Self-Knowledge and Self-Realization

UNTIL YOU HAVE REALIZED GOD WITHIN YOU, THE LIFE FORCE WITHIN YOU, YOU HAVE REALIZED NOTHING!

Yes, I know as a Zen person, I accepted the highest truth was chopping wood, carrying water: ordinary mind. But even ordinary mind was suffused with emptiness, a Void that penetrated and supported the world I heard and saw.  And the Void is an awesome thing!

Then I met Robert Adams, and my small self disappeared into the Void.  I became emptiness itself with no central personal self.  I also aw, whoever I was, but something saw, maybe emptiness itself, that even consciousness was not real, but states that occurred to me, whoever and whatever I was, but did not know myself.   I saw the waking consciousness, sleep consciousness, dream consciousness were all states that came and captured “my” attention, each for a time, but “I” was untouched, entirely outside of the many fields of consciousness.  I was unborn.

For 15 years I dwelled like this until a woman came to me who loved me in every way possible, and I awoke to love.  I, whatever I was, felt love for her, and felt her love for me.  The love became deeper and deeper until I felt in the presence of God himself.  With her I fell to my knees bowing to his power, grace, and love, and both of us felt His grace, his love, through the love we had for each other.

The depth of this love for each other grew until one day I realized I was love itself.  This state stayed with me for days during her absence, until one day, a remarkable experience.  The divine, the life force revealed itself to me as an explosion of light and energy arising out of the darkness of my gut, upwards as white light and earth shattering power showering my heart, upwards through my throat, head, and outwards and above.

My whole body was electrified by this non-electric power.  It was God in me, the Life Force in me, showing itself to me as witness, that this too am I: the divine within, now my constant companion.  Each day, I, whoever and whatever I am, worship the Shakti that animates my body, my mind, my heart, my digestion, and my sexuality.  Sexuality infuses everything.  It is life itself.  Every Chakra throbs with the power of God. Three in my head, one in my mouth, two in my throat and chest, three in my gut and genitals.  Each radiates with its own feeling and power.  I have become fully re-incarnated.  I can truly say, “I have come alive!”

Now I worship myself and others who are aware of the Shakti within themselves, and wish so hard that all might know her.