26 November 2014

One's Natural State is Being Self-Realized

I am not like other teachers.  For me you don't have to struggle for years with Koans, or do Kundalini-raising exercises with special Pranayama repetitions along with visualizations for a dozen years, or 30 years to attain Sahaja Samadhi.

All that you have to do is be your Self.  But to do that, you have to explore your own subjectivity to find out who you are and what you are.

I am beginning to believe that the natural state of the average sensitive and compassionate human is to be self-realized.  We are not Self-Realized because we have been talked out of it, ruled out of it, thrown out of it from a very early age by wrong and object-related thinking.

We become preoccupied with the world rather than with ourselves.  I don't mean we need a narcisistic fixation on ourselves, but we need to know who and what we are by always keeping at least one eye looking inside, with complete acceptance and love for what we find.

If we were not screwed over by the notion of giving onto Caesar taxes, loyalty, obedience, in order to feel enough security that we could act out leftover impulses such as for sex, love, a home, car, and things, we would have enough time and energy to know ourselves as we truly are, as spirit, Consciousness, the Void, Emptiness, as energetic presence, as light, bliss, joy, happiness, depression, fear, loss... And mostly, as the result of Self-Development that continues way beyond Freudian, Kleinian, and Object Relational theory, we find and become Self because the false drops aside.

In one instant, everything fits together.  We know who and what we are: body, spirit, inner energies, passion, sentience, love, joy, vulnerability, and the Self, who is God.

It happens all at once.  We become aware of Self, God, and the World all at once.  I think this would be our natural development if we did not have so many  voices shouting at us from month one of age telling us what we are, who we are, our names, what we should become, pay taxes, get a job, find a career, make money, save money, etc.

My job as a teacher is to tell you to shut up.  Shut the mind up, it is just all those voices still talking to from childhood and teenager.

Become stupid.  Don't know anything.  And with that, start looking and feeling inside.  Re-own your subjectivity anew, with completely open mind and open heart.  It is really that simple.

But if you need a technique, and you can trust me, go within and try to find your sense of existence, your sense of self.  Most people can't find it. But try to find the sensation of I-ness, of being me.  Not the I-thought, but the I-feeling.

If by the age of five you could become aware of that I-feeling, I could almost guarantee that you would be fully awakened as Self by age 16.

But most have to unlearn what you are; tear down the web of concepts that has kept you imprisoned, and learn how to feel yourself, find the I-sensation, watch it, watch your changing inner sense of energies and inner sensations of body, breath, and thought.

Soon enough you will be reborn as Self.


  1. Until I lost the I am sense of self at age 19 from unusually stressful events, I just took it to be a solid, intrinsically permanent kind of "real thing" only to realize that the loss was so unsettling when that happened. And then when it reoccurred at a retreat years later, it wasn't really a trauma but instead associated with an intense bliss at times, even a feeling of sacredness in observing the display of Tibetan Buddhist artifacts there. Fast forward to the meditative self inquiry practice these days that comes with a blissful surrender, the state of sinking into a "dumbstruckness" I relish for the short time it resides.