Edji,
Satsang felt so deep tonight, a stillness as you talked.
At
least from my experience, the energy was strong and centered in my heart and
especially strong in my belly.
The
group felt that way too, no chatting, nothing extraneous.
I
sank inward into presence rather than up into ecstasy.
Instead
of swirling dancing energy moving in fast colorful swaths, it was solid
expansive energy radiating outward from my core.
Your
teaching feels so fine honed and focused now.
I
see a few new people coming to Satsang and many
new names commenting on your posts.
You
may never have lots of students like Chetanananda
does, but you can take a few students
very, very deep into Life ... Love ... Wisdom ... Truth ... Self.
You
have a particular skill for going deep.
For communicating to your students how to do that.
Your
descriptions of the inner landscape are so uniquely
specific and nuanced.
You
take me on an inner journey of ever deepening sensitivity and awakening every
time you teach about the wealth of depths and perspectives and spaces and
energies within us.
I
feel like an astronaut of inner space.
I've
never loved spiritual practice the way I do now. I've never thirsted so deeply to find my
Self.
And
I've never felt so alive, so human, so loving.
During
the last few days my sense of I Am has become so pervasive, so rich, so still
that love seems to just be me.
I
feel like a beacon at times....a lighthouse of love...
Of
course, then I also slide into the volcano inside where I burn and cook and scream and curse.
And
I'm starting to love that too.
For
some reason, I feel like you have a Sangha waiting in Az. Satsang with live people instead of all
virtual.
I'm
starting to feel good about going back there, in a new way. I'd love to chant and dance with other
people, create a group energy that attracts others to it.
Have
a group generating love in the desert....
Let's do it.
I
just have to have this time of inner working here alone for awhile longer. I'm too dysfunctional to move right now and
too inward looking to pull out of it into packing mode.
But
I can start disposing of books and stuff no longer serving my life now. That might feel good to do as the cold and
snow is now appearing. I feel
hibernation coming on ...a good time to pair things down to basics.
There
is both rain snow and ice whipping against my
windows tonight, always happens day before Thanksgiving. Year after year the same ....
Sometimes
I wonder if its the spirits of the Native Peoples stirring up rough weather
just to make Thanksgiving a bit tougher to take for granted.
Making
us white folk work harder for our holiday.
I
played Native American singing and drumming tonight just to say I'm thinking of
The Great Spirit tonight.
My
apartment feels filled up with spirits ... they don't like ice and snow
either. Ha !
Goodnight
Edji. I love you/me.
Rock Head
(Syndria's reference to "Rock Head" refers to my teaching, and that of her previous
mentor, Seung Sahn, that you have to become completely stupid in order to find
your Self. Give up all knowledge, all
understanding, all concepts, all words, and just look and FEEL within for that
spark of sentience that can be called 'I Am', 'I-Exist', "I see/feel and
experience myself as light, energy, bliss and knowledge."
You
can all come to Online Satsangs at 2 pm California time, every Sunday. Go to http://satsangwithedji.weebly.com. Enter the room with the password edji
used on two different screens.
Then go to the "Start Broadcasting" button in order to ennable
your own microphone and video feed. ALL
ARE WELCOME!
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