Carly Wakes Up and Comes Alive

Carly and I spent a day together a year ago. We had a great time at Coffee Bean and elsewhere.  What a change during the last year of constant practice.

I'm so happy I'm giddy. What an amazing thing life is! You ready for this?....I love myself I saw there is only myself I am you as well! Oh I love it Edji I love it all! When I trickled down back into my body the bliss was so strong I cried from a place that was from the beginning of time, from the soul, tears of complete joy, sorrow, love, forgiveness...there is only the now. THAT BEAUTIFUL SORCE  of all things wants to create I was in the nothing, it was non physical.

I have no eyes to see, no ears to hear it was nothing but a presence with unbelievable intelligence. Questions I had answered. I experienced the no duality only one I can't believe how amazing the workings of this creation this lovely source energy loves to create.

Carly

Oh Edji I'm in love with nothing  on the end of it just love. I want to be that way always but this body has such deep seeded habits and I saw thoughts geometric shapes vibrations. I love u Edji; I love me; I love all♡; I pray my body won't allow me to forget.

I'm happy I don't exist but in the mind of this super intelligence-- how amazing that it thought of me. I'm lucky to be a part of this magnificent mental construct, and that I am human so I am able to feel and interpret  feelings and make the non physical physical, and blessed to be a co creator in all of it.) I see how the mind can be our biggest enemy and my reactions to it my reality.

Carly

Syndria Strikes Again, Liking Our Advaita/Tantric Approach

Hi glad to hear about your changes in muscle pain. Our relationship to our own emotions is so much deeper than psychology takes us.    

Amazing changes are going on.    And just by being in and surrendering to pleasure and pain.    I still have the vibrating sense of bliss stream going on subtlely under everything.

And Charley was a remarkable teacher by example.

The interpenetrating of emotions, energies and IAM Is revealing itself to be immense.      I just get more and more curious and longing to spend all my time In IAM.    

The Kali  chanting I'm doing causes a swirl of realities dancing,   Kali is with me,  then in me, then I am in her,  we are together then separate then Kali/I are the same.     A true dance.   

In awe.    That's where I am.    All day and night long. 

You and Shakti have knocked me upside down and inside out  a hundred times in 10 months.

My middle is churning with energy.  After being a black void for years.    

I have passed by a doubt marker this week.    My encountering my Self in the Divine Mother's various guises,  I  feel  at home, in home.  Where I belong.

For 2 hours  I was Kali.  IAM Kali.   I was so at home.     I felt that need to bow down at her feet/ my feet.     Words don't cut it..   I have to surrender my food anxieties and confusions up to her.    And find strength through her instead of fat in terms of feeling safe.

And I talked more with Faisal.    We 're so alike energetically,  at least in some ways..    Kind of crazy.

As I listen to your changes, it feels like your way of helping yourself and others through your energy body Is revealing itself to you through your lung, your sickness, Charley's illness.  fired.

Your getting another degree, this time in Divinity.

I have no idea what is coming next and I feel freed by that.   No need to imagine, stress think, plan.    Mother is already doing it.

CHARLEY'S DEATH AND A CURE FOR FIBROMYALGIA-LIKE NEUROLOGICAL DISORDERS

CHARLEY’S DEATH IS CHANGING ME

During the last 25 years, Kerima and I have had 14 cats die on us.  Some were rescued when they were already quite old, many we got as kittens.  Not all the deaths were hard on us, but a few were very hard.

The hardest are when your favorite cats die young.  Gopi, my most favorite cat of all time died after surgery to remove a large cancerous mass in her intestines.  Her diagnosis and death came within a week of each other. I shut down a lot in every way after her death nine years ago for about six months.

But each death now is both easier and harder.  Easier in that it has happened many times before, and you get used to the cycle of grief and loss, but harder because I am far more open now to experiencing everything.

This time, Charley’s death hit me so hard it through me back into the Witness, where I was nothing but pure appearance.  I was No Thing, just the delight at everything that appeared before me.  Nothing was real, just appearance, and so was I.

Charley’s death at age 6 years and 7 months was traumatic because it was so premature and we both took such pains taking care of him for the last 4 months. Caretakers always bond more closely with their patients, and he was more than a patient.  Charley was the embodiment of peace, majesty, beauty, and loving kindness.  He did not play roughly like his brothers.  He was gentle and sweet.  As many vets have told me, the good die young.

But his death had me pondering again as to what happens to the Life Force when the body dies.

The two predominant Eastern theories are that a soul, or skanda bundle continue on in an afterlife, to be reborn after a period.  The second theory is that nothing remains.  All is just Shiva learning about the Play of Consciousness through us, his individual instruments for exploration, from bacteria, to insects, to birds, cats, and mankind. 

In this view, we are probes learning about Consciousness from a trillion embodied sentient beings, allowing the Source to gain knowledge and when the individual dies, there just is knowledge in Shiva of its past existence.

Probably both theories are bullshit, fairy tales to make us feel better about life and death.

So, I really don’t know.  But Charley’s death has once again shown me the magic of each sentient beings existence. How we should worship sentience in ourselves and in others, honoring how rare it is for matter to have even temporary existence as a living, loving, hurting sentient being.

I was taken though how merely pondering the issue of life and death, took me back to the pure Witness state of profound nothingness except pure appearance, with no pain, not grief, no love, but a very alive existence as appearance only. There, there was nothing to do, no one to take care of, no one to love or hate.  Just a lighted happiness with no emotions whatsoever.

But one more thing Charley’s death brought to me.

In 1986 I was diagnosed with Myofacitis, a chronic muscle pain condition due to hyperactive nervous system, and a regional version of Fibromyalgia.  In my youth I had been a weight lifter and athlete.  I had been able to bench press over 400 lbs, do hundreds of pushups, over 30 chin ups, and run 8 miles in about an hour.  I felt this facitis, was a result of all the accumulated muscle trauma, leaving me with a stiff body and muscles. Like Robert Adams, I had a neurological disorder.

Charley’s death brought a relaxation inside me such that the disorder within me is presenting itself as a total body syndrome no longer in the background, but in the forefront.  I AM is becoming the stiffness, accepting it, loving it, taking it in and healing me.  I have no idea how long this process will take, but the cure is happening now.

PLEASE HELP ME TO HELP YOU

If you like what I am saying, or you think it is helping you, or you attend our Sunday Satsangs, please consider donating something with the Paypal link to the right.  Donations are tax deductable, as We Are Sentience is a 501c3 California Charitable Non-Profit, and help support my work teaching, counseling, and animal rescue work, also explained on the side of this blog.

Everything is free.  Download my book from my website or any of the other books, the blog is free, Satsang is free.  

I want only that which comes freely from your heart.

Charley died today, peacefully at 2:55 PM

Day before yesterday Charley looked at me differently.  Intently, as he always did, but differently.  I felt he was telling me that he is tired of the struggle to eat and the chronic pain.

Then yesterday he abruptly stopped eating and wanted to be alone, so, miraculously, he jumped up again to the top cabinet in the kitchen, and just looked down and watched us. He still had a lot of spunk left in him said the vet.

Today we gave him a quadruple does of the narcotic pain relief medication Bupronorphine, and another whose name I forgot a couple of hours before we took him to the vet

The vet was very kind as usual, and we talked to him about what he thought, and he was agreed there was no need to allow him to suffer anymore.

But Charley did not want to leave us.  He was very affectionate, rubbing against our hands and legs and looking very intently into our eyes.  There was no fear or anxiety of any sort in him.  It was almost as if he knew what was going on or accented to it.

He was given an injection of an anesthetic that put him into a twilight sleep, and then a catheter was inserted because he had tiny veins.  After the anesthetic took full effect, he was given the "pink juice," Pentabaratol (sp?) and he died in Kerima's arms with me holding his head. Kerima sobbed loudly and I more silently.  We stayed with Charley's body for 10 minutes or so and left.

I feel grief, sadness, and powerless.  If we had another $6,000 we could have given im surgery to partially remove the tumor and his eye, followed by precise radiation that could have given him an additional 7-9 months of life.  But we didn't have it. So there is a sense of failure on our parts at not having been good-enough parents.

But the grief is always permeated with Emptiness, taking the sting of his death away, while yet the remaining grief moves freely through me like an old friend who comforts me with peace and rest, taking me deep inside.

Kerima is still in the other room crying. 

Down to Earth, No Bullshit Teachings

My way of teaching is to be as real as possible, as open as possible, as truth-telling as possible, and as ordinary as possible so that I am approachable to all.

I know many want teachers who are quiet, unengaged, aloof, and speak slowly as if each word should be taken as God speaking. I am not for you. That often is only a guru-role hiding lack of completion.

I emphasize a spirituality of embodied humanity; God and I are sometimes one, and often partners in negotiating life. I am not interested in creating Jnanis who hold the world and Self are not real. To me that is only a partial understanding.

I am more interested in creating saints who embody great love, compassion, self-love, and self-acceptance, who can go a long way towards reducing suffering in the world.

My way is exciting, filled with love, energies, service, and surrender, but also with a complete ability to feel and accept any pain, grief, depression, fear or anger; completely open to life and the levels of Consciousness. To experience great heights of bliss, energies, power, grace, and light, you need to be able to experience and thrive in the depths of negativity and sorrow; in the end they are all the same. Bliss underlies and interpenetrates all states, as does Emptiness.

The Void is alive and well, filled with YOU!

Charley has been communicating with me for the last day

Charley is tired.  Today, for the first day, he has refused to eat.  He just looks at me without moving or blinking.  His demeanor says he is tired of fighting to eat, the apparent pain, his blindness, and increasing apparent confusion.

I saw the resignation in his face yesterday, not so much that he wants to die, but that he is suffering and very tired of fighting the fight to stay alive.

Tomorrow at 2:30 we have a vet appointment.

1976 Photo of Maezumi Roshi and Seung Sahn Soen Sa.

Maezumi far right, Seung Sah next to him, circa 1976

I studied with Maezumi Roshi (Right) from 1971 to about 1977. He was the most emotionally open Zen Master I ever met.  I was with Seung Sahn from about 1975 to 1981 although we fought a lot.

Seung Sahn mastered the art of expressing anger and forcefulness. No modesty there.  he was not afraid to stand out in any setting, therefore created many Zen Centers all over the world, but with very simplistic teachings he hoped would survive his death.

Maezumi was highly intelligent, sensitive, and mastered the art of being contrite, admitting his guilt in many areas of his life and teaching, being truly humble, and just a lovely man.

Had I known then what I know now, I would have moved into Maezumi's center, but I had incorrect ideas of what a spiritual teacher should be like.

I should say that every Zen master I met was more open to life as a human than any Advaita teacher, all who deemed the world was not real because all phenomena were temporary and not self-caused.

A Long Quote from Michael Hall, a Psychologist, Well Summarizing My Own Anti-Zombie Teachings

Attachment to Emptiness

        In his 4/10/2013 webcast, Adyashanti addresses in a beautiful, clear, and direct manner the allure of emptiness and the need to move through this stage of enlightenment. Adyashanti speaks of the attachment to emptiness. The spiritual path is limitless, and every single step along the way has potential pitfalls. These difficulties arise in the form of attachments or aversions. 

I have spoken of the attachment to emptiness as dwelling in the ‘cave of nonduality’. Once the silence and peace of this absolute emptiness is experienced, it can be enticing, particularly to those who have experienced enormous suffering and trauma in this life. In emptiness there is no separation and hence no suffering. If the goal is the end of suffering, then emptiness is your ticket. Without the sense of self-identity, there can be no suffering as there is no separation. No separation means there is no comparison of what is with what isn’t. Without this comparing process, nothing is seen as lacking. There is neither joy nor the absence of joy. There is no passion, no desire, no fear, no pain of loss, no excitement, and no despair. Obviously meaningful relationships of all kinds are avoided or diminished, as relationships have typically been a source of suffering. 

The same can be said for all other forms of engagement in the world. Responsibility is avoided like the plague. The internal experience of emptiness is of a quiet contentment. People who have arrived at this deep, internally focused peacefulness appear emotionally flat to those not in the cave. There is often very little externally focused activity of any kind. Very little productive work is accomplished. Effort of all kinds is strenuously avoided as a sign of ego-based striving. 

A telltale sign of the depth of attachment to this stillness and emotional numbing is the ferocious response that occurs when an attempt is made to arouse them from their slumbers. The cave of nonduality is a deeply restful way station for the weary spiritual traveler, and abiding there a while is understandable and beneficial. The problem is mistaking a stage of the journey for the end of the journey.

After a deep spiritual realization, it is normal, even predictable to land hard in the cave of nonduality. Many years can pass quietly as the seeker rests, mistakenly assuming that the journey has ended. From my observations and experiences, it is almost impossible for the person (who no longer believes themselves to be a person) to recognize how stuck they are without some external assistance. This is where a trusted teacher who has successfully exited the cave and reengaged with the messy, unpredictable ordinary world is not only invaluable, but usually absolutely necessary. The discontent that drove the seeker to pursue self-realization with the passion required to awaken to an aspect of their true nature has ceased. Extinction is the nature of nonduality. There is no internal dissatisfaction left to motivate movement and action. What then is the motivation to leave the cave and reengage with the world of suffering and chaos, of desire and lack?

The only motivation I can find is a deep sense of compassion born of the experiential realization of both unity and separateness. Although my personal suffering may have ended in the cave of emptiness, a quick peek outside reveals an entire world of hurt. The instant that we wade into this morass of suffering, previously hidden attachments and aversions are activated and available for attention and release. As long as we stay safely within the cave, we can fool our self into thinking that we are ‘done’. As long as meaningful engagement with life and real responsibility are carefully avoided, we can maintain our carefully cultivated inner state of peace and contentment. The avoidance of engagement becomes the spiritually rationalized default setting. How can reengagement with the messy world be a good idea when it activates so many unresolved conflicts? This can be an especially delicate time for the spiritual aspirant who, having finally found peace, is asked to surrender it.

Many are called but few are chosen. If there is a willingness and access to accurate teaching, the rested seeker may gather up their few remaining possessions and begin the longest and most arduous portion of the path. The ordinary world of duality is engaged, but now it is intuitively understood from the aspect of emptiness, making all experience radically different. One of the last and most difficult attachments that must be released is the attachment to emptiness. The full engagement with ordinary life that is ultimately realized is beautifully depicted in the tenth ox-herding picture, where our fully liberated sage is completely at home in the world, demonstrating absolute freedom embodied as an individual and unique human being. 

MY RESPONSE:

Over and over I have been hearing from people who have practices self-inquiry, or been students of Ramana, Robert Adams, or Nisargadatta, that after months or years of such meditation they have fallen into deep depression.

Reading Robert, Ramana, or Nisargadatta, they hear that the self and the world are both unreal or empty of meaning and self-creation.  So, they say to themselves, "What is the point of practice, meditation, etc.?  What is the point of anything, and life leaves them, draining away emotions and joy, and they are caught in emptiness, Nothingness, and dry out. Some even commit suicide.

I specialize in rescuing these depressed, lonely, loveless, lifeless beings who listened to Ramana or Robert and practiced self-inquiry the wrong way.

Neither Robert Adams, nor Ramana ever themselves practices self-inquiry. Self-inquiry as they describe it is deadening.

Real self-inquiry is not finding the origin or source of the I-thought, but finding the sense of I Am, the feeling of being alive and present,  and then dwelling there.  When you find the I-feeling, just rest in it.  More than that, love it.  Speak to it.  Accept it into you, the Witness.  Fill the emptiness more and more by an awakening of the I Am sensation into a totally energetic presence.

The process is finding the I Am sense. Abide there. Love the I Am sense.  Take it into your heart. Accept all that arises within while dwelling in the I Am, as you, whether joy, bliss, or depression and fear.  It is all you.

There are at least three ways to awaken, by passing through various regions of the Self: the emotional body; the energetic body; or by love and devotion.

The most difficult in terms of "drama" is the emotional body route.  The easiest is through love and devotion, but not many are capable of the depth of love necessary.  But all three paths are interdependent.  Success at any of the three helps with success on the other two paths. Opening emotionally, especially through love, allows a greater opening to the energy body, and a continued deepening allows a point of explosive Sef-Realization of the Manifest Self, the Atman, or the duality of God in Man incarnate.

This is the antidote to the seeker of the transcendental who becomes lost in nothingness, heaviness, emotionlessness, and no meaning.  The is the cure for the spiritual Zombie. Practicing my way of self-inquiry is juicy, messy, and filled with the Life-Force, thus is also a vaccine against the Zombie Apocolypse.

Steve Speaks to Rajiv

Rajiv, You have to come back to the World.

Enlightenment is a trilogy: The first is No Mind, Emptiness, Thoughtless, Living in the Void

The second is Love, Compassion, Feeling, Emotions, Your Humanity alive and vibrant, Every moment exciting, creative and full of Wonder and Bliss. Depth, Valleys, Peaks and Expansion. Unsurpassed beauty.

The third is Absolute Compassion for all sentient beings and taking the suffering of others right into your Heart, Love in Action.

Edji is a Master who teaches all three just like Atisha taught.....rare teachers and a blessing on Humanity.

I can see you are just living Empty in the Void of nothingness, a state of depression, via negativity, Buddhas path. How else could you attack your Teacher and Guru? Your Heart is not shining with Happiness. The deep loving smile is not on your face. You look like a stone.

Rajiv, let Edji help you to bring a new Joy into your life. Let yourself breath in Love, live in Love, see how green the grass really is, see how luminous and wondrous all existence is, see the being in the tree and talk to it. Just let God shine right through you unto others. Give yourself the blessing of Emotion and Feelings. Be an innocent child in awe of life.

Your base will always be in the Void but you can also allow yourself many other dimensions-come alive, bring that Humanity with you. The Void alone is just an escape FROM Life.

Total Self-Realization is an escape into and for Total Life Being and Existence.

You couldn't criticize your Teacher if your Heart was full of Love. How dare you put down your Guru.

Bring your Emotion and Feeling back. Finish the trilogy. Your smart and brave enough to complete the cycle.

Reclaim all the territory, become colorful, become the whole spectrum of the Rainbow and every exploding note in the Music.

I see a world of difference between living in the Void and Living with all your humanity (Edji's Teachings). Kind of like chickens in a Factory farm locked into a small Battery cage where they can never stand up, never spread their wings and never walk around. Where as the Free Range Chicken gets to roam the farm, dig up the dirt, rip around the yard, have fun, let the rain fall on his head...just pure freedom and joy. Did you really ever feel the difference between a prisoner and a Free man? Same difference between a dark room and a sunlit room. Where would you and all your friends rather be?

Rajiv, we all Love you, come back, listen to Edji, Edji will never give up on you and he will open up new wonders that will truly make you a Sage. Finish your Path.

Email from Steve to me...no more TV!

Swamiji Sri Edji,       I want to thank you from the deepest part of my heart for allowing me to find you.

I hope their are 1000 steps on this path because each step is so much more wonderful than the last...I just can't believe it. This awareness  of plants, animals, the cosmos, the grass, music and  a  gang of wasps. 

 

I spent the day feeding honey and cranberries to the bees and just marveled at how they interacted with each other and the fly's and ants that wanted  some of that sugar.  Then all of a sudden one of the wasps flew up  and landed on my book...thanking me for the 'treats' and depositing a little of that gold on the page....that was my  'treat'  from him. They knew I was watching them. 

And to think this was always ...right in front of my nose.  

Just watched 'Fairy Tale -  A true story'  about two children and the fairies that became part of their lives.  Reminds me of childhood and all the wonders that adults deny....well its all coming back and more so.

Each day is a wonder.  Like coming out of a long hang-over.

Our TV is going out and its not going to be replaced as the movies in the yard and daily  life are so much better.

Love ya Edji,  steve

I HAVE NOT ABANDONED ROBERT, RAMANA, OR NISARGADATTA

I have just added an emphasis on Love to their emphasis on Knowledge (Jnan). This makes the path juicier and more human-focused.  I call this the incarnational or devotional aspect of spirituality.

Many people have left our Sangha because they feel I have abandoned Robert and Ramana.  That is simply, totally false.  I have just added an emphasis on Bhaktic introspection of the I Am sensation to activate the Subtle Body energies and the emotional body energies which adds powedr to anyone’s attempt to know themselves.

You see, Nisargadatta started his spiritual practice looking for the I Am sensation, finally found it, and experienced the endless internal energies and bliss he called Krishna Consciousness.  But later in life he entirely abandoned his body and Consciousness and identified with the Witness, the Absolute, Parabrahman.

In my own experience, and watching Robert’s students, Zen students, Muktananda students over the years, practices that emphasize on the visual/knowledge aspect of spirituality cannot touch or resolve depression.

Many of Robert’s students just got caught into an emotionaless Void, or inner emptiness which was devoid of the Life Force, Shakti.  Some committed suicide. Others just remained lifeless or depressed.

With my background of 30 years in psychology, I spent much time exploring, empowering, and learning about the human self, the personal self, especially as taught in the British Object Relations School. Much later I was to learn that actively directing love to aspects of that inner personal Self, which was called the Inner Child during the 1970s and 1980s, allowed access to buried emotions, memories, anger, jealousy, and most importantly, to fear, grief, and depression.

I find that a majority of those who practice Self-Inquiry in the way taught by Robert or Ramana results in a stabilized but unresolved depression, a huge pool of denied anger, and fear.  These are by-passed and undermine complete realization, or Self-Realization because the power of the personal is missing.  Also, there is little compassion there, because compassion requires openness to the physical and emotional pain of others. Those who have practiced just the direct self-inquiry of Robert and Ramana discount the external world altogether as not touching them, or else say everything is them, but do so from a remote and peaceful emptiness.

Treading down this emotional exploration and integration path should be looked at as following one thread of exploring the I Am, which is closely associated with a separate, parallel thread of the Subtle Body energies, or Shakti.  Many Bhaktis follow this thread backwards to the Self.

But everything I teach centers on Self-Realization by “descending” backwards or downwards through several separate threads or aspects within the experience of I Am.

I call what I teach Incarnational Spirituality, or Devotional Advaita, which is emphasizing the human interpersonal emotions and energies that keep us real, so to speak, keep us in a place we can feel compassion and love, which when turned backwards onto ourselves, will result in the explosive Self-Realization of the divinity, power, and love, that lies within us.  Ramana called this realization of the Self as Atman.  This is purely an energetic/emotional experience that keeps us empathic rather than aloof and distant.

Now, I also still emphasize realization of the Self as the Absolute, parabrahman, but very clearly state that without the continued experience of the personal, love, empathy, the Atman, realization of the Absolute can be very dry and lifeless.

Both paths should be done together.  This makes spirituality more fun, more exciting, less dry, and keeps us involved with mankind.

I have emphasized human love as essential to realization of Atman, but not to realization of the Witness, Parabrahman.

In the end, after having both styles of Self-Realization, of both Atman and Brahman, one KNOWS and one LOVES the Oneness of Atman/Parabrahman unity.

CHARLEY AMAZES US AGAIN!!!

UNBELIEVABLE CHARLEY!!!!!!!

Every day we give Charley a steroid shot, fluids under the skin for hydration, pain medication, and a healing session.  Yesterday we had an extraordinarily deep healing session, which I’ll describe on a different post later.

Charley has been able to eat again after 3 weeks of being only able to drink liquids.  For two weeks he has been ravenous for baby food and has actually gained weight. But today he stopped eating baby food, rejecting it all.  I was worried until Kerima told me that last night Charley began eating regular cat food again, just like all of our other cats!!!

I JUST CAN’T BELIEVE IT!!!  A CAT WITH A 100% FATAL DISEASE, WHO SHOULD HAVE BEEN DEAD TWO MONTHS AGO, IS GETTING BETTER!

BACKGROUND:

Charley, our 7 year old cat has squamous cell carcinoma ot the mouth (Mandibular), which is 100% fatal with no known cure.  His oncologist told us on June 10 he had a month to live.  He is still alive.

In fact, the longest any cat has live with squamous cell mandibular cancer with surgery, radiation, and chemotherapy is 435 days.  The mean time until death for cats receiving all three is 7 months. Cats who receive none of these treatments live about a month.

Charley received no such treatments, as the tumor was inoperable, and the palliative radiation alone would have cost $2,800, which we no longer have, and would have only given him only an additional 2 to 4 months of life.

Five weeks ago Charley stopped being able to eat anything, and could only get liquids past the tumor.  If he ate ANYTHING, it caused severe bleeding from the tumor.

Then two weeks ago, after many healing sessions by many people, Charley began eating baby food, Beachnut and Gerbers, and has been doing so for over two weeks, eating 4-5 bottles a day and gaining weight.

LAST NIGHT AFTER OUR USUAL HEALING SESSION, HE STOPPED EATING BABY FOOD AND BEGAN TO WOLF DOWN REGULAR CAT FOOD!!!! NO BLEEDING!!!

I HAVE TO SPEAK TRUTH ABOUT CERTAIN TEACHERS

I have tried to teach in ways never done before by any teacher I have actually been with, by being as honest about myself, other teachers, and sometimes ex students as I can be, within the limits of my own ability to be truthful with myself.

I have met and corresponded with several modern gurus, some of whom receive my highest recommendation, some a moderate recommendation, and a few who I feel may be or are harmful.  

Others related teachers, like Deeya, have my highest respect and greatest love. She is a gentle flower who needs a lot of support, love, and protection, and is not cut out to go the guru route, which she has admitted to many.  Crowds of people overwhelm her.  She likes small groups for intimacy.

I still recommend students to go to Deeya on a quiet, one-on-one basis, or through her Quantum Touch classes. She has the highest integrity and is a magnificent healer, but she does not like the public life, and faded from ours as "Too much pressure!"

More than that, she has the gift of psychic powers and an easy ability to transition to different dimensions and dwell in ecstatic states for days and weeks at a time, a psychic ability of which I am still striving to attain.

I also highly recommend Swami Chetanananda in Portland, who is extremely generous as a human with his teachings, direct healing work, and material things.  However, he never stops moving and newcomers may find him difficult to get close to due to the size of his ashram and Sangha, almost 2,000 people in Portland.  But he is from a lineage of great masters, such as Rudi and Nityananda, and is a practical, down to earth Tantric Guru. I love his presentation in this video of a quatralogue between him, Sw. Shankarabanda, Master Charles =, and Andrew Cohen.

Also I love Shankarananda as a brother and a friend and I am sure he is doing fantastic work for students in Australia.

Francis Bennett is another recommendation because of his humility and depth, and easy accessibility. We have communicated off and on over the past three or four years. He has integrity and clarity, and deals with the emotional aspects of spiritual pain. There are a few others that are popping up here and there, and are not so famous as to be unapproachable.

I also recommend Jan Esmann, but he has a thin skin and often takes credit for things he should not. 

But he thoroughly understands the Emptiness/Bliss apparent dichotomy and can transmit awakening through Shaktipat for those who are ready.

I have one special mention, and that is of Eric Pepin, also in Portland. Many pooh, pooh Eric as a New Age salesman, and he certainly is not shy in that department, with a wide array of DVDs and courses for sale at increasingly expensive prices.

But I read two of his books and like them.  He has a way of restating and reframing spirituality that is incredibly powerful, and offers techniques of meditation to enter the world of energies and dimensional travels.  But his organization, Higher Balance offers much that is free and helpful; however, the size of his organization means you are unlikely to get that close to him.  Nor can I gauge the depth of his teachings, because his books are written basically for beginners and focus on Subtle Body energies, psychic phenomena, and astral travel and getting students to take his classes. I have not seen him touch on the Manifest versus Unmanifest Self, and the mechanism of the origin of Consciousness.

EVERYTHING I HAVE OFFERED HAS BEEN COMPLETELY FREE!!

I started teaching meditation and Zen after several years of Zen practice at four University of California Extensions: UCLA, UCIrvine, UCSD, and UC Santa Barbara from 1975 to 1981.  I also taught meditation and led Zen retreats at the International Buddhist Meditation Center under the Venerable Thich Tien-An during all during the 1970s.  There I studied with many Zen masters, including Sasaki Roshi, Maezumi Roshi, Ven. Song-Ryong Hearn, Kozan Roshi, and Seung Sahn Soen Sa. I was ordained as a Zen monk both by Thich Tien-An and later by Seung Sahn Soen Sa.

For several years during the late 1970s I studied with Dhyan Yogi, a Kundalini grandmaster, who came to the IBMC every year for 4 years in a row, as well as Dr. Ed Wortz, a Zen-Gestalt psychotherapist. I also met the Dalai Lama and Shakya Tenzin, head of the Shakya sect, when both were hosted for long stretches, at the IBMC and Thich Tien-An.

During the 1970s as well as later during the 1990s, I was an instructor at the College of Oriental Studies and later, an officer and spokesperson for the American Buddhist Congress under Dr. Ven. Ratanasara.

As a result of this background, I was invited to go to Seoul Korea by the Chogye Zen order, and was installed as America’s First World Teacher of Chogye Zen  which basically allowed to found a lay order of my own anywhere in the world.

In 1978 I met my fried Swami Shankarananda at his Ashram in Los Angeles, and studied with him and Swami Muktananda from then until 1983 with Muktananda’s successors, Sw.  Nityananda and Chidvilasananda.  I was on the security staff for Muktananda when he was in Los Angeles for 6 months in 1980, and was head of Ashram security and bodyguard for the successors when they were in Los Angeles.

During the 1980s I studied psychotherapy, especially that of the British Object Relations school of Fairbairn, Guntrip and Klein while attending Sierra University, obtaining a Ph.D. in psychology, and began treating patients during 1987.  My dissertation was on spiritual bypassing, the use of meditation and other techniques as ego defenses.

In 1989 I finally met my Guru, Robert Adams, and stayed close by him for 6 years in Los Angeles, and two more years after he moved to Sedona.  Under him I obtained awakening first to the no-boundary experience of unity Consciousness, the experience of the interpenetration of Void and all phenomena, inner and outer, and then the realization that I was beyond even Consciousness itself. I was the observer of it and it did not touch me.

From 1987 until about 2003 I worked as a psychological assistant under many psychotherapists, and finally began teaching all that I had learned after tens of thousands of hours of meditation, study under six Zen Masters, Dhyan Yogi, Muktananda, and psychotherapy on a very applied and personal level in a way few other teachers teach.

In 2010, in a very mysterious process, I awakened to the full experience of Self at Atman, the identity of the universal sentience, or awareness as an energy being, with the source of that energy being the Manifest God, Kali, or Shakti. This was a Tantric Self-Realization of the Manifest Self through love, which is the primary point of my current teachings: How to use love to awaken one’s energies, Shakti, leading to realization of the manifest Self in a rather spectacular experience of energies, light, expanded sense of energetic presence, and the experience of oneself as both absolute Knowledge, Love, and energies.

Few are any of any of the army of 30 year old teachers know of this realm and associated experiences because they do not practice meditation and have not accumulated Joriki, or meditation power.

AND EVERYTHING I HAVE DONE, OFFERED STUDENTS, INCLUDING BOOKS, RETREATS, SATSANG, SKYPE SESSIONS, EMAIL AND PHONE CONSULTS, HAS BEEN COMPLETELY FREE!!!!

As part of my teachings, I incorporated as a non-profit during 2011 to support both my teachings, as well as the animal welfare work I do caring for over 300 feral cats in the West San Fernando Valley.  We started strong, starting a project called No Pet Left Behind that was supposed to involve Walmart and others to place cats and kittens into homes.

However, apparently the universe does not want this model of free teachings and animal rescue work all done for free, supported only by donations, at least as performed by me.

Part of it is my destruction at Facebook, where there is little or no respect for experience, training, or really, any sort of subtlety or nuance in teachings.  It is flooded with 20 and 30 year old teachers who may or may not have had some sort of awakening experience, and who have decided to capitalize on their awakening immediately, without further aging, meditation, AND HUMILITY.  This group are instant self-proclaimed experts, and the vast majority are of the No-Self, or no-separate-self school of thought where the only qualification is being able to market themselves through gimmicks, such as carrying a “You are Perfect” sign, or writing books about becoming enlightened by believing you are already enlightened and have nothing to do.

This is the old way, the traditional way of the Eastern traditions. Even my own former student, Rajiv, took the book we wrote together and began teaching almost immediately, and now does not even respond to email queries, but charges for Skype sessions, and online classes.

This understanding is a gross perversions of the teachings of Ramana Mahashi, Nisargadatta, Ranjit, and Robert Adams.  Now everyone is an expert of Facebook, because enlightenment only requires holding onto the concept that there is no Self and nothing to do or obtain.

BUT THERE IS A SELF, AND THERE IS SELF-REALIZATION.  

There is also a realization beyond realization of the energetic, manifest Self, and that is realization of Self as the divine witness, Parabrahman.  Full Self-Realization requires both realization of the Self as the Manifest Self of God incarnated in human form, and of Self as the Absolute, entirely beyond the world, beyond even emptiness and form.

The bottom line is that my work is not being and has not been supported by donations for a couple of years now, so I have to change.  It may be I’ll get off the Internet and FB altogether, and just teach a few students that come join me in Los Angeles.  Or I may move to Arizona where  I can live more cheaply.  Or I may stop teaching altogether.  Or, I may join with another teacher who the universe does support as I tried to do with Deeya, who has a magical presence and attracted huge crowds.  However, Deeya hated the pressure of “performing” before large crowds.  As she said, she is from a small city in Scotland, and has a difficult time with massive public exposure, and simply fell apart under the pressure of fame.

I may be leaving the world of marketplace gurus altogether, and continue to focus on learning how to use energies for real healing, way beyond Reiki and other such.  My gut feeling is that energy healing can really work, but the current systems really don't go deeply enough in terms of understanding of understanding how healing works.  Then I can make a living operating a pet health business selling products, as well as healing sessions.

My recent experiences with my cat Charley, dying from an inoperable squamous cell mandibular cancer has motivated me to look more deeply into systems of energy healing.

I am sorry it has come to this, but the universe has spoken.  It prefers teachers that promise instant enlightenment, no effort, no meditation, no spiritual growth or practices, and who are basically self-help salesmen selling an easy way to self-delusion.

SATSANG TODAY, SUNDAY, SEPTEMBER 14, 2PM CALFIORNIA TIME.

Go to to http://satsangwithedji.weebly.com.

Sign in with the password   "edji"  whenever asked.  Sign in as guest.  Please mute your microphone.

Dialogue with Jay about Ranjit Maharaj, Parabrahman and the Atman and the Void

FROM JAY:

Jay….I need you to define your use of the word/concept, Void……My experience of inner void is like  the outside of  the body there is space everywhere with object in the space. The space is not  modified by the objects nor can you say the objects are separate from the space…. now Inner Space is the same but more subtle, there is subtle differences in the inner space one containing the seeds of manifestation termed the casual body the more subtler is supacasual body the cause of the causal body which contains Knowledge in the form of Awareness . this is also recognised as the Body of Brahman another name is MahaMaya….This Awareness isn’t ParaBrahman!!

Ed's Response: I agree 100%.  I call this recognition and identification with Turiya or Atman.  Not Parabrahman.  

In any case i am not sure how you are using the word Void……Maybe Void is the Zero that Ranjit pointed at so often in his talks….Many years ago when i used to do allot of sitting meditation there was a time that i would experience a luminous void of swirling vortex energies….for a long time i believed by disappearing into this i would be enlightened and loose completely the sense of self that was believed to be the source of my suffering….of course this was not correct but yet it is a stage that i can only say that I needed to pass through……This was way before i met Ranjit Maharaj…I had no idea about my Self nature, coming from many years of Buddhist training i firmly believed there was no Self, it was a very confusing period……

Ed: I am not familiar with Ranjit.  I did not like his writing style or abstractness.  I like Siddharameshwar and use his terminology.

I call Turiya the manifest Self, versus the Witness, the noumenal, or non-manifest Self.  For me the Void is the inner and out spaciousness that permeates and contains all inner and out experience.  It is still part and parcel of the Manifest Self.

Let me say one more thing before i move on…..Everything seems to replicate itself from the most subtle to the grossest, all appearing similar to the prior but in each replication there is distortion it isn’t the real deal…..So lets say Parabrahman seems to appear to be Replicated to Appear as Brahman…you see they are both a Witness….The difference is Brahman is identified with the apparent creation because it is all Consciousness the very substance of everything and Nothing/ Form/Formless. Now ParABRHAMAN THE ORIGINAL FACELESS FACE ISN’T ATTACHED TO ANYTHING, IS NEVER MODIFIED IS CAUSELESS AND ABSOLUTELY NOTHING  CAN EVER BE SAID TO GIVE ANY INDICATION OF OUR ONLY REAL I. I AM NOT IN TIME OR SPACE NOR DO I COME AND GO, UNKNOWABLE AM I….Everthing else is transient and there for not Real…..In a way to be fair I would say everything is real and not real at the same time because I is Real and I is eternal substratum of all form and formless appearance….This is all my Self Knowledge through experience, sure many outside influences came  when needed to shed light call it Grace….Also i agree with Ranjit Maharaj understanding is shared through knowledge using words to point etc…….You may be of a different persuasion, i respect that. I can pretty much read discourse by anyone that is pointing correctly and derive what they are getting at…where when i started out with this so called official seeking it was very unclear, but interesting  what kept the me going this is  the Amazement of Grace…...

Ed: I mostly agree with your characterization. Just because phenomena are temporary, does not mean they are not real.

Also, you are both the Manifest and Unmanifest Self.  You can experience their identification when you have fully experienced both. Parabrahman and Atman are one in my experience.  AND, all four states are permeated by Emptiness.  All phenomena are permeated by the Void, and the Void is filled with objects and experiences, whether of the inner or outer worlds.  

Now you cannot directly experience Parabrahman as an object, but only know of its separate existence when you reside and rest in the Witness; then you "apprehend" that all that you see, hear, taste and touch are not you.

But eventually they all come together: the Manifest Self or Atman, the Causal Body, the Subtle Body, the Physical Body, all permeated by the Void, and YOU, as Parabrahman witnessing the Play of Consciousness.

WATCH THE BEST INTERVIEW I EVER HAD. WITH PAUL KELLY OF RAW AND COOKED VEGAN. WE COVER A GOOD PORTION OF ALL MY TEACHINGS. PAUL REALLY GETS IT.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=7HZHywjonhA

You cannot seek the Absolute, you can only Be it. Seek instead the I Am and rest there.

If you pursue and rest in the I Am, you obtain liberation while in bliss. If you pursue the subject, the Witness, it keeps receding more and more into the Void so that eventually you are the Void.

But resting in the I Am, you feel the separation between you and the I Am, allowing you to realize you can only Be the Witness, the Absolute. It is not observable, it is not part of the world. It cannot be caught or possessed. You are not part of this physical/energetic world as the Absolute.

Then, by going back and forth between being the Witness and identifying with the I Am, you gain the final understanding that you are both. As long as the body lasts you are an incarnated divine being joined by awareness with the Witness.

COMMENT BY STUDENT:

You started nice, you cannot seek the absolute, you can only be it! After you started writing about seeking and you destroyed the beautiful start!

Ed's RESPONSE:

You belong to that large class of people that have the mistaken concept that all you have to do is stop seeking, stop spiritual effort and all will be revealed. That is absolutely not true. This is a concept that traps you in mediocrity. 

Ramana would not agree with that; Nisargadatta and Siddharameshwar would not agree; Robert Adams an I disagree with that; Muktananda, Chetanananda would disagree with that. The six Zen masters I studied with would disagree with that. Buddha would disagree as would all Tibetan Lamas.  Ramaykrishna would disagree with that.  As a matter of fact, I can't think of any great teacher of present or past who would agree that effort is not necessary except the legion of posers on Facebook.

Only lazy and confused people believe as you do, or the tons of Facebook gurus that make a living off people who want to believe that spiritual effort is useless.

INCARNATIONAL SPIRITUALITY (AKA DEVOTIONAL ADVAITA)

Four years ago I began an experiment in teaching emphasizing introspective exploration of the I Am sense, not with the intent of transcending it and finding the Absolute Witness, but to explore all levels of human or embodied Consciousness. This included a special emphasis on three areas: Love/devotion/and surrender as number 1, exploration of all aspects of Subtle Body energies, and the bliss arising into the Subtle Body from deeper levels within Consciousness, and all aspects of human emotionality that emerge through the introspective process.

Many observers back then were unhappy with my emphasis on physicality and the Manifest Consciousness as opposed to Nisargadatta’s emphasis on the Unmanifest Self, the Witness, the Absolute, Parabrahman.

I responded by showing that in Ramana’s own view, the awakening he pointed to was attaining the experience of Satchitananda, existence/knowledge/bliss, by immersion within the 4^th state, Turiya, and then identification with that state as I or Self.

In fact, this is exactly the path Nisargadatta took before becoming a Jnani emphasizing the Witness or Parabrahman. In his earliest work, Self-Knowledge and Self-Realization, he speaks in terms of understanding and experiencing “energies,” then discovering Krishna Consciousness through Loving introspection and devotion to God and Guru, finally dwelling in Krishna Consciousness, divine bliss, Satchitananda.

However, by the end of his life all the bliss and energies seem to have departed, or at least he did not talk about them, and condemned all experience, all phenomena, as being unreal, the only reality being the impersonal observer, the Witness, Parabrahman.

Robert Adams and Ramana both usually refer to the experiences of bliss as a stage reached before attaining the Absolute, and Ramana mixed his own direct experience with Advaidic philosophies and complex series of Samadhis and purification that made his teachings rather complex and self-contradictory.  Robert on the other hand, just emphasized being the impersonal witness and in that state, experienced “peace beyond understanding,” which was also Nisargadatta’s claimed state.

Ed with Deeya, Cofounder of Devotional Advaita

In my experience of over 50 years of reading, meditation practice, and study with focus on attaining the absolute, the Witness, without also exploring the wonder and brilliance of our manifest selves, culminating in the realization of the manifest Self, orAtman, in the state of Turiya, can be a dangerous and dead-end path.

To me, without the wetness of the love, devotion, bliss, and surrender of Turiya, the way to the Absolute can be so dry and barren that depression and loss of motivation to continue can leave one hanging in a barren Void.

Zen avoids the tragedy of Advaita going awry by emphasizing the immediacy of present experience as much as Emptiness and the Void and placing little value on just witnessing once you have discovered the intertwined identity of experiential forms and emptiness.

Unfortunately, Zen has its own dryness because it does not value human emotions, love, devotion, and the experience of bliss, that is, experience of the Manifest Self, the Atman, as having any value except as just another appearance in Consciousness.  In fact, some Zen masters emphasize Emptiness more than the objects of Consciousness, such as our perceived bodies, or the dirt under foot, because Emptiness, by being relatively featureless, does not appear to change.

Indeed, Zen Master Sasaki directly told me to my face that there is no love in Zen. One can spend years reading Zen literature and find rarely any mention of love or emotions other than anger, anxiety, and confusion prior to enlightenment.  The emphasis of Zen is on the duality of form and emptiness, of life and death, and how they fold into each other.

My way has transformed into a method of loving the I Am, finding and immersing in it, allowing it to grow into a powerful sense of energetic presence, along with reading the Nisargadatta Gita and my own Hunting the I, as meditation manuals.  I also emphasize loving others in the world, which can start as a result of a powerful erotic love, or even a deep love and bonding with an animal.  Along with this I emphasize listening to sacred Eastern music and chanting which also energizes one’s sense of presence and can lead to feelings of deep love and of bliss.  Then I emphasize coming to Satsang and feeling the energies and bliss that circulate among us all for the hour and a half it lasts. 

In this way we begin to awaken the Shakti in us in a far more natural way, less effort-full, and more attractive because of the felt energies, bliss, and the infusion of our emotional selves as we become more aware of feelings long repressed or dried up. 

One also learns the key lesson, that just as emptiness underlies all forms, bliss underlies the emotional body level, and, when strong emotions arise, if we can accept them and allow them to permeate our hearts letting them be us for a while, we then come out on the other side to find a deep river of bliss.  One gets fastest to that bliss through the emotions of love and grief or loss; both emotions arise out of a very deep part of who we are as opposed to many other emotions that are more situational and less relational in origin.

The intent is to become so alive to our human existence, to love it and all that arises during immersion into the I Am sensation, to finally a realization of the divine in us as the Manifest Self, Turiya, or the Atman.

Later, if you so choose, you can go further to the realization of the Absolute Witness, the Unmanifest Self, but even then you will still have access to an alive Manifest Self for balance and wetness.

Thank you Deeya and Charley

Deeya at Robert's Condo--Woodland Hills

Deeya and Charlie have taught me a deeper meaning of service.  It is living in grace and humility. It is living deeper into the Self of All.

I used to wonder and even question Deeya’s emphasis on service to others, whether hospice work and healing both as she did, or caretaking for a friend or relative, or giving a homeless woman a meal, or providing medical care for children in India.  Others even questioned her motives saying a life of service like she provided was just to make herself feel better by knowing she was better off than those she served.  This, of course, was the most cynical comment.

Deeya during her hospice work was always given or just took the role of being the caretaker who spent the last hours and seconds with a dying patient.  She would be holding their hand and looking deep into their eyes as they passed out of this realm into the Emptiness and beyond.  She would feel their Life Force come into her and then pass through.  No one else would accept this role except she.  No one else had the courage or heart.

But Charley is teaching me that deeper meaning of service through direct experience.  Providing hospice care for Charley, watching him bond in love and dependence ever more closely with Kerima and me, caused me to want to devote myself ever more deeply to this brave and hearty lover who just did not want to quit life or stop loving.

Washing him because he cannot preen himself becomes an anointing. Waking in the morning finding his slim body resting against mine brings a deep happiness.  Awareness of the ebbing and flowing of his energies causes a spectrum of emotions to play through my heart, body, and especially my legs and feet as an electric tingling.

Resting in the Void next to him while lying in my recliner, I reach out to find his presence and try to give him that same ease of being.

Every moment he is awake he watches me.  If resting, he raises his head to see if I am looking at him or going somewhere.  If going, he follows me.  Such love we have; two sentient beings entwined in deeper awareness of Self, an awareness so deep it feels like a pool of Pure Life Force, utterly clean and uncontaminated.

Charley and Deeya I thank you from the bottom of my being for showing me the way to such amazing grace: a life of grace by living in service to others.