16 November 2009

I've been wanting to email you for some time now, and after reading your post from a few days about teaching, was finally moved to do so.

About two years ago I stumbled upon J. Krishnamurti. I wasn't a seeker in the normal sense and had no clue about the "seeker culture" and the pursuit of enlightenment...still something in his words spoke to me deeply. Eight months or so later, I watched a dialog with K and David Bohm...at one point Krishnamurti exclaimed, as I had read many many times..."Sir, the thinker IS the thought!" Nothing in my life can compare to what happened at that moment...though I didn't understand all the implications...at that moment I knew I didn't exist as I had always thought. Strangely, about one month later I met my flute (shakuhachi) teacher...one of the first things she said to me was "you are not who you think you are"! I couldn't believe it. Seemingly out of nowhere (a whim to learn the flute) I met someone immersed in Zen for 30 years and with what only can be described as a devotional love of Nisargadatta and Ramana.

This last year has been spent reading "I am That". It is without a doubt the most profound thing I've ever read. Last Spring there were three nights where there was unbroken awareness through sleep...experiences which I've had in years past but never to this degree and never with the understanding of what was taking place...a confirmation that I am not even this consciousness. Recently a rephrasing of the "Who am I?" inquiry popped in my head...suddenly I asked myself "How do I know I am?" This seems to be a profound question, one that takes me straight to the feeling "I am",  and one that I can't yet really answer...is this a correct question to meditate on?

I've never had any spiritual practices and have never done any "formal" meditation...my flute teacher is adamant about catching thoughts...looking for a 'core' negative thought...which I have seen...I don't feel ruled at all by any thought. I'm just watching...from morning till night...I don't feel like "I" am doing anything, yet there still feels like something that should be done...any advice or encouragement would be greatly appreciated. 

I feel very drawn to Robert, Ramana, and Nisargadatta, anoughts.d have no doubts about their teachings...just not sure how to proceed. 

Thank you so much for your time.


To N

Thoughts are not important. I think you have already seen all the way through thoughts. Better to concentrate on on your sense of being alive, of existing. Since you are attracted to Nisargadatta, I will send you a very practical guide to self-inquiry by Pradeep Apte called the Nisargadatta Gita. You can also find it on the Internet.

Download it, print it out and out it in a 3 ring binder. Read it every morning for a few weeks. Ponder its meaning, and watch your sense of beingness.  Then write to e about your experience.

By the way, the core thought is "I," and t is neither positive or negative. It is a conceptual pointer towards something that does not exist. When you see the I thought has no meaning, you will become ne with consciiousness. At least that is how it happened to me and many, any others who have written to me.

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