10 November 2010

After I had been with Robert for four or five years, one day just before lunch as we were walking around Warner Park, he said to me, "I have been wondering why you haven't woken up yet. I think it is because you are too smart."

In other words, I thought too much. My mind was always active, reading Nisargadatta, Ramana, asking about meditation, being involved with many activities, questioning everything, writing articles, working on taking my tests to become a licensed psychologist in California.

Seunng Sahn Soen Sah had said the identical thing to me, "You think too much. You are like a golf ball spinning around the top of the hole, not dropping in."

However, when I was at Mt. Baldy practicing zazen in silence, no books, little talking, with a very structured life, my sitting was extremely powerful. I was in samadhi all the time that I sat in meditation. The body/mind disappeared, and I answered hundreds of koans with great ease, sometimes correctly answering two a day.

But in a sense, my sitting and practice was even stronger before I went to Mt. Baldy when I was practicing only self inquiry in the form of following the I. However, I was also swimming in unwanted Kundalini phenomena too. Sasaki broke me out of the self-inquiry practice (and the Kundalini dysfunction) and provided koan practice, which knocked me out of self-inquiry for years--unfortunately.

Back then there were few books on self-inquiry, Jnana Marga, or even Zen compared to now. But now there are about 20,000,000 self-proclaimed awakened "masters" who studied under Papaji or one of his disciples, and everything has become confused. Now also there are all the fantastic Nisargadatta books. Everyone has their favorite quotes from hundreds of sources that reflect their own understanding.

But few are really awakening. They think they are, but not so much. So few are willing to stop thinking and speculating about states, levels of consciousness, Bernadette's states versus Krishnamurti's states, versus Ramana's state, versus Robert's states, versus my states, and the United States. 

Void, foreground, background, inner space, outer space, illusory world of self and external world, real world of no mind, awareness versus consciousness, bare awareness, existence versus non-existence, the Ashtavakra Gita, what I said versus what Rajiv said.

Don't you see? You are all too fucking smart!

Just drop all this mind stuff and speculation as to the most advanced states, Turiya, Turiyatta, deep sleep wakefulness, the Void and foreground, and mostly, stop basing your understanding on WHAT HAS BEEN YOUR EXPERIENCES UP TO NOW! All those experiences have been conditioned by your reading, meditation and life experiences up to now and have captured you in a mental present rather than being free from it all.

How to get beyond that? Drop all speculation. Drop all comparisons of different teachers sayings. Quit positing your favorite quotes and pithy observations on Facebook where everyone congratulates everyone else about how advanced they are.

To go forward you have to leave words, theories, speculations and comparisons behind and just search inside yourself. That is it. Stop learning from books because it only screws you up.  Burn the U.G. and Jiddha Krishnamurti books. Burn Ramana. Burn Rajiv and Edji's books. Stop quoting gurus and asking others what that means. Stop trying to figure out Robert's state, and then worry about how you can duplicate it, or whether it is the same or different from Robertson's. Have you any idea how much this does not help you? Pick one path, one method, one teacher and don't compare paths, methods or teachers.  Become less knowledgeable and more humble. Know nothing.

What many are doing is not unlike speculating how much money Donald Trump has versus some Saudi Prince, and then deciding you want to make so  many billion dollars to enjoy their mindstate or lifestyle. Spirituality then becomes all about acquisition of states, and if anything, spirituality is about de-acquiring, getting rid of things, ideas, mind states.

Just be yourself. Dive deep within. Look at your own experience without judging, reasoning, understanding. Became dumb like a rock, because your mind is keeping you from going anywhere. Just watch everything without engaging your mind.

Even self inquiry should be done without the mind's constant questioning. Instead, just look within and abide there.

I really don't know how to state this more directly than I Am now. Just stop, look and listen! Your searching and comparison outside, in gurus, theories books, and dabbling in techniques shows how much you do not trust yourself and your own experiences, or your ability to penetrate to the root. Many have tried, but they give up because they have failed to penetrate, and rather than persist, they fall back on mind. 

Persistence in self-inquiry is everything.  And humility. Forget all of your acquired knowledge and ability to rationally speculate about the ultimate. The I am is slippery as Nisargadatta said; it keeps changing form. You can't pigeonhole it with concepts, let alone discoure about what lies beyond--the mystery.


  1. I can feel the ultimate universal love through your words to all of us. Thank you Edji for ripping away anything that we are standing on and turning our heads the other way.




    We come to you for the highest teaching Edji and you deliver in spades!

    Thank You! Thank You! Thank You!


  3. Other than the personal advice you e-mailed me some time back (still very, very helpful btw), that is, on many levels, one of the best things I've ever read from you Edji! Not the most poetic of words, but very direct, practical and needed - because it is true.

    love, peace & blessings,

  4. Yes as Jo-Ann said it's very clear but she most realize as well as you my Edji that if we all followed what you just posted you would have no more readers of your blog, nor your books, etc. Your blog is exactly what brings up the questions from other seekers as I feel it should be but it's also a trap for the mind.
    It keeps the mind wondering well what question would I have for Edji today or Rajiv said this did he mean this or that. You know what I mean.
    Your blog which I really enjoy reading is to some here like a person that needs tv on all day long because they cannot stand being alone. Granted it's not that extreme but because of the content it could become addicting to some.

    Having said my peace I feel your post is very correct.How many times does the mind get in the way of a seeker having alone time?

    My own suggestion if I may which works for me and others to which I shared and I do hope it's okay to shared here I certainly do not want to be looked at as a know it all truth is I do know too much as Edji wrote. Well here's what has helped me in my own progress I hope it can help you also.

    To begin make a certain time to be alone and just be. You have to be absolutely sure you do not miss a "alone session" for 21 days. It has been showed in studies it takes at least 21 day for the mind to be on auto-pilot or if you will to produce a new habit. You will find if you continue after the 21 days which I can tell you it becomes much easier but not only that you can be any place no watch is needed and when your alone time comes you will know. You may also start to go into your stillness no matter what is happening this has been my experience. From that I just try to expand the stillness a little more each day.

    So Edji I hope you don't tell me or others not to read your blog!

    with love

  5. Very precise and direct way to cook us all..
    Dear Edji,
    I wanted to tell you this.I was aware that I'd been missing something in last few months of my life.I'd been very much engaged with my studies and hardly get time to even sleep properly.Before that, everyday I used to have some time for myself, when I rarely engaged in any mental activity..I used to be alone in my room, in a very silent surroundings.I hear to some soothing manthras for sometime but after a while, even that used to be felt as not needed..I simply lied down flat and do exactly how you'd guided us in the meditation video posted recently.This was the best part of my life I should say..
    Now my situations around are such that I'm involved actively in studies and things around.This habit of thinking, planning and chattering using mind has become habitual so quickly.I want to get out of it.Hope this message in the blog and Rajiv's words will give the impetus to again get back on track.I want to be the simple unquestioning and most importantly the humble child again.. Kindly bless us all..


  6. I don't mind burning all the stupid books a never read anyhow. But please, do not ask me to let go the teachings of Sri Robert at this point. His teaching is like an anti-identification pharmacie. So I hold on to that as long as the mind is there. Besides that, I closely follow your teachings dear Edji and will practise as you and our dearest friend Rajivji suggest. For now I am in pain for I don't even now where my heart is. I am like a leaf in the wind. A child at your feet.


  7. Dear Edji
    You have hit the nail on the head. I am feeling you are saying this to me face to face. Ok, Books and quotes are long gone, becoming dumb now. Master please help me!

  8. Dearest Edji,

    Powerful. Penetrating. Poetic.

    How it IS that *i am so dumb* becomes a safe haven rather than a shameful exile. Thank you.

    I humbly witness the unfoldment.

    Gratitude galore,

  9. Dont take Edji's comments about the books litterally. Take the message from his words but leave the words behind. Buring books would be more action. His point is simple - more time inward, less time outward. Once you have the teaching, all you have is knowledge. Knowledge is useless without the practice, as all it is is concepts. Dont get so caught up in the experience of others. Gain your own experiences through sadhana and even then, dont get caught up in those. Is prattling on and/or arguing about concepts practice? Is that asking for guidance when needed? If we leave no stone unturned outwardly on this journey, we will never reach the destination. Leave no stone unturned inwardly during self investigation however and many questions will be answered along the the direct path by our own experience.

    love, peace & blessings,

  10. DJ and other fellow students please do not burn your books. If you feel the need to be literal and get rid of them, donate them, but do not burn them. They may find their way to the hands of other lost, seeking people some day. Maybe at a used library sale or even a back-ally dumpster. But don’t destroy the worldly seeds for others. Simply take Edji's message for what it is and remove your concepts. Remove your "knowledge". Many, if not all of us, would be clueless to this path had we not randomly run across a book that sparked a fire in us because we innately knew the truth when we heard it. Books may well outlast the Internet for all we know, so simply get Edji's message and do not destroy. Donation, (if you must be literal and remove them physically), is more in the spirit of Edji's "be kind to all living things". I don’t normally comment on here, but I felt a strong movement to when I read Edji’s post as I had received similar instruction from Edji back in July. I have followed that advice without question and have made more "progress" in the last 4 months than I did in the last several years of reading 2-3 books a month and hours of useless theology / philosophy discussions throughout a typical week. My experience is: direct experience is the only true knowledge and all else is useless after you learn the teaching and technique. Commenting here is a testament to my immaturity, but I have gained enough insight through direct experience to know that what Edji says on this subject is true.

    Peace, love & blessings,

  11. Edji,

    Thank you for speaking this and offering clear direction. It has taken me some time to appreciate its gift and its preciousness.

    Upon stumbling upon the "F" word, mind went shields up into turbo defense, bringing up various old stories and LOTS of fear. My VBE (very BIG ego)had an exhausting field day, kicking this post around the mental playground.

    Somehow, perhaps by grace, I've stopped running. Picked up my football, went home and just sat with these words. Rather than get my toes caught in the tangles literally, I sought to BE in these words. Let all the VBE's warnings wash and swirl about -- a sort of spontaneous sitting? Soon sensed the aroma of something "cooking." Realized no-thing was EVER known, only that something felt slightly shifted. Even VBE "simmered" down and just "stewed" for a bit.

    So right now, I can claim all I've got is: No-thing, no-one OUT THERE is wreaking havoc; it's all an inside job. Yet, I really don't know anything.

    with love and deep respect,

  12. You'r right for sure Ed , with this note .
    Sounds like : we'v got to use the mind as the only tool , to go beyond and forget it .
    Paradox ?
    You should write the ultimate book , the title could be : "Stop reading this book !"
    And , obviously , lot of us , seekers , would go on it every evening ;)
    " Ok , I must understand what this book is talking about , sure , I have to ! What a beautiful title ! So profound and clear !"
    Yes , paradox is very funny , time to time ;)

    Peace , quietness to all .

  13. Edji,

    Bowing down to the Self !


    Very very well said !

  14. O.K., the stalker is exposed as Matthew Charles Williams from Apsley Ontario, Canada. His posts are legion and they get more and more malevolent. I only posted one who signed on as anonymous, but this led to several signing his name.

  15. You will get angry with me because I am too smart, etc., but I have it! I have it!

    Even Sahaja Samadhi is an experience.

    The point is: it has nothing to do with me. I remain unknown! As you say, ‘all adjectives have fallen down. It is just a procession of experiences, and none of them has to do with me... Fantastic!!! It is even more beautiful!!!

    Then all the tradition which start with Atmananda (Krishna Menon) trough Jean Klein and his disciples Greg Goode and Francis Lucille has stop with being identified with consciousness or awareness. But who really we are is always unknown!... Sublime! and untouchable!

    Now I understand your answer about the deep sleep, ‘No mater what one experiences, the point is: it has not to do with me!!!

    Sublime!!! It is difficult to explain even to people who know samadhi.

    Yes, I will let experiences go without attachment to label or understand them. After all they all are just experiences and has nothing to do with me!

    Master, thank your help I will become a great Neapolitan Jnani!!! ;-)


  16. You got it!!!! Now stay with this realization for a while, with this you beyond. Stay in place here as that which is beyond all experience and consciousness.

  17. S,

    Congratulations! Are we witnessing the birth of another Jnani?


  18. freedom from spirituality is the great freedom that spirituality points towards .. loving the irony :-)

  19. hey I have some fishing buddies i stay with up in Woodview right outside of Apsley! I bet theyd be willing to hook up with mr. williams if he'd be willing. maybe sit down for a drink and try to iron out a peaceful resolution before things get out of hand. or i could even do it myself when i get back up there this summer. just let me know. by the way its beautiful countryside in the summer if anybodys ever planning a visit.


  20. Thank you for your response Edji,

    in gratitude - Joseph(Kozan)

  21. Thank you, Edji. Looking forward to possibly being on a live satsang one day. Peace.