You can never find the I, you can only be it

"If the ego is really a collection of “processes” rather than a single entity, either an I-thought, or an inner psychic form which we can view by looking into our subjectivity, then of course self inquiry or the recent “Direct Pointing” method will always find nothing." --Ed Muzika

What this means:

Nisargadatta said, "Bombay does not exist. It is a collective." By this he means there is no one thing you can point to as being Bombay. There are 10 million people.  Millions of houses. Thousands and thousands of businesses. Streets, parks, colleges. City boundaries, hospitals. Etc. Therefore "Bombay" is a concept, not a real entity.

‘Bombay’ is a word that points to an idea, which in turns points to a bunch of other concepts like city boundaries, people, transportation system. Therefore you can never find Bombay by looking for it as an object, one person or building at a time. It is grasped as a concept by mind. In this way, the word “Bombay” is not findable by a direct pointed search within the city itself, because ‘Bombay’ does not point to anything.

So too with the Self. It is everything really, and cannot be found as a single entity within by direct search. It is the I-feeling, it is the I-thought, it is the inner darkness as well as the lighted Void. It is the waking and sleep states. It is the Causal Body of forgetfulness. It is the inner bliss. It is the body. It is our emotions, the Third Eye, the Heart Chakra, and also the Witness that stands behind all, including the witnessing of the search.

Neither Siddharameshwar not Nisargadatta ever stated that people do not exist, his mother or wife, or denied the existence of his cancer.  He only stated that at that point in his life of being 80 years old, be identified with himself as the Witness of Consciousness, which included everything seen, heard, felt and touched, which is a reflection of the Absolute seen as the world.

Here is something else to ponder. At the end of his life Nisargadatta was suffering extreme pain and weakness. He often said he wanted to die. He was through with life. Therefore he identified with the Absolute: The Witness of all. BUT YOU DO NOT HAVE TO DO THIS! This is where he was at 80.

But if you are 30, 50 or 60, you still have lots of life to live and enjoy. You are free to identify with any aspect of your life, not just the I-Am, or Turiya. Not just the Absolute. Feel free to be whatever you want to be in the moment. 

Whatever you do, don't listen to those who preach purity, austerity, asexuality, and urge you to only seek God or the holy, for they are truly stifled and sick people. The technique of Neti, Neti, of denying one thing after another as Self, throws out both the bathwater and the baby.  These scolds send you to a dark hell of puritanical propriety.