Loris' Awakening is Unfolding
Yesterday morning in sitting meditation, before reading your answer to my last email, I was focusing as usual on the sense of existence in the chest area: suddenly a shift, in the head a deep silence, a Shiva silence, which tends to dissolve every thoughts and feeling; for all the meditation I didn't feel the head, like having no head.
It seems a process that deepens itself:
From that moment there is no separation, no boundaries, it is the Silence which operates, not an I, and there is no conscious choosing where to put attention, because the attention loses itself in this Silence.
The thoughts are there in surface at times, and memories, feeling etc. but all this last for a while and then Silence dissolves them in Itself.
It seems this Silence is now at the centre of personality and gradually changes its structure.
Yesterday evening, in sitting meditation, it seems Silence dissolved many mental-energetic structures in the head, in particular one deep-rooted in its centre.
In this morning sitting, Silence, remaining in the head also, began to come down and operated in the heart area: moments of bliss.
So, now, it is not an 'I' which meditates or focus attention, but all meditation happens by the power of Silence.
In the same way, non duality is not something to reach with a choose or with a focusing of attention (as before), but it is there always in background or foreground (that is, I am not ever conscious of not separation).
It seems a shift (I hope permanent) from a self-centered personality, to a Silence-non duality-centered personality.
But at a deeper level, all this has nothing to do with Me.
It is obvious I am not this Silence, nor this process: I am the One who knows all this, the Silence, the thoughts, the process of dissolution, etc.
In the last night, I was there, but there is a small period of time of no memory and the feeling that I need more experience of dream and sleep. Deeper, I know I remain and that I am not touched from all this: every change has nothing to do with me: I am the One who knows and experiences everything but cannot be known or experienced. Even realization or awakening seems a concepts: the only Reality, the only important thing is I, the Subject.
I pray for Total Surrender to You, the Absolute (which is I!)
Deepest gratitude Master,
is All Your Grace,
Your awakening experience is proceeding well.
The process and experiences are a little bit different for everyone.
This is the overall view. Consciousness wants to have hundreds of different stories about its nature. Ramana had one story, Robert Adams had another story, Muzika has another story, Rajiv has another story, and soon you will have your own story.
At this point you are doing exactly what you should be doing, letting the awakening process unfold through you without interference.
I love you a lot Loris, and may you save hundreds and thousands of humans and animals through an unfolding life of love and compassion and knowledge.