ANOTHER FEEDBACK ABOUT SATSANG:
The before-last satsang - when you explained thoroughly the emotional integration part - and for the first time in my life it was very clear for me 'how to do it properly', something has happened.
I usually work with anxiety, sadness, envy and such.
I was sitting at dinner table eating then suddenly a vision gripped me. Lots of people were heading somewhere and shouted 'He has returned'. And i ran to see, i saw Jesus, but it is not what i saw that was extraordinary but what i felt, i have never ever ever ever felt such humility. I felt that what i thought i felt as humility was nothing compared to this... and this strong humility was born out of love that was coming to me from vision.
suddenly THE vision just dropped and i felt love so strong i started to cry like a baby, i have never ever imagined such tremendous love was even possible it shook me so much and i felt so thankful for everything and so deeply.... this humility was an extraordinary experience. My heart now is very sensitive i don't know how to explain this, i cry almost on every turn, purely out of awe of life... I soooo THANK YOU ED!
I want to put in words but it is so hard... it feels like wanting to write million words at the same time, but they just miss it.....
This humility and love is kind of different than loving a woman, when i first fell in love it was different , this love was coming out of me, but not reversed (i felt effects of love - such as trembling throughout the body, deep longing, i remember writing that experience to you, it was strong longing love)
But now, i felt like that love, that was going out to woman (now my wife:), was reversed and was being sucked inside and poured onto my heart and it became very sensitive....
After that i feel lots of sadness pouring from deep within, i felt that sadness in background throughout my life from the childhood together with anxiety (which was intensified when Ramana came in vision and pointed to my solar plexus area, and i was gripped by it, i defended from it, i was tense because of it and mad at him for this for some time...:), but on the other hand i would never find you otherwise... )
Life is a big play where the 'Whole' is unfolding in parts... never ending... painting itself... yes, I experience it as self painting picture... revealing itself little by little...
These are the kinds of experiences that happened just before my last awakening to the Manifest Self. You are touching the deepest layer of your consciousness, and if you are lucky, the Self will show itself to you as You. Don't discount the important place that human love played for you to arrive here, just as it did for me. Romantic love, and the tenderness it brings, becomes intensified into divine love and awakening.