30 December 2014


Here I am at Starbucks in Peoria Arizona about 1.5 miles from our new home on the golf course. Yesterday was unpacking the van and the truck. Night before last, Mike, Max, and I all slept on the floor. The carpet provided wonderful support for my back. Max brought his own bed from Austria. Seven kitties shared one tile-floored room. All three of us spent a lot of time in the patio looking out over the green fairiways, watching the quail and rabbits. But my body had not even started to relax.
Last night I went over to my moms house 6 miles away and spent the night with Kerima and my mom. Had 2 stiff brandies and I began to relax. The day before I had driven 7 cats in two large cages and a carrier 406 miles in6.5 hours and I was very stressed. Hardly stopped at all except to pee and get gas. I wanted the kitties to be on the road as short a time as possible.
I tried showing some of the kitties the patio but most were too scared at the change. Most still huddled in the corner of the room that will be my office.
Today the tension is leaving my body. Kerima finally got back to work today after a 7 day bout of some illness likely due to the stress of a new job and the move. She is director of activities at a retirement home with 600 residents.
It makes me feel validated somewhat that despite my years of meditation, practice, etc., that I was still able to feel so overwhelmed and stressed. I remember when I drove Robert Adams, Nicole, and his dog Dimitri to my mom's house in Peoria how stressed he got.
For the first time since I knew him, he was impatient and a little bit short-tempered. He insisted that we get Dimitri 3 cans of Mighty Dog dog food, otherwise he would refuse to leave for Phoenix. He paced around his condo and looked stressed.
I had rented a large car that allowed Robert to rest in a semi-reclined position to accomodate his Parkinson's stiffened body. After about an hour he seemed to relax. Somewhere around Pomdale or after he said, "This is where the earthquake will occur." Robert had been predicting a large earthquake for some time, probably as an incentive to get students to move to Sedona to be with him.
Maybe now that I am out of Los Angeles, it really will happen.
In any event, I am now in Arizona 19 years after I should have moved with Robert in 1995.
It is supposed to rain tomorrow, New Years Eve with an 80% chance of rain, and with possible snow on New Years Day.


  1. Beautiful, beautiful. Stiff brandies, kitties in corners, Max on his bed he brought from Austria, Kerima on the job after 1 week; Robert pacing in his condo, 3 cans of Mighty Dog dog food, earthquakes imminent, moving to Arizona 20 years after the due date. BEST OF LUCK TO YOU ALL... the quail, the rabbits, the cats, Michael, Max, Edji, Kerima, Edji's mom and Arizona. Love, Matthew

  2. Funny that you have to compare your stress with Robert's stress. Since he was stressed it's fine to be stressed for you too - being "self-realized" and all. And yet Robert was truly untouched by the move while your ego, the fake guru you are, is bitching about the inconvenience.....

    Instead of bitching about your "stress" why don't you use your own brand of "teaching" and embrace it as one is supposed to embrace every emotion which comes to you. Too bad that your BS is not really working since you are attached to your body, oh great Master. LOL

    Now keep bitching at all these other teachers who essentially (according to you) are all wrong - the only one who gets it is you, the great Tantric-Advaita Master who even shits on Ramana Maharshi's teachings.

    And you are complaining about your small "sangha" and lack of donations? Get a grip man and ask Robert for forgiveness for your arrogant delusions.

    1. Uhhhh, "anonymous"............

      Since when has Ed or for that matter any "guru"(Tantric, Advaita, or otherwise)ever claimed that his practice of self-inquiry would result in a perfect, unadulterated, completely stress free life 24/7? I In an article he even wrote on this site some years ago, he even mentioned that one cannot rely on the meditative practice alone, it's not the suitable Rx for every ill that besets mankind you know.....there's a viable role for medication or even therapy for this. You've just come here with a hate filled "straw man" agenda and best let it go since it speaks volumes about where you're at.


  3. Hi Ed,

    Enjoy Arizona in this new year and may your kitties adjust well! Thanks for the Robert moving story. My wife and I are planning a donation to the kitty non profit today. Happy New Year. Thanks for making the Robert teachings accessible.

  4. Glad to hear you guys are doing well so far. About time you traded that shitty street view for some green grass and fresh air! All the best to you and Kerima.