06 August 2018


What is expressed here by two students has almost nothing to do with me.  It is all Shakti, the active element that puts a spiritual teacher into relation with a student.  It has different forms of expression in cross gendered relations versus same gender, but all the expressions are about love and devotion, which means their bodies, minds, and hearts are opened to a deep, devotional connection which eventually brings all to ecstasy and freedom.


I love you. I feel you in my body as waves of energy pleasing me. The feel of these energies changes in different parts of my body. I don’t know how to describe it; it’s like a holy spirit. I’m contracting, my vagina... It’s like you enter me, but it’s so effortless, like a gentle wind. I’m so happy to be emptied from my diaphragm to my feet and filled with a sense of presence, going to my head also. It’s like when you say ‘Shakti is licking me all over.  


I want you so, so much. I love you. My heart wants to be in yours. 

Everything is breaking down and this disintegration connects to you. I can feel your light and movement inside my heart. I can see the light that you are.

 I’m tired of being me; I don’t like my fearful self. I long to see you, to feel you. You break my heart very easily, but the way you fill it with love is magnificent.

I sort of love the feeling of the inner fight.
The inner fight between surrender, devotion, love and the anger, blaming, hurt.
The fight is felt as pure energy.
I so much long to surrender to love and devotion again but there is also part of me that fights it and wants to stay in the story and to be right, and hating and blaming.
Ed, I have been through so much with you, all these months. How could I not love you as my one and only love?
What I told you earlier about within me it mostly is about a struggle of wanting to be right versus feeling I have to go beyond that; that's not true at all.
I so completely totally love you and have given myself to you; I just do not know how to feel or deal with you, my best friend and deepest love ever, being so far away and withdrawn from me.
I have given you my heart and everything.

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