18 February 2014

Another letter from "Sex with a bull"

If you want me to ghost write your next book, just say so. I may start copyrighting my various missives to you. Some day I might be able live on the royalties. I'll have my people call your people, we'll take a meeting at the Ivy. I want the paparazzi to see me with the infamous love guru.

We'll end it there, leaving lots of material for a sequel, perhaps a trilogy. Who do you want to play you in the movie? There will absolutely be a film or two in this. I'm seeing Alicia Keyes as Janet. Now Deeya is crucial to get right, hum. Not easy, she may have to play herself. Which leaves you. I would have gone with Phillip Seymour Hoffman, but now...I know the British actor Michael Gambon.

See its all coming together....soon you'll have enough money to buy the Michael Jackson Wonderland property for the ashram. Just don't start wearing all white clothes everyday or dressing in ocher colored silk with oiled hair like the very likable Swami Ji. The True Love Guru!

Alright I'm sure you've already posted my first royalty check, the one for the infamous " I feel like I just had sex with a bull, a great big bull." line. I should have had my agent demand double for the use of that line. Well, I'm feeling charitable, I might throw in the ISIT or is it ISIP line free this time., or donate the royalties to the Ramana Ashraman. No to Nisargadatta historic house fund., that would really irk Rajiv.

Oh well, this will send me to self inquiry hell already. God, what if hell is doing Implosive self inquiry for ever????

I'm sunk then. Think I'll go eat some ice cream right out of the carton.
Good night, Oh Great Cooker!

Ed: Dear Bull,

How about Jeff Bridges?

Love your growing freedom and reanimating your body. May the Force be with you!

No comments:

Post a Comment