Mr. Muzika,
First I would like to apologize. You surely don't remember, but we had a brief email conversation a couple of months ago. Back then I did not fully understand what you were saying and also had some personal emotional problems which I obviously had to solve. I hope you don't feel angry because I went away just like that.
Anyway, I have a question which I cannot resolve by myself. In last half a year I went through a process of observing "whatever is going on". No philosophy, no method, no reading books, nothing. I just observed and somehow tried to separate truth from not truth. Tried to find out what is real and what is not.
What I discovered is that everything, and I really mean EVERYTHING, is not-truth. I see all experience, being mental or physical, has no actual meaning. It means nothing beside being what it is. Beside it's temporal appearance nothing actually exists. The problem that I have is that now I'm completely lost. I simply know that all my thoughts, everything I'm thinking and believing, everything I "know", is simply not true. I don't know anything. And even this knowing (that I don't know anything) is false in essence. It's just temporal belief, which fades when I forget it.
Plain and simple, I'm totally lost, not certain of anything. I live my days in a constant cycle of observing how different thoughts try to make their way through and then dropping off in realization that they don't mean antyhing real. And then I think something like: "I must put an end to this mess". And then this thought drops off. I simply cannot get a hold of anything. And it's all accompanied by cyclic feelings of tension and then release. It's like everytime I grab something I feel like I got it and then it dissolves and I experience a confussion again. And then again.
I JUST DON'T HAVE ANY IDEA ON EARTH WHAT TO DO!
And even this not knowing what to do is already dissolving.
Do you maybe have any word for me at all? I know it won't do anything for me, that's it nothing really, but... Anything??
Thank you,
First I would like to apologize. You surely don't remember, but we had a brief email conversation a couple of months ago. Back then I did not fully understand what you were saying and also had some personal emotional problems which I obviously had to solve. I hope you don't feel angry because I went away just like that.
Anyway, I have a question which I cannot resolve by myself. In last half a year I went through a process of observing "whatever is going on". No philosophy, no method, no reading books, nothing. I just observed and somehow tried to separate truth from not truth. Tried to find out what is real and what is not.
What I discovered is that everything, and I really mean EVERYTHING, is not-truth. I see all experience, being mental or physical, has no actual meaning. It means nothing beside being what it is. Beside it's temporal appearance nothing actually exists. The problem that I have is that now I'm completely lost. I simply know that all my thoughts, everything I'm thinking and believing, everything I "know", is simply not true. I don't know anything. And even this knowing (that I don't know anything) is false in essence. It's just temporal belief, which fades when I forget it.
Plain and simple, I'm totally lost, not certain of anything. I live my days in a constant cycle of observing how different thoughts try to make their way through and then dropping off in realization that they don't mean antyhing real. And then I think something like: "I must put an end to this mess". And then this thought drops off. I simply cannot get a hold of anything. And it's all accompanied by cyclic feelings of tension and then release. It's like everytime I grab something I feel like I got it and then it dissolves and I experience a confussion again. And then again.
I JUST DON'T HAVE ANY IDEA ON EARTH WHAT TO DO!
And even this not knowing what to do is already dissolving.
Do you maybe have any word for me at all? I know it won't do anything for me, that's it nothing really, but... Anything??
Thank you,
A,
Ed's Response;
That is
perfect! You know nothing. All truth has no reality, and even that
truth is unreal. Words, concepts
are an entirely different dimension from what is. Words talk about what is, but words really do
not capture experience. In other words,
you have now gone deeper than the mind and you are lost in phenomena. This is perfect. Now you can learn to function using senses deeper
than mind, such as operating from the heart.
You have attained the realization of emptiness.
Now, next step, look for the sense of I Am, the sense that you exist. That is both the I that is the subject, but also the I sense that is the phenomenal sense of Self. Some teachers call the realization of emptiness, the Void, as realization of the Unborn Self, pure awareness that permeates all objects.
But you have to change how you search now. Instead of observing the I Am, discover it by feeling it. Go from observing to feeling inside your heart. At first feel the physical, like the movement of the diaphram when breathing. Then feel your heart. Then feel emotions. Then feel the Self. You do it by feeling whatever arises, then loving whatever arises. This gradually adds to your complete sense of Self.
Listen to sacred music feel the music inside of you generating bliss.
The key is to stop observing and start feeling inside. Soon you will be filled with a sense of presence, like and energy body that fills all the emptiness and your physical body. Within that Energy body (Subtle Body) you will find your Self, existence, knowledge, bliss.
Ed
You have attained the realization of emptiness.
Now, next step, look for the sense of I Am, the sense that you exist. That is both the I that is the subject, but also the I sense that is the phenomenal sense of Self. Some teachers call the realization of emptiness, the Void, as realization of the Unborn Self, pure awareness that permeates all objects.
But you have to change how you search now. Instead of observing the I Am, discover it by feeling it. Go from observing to feeling inside your heart. At first feel the physical, like the movement of the diaphram when breathing. Then feel your heart. Then feel emotions. Then feel the Self. You do it by feeling whatever arises, then loving whatever arises. This gradually adds to your complete sense of Self.
Listen to sacred music feel the music inside of you generating bliss.
The key is to stop observing and start feeling inside. Soon you will be filled with a sense of presence, like and energy body that fills all the emptiness and your physical body. Within that Energy body (Subtle Body) you will find your Self, existence, knowledge, bliss.
Ed
Yeah Edji! BEAUTIFUL!!!
ReplyDelete