Conversation with E.
Well I finished your book. Really eye-opening in multiple ways.
I also now know more that there is a significant limit to receiving help through the internet versus being in person.
Anyway, I guess the question I had is related to using love to find the self. I try to look for the I-feeling, but that just seems to reflect wherever my conscious is located, though I sometimes try to anchor it at the heart area.
This seems to be cheating the method though, since I figured it would be more naturally occurring.
So my question is should I be focused on feeling love in the heart center, and from there just letting it expand, or am I misinterpreting something? Also, if you have music you recommend while sitting to help the heart center along, I would appreciate a few recommendations.
It also seemed in the book that a lot of people gave a brief description of where they were in life so I guess I'll let you know too. I'm currently 21, a junior in college, single, panicking about leaving college and standing on my own (finance major), former stoner (as in two months ago), and would describe myself as quite sensitive (though not even my best friends would say that since I hide it, and tend to respond to insults that hurt me through sarcasm and faking that I'm fine). Also I really have wanted a good cry, but I have not had one in 4-5 years and struggle to show my full range of emotions (especially disagreement and sadness, though I can disagree with close friends or family. The sadness I mostly bottle up and "handle" on my own).
If you manage to read all this well then that's much appreciated, and feel free to respond if you get the chance.
It is more a matter of “feeling” within for the I-sense, the I-exist sense, the I Am alive sense.
A good place to start is by feeling in the heart area for the I-sensation. Sometimes it is first felt like an electric spark there or some energy movement. Just keep feeling within. Be open to what you feel there.
Also, scan you body from toes to head once a day taking about 15 minutes to do it. Get acquainted with how body feels from within.
Listen to sacred music as often as possible and by that I mean some on those listed in the chat room at http://satsangwithedji.weebly.com. The password to be used 2 different times is edjI . The chants are below the video area.
The sadness you bottle up must be allowed to be felt fully. This is a key to self-realization, for the saadness takes you much deeper into the self. Also read my blog daily for practice tips and feedback from other students on their experiences and practices at http://itisnotreal.blogspot.com.
The fear you feel is also something worthwhile to deeply investigate.
Look at my other recent posts on my blog about fining, exploring, and integrating emotions.