28 November 2014

I am not a Christian, but I know Him and can explain his message in different ways

I am not a Christian in the sense of joining a church or spending much time reading the New Testament, but I now understand Christ in a way I could not before because of my opening to the God within. He breathed life into me, and I am His vessel.

I could not feel Christ because I was steeped in traditions that denied Self in any dualistic way, or which emphasized Emptiness, the Void, the Light of Consciousness, Presence, Kundalini, etc., all more or less impersonal observations from a Witness standpoint.

My concepts kept me from realizing my Self because I did not know where to look for Self.  I had been looking for the 'I Am''s source, and thought it was found in that inner space illumined by the Third Eye, the Light of Consciousness.

But Self isnot found by "looking" within, but by feeling within. Finding the Self requires sensitivity to feelings, both the internal feeling of your body, but of your energy body, emotions, sadness, grief, joy, happiness and bliss.  Everything inside has to be brought into the heart-sense, into the I Am which centers it and makes it stronger.

This Self is none other than Christ within, a growing presence resulting from loving and surrender to all that arises within yourself while exploring feelingly within, and the language used to describe this experience is so very different from Buddhism, Vedanta, Zen, and the Taoist traditions I came from.

As my own sense of Self grew in me, I had no words to express it, for the experience is the most personal possible, that subtle and vulnerable feeling of I.  But with the passage of  time it has become the most powerful sense of Self, of Self-ownership in communion with the God who made me come alive.

I think the story of my re-incarnation into humanity and the flesh required a letting go of the language and concepts of Zen, Buddhism, and Advaita which were locked into a denial of a personal sense of separate self, and a denial of the reality of the experiential world.  For them, only the unchanging Void, or the Unchanging Witness somewhere beyond the Void, were real.

Emotions, even love, desires, activities were to be watched and not identified with, nor were they to be denied.  Only watched. One time Sasaki Roshi, a great Zen Master told me there was no love in Zen.

Now, again it is a matter of language shaping experience. Christ had to talk the way hid did with externalized similes and metaphors because his audience lacked introspective skills.  He talked in parables that you had to interpret correctly to  find the Self or Find God.

The only way they really could understand Jesus was not through his words, but by being with him, knowing him directly, feeling his presence within themselves.  So you find Christ within through feeling his presence within.

His words are mostly distraction and entertainment, keeping the crowds coming with the Law, his parables, his speaking as to his own ability to deliver salvation to those who follow him, while his Presence entered and worked miracles on his Disciples, 12 of whom became Apostles.

I obtained my first awakening through six years with Robert Adams, imbibing his spirit, not his teachings.  He told everyone those were for entertainment only.  He said that over and over.  His truth lay in a silent mind, emptiness, peace, and identity with Consciousness.  he said that was his message, which was different from many other teachers even of Advaita.

But, my awakening to the Life that Jesus speaks of was because of my love for a person which ignited my heart, and exploded my sense of presence, my energy body, and my I Am, which after being attended to for a short while revealed that Self within me which is the Life, the Truth, and the Way.

Since that explosion, everything has turned upside down.  The eastern ways are of transcendence of the flesh and experience.  Chist's way and my way are running towards and embracing our bodies, our vulnerabilities, our mortality, and therein finding the Self.

1 comment:

  1. "Imbibing his spirit, not his teachings. He told everyone those were or entertainment only. He said that over and over. His truth lay in a silent mind, emptiness, peace and identity with consciousness"

    I feel the same way with you, Ed ^^

    Sometimes my mind goes "why would he leave out the higher worlds and higher dimensions behind the veil? Why can't he speak about the higher Self? Why all his talk about suffering?.."

    But at the same time it DOESN'T really matter for me WHAT you are talking about, because my heart can connect - via your presence to such a beautiful, peaceful and delightful state - it's unbelievable!

    thank you for being there, Ed!