOSE THINGS RETURN, OWN THEM! ACCEPT AND LOVE THEM AND PULL THEM INTO THE SELF. EACH TIME YOU DO THIS YOU WILL FIND A DEEPER RIVER OF BLISS WITHIN.
It has been a long, uneven path for you. Even though you have found the Self, God within, the shining one, expect a continuing of the ups and downs. Everything that has been lost in you has to be renowned and brought back into the home of your heart, This takes time and patience.