Self-Knowledge and Self-Realization

The energies in my body want only one thing: to surrender to you and with you.
I deeply long to surrender to you
And to have physical closeness with you
And to have total deep surrendered sex with you.

When you spoke to me about being stepped on by God, crushed by his foot,  my body went into surrender. The energy got much stronger, deeper and white light in energy. Like being on the edge of explosion. It felt so sexual and at the same time like devotion, giving up everything and total ecstasy.
When you spoke to me,....oh Ed, I just want to have sex with you, so deeply.

The longing desire is explosive.
I am bursting, yearning, and this gets stronger by writing you.
The longing intensity goes beyond being horny. It's my whole being shivering, screaming for you.
I want you
I want you totally
I want you to eat me totally
I want to fuck endlessly
Be one with you
It's torture, so intense
I want you
I want you
Fuck me Ed, so that we are one.

This is how my energies feel

And there is still a serious problem with trust and fear at the same time.
But this seems to be washed away by the strong desire.

I so deeply, extremely, intensely, desperately want you.