What is happening here.?
When I focus on going into I AM, usually I feel like I'm there. Aware from where ever that is. Not watching it happen or observing I AM .
But all day today, instead of sinking into my heart center, my sense of awareness is popping up into my head , third eye, where the sense of lighted consciousness is. The light is familiar to me from zen, but hasn't pulled me in lately.
I observe from there down at my heart, and sense my consciousness sinking into the heart center and below. Finally resting in subtle body behind my physical back. That is often the place I rests, but not always.
But its strange feeling remote, just observing, while also sensing the connection and sensation of being in I AM. But not being in it. My awareness is watching I AM
Feels schizoid; sensation and awareness separate With awareness observing . Sensation being felt.
Who's feeling the sensation and aware of awareness?
It feels like my body feels I AM and awareness is watching.
I don't like it. If I stay there long enough, the light expands out completely until everything disappears into just the lighted field. No sensation, just light.
This has happened over and over, no matter how hard I try to stay with the I AM I hate it. !!!
Syndria, it is all you. The Witness is where Nisargadatta wants you to go, and the I Am is the Atman, energy and sentience together.
All these are what I call rooms in the spiritual mansion. Also here find Emptiness--the Void, the lighted field which fills the void, find also bliss, grace, deep sacred humility, various levels of the I Am sensation terminating in Turiya, Satchitananda, AKA as Atman.
These are all parts of you. After you have visited all of them enough, you own them all. You accept them all as you as well as the day-to-day living as an ordinary, "unrealized" person that has moved 360 from knowing nothing, to knowing Emptiness and Nothingness, then all all of the magical, blissful, and energetic states, then back to Syndria drinking tea with a Zen master, also drinking tea and farting. (Old Zen masters do that.)