10 March 2014

Email from a student who actually wants to stay with me for a bit

Dear Ed,

I think letting emotions run freely and also expressing negative emotions within certain boundaries is one of the most beneficial aspects of your teaching.

I’ve seen a lot of havoc created because of people (both in spiritual and not so spiritual circles) trying to repress or hide their emotions.

My father is a choleric which was quite difficult to deal with especially when I was smaller, and with Buddhism, I got even deeper into trying to avoid such behavior myself (which is impossible). Now I feel that by viewing certain emotions as “poison” like the Buddhist scriptures say I was heading down a path I really wouldn’t want to finish.

I find it very healing to not stifle any emotions but truly being able to experience them as much as possible, not with vipassana-style distance but heartfelt and from within the emotions. They are like delicious spices added to the I Am-soup.

However I also have to say it can be quite scary and difficult… Sometimes I’m really scared of my own potential for violence.

Some people really don’t like me because I sometimes get angry very easily or show emotions they’d rather not have me show them.

I can understand Charlie because I’m also a bit afraid of what the Dragon full of surprises might do…

But I bet being close to the fire is a marvelous experience after all, no matter what (or exactly because of what?) the Dragon might cough up!

You are truly one in a million-billion-trillion, Ed :)

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