Self-Knowledge and Self-Realization

This person is sitting in the gateway to the absolute, 

and, in fact, sees their identity!--Expanded

Oh Master, the "I Am" is undressing Itself and the show is quite revealing.

Thank you so much for the opportunity to sit with You during Satsang.

Doing as you said, not interpreting, not analyzing, not judging what is going on in Consciousness by feelings, moods, or any condition.  Keeping quiet and melting.

Hugs and Kisses to You my Beloved.

M.

It was fantastic meeting you too!

Keep me informed.

Tell me a little why you were so despairing a few months ago.

Attached is a large book. Don't bother with all the introductions, etc.

Rama Krishna was a master of the Bhakti way, which is your way.

Love,

Edji

My Dearest Edji,

Thank you so much for the book. Very appreciated.

I'm not sure about that sudden attack of despair.  This whole existence has been one plagued with depressions.  Once I got really serious about this path the intensity and frequency of these attacks seemed to lessen, though were still always in the back ground like the black dog that might attack at any time.  

That surfacing and your response were a real turning point. I see this whole life as a twisted costume for the Consciousness to hide itself in. What wicked games it can play.  

Several mornings ago the masks were revealed and they were not Me.  There is a knowing that nothing has ever happened to Me. A knowing that this game is not Me, and yet it is Me as Consciousness.  It was when it was believed to be 'me', the individual, that is was unbearable.  I have never felt like I belonged, never quite fit in, and for the most part have hated existing.  I see so clearly now that it was the phantom I, the personal I that hated existing.  What a hoax and one that seemed to be an airtight case for 45 years. Well, the air is seeping in in a huge way, it is fresh, it is free, it is joyful, it is peaceful, it is contentment,...this air is ME.  OMG...there is such uncaused joy...joy for no reason at all...joy, the perfume 'Being'. 

There is a very gentle unfolding; recognizing things here and there as utterly Divine. Yesterday there were several times when the body was noticed but no one was in it.  Days when the mind is locked tight on the 'I Am', days when the gratitude evokes enough tears to soak a bath towel....wondering what did I do to deserve this 'Grace'.  Then it dawns on me that this is what Grace does...moves as Grace.   Just watching and melting as you said.

I am so grateful that you are there/here; without/within.

Love you much,

M.

Dear Master,

It is late here.  Have just finished reading a huge portion of the Gospel of Sri Ramakrishna that you sent to me, have cried a bucket of tears about which Sri Ramakrishna said, "God favours those who can weep for Him. Tears shed for God wash away the sins of former births."

I just wanted to thank you again for such a precious gift.  The longing for the Beloved is joyfully painful at times, but it seems that I am enjoying even this from a space untouched by it, but yet delights in the experience.  There does not seem to be any clear lines of demarcation between the two.

With Deep Love,

M.

RESPONSE:

Between the two what? Longing or the space? Where are you in all this?

Is you beloved personal or impersonal--just curious.

Ed

The two, or even clearer, the three.  There doesn't seem to be any clear cut lines between Pure Awareness/Absolute/The Ultimate Supreme Witness - the I AM, which seems more like a manifest witness and the Maya itself.  They all  seem to be interpermeated with the Pure Witness.  There is awareness of a watcher which watches even the I AM and it's play, yet it doesn't seem to be separate from it. Does this make any sense?

As far as the Beloved, it is impersonal, a sense of 'knowingness' that has somehow seemed to be forgotten but never really was.

Thanks for conversing.

Love,

M.

RESPONSE:

Perfection!  This is a place to stay for a while.

Love, 

Edji