Negative Emotions, Powerful Emotions
Back in 1986 I wrote a Master’s Thesis entitled, “Enlightenment as a Defense Against Psychological Pain.” I proposed that many spiritual practices, such as mantra and many forms of meditation were conscious techniques used to escape pain or mood disorders, such as depression.
Freud and other ego psychologists spoke about conscious and unconscious ego defenses such as repression, denial, projection, splitting, projective identification, sublimation, etc., to avoid conscious awareness of the libidinal impulses of the Id, or the crushing guilt and criticisms of the superego. Through these defense mechanisms, the conscious awareness was more peaceful as the ego moderated and modulated both the urges to love, have endless sex, or to destroy obstacles or people that got in the way, and the internalized controller and punisher, the internalized representative of societal repression and convention.
But I spoke of spirituality in many forms as being conscious mechanisms of finding peace and rest from these internal wars, and they were a mere parody of a “true spirituality” where a person sought their own core Self.
Instead, people found peace in teachings of peace. People found peace by staying in meditation on the various voids or states of emptiness. People lived by concepts of positive thinking, lofty teachings, glad tidings, concepts of being a good person, etc.
Or they used mantra and japa to crowd out all thinking and emotions. They tried mediation when sexual or murderous thoughts and impulses became too strong.
Eventually, either the methods failed and the person abandoned them, or perhaps they died to their emotional selves, and became sort of deadened. They lost their humanity and became permanent glad-sayers who found everything OK and just as it should be. Everyone had the perfect teacher or practice for them. There were no good and bad teachers, it was all relative. The world and life was unfolding as it should. All is preordained, no need to think or worry about anything. Thus, they died to their humanity by means of a concept of peacekeeping.
THIS IS TOTAL BULLSHIT!
When one practices “real” spirituality long enough, has wrestled with all of his or her demons, felt deeply and dealt with death, loss of loved ones, deep jealousy, deep frustration, rage, hatred, as well as love so deep that one becomes lost in ecstatic bliss, then one finds that ALL INTENSE EMOTIONS, once they are no longer feared or resisted, convert into moving bliss then ecstasy.
All those negative emotions when faced, accepted, and even loved, turn into life, love and ecstasy!
But to know this, to feel this, to own this truth you need to be able to experience everything, from the deepest humiliation and expose, to the most intense, ecstatic love of someone you must not love, of forbidden sexual impulses, such as the son for the mother, or daughter for the father.
One of the most powerful keys or methods is awakening ones sexuality. This allows you to blossom as a human, to love and lust whether consummated or not. There is a rawness in deep romantic love and lust that causes the shakti to flow most powerfully, and which can awaken the Self from her imposed coma of mundane life, conventions and concepts.
To do these things, to awaken to the totality of yourself, requires complete openness, complete fearlessness of exposure before God or man. You life and actions are an open book with no fear of humiliation, retribution, condemnation, or loss of loved ones.
It is so incredible. You become as strong as a mountain, more fearless than Achilles, more loving than Krishna or Christ, more blessed than Mary, more honored than Buddha, for you cannot be cut by words, hurt by exposure, tempted by money or the concept of peace.
When you have reached this state you no longer run from pain as does everyone else, but you run towards it, for those strong negative and positive emotions are the suppressed and feared you. When you regain these lost elements of self, the buried, personal self, that integration explodes in you the power to access the True Self, the I Am, the Godhead!
No matter how easily or often you can access samadhis, or dip into Turiya via abiding in the I Am, until you have brought your unwashed, unclean, dishonest, rageful, jealous and extremely needy buried self into the open, and then, going further, showing it to the world, you will not be able to stay there. As long as you have any fear of God or any man or woman seeing you other than your idea of how you think you should be, your tasting of the Self will be brief.
However, repeated tasting of the Self, the immense source of the I Am, aids immeasurably in giving you the courage and strength to own, appreciate and love everything that arises within you, and to equally prize, love and appreciate those who cause intense emotions in us, both negative and positive, because they are giving you the opportunity to experience God in the form of shakti.
All emotions lead to bliss, to ecstasy, to God if you let them. Therefore run towards emotional pain, not from it!