15 December 2011


 Message # 1 from Peter: 
Dear Ed,

o    Please listen to me.

o    I found you somehow, through Grace perhaps.

Have been a ardent seeker for some years now. This february there was a profound shift in perspective.

o    I saw from my own experience that EVERYTHING was seen, the world, the body, feelings and thoughts. Seen from "beyond", witnessed by emptiness. These things could therefore not be me.

o    This was experienced not as an idea or concept, but as an energetic shift, having nothing to do with the persona of Peter.

I have no close teacher that has gone before me and can clear things up and point me "further".

o    Some confusion creeps in because of the many voices in the "awakening circuit" saying different things. I read your essay "Awakening and progress" now. Here you say:

"One day, in an instant or insight, you see through the mind and all of its stories. The mind is seen to be just thoughts that form a loose network, and which creates “you,” as a person with an identity and a history, and also creates a world that you as an apparent entity live in. "

This feels just like my shift. It's how I myself phrased it shortly afterwards.
But there seems to be no permanence here which you also mention.

The old habits and ego mechanisms pop up every now and then, in much shorter time and are often seen through quite fast and disappear again when I again remember what I really am so to speak.

o    I wish so much I had a real teacher close by, the truth is all I want nowadays.

How could I really know if i am having awakening experiences or if awakening has truly happened? Does it matter in terms of what to do know, in terms of practice?

I hope I get my meaning across since English is not my main tongue.

Dear Ed, hope you could help me. I trust your authenticity.


Message 2:


I think I have just located exactly where i am in this "process".

In autobiography of a jnani, which I am reading now, on page 22 top page Rajiv says:

"Sir after the initial I-
thought or rather witnessing of thought is
over, a stream of consciousness is maintained for some time till
a few thoughts disturb it too. This is the dark void or emptiness
I was identifying with this earlier taking that to be the subject
and thoughts to be the object. But clearly now I can see that the
"consciousness" itself is the object"

This is what I also have done. Taking the consciousness as subject. It clearly felt that way and was accepted as me. How lazy. 

My question: how has he come to that conslusion? I need to look at this promptly. Damn, I have hardly started, I see that now. What a terrible and important insight lol. No thing like honesty here I suppose.

What ever you could help me with I offer deepest gratitude.


Edji Response:

Peter,  Yes you have had a true awakening experience, far above and beyond what the neo-advaitins talk about.  Read of my two experiences on the we are sentience.com website.  What you had was the more profound, second awakening experience.

The first awakening is of the "non-dual" state, where the sense of 'I' disappears, and it is seen that all the "objects" seen in consciousness, including the I, are merely concepts created by the mind through one's upbringing and education.  One then experiences him or herself as the unity experience, identification is with all of consciousness.

However, the second awakening comes and you 'see', apprehend, 'know' that even consciousness is an object, a concept, an illusion, and that YOU are entirely beyond it.   Thus the identification shifts from unity consciousness or identification with any objects, the the unknowable mystery of the subject, what Nisargadatta--and I--cal the Absolute, or the Witness, or "Parabrahman," which can never be known as an object.  YOU are the unknowable and ultimate subject to which these illusions appear.

Yes, indeed I accept you as a student.

You see, there is so much trash in the world of people who believe themselves awake because of some small insight.

Also, download Hunting the I, and the Nisargadatta Gita.  I want you to be able to take your enlightenment and spread it  to all parts of your life so that ultimately you are 100% human and 100% emptiness at the same time.

In time all of your questions will be answered, but be patient.  There is much to learn but you have the awakening, so half of your journey will be easy.  The other half, taking enlightenment and seeing that Peter and consciousness are both illusory the way we see them, and yet taking this insight into every aspect of everyday life will still be difficult, for here we are dealing with the entities that tie us to the waking dream.

The goal is to be a dreamer and be free at the same time.

I am so happy to hear from you.

Message 3 from Peter:

To sift through all the half baked teachers out there has been hard and frustrating. They were important up til a point but I felt something else is now needed.

Phew, finally, thank you, I knew you were out there somewhere and now my heart is full. If I also make you happy I now celebrate madly.

It is important to have that awakening validated, not to gain an Advaita diploma or a spiritual stamp but to see and find out where to go from here and where I truly am at this point. To have someone hand me a map in short. I haven't really trusted anyone elses validation as most anything seems to be called awakening nowadays.

They do pop up like frogs from a box these days. :)

I will read what you suggest. My fingers tremble with joy as I write this and my heart cries "finally", as you have so clearly formulated my deepest wish:

"I want you to be able to take your enlightenment and spread it to all parts of your life so that ultimately you are 100% human and 100% emptiness at the same time."

I had almost given up that this would be possible in this day and age.

With the utmost love and gratitude I bow my head,


  1. whoa, this is a high exchange between freshly awakened student and master.

    peter says it all:
    I saw from my own experience that EVERYTHING was seen, the world, the body, feelings and thoughts. Seen from "beyond", witnessed by emptiness. These things could therefore not be me.

    bravo peter, if you can see them then they're not you!

  2. Such a potent teaching! The witness can't be the witnessed. I wait for this to deepen. Thank you Peter and Edji for this exchange.


  3. John and Rich: thank you for your comments.

    A thing that I would like to emphasise here is this: the fact that "everything was seen" I really thought I had understood long before.
    And I had understood it, but this understanding was a thing of the mind, an intellectual understanding. This type of understanding will never suffice, never satisfy fully.
    The seeing itself is beyond mere understanding of ideas and I think that this confuses a lot of people (I know I was confused here).
    It is very easy to think this understanding is "it".

    Just a reflection. Thank you.


  4. Finally--finally!!!--I've found someone who's said it (BEing it):

    "I want you to be able to take your enlightenment and spread it to all parts of your life so that ultimately you are 100% human and 100% emptiness at the same time."

    I've always "felt" this deep inside--this sense of ultimate purpose or meaning to my being here (Earth). The point isn't to "kill" the human, the body, to escape it, to run away from it, as if it's something bad or wrong or evil or "less than." Just to BE and in that BE-ing not identify the All that I Am with it. Experience it, BE with it. Experience human BE-ing without THINKING "I am a human, person, etc." Experience all sans the limitations brought about by misidentification.

    I hope that came out understandably. Words can hardly convey...!!!

    Thanks again, Edji and Peter, for this exchange-- ♥

  5. wow cindy, you're speaking from inside my heart. many traditions, including advaita at times, 'kill' our humanity out of ignorance or

    fear of certain emotions, etc.
    it's safer to shut down in a 'cave' somewhere. but then you're not a person, just an enlightened object!

    this is a new way! to 'transcend' and yet stay with our human emotions. to have the guts to live, be vulnerable.

    we're getting there! little by little. that's why edji stresses getting our 'human presence' into the chanting, not just dissolving into nothing. as great of a quick buzz that is, it ain't it.

    if we want to do that, we can just take a pill or drink a couple shots of vodka!