I feel the Self, My Self, exploding within me. I, little Ed, watches the atomic explosion of Self and feels awe, humility, gratitude that the Self I feel as separate is also me.
The Self I see and feel is so grand, so powerful, so pure, so energetic that it is far beyond me; yet it is also me paradoxically. It is just that seeing/feeling this explosion of life within me is so new and overpowering.
I am that too: beyond anything human, but also the same as the Life within a worm, cricket or bird. We all love life, worship and protect life.
Yet sometimes a will to die arises within the deeper that I plumb this magnificent Self. I feel like I am drowning in grief, sadness, depression that takes me deep inside to my lowest existential depths.
But if I just relax there, reside there in loving acceptance of the place I have been brought, I, the small I, own the negativity and it is added to me. The repressed is consciously brought into me and I am made whole, and feel the bliss, the ecstasy of Self. And I see that that Self is the ground state from which my individuality emerges. The Self and little I are one.
The Self is my life, my salvation, my joy, and it and I are One!
I shout my joy; there is Only Self. How can anyone deny Self?
Self is everything in the sense I cannot take my eyes, my attention, my awareness off of it. It will not allow me to look away from Her. Every moment I exalt in Her power and joy.
So strange. I did a search on Google and Bing using the phrase "The Experience of Self." There was only one result returned to me, that was my own FG and Blog posts on the experience of Self.
All the others were links to talks about no-self, No Self, no separate Self.
I cannot be the only writer on earth that sees and feels only the Self, that the Self is the only reality worth knowing, seeking, loving, worshiping.Self.
Perhaps others use different words for the same or similar experience: All is Shakti; All is Brahman; all is God.
This experience can only be described as finding that which is bigger than your own self, filled with divine cleansing energy, grace, white light, love, enormous energy, humility and gratitude, but also the discovery that that Other, that Extraordinary Life Force, that energy, is also I. I am God; I am Atman; I am Shakti; I am bliss and well as the sure knowledge of Self.