This is my favorite Satsang by far, so far. Here we talk about discoveries far beyond the discovery of Emptiness and no-separate self, to the discovery of the real Self through learning how to give and receive love.
Love is the Bhaktic way to Self-Realization, and in previous video Satsangs, such as "Self-Inquiry and Self-Realization through love and devotion " we talk about how the growing experience of love leads to identification with it, then to Self-Realization as the Self loves he or she who loves It, and opens Itself completely to the Bhakta.
The present video differentiates between the inner work of love versus the outer work of meditation, mantra, visualizations, scriptures, and self-inquiry, and how the former is what we do in our Sangha in contrast to most teachings that emphasize No-self, Beingness, Nowness, Emptiness, or Isness. These I describe as purely introductory and "external" teachings compared to the inner transformations created by vulnerability and love.
Realizing the Manifest Self--the Life Force permeating our humanity--and the Unmanifest source from which it arises.
Hi Ed ... I have "missed" or been late for the last 4 satsangs... as a psychologist I expect that you know this is not a coincidence ...and that beneath this apparent forgetfulness lies an issue worthy of uncovering.
ReplyDeleteWell I listened to this satsang a few days later ...and am compelled to write to you and do as you suggested in the talk ... tell someone what I am really feeling ....
It is not easy to go public with this .. but I cant keep it inside any more ...
I feel abandoned ,betrayed ,ignored and dismissed ... by you .. I am angry so angry that Deeya has left ... I don't know why she left but I suspect you had more to do with it than meets the eye and hence I am really angry at you ... I feel you have not disclosed what you brought to the situation .. and all the open disclosure to the sangha was disingenuous and manipulative. I feel used and betrayed ...and so sad ... she and you were .. the focus of my belief in the worth of the living teacher... doubly blessed because there were two of you ... trashed and ruined ...
How could you make her go away and leave us ... Why?
I feel so lost and sad and I don't trust you anymore ...and yet I cant not love you because you have been so giving and encouraging and loving ...
I don't know .. I don't know anything !... and when I go in and have a look at the tension ... I sense /see a brilliant energy in my head that is so close to exploding .. it is scary ... and when I look at my heart ... all that can be seen/sensed is a huge grey stone ... heavy .. but it too looks likely to explode ... the tension is too much ... and I am more confused than ever ... .
i could write more but the energy I need to keep all this contained is exhausting me .. I want to leave and quit all this searching and practising and meditating ... but I can't....
If the answers are all inside ... then what need for a teacher ... surely there must come a time when the books the practices the talks for the teacher must stop .. and then?....My life is crazy family members sick some terminally ... I need to go to them but I can't seem to make anything happen to move towards that ... financially I am worse than I have ever been ... My dogs I cant find temporary homes for ..and x-rays show my spine is made of marshmallow ... as it continues to rapidly degenerate the pain grows .... I am spent ... finished ,fed up ... it is all too much .. I give up I surrender ... and I am sorry for spilling my guts like this ... but I have no idea what else to do ...
ps I also thought you were very mean to Matthew .. a most devoted disciple ... when you told him "stop ringing you " he was as usual trying to be of service ...but that is an aside .... I am sure he is fine .. but I would like him to know someone noticed and felt compassion for him ...
.....yours feeling very sorry for herself .....Maggie...but oddly feeling a bit better ... !
I know how you feel. Deeya's leaving has been very hard on me too. Yes, I did have something to do with it, but much was out of my control. If you want to talk privately we can go deeper into this. It must really be hard for someone like you that does not know what went on. You could only feel betrayal. I miss her dearly.
ReplyDeleteThank you Edji I have sent a short-ish email .. I hope that is ok ...much love Maggie ...
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