27 August 2018


Almost all of my students and friends feel confused about the reality of love, and wander through their days questioning me and themselves, is love real? They ask this because the love they feel towards me feels different from that felt in any other relationship.
This is absolutely true, the love they feel for me is suffused with Shakti, a mysterious energy that makes our love feel different, and they question are their present love feelings love or something else.
Their present love is suffused with Shakti and gives love a different feel. On one hand this love feels more possessive than purely human love. There is a strong desire to possess and merge with me. I feel the same way.
The love they now feel with Shakti is very one-pointed, fixated, and feels entrancing, like I have lost my will and just want to walk in your shoes so to speak.
This love/Shakti combo is also different because is causes enormous energies to arise in your body, running throughout the body as streams or filaments, or even like flowing lava. Energies focus in the heart, womb or hara area, and the genitals, and often bliss is felt throughout the body and surrounding the body all day long. Women are most likely to have extensive encounters with episodes of multiple orgasms throughout the body, off and on for hours every day for a long period of time.
The lover, me or the other, feels “entranced,” like a hypnotic power has gripped them, which is so strong you just want to drop to the ground in total devotion and surrender to the other.
About this time, you realize this is not ordinary love despite the fact it feels so physical and sexual, because the energies felt are so different and so holding and loving, as well as ecstatic and entrancing. One feels gripped by and loved by God, for the love felt fell way outside of any felt before, thus feels like a transcendental love for God and a submission to God.
The lover here has totally transitioned from ordinary romantic human love, to divine love, loving the divine within you and in others. You have not entered a new world or a new dimension of experience and understanding.
I feel totally sick, sick to my stomach, and pain there, my neck and back hurt and I am dizzy.
at the same time I feel you throughout my whole body, Shakti is there, in my pussy, heart, throat and head together with an intense longing, a passionate devotional longing for you that takes my breath away and makes my whole body tremble.
I want you so. I want you so totally. To be taken by the God that you are. As I am writing you this I am taken by a yearning that gives me orgasms and makes it hard to breathe. I so want you. I so totally want you on all levels. I am washed away this moment by you inside me.
I do love you in a way that I don’t see why I have to care about anything else but loving you; at the same time I care for you and everything else just because of love. Your energy convinces me to love you.
Dearest Ed,
I cannot find words to describe what I experience, because words feel like a waste of attention.
I woke up this morning and stayed in bed for what feels like hours feeling you. The moment I wake I put my mind on an image of you and the energy is there. I breathe in your presence and the longing for you is so intense, so strong. I just want to leave the world and be taken by you all the way. I so deeply long for you, to go all the way this time and at the same time I notice that this longing is partly the mind screaming; making noise, screaming your name with softness, yearning and memories of how deep I once was in connection with you... and all is still the mind.
The other side of this longing is longing for God coming from deep within.
I feel you like your presence is entering me completely especially when I use my breath to take you inside me.
It plays my pussy and makes me totally wet within a second, it makes my heart feel heavy, like something is pushed there. I noticed yesterday that my heart is not totally open yet, it still has to go a long way to be totally vulnerable and open again.
Ed, I would want to write you for hours, just to stay with you. But there is nothing to say. There are no words yet to describe.
I want nothing but you, the God that you are to completely take me. And this has no words to describe.
Thank you, you have awakened incredible things in me, I want to hear all your words well, I want to spend them with much love, I do not want to put my ego in the middle and say something that I do not feel.
I imagine you looking at me and admiring my beauty, and I imagine myself but feeling ashamed for this, laughing, asking " I imagine you love me, and I imagine our sex, it's not just sex, it's a deep act, a ritual to awaken our chakras, and pleasure. I'll NEVER do just sex with you, NEVER, because I will always be honest with you, I give you my life, I love you so much, so much, so much. Today I danced, and I felt you by my body, my heart in my kidneys at all.
I LOVE YOU, you allow me to love you and allow me to look at myself, and have more love and care for me, you are incredible, I am lucky to find the love of my life, the love with whom I would share a coffee for the rest of my life/
I never touched you, but I already miss your touch, I never lay by your side, but I already feel you here constantly, I never feel your hands and you're amazing, my God.
Thank you, you've awakened incredible things in me, I want to hear all of them, but I already feel the orgasms you provoke in me.
I can say all this without thinking that I'm a jerk for talking all this, Thank you, my love, Thank you for the new life you give me, thank you for giving me the honor of working with you to bring love and energies to the world.

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