Self-Knowledge and Self-Realization

Before I started my "official" search for enlightenment in 1968, I had already read Ramana, Yogananda, and tons of Zen books for years. Bassui was an 12th Century Zen master whose koan was, "Who am I?" I had practiced that meditation and collected a bachelor's degree in philosophy. I was clueless. I did not know what enlightenment was, who I was, where I was going--nothing.


One question sustained me: What was the ultimate truth? I knew it was not found in philosophy, which could only talk about it. I thought it would be found in some sort of profound experience, but what that was escaped me, and none of the books revealed what that awakening experience was. What they mentioned is what the newly enlightened monk said or did; there was nothing about the experience itself, and the only way pointed to getting there was self-inquiry. That question was characterized by "Who or what am I?" in its thousand forms.


Subsequently I had two major awakening experiences and hundreds, maybe thousands of small ones. No matter. No matter at all!


So, do you wonder what I supposedly have and you don't? Do you want validation of your own experiences? Do you want me to tell you whether you have experienced Turiya or not? No matter. It does not matter because Turiya is always part of your experience as are all other levels and strata of consciousness. They are always there in the One consciousness. Exploration differentiates and explores those levels. Again, no matter. Just more experiences and knowledge.


The experiences are important because they keep you involved. No experiences and you think you are wasting your time.  But what do those experiences mean---if anything? (And they mean very little.)


There are many kinds of samadhis where you obtain unity with some layer or another of conscious experiences. Is Samadhi important? Yes and no.


But the most important experience is not an experience, but the recognition that all states, samadhis, waking, dreaming, sleep, understandings, emotions, attachments, ideas, possessions, etc., come and go TO YOU. YOU are the central point of this existence. All happens to you. Without you as an observer, nothing would exist.


But who are you? Isn't that the rub? How do you find out that ultimate level in you? By reading books? By listening to Mooji or reading Ramana? Of course not. They can only point the way, and that way is to look within and claim your own identity as that which is beyond the world. It cannot be conceived of, described or passed on to another. One sees it only by him or herself, either through trust in the method of self inquiry, or trust in the guru.


Look how lightning quick Rajiv's liberation came. He trusted in his guru, did not argue, did not compare teachings of Ramana to Nisargadatta, or ask about Langford's method. He only listened to his guru. He gently asked for guidance, but it did not come through me. The guidance only appeared to come through this individual he called Edji, but, in fact, had nothing to do with Edji, nor Robert, nor Ramana. Where the power to lift illusion comes from, I don't know. It comes when it wants to.


I really have nothing to say as to what is posted on this site. It comes to me and acts through me, and does a far better job than I ever could. For months now it has been acting and talking about animals and compassion, because that is what has been presented to me as a body mind day by day in Los Angles.


If you guys were here, I'd be hearing your stories and wants, and the blog would reflect that.