Hello, Ed ...
I found my way to your Website vial a post on a Google group, "AdvaitaNow" which I enjoy ... I also have a website and just linked you. Your _expression of That which is utterly inexpressible rings the bell here :-)
A question? I sense from some of your writings that you feel there IS a place for "practices" on this path of non duality ... I was with Wayne Liquorman for 2 years, and since have been with "Sailor" Bob Adamson and spend time listening to his and Tony Parsons' CD's ... before that I was on a "traditional" path (TM, Siddha Yoga) and had a Guru (Baba Muktananda, then Nityananda, then Gurumayi....) I see that we share that 'connection'!
I suppose though my experience is my practices help a lot in reducing suffering where the "Who Am I" inquiry seems to just be a mental looping back on itself, I don't really know what or who to trust! Can you say any more about the practices and the final dissolution of the false sense of a separate "me"?
I like the honesty I feel on your pages.
Good to hear from you!
Right now I have some documents to get out but I will look at your site.
Ramana and Robert had only one main practice, the who am I. I did that for 18 years without attaining although it was necessary.
Practices depend solely on where you are and what blockages you have in your practices.
Tell me more about your practices and who you are as an apparent individual; i.e., your biography.
The even better practice, from my point of view, is the sitting, doing nothing, except staring inwardly to the empty self, the self-luminous Void.
If you cannot see that, you should practice opening the third eye. Directions on my site.
If you were in a center or monastery, things would be easier; with diligent practice of who am I, you could attain the first glimpse of your true self in six months. Of course, I was practicing Who Am I in sitting meditation 8-10 hours a day and most of the rest of the day while trying to function in the world.
Read my practices section as well as my biography section and pick a practice that seems right.
Robert and Ramana attained without practices so they do not speak of them—much.
Take care and write,
You said, "The even better practice, from my point of view, is the sitting, doing nothing, except staring inwardly to the empty self, the self-luminous Void...."
Yes ... sitting quietly, Being no Thing. Lovely. Then questions arise and subside in the empty Space-Of-Awareness
The question of Practices can also be answered for a mind by the inquiry, of course ... (Who asks the question?)
So: As you asked about "me", though there is a knowingness that there ain't none such, there still appears a questioner and a seeking some "final Bang!" and so it goes.
The Understanding is clear. But still a persistent sense of an "I" that seemingly OWNS the Understanding persists ... a subtle feeling, inchaote yet undeniable, a very faint thread of "Two-Ness" seems top persist ... hence the continuing investigation! ... Mu ...
Are you by any chance the guy who told Ramesh Balsekar that you meditated 8-10 hours a day at Henry Dennisons' place? I digitized all of Ramesh's talks for Wayne Liquorman at one time as a "seva..." amazing stuff ...
I also knew and loved Nityananda, who gave me the name Ishan ... lived in the Santa Monica Ashram 2 years, Jan 1983 - March 1985. We must have met! :-)
But there is little desire here to focus on any story ...
My website and blog have a lot of my favorite teachings and Links, perhaps if the spirit moves you to, you can explore and offer your comments and insights ...
I will do the same on your pages as you suggested. Though I am quite happy with the Ishayas' Ascension, I am open to all pointers...
Much Love and Respect,
Yes, abiding in the awe of the Void. This is preparatory. I knew there was no I for 19 years before I really knew there was no I. I practiced both Void seeing, doing nothing and Self Inquiry. But, like you, I found following the I stupid as I knew there was no I.
Then, one day, it happened, and that subtle sense of self disappeared. But it was not so subtle. It blew me away. The clouds of thought dissipated and I was awake from the illusions of thought-like entities, as the sense of mental sleepiness with the I-thought was destroyed.
I do not know what blocks you, except, probably, like me, you think too much. Robert said I was too smart (stupid) and had a hard time not having the mind come back.
Umm. OK ... i have NO idea what is going to come out ... tap tap air blows TV Golf in BG well ... go Tiger ... yay Mickelson ...
what is the block to "final Seeing?"
I can think of two: looking for final seeing; not looking for final seeing. The latter is th ignornance of normal people, the former, of the abnormal seekers. I had stopped seeking and was just hanging with Robert. NO SEEKING AT ALL. My fate was put in his hands. I had complete faith.
Could it be as simple as the thinking there is a block or any "final seeing"?
Yes. This is part, as you are still seeking because you know you are not, but know that you know not.
I don't know.
All I REALLY know is that. I don't know. And then there is at times a sort of quiet malaise ... not really what i would call suffering ... i went through pleny of that, though, until Ishayas' Ascension came along i had serached the internet for safe and painless methods to kill this organism ... and I still have a preference that life end sooner rather than later ... hope seems like a really bad idea, that the notion that there could be a better future is SO out of mental ignorance that it rarely gets entertained. For a long time I was in a deep despair. Now the worst that happens is a short few moments of anger or sadness ... or a subtle sense of hopelessness. That hopelessness might be a GOOD thing :-)
What you call malaise, I call wisdom. As Robert said, who wants to live a thousand years brushing the same teeth, eating the same food, etc. I am a living dead man and so are you. Yet, so far it has not brought you peace, maybe you have not had the I thought exploded. Reobert saiud looking at the I thought makes it stronger. Find the source. The source is emptiness, the Void. Yet, there is no Void nor Not-Void. Both are appearances associated with the I-thought.
One day I looked and the I-thought had blown up. Maturity???? The result of 19 years of Who Am I practice???? Robert's grace??? Not giving a shit anymore because I knew it was not mine to attain???
Sometimes there is longing for final release from the mortal coil still ... and yet I honestly don't have the balls to kill myself. I part of me still wishes I could do that ... I wouldn't mind living a while longer but I do NOT want to eb around when the money runs out; I canot work (too physically run down, lots of ailments, somke serious) and Soc Security does not begin to cover bills even for a frugal life style.
Robert said old age is when things begin to get interesting.
BTW if you want to use any of this rant please feel free
Anyway, let's see if there is more to rave on about.
I am Nothing. I know that I am nothing. No Thing.
And has THAT become a subtle NEW "me" ... a "spiritual identlty...?"
Yes. Precisely. The knowledge is your new identity. But that is not the GUT EXPLODING Experience of No-I-thought. Give it up. Pet your faith in Robert if you will. I still feel his presence. Faith brings relaxation and a mind uncrowded with seeking.
Tony Parsons repeats that there is no hope, because, it is not there is nothing that will ever bring forth the Big Bang ... it is worse. It is that There Is No One.
"Sailor" Bob reiterates, "There is no person." That is clear as a bell. Look for a me and all I find is Absence. An Absence of the Presence of a sepaRATE "ME."
But as yet there is NOT that "Absence oF THE ABSENCE of that Presence" ... as Ramesh pointed ... to The Absolute Stateless State ...
This feels done for now.
Thanks for asking that I write.
Well said, Ed ... this feels right on
there is Resonance ... with Bob, Tony and now Robert ... I too feel his presence permeating all you express ... it's lovely ... many thanks!